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In Today's Tequila Treehouse... Monkey clashes with UN Tutus OK BFEE Thug Goss Kerry on Bush in Florida D-r-i-v-e   b-y   N-e-w-s  When Fascism Comes  Lives of the Rich and Pious GOP Gets Camera Shy Why We Cannot Win in Iraq Lyons and Conason columns   Quote of the Day "I hope you heard the president's speech    at the United Nations... The only problem    with the speech was Bush was talking about    freedom and democracy to a room full of    thugs and dictators..."   -- Rush, failing to explain why Bush would        speak to a room full of "thugs and dictators,"                                                Attribution

 

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 Quotes

"...Aristophanes, who surely must be God, has given us George W. Bush, a man unfit
  to run a hardware store let alone a nation like this one, and who has merely reaffirmed
  for me the maxim that informed the writing of all these books and that makes our lives
  as Americans as precarious as anyone else's: all the assurances are provisional, even here
  in a 200-year-old democracy.  We are ambushed, even as free Americans in a powerful
  republic armed to the teeth, by the unpredictability that is history.
        --Philip Roth, "The Story Behind 'The Plot Against America"    Attribution

 Monkey clashes with UN over global security

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 The Chimp handjobbed the UN with an idealistic appeal to all nations to embrace liberty's century
 at a forum where he had previously delivered a belligerent ultimatum to Baghdad. Freedom is finding
 a way in Iraq and Afghanistan and we must continue to show our commitment to democracy in those
 nations, Mr Bush lied. The liberty that many have won at a cost must be secured.

 Hours later, al-Zarqawi beheaded another US hostage in Iraq, the second in two days.

 Bush claimed that the world faced a time of tremendous opportunity,(does he mean for Halliburton?)
 in sharp contrast to a somber warning by Kofi Annan about the unravelling of international law.
 

 Since Bush is a world-class criminal, he knows Rule #1 of the Criminal Code: Never admit anything.
 After screaming obscenities at the UN last year for not seeing the "wisdom" of his bloody Iraqi invasion,
 Bush pulls a Limbaugh with his "See, I told you so," that just isn't true - not by a long shot.

 The whole world is praying that America votes out the never-elected schweinhundt.
 

 Underlining his argument for a new definition of security founded in the advance of freedom with
 a new financial commitment (That he and his friends could then loswt like they US Treasury.)
 Mr Bush proposed the establishment of a new United Nations democracy fund. He pledged an
 initial contribution from the US to set up a fund to finance such things as independent courts...

 Independent courts?
 You mean like the one at the Hague where Bush pressured other countries into giving him
 and all America service personnel a "hold harmless" for "any all all war crimes?"

 What the hell good is an "independent court" if they don't have our military to back it up?
 If they vote Bush guilty of crimes against humanity, who will invade America and take Bush
 the way he invaded Iraq and took/murdered Saddam and his family?

  Comments?

 Quotes

 "Boondocks (The Post is not publishing this week's strip because of content issues.)"
   -- WaHoPo, finding another excuse to censor Boondocks
 

 Sure, but they'll print every ugly rumor Drudge and the vulgar Pigboy can fabricate.
 Christ, we are so far from 50/50 we can't even see the dividing line anymore.
 I'll bet they're running Mallard Fillmore at twice the size to make up the space.

 Senate Pink Tutus confirm BFEE Thug Goss
  What, I should praise them for allowing Bush to cover his global crimes?

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 A Senate panel has approved the nomination of  Porter Goss (R-Nazi) to cover Bush's crimes
 as head of the CIA, overcoming Democrats' objections that Goss was too political for the job.

 Sen. Jay Rockefeller, ranking Democrat on the committee, voted against Bush's cabanaboy Goss,
 saying that Goss had "repeatedly used intelligence issues for partisan purposes."

"While I appreciate his testimony and commitment to nonpartisanship if confirmed, I must vote on
 his record, not his promises," Rockefeller said. "I sincerely think he'll cover up Bush's crimes,
 but I really wanted to get home in time to see the finale of The Amazing Race," and it was
 not worth my time to even consider a filibuster.
 

 This made me sicker than I already was. The next time Bush gets caught murdering some country,
 Goss will testify "truthfully" that he knew nothing about it and that makes me f-ing sick.

 No wonder they control the White House, the Senate, the House, the Supreme Court etc., etc., etc.,
 When your opponent fails to take the field, it's easy to win 50-0.
 

 Karlo Marx and Fredrich Engels
 Came to the checkout at the 7-11
 Marx was skint - but he had sense
 Engels lent him the necessary pence

 Luther King and Mahatma Gandhi
 Went to the park to check on the game
 But they was murdered by the other team
 Who went on to win 50-nil
 

  Comments?

 Subject: Walking out

 If Kerry walks out, saying the monkey doesn't want to debate man-to-man,
 (see yesterday's issue) the media will twist it around and say it was Kerry
 who didn't want to debate Bush given his incredible grasp of international affairs.

 Keep up the good work.
 Raji
 

 Raji, that could be true, but in my opinion, the debate tactics are the difference between
 Kerry winning or losing this race. In my opinion, Kerry has squandered so much ground
 by taking July and August off to go windsurfing, he's got to have a knockout to win this.

 It won't help for Kerry to do "really good," in the debates.
 He's got to bloody Bush and make him cry, live on TV.

 BTW, thanks to Susan Estrich of FOX News for arranging Dukakis's tank disaster.
 Susan, I hope Murdoch is paying you in silver

   Comments?

 GOP Senators Tell Unpleasant Truths
   by Joe Conason, who is on AAR with Al Franken every Friday

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 ...if you dont want to hear a Democrat say that the situation in Iraq is deteriorating dangerously,
 listen to a Republican Senator instead. "The worst thing we can do is hold ourselves hostage to
 some grand illusion were winning," said Chuck Hagel, a Republican from Nebraska. "Right now,
 we are not winning. Things are getting worse . The fact is, were in deep trouble in Iraq."

 Quotes

"The big hang-up was Bush wanted to get life lines,
   ...you know, so he could call somebody. "
    --John Kerry, on Regis on why it took so long for
       the Bush campaign to agree on a debate schedule,   Attribution

 Kerry challenges Bush in Florida

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Kerry chose Florida to hold his first press conference in more than six weeks.

"The president has problems in the state of Florida," said a campaign aide.
"Democrats are motivated by the way the 2000 election was decided."

 Offices have been opened across the state as part of a 50 million dollar campaign.
"The president is in trouble in Florida and we expect him to loose," said the aide.

 Joe Garcia, a former executive director of the influential Cuban-American National
 Foundation, has left the Republicans to work on the Kerry campaign.

 Controversy over the way the election is run in Florida could also help the Democrats.
 

 I hope the Democrats are considering having cameras at primarily black precincts
 to record Bush's Nazi goons as they try to prevent legals from exercizing their rights.
 

  Comments?

 Quotes

"What I worry about is when I hear the stories of people who can't find work.
  And so we've got to make sure that we continue to focus on jobs, and job creation,
  and job growth. I think the ingredients are pretty good."
    --Dubya, whose recipe for jobs has lost over a million of them,  Attribution
 

  Comments?

  Subject: debates

 I'd suggest you have some bloggers there to fact check on the spot, right AND left!
 Would make it far more interesting!
 R Keefe
 

 R, that's much too complicated for the Democrats to figure out.

 Remember 2000?
 Karl Rove had a direct line to Tim the Whore at NBC, and every word that came from Gore was
 run thru 50 Rove-approved fact-checkers and every perceived Gore flaw was magnified a hundred
 times by Tim the Whore who called him on it while Bush's lies and mistakes were totally ignored.

 Four years later, no way the Democrats have caught up with that.
 In 2024, someone Democrat will say, "Hey, we should try that, too!"
 

  Comments?

 Telling tales
   by Gene Lyons

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 The so called liberal media's piling on CBS has been something to see. I hold no brief
 for Dan Rather, but every journalist has been hornswoggled by sources. But thats the
 beauty of the "liberal media bias" trope. We live in the aftermath of three of the most
 egregious press failures in American history: the Whitewater hoax, the Washington press
 cliques "war on Gore" during the 2000 election and its disgraceful parroting of Bushs
 Iraqi "weapons of mass destruction" propaganda.

 All three benefited the Republican right. All were perpetrated not by Rush Limbaugh
 and The Washington Times, although they did their best, but by The New York Times,
 The Washington Post and the major broadcast networks.

 Quotes

In todays New York Post, Roger Stone, who became associated with political dirty tricks
  while working for Nixon, refused to deny that he was the source the CBS documents.
  Will Ed Gillespie or the White House admit today what they know about Mr. Stones
  relationship with these forged documents? Will they unequivocally rule out Mr. Stones
  involvement? Or for that matter, others with a known history of dirty tricks, such as
  Karl Rove or Ralph Reed?
   -- Terry McAuliffe,    Attribution

 Lifestyles of the Rich and Pious
  Life is Good at the Catholic Church of OC

  Click  Here  to see the pictures of their million dollar homes

  Excerpt:
 Would you like to work for a company that, when facing millions of dollars in lawsuits,
 buys you a multimillion-dollar house? How about an employer who adds a second story
 to your massive home while the government forces it to pay $5.2 million to settle a lawsuit?

 Think it can only happen at Halliburton? Well, think again: you can enjoy all of this if youre a
 priest for the Catholic Diocese of Orange!  This is the same diocese currently pleading poverty
 in explaining why it cant reach a settlement with sex-abuse victims.
 

 People will be shocked when they find out how much bling the Catholic Church is hiding.
 They claim they're not able to pay their rape victims while moving into million dollar digs.
 Like a mob boss getting divorced, they'll claim poverty while bathing in Cristal Champagne.
 The bankruptcy filings around the country will be devastating, unless the media covers up.

 Subject: I did everything they asked me to do and met my requirements"

 Bart,

*I did everything they asked me to do and met my requirements and was honorably discharged. "

 Everything? Including the medical exam, documented as skipped? Including numerous drills, documented as skipped?

 You're  the -only- person of note on the entire Net who has noticed that Bush finally got pushed into
 a direct lie about his service. McClellan and the entire rest of the gang have been very careful to stick
 to "he was honorably discharged", but MonkeyBoy had to embroider that story the instant the question
 finally got kicked to his level.

 Thanks for noticing.
 I only wish all the other "astute" bloggers and Bush-bashing sites were as sharpeyed.

 Cheers!
 Doug
 Atlanta

 Cat Stevens Denied Entry into America
  Denied admission to the United States on national security grounds

  Click  Here
 

 Iraq Turns Over Decapitated Hensley Corpse to U.S.
  That's so nice of them - who said Iraqi's weren't nice people?

  Click  Here
 

 Fatal Car Crashes Increase in Israel After Terror Attacks
  Stress is a bitch, ...but there's no need to move to a peaceful place

  Click  Here
 

 Tiger Woods drops out of 'Lumber' tourney
  He's "too worn out" after worst loss in Ryder Cup history

  Click  Here
 

 Rosa Parks Suffers From Dementia
  That explains why she was seen with Republicans recently

  Click  Here

 Subject: beheading contractors

 Dear Bart,

 Read my lips: We are in Iraq to build our EMPIRE, not their country!
 And the Iraqis know it better than we do, because they are living (and dying) it.

 It's not just about oil and Israel but about opening markets to cronies.
 Remember that good old word "globalization"?
 Naomi Klein explained it on DemocracyNow! yesterday.

 Iraq has, for one example, 17 cement factories, but none is being used for reconstruction.
 All is being done by outsiders. Kind of like how our folks get pissed when illegal immigrants come in to do the work here!

 My old hometown paper, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, did a big story Sunday about the risks
 people are taking to join Halliburton, how patriotic they are (yeah, right), mostly how much $ there is,
 mostly how few jobs are here.  What they failed to mention is what Klein said is how much Iraqis resent
 how Paul Bremer came in and laid off workers and banned labor unions that even Saddam allowed!
 Big mistake--they were allowed to keep a rifle!

 The biggest lie perpetrated all over the whore media is the possibility of bringing democracy to Iraq.
 It has never been the intention.  This is our new colony.
 Everybody, please read my man, Greg Palast's The Best Democracy Money Can Buy,
 and get his emails sent to your inbox.
 Greg gets all the best documents from the WTO, IMF, and all them other MF's, get my drift?

 New topic: Bush/Kerry Debates:  When I saw on this site that the honchos in charge are Jimbo Baker
 and Vernon Jordan, my conspiracy theory fears popped up again.  Did you know that Kerry wanted to
 hire Baker as part of his foreign policy team, til some librulz screamed, and that Vernon is or was a member
 of the good old Carlyle Group (along w/Andrew Young) just like two George Bushes used to be?
 This you will learn, once again, if you will read uncle Greg Palast. YIKES!!!!
 It all sounds just a little too incestuous to me. Yuk.

 Condor
 

 Condor - Kerry tried to hire Baker, the man who got Bush installed?
 I don't care who said that, I'd need hard proof to believe it.
 

  Comments?

 When Fascism Comes to America
  It will be embraced by FOX News

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 ...although those who relied on FOX News were found to be the most misinformed,
 it wasn't until a series of FOX e-mails was leaked to the press that anyone grasped
 how "purposeful" the intent to mold opinion actually was.

"Bushs political courage and tactical cunning are worth noting in our reporting through the day,"
 FOX News chief John Moody e-mailed staffers on June 3, 2003, in one of many instances where
 reporters were instructed to glowingly praise G.W. Bush as Fearless Leader Extraordinaire.

"The President goes to Charlotte to talk about job training. Buoyed by the 300K job
 figure last week, he can boast his policies are working," Moody ordered on April 4, 2004.
 

 You really need to see Outfoxed.
 They show how the FOX News anchors are ordered to praise the monkey and lie about Kerry.

 First, they show the actual memo from Moody that says,
"Bushs political courage and tactical cunning are worth noting in our reporting through the day,"
 and then it shows 6-8 of the FOX anchor flunkies praising Der Fuhrer's "courage and cunning."

 It will make you laugh out loud when you see Murdoch's puppets perform.
 It has the kind of proof only a Kool-Aid drinking Nazi can claim is false.

   Comments?

 Subject: moral opposites

 Pat Tillman:  He gets killed fighting terrorism in Afghanistan after giving up millions of dollars.

 Bush/Cheney:  They get tens of thousands needlessly killed after diverting the resources for
                           the real fight against terrorism to Iraq to make BILLIONS of dollars for
                           their families and friends (the Carlyle Group/Halliburton).

 baja steve

 Bush Campaign Gets a Case of Camera Shyness
  Suddenly they're afraid to get before a camera?  Could they be ...guilty?

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
"Facing questions about Bush going AWOL, the GOP postponed a call scheduled to discuss
 the issue this afternoon. The Bush campaign has also cancelled appearances by Dan Bartlett
 on cable networks this evening. These cancellations came as the Bush operatives refused to
 appear live alongside Kerry campaign official Joe Lockhart."
 

  Comments?

 Quotes

"The number of Iraqis dead since March 2003 is by now at least eight times the number
  of people who died in the World Trade Center. They had their last words, and their last
  thoughts as their worlds came down around them, too. Ive attended more wakes and
  funerals this last year, than Ive attended my whole life. The process of mourning and
  the hollow words of comfort have become much too familiar and automatic."
      --Riverbend, Baghdad Burning,   Attribution

 Subject: CBS/media

 Bart,

 I have seen comments suggesting that the phony documents that Dan Rather was duped with
 came from a GOP operative.  if this is found to be true I think the media,  meaning the big three networks,
 may just come out swinging with the thought that if one of CBS's top guys got suckered.

 Who will be next and what kind of bullshit are they feeding us?
 This may just be the wake-up call the media needs.

 Ed, a disgruntled news watcher.
 

 Ed, I have a different take on this than most.
 Rather got suckered so bad it makes him look like he was soooo unprofessional
 that he'd do anything to bring Bush down, which is just what the Nazi right wanted.

 Sidebar:
 Notice how the media keeps saying "the experts" told rather they papers were false?
 Have they mentioned once who these "experts" were?  I haven't seen that mentioned.
 Why can't the whore press just print the facts of the story?

 But, ...Rather's screw-up didn't get 1038 men killed.
 Only Bush could screw something up that bad.
 

  Comments?

 Quotes

"I am a Registered Republican. I know a thing or two about supporting our troops.
  I have given two sons to the United States military. One is a Reservist who went in
  with the first wave into Iraq, the second is a career marine who went to Iraq 16 months
  after Bush declared 'mission accomplished'.  Before one of my sons left, he went online
  to buy himself a helmet that would better protect him than the one which was issued to him
  by the US military. If anybody doesn't support the troops its Bush - he sent my sons to war
  with no plan. They were ill-prepared and the result is more and more casualties everyday.
  As a mother of the troops I know that supporting our men and women serving overseas
  is not the same as supporting George Bush."
     --Nita Martin of Pennsylvania,  Attribution
 

 There was a guy on Franken's show Tuesday. When he got to Iraq, he wrote home and said,
 "Mom, don't send cookies. Get in the internet and find me a Kevlar vest," and she did.
 The soldier said they weren't given armor because Bush said they'd be greeted with flowers.
 He said his CO told him armor was being "phased in" over a ten year period.

 Subject: I was wrong about kerry

 He's the best there is. Dude is huge.
 We got it wrapped, anytime he feels like it.
 You go, JFK!

 Richard
 

 I thought Kerry was damn impressive on Letterman.
 (Lots of that in BCR Show 55, if my head ever shrinks)
 He spoke like a normal man, not the man who gives his speeches.
 Let's hope he lands a haymaker in the debates.
 

   Comments?

 Quotes

"Al Qaeda would prefer "somebody who would file a lawsuit with
  the World Court or something, rather than respond with troops."
    --Dennis Hastert, (R-Sweaty Wrestler) on why Osama wants Kerry in the White House,     Attribution
 

 Haster is lying.
 The truth is, al Qaeda would prefer an idiot who attacks Muslim countries for no reason
 instead of the country where al Qaeda is currently hiding out ...and that's President Monkey Bush.

..

 Subject: e-mail Zepp got on yesterday's "N***a" editorial

"Thanks for today's essay, which told me the truth about "Boondocks",
 which has been my favorite since it first appeared.

 In the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, the strip has been running as "Can a BRUTHA get a job?"
 I didn't have any idea that this was editorializing on the part of the AJC until I read your commentary."

-- signed, a loyal Weasel
 

 Thank Koresh the Atlanta Whore Constitution "saved" Atlantans from being
 seared by that word that none of them have seen or heard in the last forty years.

 Put Away Your Hankies
  a message from Michael Moore

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Enough of the handwringing! Enough of the doomsaying!
 Do I have to come there and personally calm you down?
 Stop with all the defeatism, OK? Bush IS a goner -- IF we all just
 quit our whining and bellyaching and stop shaking like a bunch of nervous ninnies.

 Geez, this is embarrassing! The Republicans are laughing at us.
 Do you ever see them cry, "Oh, it's all over! We are finished! Bush can't win! Waaaaaa!"

 Hell no. It's never over for them until the last ballot is shredded.
 They are never finished -- they just keeping moving forward like sharks
 that never sleep, always pushing, pulling, kicking, blocking, lying.

.

   Comments?

 Subject: questions

 If Kerry is clever and smart he can work around being unable to ask direct
 questions and tell the questioners to ask Bush-----"Why didn't he take his physical?"
 and any other point he would like to make.

 Does Kerry have the guts to use that tactic?
 Don Z
 

 Don, that could work, but the person asking question can ignore that,
 and even if he asks, Bush can ignore him.

 But if Kerry were allowed to ask Bush direct questions with follow-up,
 Bush would be forced to answer and then Kerry would destroy him,

 Why didn't Kerry push for the right to ask questions?
 It would be so easy for Kerry to say, "Bush is afraid to answer my questions
 because he knows his behavior has been inexcusable" and then hammer that home.

 ...but it seems as tho Kerry has let the young Bush boy off the hook.

 Why We Cannot Win

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 I am a soldier currently deployed in Iraq, I am not an armchair quarterback. Nor am I some politically
 idealistic and naïve young soldier, I am an old and seasoned NCO with nearly 20 years under my belt.
 I am not just a soldier with a muds-eye view of the war, I am in Civil Affairs and as such, it is my job
 to be aware of all the events occurring in this country and specifically in my region.

 I have come to the conclusion that we cannot win here for a number of reasons.
 Ideology and idealism will never trump history and reality."
 

   Comments?

 Subject: poor Dan's head

 Dan should go when the rest of the networks and cable news channels police themselves.
 All of them fell for WMDs and failed to investigate the charges put forward by Bush to justify the war with Iraq.

 Thousands have died for a lie and that doesn't compare with Dan and his documents. The real media mistake
 goes untouched while every right wing radio talk show and news programs call for Dan's head. Many of the
 radio personalities profess to be journalists, yet their education level is the equivalent of a GED.

 Dan comes from the old school of journalism and is held to a higher standard than biased cable news shows
 or radio shows. One difference between network news shows and all the others is the lack of name calling.
 When is the last time you heard Dan call someone an idiot or a femme-nazi?

 Rosie
 

 When I hear, "Dan Rather and CBS have lost all credibility..."
 I think, "What does that matter? ...FOX News is still on the air..."

 VCR Alert

 Lose yourself in Lost  (ABC, first hour)
 A plane crash. An uncharted island. A tiny band of frightened survivors.
 A totally original, fabulously enjoyable lost-at-sea series.
 Real characters and honest emotions - old-fashioned fun.  (Robert Bianco, who you can trust)

 Law & Order  premier (NBC, second hour)

 C.S.I. New York  premier (CBS, third hour)

 World Poker Tour's  San Jose's Bay 101 Shooting Stars of Poker repeat

 Sidebar:
 The last two nights, channel surfing late, I've caught poker on ESPN Classic - what this?
 It's the World Series of Poker from 1993, and how starnge it is.
 Nobody thought of a table camera, so the viewer couldn't see any cards.
 No wonder nobody watched poker back then, plus some oddities.

While playing, they smoked, drank and ate!
    Last night, some old dude went "all in" while chomping on a damn sandwich!
Everybody, the players, the crowd, the announcers were all 50-plus.
    How strange to see an entire crowd of Senior Discount gamblers.
The announcers were some dude I didn;'t know and Dick Van Patten, father to current
    "Show tunes going off in his head" great Dick Van Patten.
I saw the first million dollar pot in live TV poker history.
The winner was paid $1 million in cash ...and $35K in silver - WTF?
    Remember, this is Binion's (Where we held the first ever BartCop Pokerfest) and Benny Binion
    was murdered allegedly for the silver he buried in the desert. What's with the silver payoff?
    Was silver some kind of good luck charm for Benny Binion?  (Apparently not!)
One of the last hands, maybe the winning hand was won with a King high straight flush.
    Trust me, a straight flush comes up as often as Bush gets something right.

 Sidebar in a Sidebar:
 We have a subscriber who was a big-time, former poker professional who is reluctant to talk
 about the past.and could probably answer questions like the Binions silver deal.  I sure wish
 I could change that situation, I will attempt again to coax the pro to speak, ...anon of course...

 Subject:  Rather was made Bush's scapegoat

 What Rather did, still does not erase the fact that Bush did not fulfill his duties to the National Guard;
 and it doesn't suddenly Bush a decent human being because Rather apologized.
 Bush is the one who should apologize for taking us into this bloody-unprovoked war by his lying.

 Marian in Missouri
 

 Marian, I agree.
 Why doesn't somebody just ask Bush, "So, why didn't you take the physical?"

 The only one with courage is Helen Thomas and they won't call on her anymore
 and the entire balance of the Washington Press whores do as Bush tells them

..
 

 Subject: get a clue

 Well, let's see........................

 George W. Bush is the highest educated President to ever hold the office.

 ha ha
 Then why can't he answer the most simple questions without a script from Condi?
 Let me ask you a question:
 Which goal is harder to achieve - getting a diploma from Yale or becoming president?
 We saw how Bush became president - what makes you think his diploma is any more valid?
 I have an IQ of 64, and I'm waaaaay smarter than your Monkey.
 

 Now that being said, he may not always be right but you of course are
 obviously not only a supporter of communism but also an idiot.

 As stated, I have an IQ of 64.

 You need to leave the country or get an education,  Moron.
 I can't believe I took the time to write your sorry, ignorant ass.

 Unbelievable!  Take a history class.
 Dan Washburn
 

 Dan, I'll bet you could tear me limb-by-limb in a live debate.
 I'll bet you could wipe the floor with me and make me say, "Bush is great," when you're done with me
 I'll bet if we debated, I'll bet one of us would be crying like a school girl inside of 15 minutes.

 Would you care to teach me the lesson I so badly need to learn?
 I've been waiting so long to find somebody to shut me up
 I'll bet we could get a crowd to watch, too.

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