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In Today's Tequila Treehouse... Jeb Bush & his Felon List O'Reilly in Sex Scandal  Time for Bush to get worried D-r-i-v-e   b-y   N-e-w-s  Bush already won, GB TV says Bush a Disaster for Middle Class This Dirt is Self-Evident StL Trip report update  Foul-mouthed Monkey mail   Quote of the Day "I've decided I don't want to advertise on    Sinclair television stations. It's a public trust.    It seems they're abusing it.     --Adam Lee, owners of 10 car dealerships,                                 Attribution

 

Support Bartcop.com PO Box 54466 , Tulsa, OK 74155PayPal to bartcop@bartcop.com

 Quotes

"We have been impressed with Mr. Kerry's wide knowledge and clear thinking - something that
  became more apparent once he was reined in by that two-minute debate light. He is blessedly
  willing to re-evaluate decisions when conditions change. And while Mr. Kerry's service in Vietnam
  was first over-promoted and then over-pilloried, his entire life has been devoted to public service,
  from the war to a series of elected offices. He strikes us, above all, as a man with a strong moral core."
     --NYW Times, endorsing Kerry  Attribution
 

 Is it a good thing or a bad thing to be endorsed by known prostitutes?

 Report: Jeb Bush Ignored Felon List Advice

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Jeb Bush ignored advice to throw out a flawed felon voter list before it went out to
 county election offices despite warnings from state officials, according to a published report Saturday.

 Florida Department of Law Enforcement computer expert Jeff Long told his boss that a Department of State
 computer expert had told him "that yesterday they recommended to the Gov that they 'pull the plug'" on the voter database.

 The e-mail said state election officials "weren't comfortable with the felon matching program they've got," but added,
"The Gov rejected their suggestion to pull the plug, so they're 'going live' with it this weekend."
 
 

 These crooked bastards will break any and all laws to elect their felonious folksy spokesman.
 Prediction: The Democrats are going to let them get away with it.
 

  Comments?

 Quotes

"Bush has been a polarizer at home and abroad, confrontational with allies and adversaries alike,
  blind to the effects of his favor-the-rich economic policies and deaf to the millions of Americans
  who have lost jobs or health care or have sunk into poverty on his watch. If he were elected to
  a second term, Bush could not be expected to solve problems he doesn't concede exist."
      --Boston Globe, endorsing Kerry,    Attribution

..
 "Send me your number, I'll call you..."

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 "We're all over this story," says Bonnie Fuller, editorial director of Star and The National Enquirer.
 "This is not going to go away."

  ha ha
 It damn well better not.

"Our readers absolutely know him," says Fuller of O'Reilly, the most popular cable news anchor in
 America and the driving force behind Fox's ratings supremacy. "He's known for news, not for sex scandals.
 His accuser is a working woman the same age of many of our readers. They're going to identify with her
 and want to know every detail about what she's alleging, how he's responding, how this might go forward
 and what the possible outcome might be, how it's going to affect his career, her career, his family, his kids.
 I'm sure there are going to be an enormous number of twists and turns."
 

   Comments?

 Quotes

"With the advent of the month of Ramadan and the need for Muslims to unify ranks in the face of the enemy...
  We announce that the Tawhid and Jihad Group, its prince and soldiers, have pledged allegiance to the sheikh
  of the mujahideen (holy fighters) Osama bin Laden. "
     -- Zarqawi's group pledging allegiance to Osama,  Attribution
 

 Bush has done more for Osama than Osama did for Bush on 9-11.
 On 9-10, nobody even knew who Osama was, but Bush made him world famous and popular.
 Osama knew aht he was doing when he joined forces with Bush.

"It is aimed at boosting morale and recruiting more people by saying that Tawhid and Jihad have become
  the soldiers of bin Laden in Iraq. It also aims to belie U.S. claims that Zarqawi was an al Qaeda member
  by saying he only just joined the network."
     --Yasser al-Serri, who believes the Zarqawi statement was aimed at unifying the anti-U.S. militants,  Attribution

 Great Vibrator Quotes

"Politicians, news people, clergy all have images and all depend on
  the trust of the public to succeed. ... You do something (sexual and
  get caught), although it's not illegal, it embarrasses your employer
  because your employer operates on credibility."
    --Bill the Vibrator O'Reilly    Attribution

 Subject: the O'Reilly accusations

 Bart,

 I HATE Bill O'Reilly like I hate the whole of FOX Whore News but you really shouldn't
 quote the plaintiff's allegations as though they were truth. If you think Bill Clinton (or Kobe,
 or Michael) are entitled to be innocent until proven guilty then so does that loser.

 Calling him "O'Reilly, the Masturbator" is at this point unsubstantiated -- and insults
 the proud art of masturbating.

 Cheers!
 Stuart
 

 I'm going to do to O'Reilly what he & FOX did to Clinton.
 If they don't like it they can sue me.

 Its time for Bush to get worried

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
"The big story of the US presidential election up to Thursday was how few undecided voters there were.
 Now the final presidential debate is over, these voters have essentially made up their minds - and it is Bush
 who should be worried. If John Kerry is elected the 44th president, it will be because of a single night in
 Miami, Florida, when he came to debate and Mr. Bush came to - well, no one is quite sure. The double-digit
 lead that Gallup polls, long considered an authority for presidential polling, gave Bush after the Republican
 convention was fully erased by that fateful 90-minute confrontation."
 

   Comments?

 Quotes

"I am a registered republican. Lately however, I can't believe how much my fellow conservatives
  believe that anything that is not "Pro Bush" or in line with the conservative way of thinking is
  either biased or "liberal"... I would like to remind you that another right-wing based political party,
  not to long ago, had the tendancy to do the same and eventually ended up burning books that were
  not along the party line... they were called "facist". This lack of viewing programs as purely a
  perspective is truly making me ill and having me think twice about what party I should belong to.
  Respectfully, An american service member in Europe."
     --Wade Paul, Heidelberg, Germany,  in a letter to Frontline    Attribution

 Subject: O'Reilly just blew his career

 This little piece of gossip wouldn't see the light of day without some damning substance.
 He's about to replace pig-boy in the limelight and there's never been enough oxycontin to cover that pain.

 Leighton
 

 If I was the type of guy to beg an employee to help me get myself off, on tape,
 I probably wouldn't help lead the lynch mob against a guy less perverted than me.

 Gingrich ordered the sexual investigations into Clinton while he hid the sec-banging from his wife.
 What's wrong with stupid men?

 The vulgar Pigboy, helped lead the Clinton lynch mob while he hid his nasty-ass heroin habit.
 What's wrong with stupid men?

 Bob L:ivingston accepted the job as Squeaker of the house while he had a dominatrix.
 What's wrong with stupid men?

 Reminder:
 The only reason Dennis Hastert became Squeaker is because after they went thru every other
 Republican in the House, Hastert was the only man who'd never cheated on his wife (with women.)
 Nobody had ever heard of Hastert until Livingston got caught, and the last thing the GOP needed
 was three consecutive wife cheaters in a row to resign the top House position.
 

  Comments?

 Quotes

"O'Reilly has called Mackris' charges "the single most evil thing I
  have ever experienced - and I've seen a lot," but he has not denied her accusations.
                                                                                   Attribution

..
"It's so terribly evil!!"

 
 What a joke - the single most evil thing he's ever experienced?
 Is it really worse than Bush getting 1101 soldiers killed so he could steal Saddam's oil?

 Bush has already won, 47%-43%
  Green Bay TV station says the election results are in

..

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 AP is now saying the article was a "test article" (WTF?) that was "inadvertently" picked up by WBAY.
 Now, I've been a freelance writer/journalist for quite awhile, as have you, but I've never heard of writing
 "test articles" in advance, other than advance obituaries for celebrities. Have you? Furthermore, I Googled
 '"test article" journalism' and came up with nada."

 And, now, if you go to the Link, the site says only " You have reached a page that is currently unavailable.
 We apologize for any inconvenience. Please use your browser's BACK button to return to the previous page."
 I hope they keep changing the page. It's funny!
 

  Comments?

 Kerry Sees 'Disaster' for Middle Class

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Kerry accused Bush on Sunday of planning a surprise second-term attempt to
 privatize Social Security and forecast a "disaster for America's middle class."

 Little more than two weeks before Election Day, the latest polls made the campaign
 a close one, seemingly tilting Bush's way despite debates that bolstered Kerry"
 
 

 Comments?

 Michael Moore's Pre-Election TV Special Nixed
   Sinclair can run the 'Kerry Traitor' lies, but honest films are denied

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 The cable pay-per-view company iN DEMAND has backed away from a plan
 to show a three-hour election eve special with Michael Moore that included the
 first television showing of his documentary "Fahrenheit 9/11
 

  Comments?

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.....

 Quotes

"This election has become "a giant round of Bible Jeopardy."
  --Barry Lynn of Americans United for Separation of Church and State,    Attribution

 Subject: bin Laden - Mary Cheney

 Hey Bart,
 
 I e-mailed the Kerry campaign Monday and asked why no one had used the "I'm not that concerned"
 quote from Bush.  I even provided them a link.  I am not suggesting they used it because I told them too,
 but it helped me enjoy the fact they used it that much more.

     Now my real point.  You can just see the "liberal media" salivating over a chance to take down another
 democrat and get more tax cuts for the evil empires that own them.  I just e-mailed that twit Paula Zahn.
 For two days it has been Mary Cheney, Mary Cheney, Mary Cheney.  Damnit woman, get over it.

 This Mary Cheney crap is NOT an issue; it is not news.  Zahn keeps saying that this has made headlines
 and sparked outrage.  Headlines?  Yes. Outrage?  Bullshit.  The only reason this is making headlines is that
 Bush the dumber got his ass whooped in three debates, and now his corporate media cronies have to rescue him.

 As for outrage.  I don't know anyone who is outraged, or even cares, aside from conservative pundits (like that
 little insect Hannity).  I assume the Cheney's are outraged, which I guess is their right.  However, given the fact
 they have mentioned their gay daughter before this, all this righteous indignation has been overblown to the 100th
 power.  Also, anybody who was party to the McCain-black baby rumors in South Carolina in 2000 has no right
 getting morally upset about anything, ever.

     I told Zahn that I believe the real media screw up here is this:  you have focused solely on the Mary Cheney
 issue when the President LIED THROUGH HIS TEETH about Bin Laden.  Kerry accused Bush of saying he
 was "not all that concerned" about Bin Laden in 2002.  But at the debate Bush informs us he never said that,
 and that this is one of those "exaggerations."  Two seconds worth of research shows Bush not only said it, but
 Kerry's quote was not even taken out of context.  Bush lied about a man who killed 3000 Americans, but all
 Paula Zahn wants to cover is Mary Cheney.  I think if we asked the American people whether they are
"concerned with" Mary Cheney or Osama Bin Laden, the answer would overwhelmingly show no one gives
 a damn about Mary Cheney.  Nor should they.
     These media whores make me ill.

 Sorry Bart, I just needed to vent.
 A happy subscriber,
 Dave Myers
 

 Dave, Paula Zahn does that because she's not a journalist, she's a whore.

 Martha says "Hey"
  Everyone is nice, don't send money, support American Cancer Society instead

  Click  Here
 

 Radio Biz Looking Past Stern's Shocking News
  Can KBCR be far behind?

  Click  Here
 

 Problems Crop Up in Fla. Early Voting
  The cheating has already started - who's readt for this?

  Click  Here

 St Louis running 'Bartcop-style' ads

  Kerry: This Monkey said Osama was of no concern to him.

 Monkey: I never said that - it's another Kerry exaggeration.

 Monkey from 2002: Osama  (giggling & smirking at the camera)  is no concern of mine...
 

 Announcer: America, you gotta fire the Monkey
 
 

 So I'm wondering how Missouri Democrats ginned up the balls to say that,
 then the ads ends with, "Paid for my moveon.org."

 What?
 Why can't the Democrats run their own ads?
 Why does moveon.org have to save them?
 What is it about Democrats that makes them so afraid?

 Will the Democrats ever grow up and be able to defend themselves?
 They're like little old ladies who can't walk to the store without a moveon.org Boy Scout.

 Remind me: How did I get in a party of helpless old ladies?

 Trip report

 Friday night.
 The reception started at 7 and the booze was everywhere.
 I knew not to expect any fine tequila - who can afford fine tequila for a crowd?
 There was about 250 people, and there was a giant buzz in the air.

 Then the wedding party showed up - the men danced in wearing Cardinal baseball caps.
(Rumor has it the wedding party was drinking all afternoon.   I once could do that, too.)

 After some semi-embarrassing on-camera toasts, (Camcorders and alcohol make funny movies)
 they announced it was time to eat.  Prime Rib, Chicken Medabla, St Louis mostachouli (sp?)
 plus tons more good stuff.

 After the food there was lots of alcohol dancing by young and old alike.
 Something about St Louis Catholics - they never entirely grow up.
 Old people were dancing with children, toddlers were dancing with each other.
 I had a good time just watching the alcohol dancing.

 Then someone brought out an old chair and put it on the dance floor.
 I wondered what that was for, then they made the announcement:
 That was the chair the groom's mother was sitting in when her water broke 34 years ago.
 Hmmmmmmm...

 Then, without explanation, they asked everyone to grab their drink and get on the dance floor.
 Sensing this was something to which I wouldn't want to be a part of, we took that as an excuse
 to go outside with Dave and Freddie and pay homage to God's great work with flowers.
 Turns out it was just a group photo, but you can never tell about this gang.

 When we got back they were cutting/eating cake, which I got some of the next night
 at the Texas Hold 'em Poker Tournament. (I came in second.)

 Then they did the "Dollar dance" thing, the point of which escapes me.
 People stood in line with a dollar to dance with the bride or the groom.
 That seemed to be a time/value oddity because a young couple just starting out
 needs a helluva lot more money than a dollar - must be a really old custom.
 Seems like they should change that to the "$25 dollar dance."
 That was followed my lots more alcohol dancing.

 I drank very little - a beer at first, then I asked for a shot of whiskey from the open bar.
 They told me shots weren't allowed, which probably makes sense. There were a lot of
 drunk people and shots would probably just make things worse.

 By 11, it was all over.
 Four hours of drinking was enough to get the celebration celebrated.
 The bride & groom took off for Playa del Carmen, just south of Cancun, the next day.
 The groom assured me he'd be checking out the fine tequila.

 The next night we had Imo's Pizza at the Hold 'em game.
 Can't beat Chinaco, Imo's Pizza and poker with some fun friends and relatives.
 The only way it could've been better was if the Cardinals had won.

 Sidebar:
 My brother the priest did the wedding, of course. When he gives the sermon, he always
 brings the Cardinals into it. This time, be also brought in Everybody Loves Raymond,
 talking about that episode where Ray's Mom explains to Ray's wife that when you marry
 a man, you end up marrying "his whole crazy family."
 The bride didn't bolt, so that was a good thing.

   Comments?

 Voting for Kerry is a sin, Catholic bishop says
  ...but raping a child makes you holy?

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 In an interview with The Times's David Kirkpatrick, Archbishop Charles Chaput of Denver said a
 knowing vote for a candidate like Mr. Kerry who supports abortion rights or embryonic stem cell
 research would be a sin that would have to be confessed before receiving communion. "If you vote
 this way, are you cooperating in evil?" the archbishop asked. "Now, if you know you are cooperating
 in evil, should you go to confession? The answer is yes."

"Never before have so many bishops so explicitly warned Catholics so close to an election that to vote
 a certain way was to commit a sin," the Times article said.

 Subject: BCR Show 56

 Bart,
 I'm about to listen to BCR Show 56.  Dozens of listeners?
 Gotta be more than that, you're a hoot.
 I've always wanted to compliment your choice of music,  it's great.
 

 I'm a precinct captain for MoveOnPAC.org here in St. Lucie County, Florida.
 I canvassed my neighborhood today,  everyone (damn near) is "Strong Kerry".
 I had people tell me their entire republican family is voting for Kerry.
 Sure made me feel great hearing that.

 Anyway, I know I'll love the show,  I always do.
 
 (withheld)
 

  Comments?

 Jon Stewart's America
  Crossfire transcript from October 15, 2004

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 STEWART: How old are you?

 CARLSON: Thirty-five.

 STEWART: And you wear a bow tie.

 STEWART: You know, the interesting thing I have is, you have a responsibility to the public discourse, and you fail miserably.

 CARLSON: You need to get a job at a journalism school, I think.

 STEWART: You need to go to one. The thing that I want to say is, when you have people on for just knee-jerk, reactionary talk...

 CARLSON: Wait. I thought you were going to be funny. Come on. Be funny.

 STEWART: No. No. I'm not going to be your monkey.

 Subject: Bill O'Reilly

 Bart:

 I saw Andrea Mackris' photo at the Smoking Gun site.

....

 You know, if you aged her a little and put on a ton of make-up,
 she'd look just like Katy Harris, Jeb's former 'Secretary' of State.

 Is this separated at birth deal? Or maybe she's a relative?

 Hammer on,
 RSJ

 U.S. invaders seek medicine in mass prescription
  Canada worried that America will invade them for fake reasons

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 As U.S. troops amass along the Canada-U.S. border, and repeated inspections fail to turn up any WMDs
 in this country (everyone knows Canada hasn't produced a bomb of any magnitude since The Trouble With Tracy)
 it still appears inevitable that we're going to be invaded. Every time the Prime Minister says we don't have the
 weapons, it bolsters the U.S. case that we must be hiding them. I mean, what else would Paul Martin say if he
 had weapons and didn't want you to know it?

 The fact is, this conflict isn't really about weapons.
 It's about prescription drugs, and no matter how much the White House denies it, everyone knows it.
 

  Comments?

 Subject: O'Reilly's vibrator

 Keep hammering the ass.
 Don't forget paragraph 66 of the Makris lawsuit that alleges O'Reilly
 has his own vibrator "shaped like a cock with a little battery in it"

 How gay is that?
 a_r_k

 We Hold This Dirt to Be Self-Evident
  by sometimes Democrat Michael Kinsley

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 "Pick a sentence -- any sentence -- and see how it's done.

 President Bush: "My opponent, you see, wrote -- or he helped to write -- this document, this so-called
 Declaration of Independence. And in it, see, he says something about how we hold these truths to be self-evident.
 Now, self-evident is just a fancy word -- or actually it's two words:   Of course I know that! I can count! -- it's just
 a fancy way of saying you don't have to say anything because folks already know it.

 In other words, he's saying that you don't have to tell the truth. Well, I just happen to disagree with that. I think the
 truth is one of the most important things in our great country. The truth is American. And it's good. It's good to tell
 the truth. But my opponent disagrees with that. He thinks you don't need to tell the truth. And I happen to think
 that's wrong. It's a difference in philosophy, you see.'"

  Comments?

..

 Subject: Ignorant mothereffer

 Bart, you are without a doubt, the stupidest, most ignorant, dumbass,
 horse's ass, without-a-f-in' clue mothereffer on the 'net,

 You say, "Without a doubt?"
 I feel there is some doubt about that, but if you're sure....
 

 How the fuck can you spout the mindless idiocy that you spout, day after day after day?

 It's hard.
 It's hard work - everbody knows that.
 

 You do more harm to our party than any of the wet dream bullshit the pubbies can come up with.

 How could one fella with a modem hurt a party that lays down for the enemy?
 

 You disrepect our troops.

 You can't make a case for that just like you can't make case for any of this.
 If I had your potty mouth, I could scream nasty words at you, but would that make them true?
 If you had any valid points to make, you probably would have made them by now.
 I'm guessing you're a sad and lonely masturbator, like Bill O'Reilly.
 By the way, do you kiss your mother with that filthy mouth?
 

 You take every damn thing you can find with the least little bit of contentiousness and then magnify
 the silly shit for no other reason than to inflame the uneducated dummys that read your crap.

 Again, if you had a valid point, you would have included examples.
 Spouting nonsense makes me think you're a Piboy fan - did I guess right?
 

 And to actually print something that suggests that the killing of Bobby Kennedy was Bush's fault!
 Goddamn, how utterly fucking stupid!

 First, I would never blame The Monkey.
 His handlers, sure, but the Monkey can't make a PB&J without help.

 Now, are you suggesting Bobby killed himself or that his death was an accident?
 You are probably smarter than that.

 Most people believe he was murdered, and who would want to murder the probable next president?
 Are you suggesting Johnson had a motive to kill RFK?

 No, he had already made the decision to retire, so I'm afraid we have to look at the dead man's enemies
 to assign a motive, and who are those people?
 
 Republicans, that's who. Hidden, secretive Republicans who pull the puppet strings from the shadows.
 CIA-types, who have world domination on their agenda, and that makes me think of the shady Republicans
 who stole the election so they could start a fake war to control the world's energy supplies AND send a
 world-wide signal that America will invade, murder and occupy any foreign power the Monkey fabricates
 a case against - but you say that couldn't be the global crime network we call the Bush Family Evil Empire?

 I guess you're saying "Evil men would never stoop to murder to control the whole world."
 I disagree with that.
 

 You claim to be a liberal and hint that the 2d Amendment is a pipe dream of some misguided
 dipshits with Nazi tendencies, yet you keep a handgun available for your own use.
 Good for you, but not for me? Is this the way we do it?

 You invent a crazy position that's not my own, then assign it to me, then demand I defend it?
 I believe you may have fecal matter for brains, my son.
 I never said the Second Amendment was a pipe dream.
 I said pro-bazooka gun nuts need to be watched and defended against.
 

 You claim to be for the little man, but you praise the merits of drinking some goddamn paint
 thinner shit that comes from a foreign country and costs an abominable amount of money.
 Can you say "Elitist"?

 If you chose to drink Jose Cuervo, (which is not tequila) I wouldn't try to stop you.
 Like religion, I would not interfere with your right to do or think something crazy.
 That just leaves more of the good stuff for the people who know the difference.
 

 You claim a solidarity with the working man, yet brag constantly about going to Vegas to gamble.
 Whose fucking money you gambling with? Some of the working men I know couldn't even afford
 to buy a dollar lottery ticket.  Again, can you say: "Elitist"?

 I hate it when people refuse to answer a direct question - so yes, I can say "elitist."
 Odd that you'd wonder if I had that ability.

 Like fine tequila, I don't have a litmus test for readers that they must like Las Vegas.
 If you enjoy living in Jonesboro, Arkansas and have never been as far as Memphis, I'd think
 that was a shame but I wouldn't tease you about it.  


 Feel free to hate Vegas all you want.
 Again, that's fewer times we'll have to hear, "Sorry, we're all sold out."

 We regularly get free flights on Southwest Airlines. Right now we have 4, and we're using
 2 of those next week. Truth is, we get more free miles than Mrs Bart gets weeks off.
 If you had paid your bills on time (as you agreed in writing to do) you, too, would qualify
 for free airfare so I'm puzzled why you would resent my receiving their free rewards.
 Remember, your word is your bond, and your good name has value.

 I find Vegas a remarkably cheap vacation. When we went to New York in May, 2001,
 we paid $220 for a room smaller than Motel 6 offers. In Vegas, during the week, you can
 get a luxury suite big enough to play basketball in for a tiny fraction of that amount

 As far as gambling, you, the monkey with fecal matter for brains, probably gamble 30-50
 times a day but you probably don't realize it.   Odds are (there I go, gambling again) you're
 not very good at gambling.  What do you have against being rewarded for correctly
 out-guessing a plumber from Sioux City at a poker table?
 

 You're a two-faced butthole.

 You are a warm and caring man with a sharp brain and a heart of gold.
 See how easy it is to lie?
 

 Your claims that your readership and subscription rates are increasing are as big a damn lie...

 A more accurate claim would be, "You're always saying you're losing subscriptions..."
 Perhaps if you read the page, you'd be in a better position to characterize my writing.
 

 ...as the ones you told the poor gullible persons that used to buy your damned used cars.

 ha ha

 Shame on you.
 Leffler Bohanon
 

 Monkey, I found your attempt to insult me cute and entertaining, as I'm sure others have.
 Would you like to be a regular on  bartcop.com?

 Granted, it's not right to take advantage of those slower than me, but I can't help it.
 Monkey slapping helps pay my enormous gambling debts :)

 Send me your street address and I'll send you a postcard from Vegas with a banana on it.

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 Shrl, call  The BartPhone, just to say "Hi!"
 Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member - for free!

 You can call the Bart-Phone at 918-748-1714
 That would be really cool, and we'll catch you in Vegas at The Joint on your next American tour.

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