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In Today's Tequila Treehouse... Bush's 34 Scandals  Anti-Inaugural fever grows Planning to moon the Monkey?  Iraq seal borders for election  Fun with Inaugural Balloons Rice to Mend Ties With Allies Christian Racist Alert  Inaugural Balloon Alert  Another Democratic Cave In  Quote of the Day "It's important for people to know    that I'm the president of everybody."        --Dubya,  delusions of godhood,   Attribution

Support Bartcop.com PO Box 54466 , Tulsa, OK 74155PayPal to bartcop@bartcop.com

 Quotes

"We may be a stingy, greedy nation, at the very bottom of the list of Western nations in terms of
  aid we offer poor nations, and we may have a corrupt government, that is attempting, dishonestly,
  to destroy our most significant anti-poverty program with lies, but at least we don't allow accused
  homosexuals to translate Arabic messages to save the lives of our soldiers or prevent terrorist
  attacks and we are doing a better and better job of protecting the country from seeing naked
  breasts on ancient statues.  And cartoon baby butts on TV."
        --Eric Alterman, Altercation,    Attribution

 Comments?

 Bush's 34 Scandals - all worse than Whitewater
   as seen on salon.com

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 25. Ground Zero's Unsafe Air

 The scandal: Government officials publicly minimized the health risks stemming from the World Trade Center attack.
 In September 2001, for example, Environmental Protection Agency head Christine Todd Whitman said New York's
 "air is safe to breathe and [the] water is safe to drink."

 The problem: Research showed serious dangers or was incomplete. The EPA used outdated techniques that failed to
 detect tiny asbestos particles. EPA data also showed high levels of lead and benzene, which causes cancer. A Sierra Club
 report claims the government ignored alarming data. A GAO report says no adequate study of 9/11's health effects has been organized.

 The outcome: The long-term health effects of the disaster will likely not be apparent for years or decades and may never
 be definitively known. Already, hundreds of 9/11 rescue workers have quit their jobs because of acute illnesses.
 

 They never mention the $100M a day Bush is stealing from Iraq.
 If there's an innocent explanation for who's really getting that $100M,
 why doesn't somebody say what it is so I can stop talking about it?

 Note:  Do not let them tell you,"The oil's not pumping - too much terrorism."
 The oil fields, the connecting pipelines and the Oil Ministry is ALL that was guarded from Day One.

 Comments?

 Iraq to Seal Borders During Election

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 After twenty two months of allowing every religiously insane, suicidal handjob to enter the
 unstable country we invaded to blow up American soldiers, the highly-intelligent US military
 has finally decided to close the borders to make Bush's sham election "safer."

 I've never been to war and I don't know Bush about battlefield tactics, but with all our
 satellites and "Thor's hammer" flying drones, why have we been letting terrorists into the
 country by the thousands to strap on some C4 and blow our boys up?

 Are our satellites too busy searching for oil?

 Comments?

 Subject: inappropriate love

 If I was in the military, faced with deployment to Iraq I would
 blow any guy I could find and shout "I'm gay" to anybody that would listen.

 Having a conscience and not wanting to kill for oil doesn't seem to cut it but one little act
 of public fellatio and one could be home watching TV, drinking beer and eating pizza.

 Spread the word, you can save yourself and make a friend happy at the same time.

 Jay
 Vancouver
 

(address withheld to avoid a stampede)

 Comments?

 Planning to moon the Giggling Murderer?

  http://www.carintech.com/mr/moon.html
 

 Personally, I'm against this.

I've never mooned anybody in my life.

These Nazi bartards have arrested people for failing to bow for His Highness.
    Koresh knows what they'd arrest you for if you mooned the Monkey
    Knowing these reactionary huns like I do, they'll probably arrested people
    for suspicion of child rape if they see Monkey getting mooned.

 Comments?

 Rice Pledges to Mend Ties With Allies
  She's sorry for her worldwide, "Up yours, nigger!"

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Little Miss Better-then-you, pledged Tuesday to work to mend and strengthen ties with the allies who
 she told to "F-off" during the invasion of Iraq. "The time for diplomacy is now," she protested,
 as tho manners were seasonal.  She told rubber-stamp democrats at her confirmation hearing to replace
 Colin Powell, the notorious, worldwide liar who gave Bush cover to invade and murder the 100,000.

 Asked by Senator Joe Biden (D-Weak, Stupid) why she should be trusted now, after breaking
 her word on so many prior occasions, Rice shot back, "Because I said so, you ass!"
 Biden then wet his pants and left the rooms to change, visibly shaken.

 Comments?

 Subject: Evolution Suit

 I thought you might like to know that Plaintiff's counsel in the
 Cobb County, Georgia evolution suit see Vol 1478  is a long time bartcop reader.
 I wouldn't miss an issue.

 Thank you for the work you do.

 Michael Manely, Attorney
 The Manely Firm, P.C.
 www.themanelyfirm.com
 

 Mike, that's cool, and thanks for telling me.
 You never know when I might need a good GA. attorney :)

 Give 'em hell, and thanks for being on the side of good.

 Comments?

 Quotes

"I hope we can solve it diplomatically, but I will never take any option
  off the table if it continues to stonewall the international community
  about the existence of its nuclear weapons program."
      --Dubya, crying wolf again - this time about Iran    Attribution
 

 Comments?

 Subject: Joe Biden

 Bart,

 I read your page all the time, and agree with you most of the time.
 But if I know Joe Biden is going to be on Meet the Press, MSNBC, CNN ,
 or whatever show it may be, I watch.  He is the only one who tells it like it is.

 My interpretation is he doesn't like Bush's fricken policies any more than you or me.
 The only thing I have ever heard him say, is that he hopes that the elections in Iraq are a success.
 That is because his SON is in the military .
 He is probably the only U.S. senator who has a son in the military.

 I'm sure he will be kept out of harms way, but I would protect my son if I had the power too.
 I think you need to watch Mr. Biden more often before making ludicrous accusations.
 He is more of a man than any of those pink tu tu wearing pussies put together!
 ( Biden for President! )

 Scott
 

 Scott, sometimes we at  bartcop.com  air even the most divergent points of view.
 I'll say my goodbyes now, (Bye, Dude!) because you're really, really, really, really
 not going to like editorial at the very end of this issue.

 I didn't write it to piss you off or to piss anybody off,
 but I heard it with my own ears and it made me wanna hurl - BIG time.

 Comments?

 From: Donald Wildmon (R-Your Beeswax)

 Subject: Christian Wacko Racist Alert

 Dear Bart,

 In November 2004, the FCC cut a backroom deal with CBS and its parent company Viacom.

 In summary, Viacom agreed to donate a paltry ($3.5 million to the FCC) in exchange for dropping
 thousands of indecency complaints filed against it by taxpaying consumers. (Click here for more)

 Basically, the FCC cut a deal with CBS. What was the result?
 CBS immediately went back to their standard fare of lewd and indecency programs.

 Because of these kinds of backdoor deals, the FCC continues to allow networks like
 CBS to flood the airwaves with indecency.

 On December 31, 2004, CBS re-aired an episode of Without A Trace, complete with an extended
 teen-age orgy scene. The original broadcast of this episode had thousands of FCC complaints against it,
 which were tossed out in the November FCC/CBS "back-scratching" deal.

 Click  Here  to view the abominable Without A Trace scene for yourself!
 Be warned, it contains offensive and graphic scenes.

 Sincerely,
 Donald E. Wildmon, Founder and Chairman of "We Know What's Best"
 

 Yeah, it's got some fleeting glimpes of a pretend "orgy," but what has them uipset
 is a half-second shot of a white girl kissing ...(gasp) "one of them!"

 No wonder the Whites Only American Family Association is upset!
 A white girl kissing a great-great-great grandson of a slave?
 How will the Republic survive with this awful race mixing going on?

 That's all they have to do - from day to day - is watch the networks (except FOX)
 and write snippy letters to Mikey Powell about how they decided to spend their day.

 Comments?

 Subject: Bart told a lie

 Cheney and Enron dividing up oil fields before 9/11??? HORSE SHIT(using your own words).

 Sincerely,
 keepstrong
 

 Larry Klayman sued the White House and/or FOIA and got the maps that Cheney used
 to divvy up the Iraq oils fields.   This is why Cheney is fighting so hard to keep secret who
 was at those energy task force meeting and what was said - but the maps were there along
 with Enron and the other crooks.

 What can I say if you don't know the facts?

 Comments?

 Quotes

"I don't know where your sensitivity is.
  I don't know what you're doing lazing around on a day like this.
  We're at war over there and here we're taking all this time off to
  honor Martin Luther King. I don't know. I don't understand it."
        --Rush (I Hate Niggers) Limbaugh

 Comments?

 Subject: Challenge

 Bart,
 It pains me to listen to your radio show and hear you be soooooo wrong on torture.
 I'd like to try and straighten you out via debate.

 ha ha
 I like the sound of that!
 

 I've listened to most of your radio career and read the page pretty much everyday,
 I think if I can turn you around on this issue you will reach a state of 100% correctness.
 You're right just about everytime, and have shown me the light on several issues, I'd just like to return the favor.

 To make it a little more interesting, my brother is almost finished with his Phd in political ethics
 at Oxford (Big Dog's alma mater).  He'll be home for spring break and would also like to help
 with your education.  It would be a nice notch on your belt to say you beat an Oxford ethics Phd in an ethics debate.

 Are you up for the challenge?

 Tim
 

 Tim, you know me - I'm always looking for a good tangle, but...
 I can't imagine we'd have anything to debate.

 Maybe a yes-no answer to a simple question will help:
 Is it always inexcusable, with no exceptions, and in all cases, to torture a certainly guilty man?

 If you say, "yes," we have a debate, but I'm afraid even your brother wouldn't be able to help you.
 If you say, "no," then you agree with me, in which case we have nothing to debate.

 I'm not trying to be a dillhole, I'm just pointing out that I'm certainly anti-torture in almost every case,
 but on that super-rare occasion when torture might save 50,000 or 30 million American lives, my vote
 would be to save the 30 million Americans and I'd hate to hear you argue against saving them.

 Sidebar:  Tim is my good friend, and I certainly mean no attack, cause he's a good guy.

 Comments?

 Subject: the normalization of horror

 I vote Democratic. I belong to a building trades union. I live in MA.
 What else can I say? I guess I'm a liberal.

 I find fault with your idea of these torturers in gitmo, Abu, etc.
 Don't you realize that we are in a war?
 What's the saying?... All's fair in love and war?

 These prisoners are non uniformed combatants, terrorists.  Too bad if they waterboard them, etc.
 Worry more about getting ourselves out of the mess in the middle east, social security, and immigration.
 Fuck those raggedy  towelheads.
 Mike
 

 These last two letters are so telling!
 Tim is to my left on this, and Mike is to my right.
 Put another way, Tim says I'm too conservative, Mike says I'm too liberal.

 As always, I'm the sensible center.

 Comments?

 David B in Canada - thanks for subscribing, but when I sent your login and PW, the e-mail bounced.

 Subject: an idea

 I don't think they will let any protesters near Bush.
 I think you need to disguise yourselves as pro Bush.

 Have a pro Bush sign that can be slipped down to show your anti-bush sign at the appropriate time.
 Make it slick so it is not extremely noticeable and will pass the inspection you are sure to get.

 Wear layers of shirts to remove the pro Bush and show the anti Bush.
 I mean, come on, we have to use logic here.

 You are not going to make in near where you want to be if we are flagrant about being anti-Bush.
 Be stealth and slip in THEN and only then show you are anti-Bush.
 I wish I could be out there.
 Good Luck!!

 Sue M   PROUD TO BE BLUE!!
 Even a Blue State
 Washington!

 Comments?

 Subject: the Gay bomb

 If they HAD decided to implement their proposed "GAY BOMB" technology,
 we'd be watching Bush, Rove and the rest of the Homophobe-Hawks fumbling to explain
 why the world's lone Super-Power is getting its asses kicked by a bunch of dirt-poor GAY dudes.

 Gene
 Champlin, MN
 

 ...or, ...what if the wind shifted and our soldiers became "too gay" to fight?

 Comments?

 Quotes

"Some say I should have negotiated with [Yasser] Arafat for
  the four years I was president -- obviously, prior to his death."
       --Dubya,  too stupid to pass third grade   Attribution

 Subject: Ballerinas -- Comment from my 14-year-old

 My 14-year-old aspiring ballerina just came home from ballet class and took offense to your depiction of ballet dancers.

"Hey, you try to dance on pointe!" she yelled at the screen.  (She's right, you know.)

(She dances 20 hours a week -- and is auditioning this season for summer programs for the following:
 Boston Ballet Company; Juilliard; NYC Ballet Company; and PA Ballet Company).
 It was a little difficult to explain to her that you weren't really taking a shot at ballerinas. :)

 Care to give it a shot?  Her name is Taylor.

 Best,
 Lisa
 
 

 Taylor, it's very easy to explain.
 I'll bet you look great in your pink tutu, but a 70 year old rubber stamp from Vermont looks silly in one.

..

 Comments?

 Special Report on Inaugural Balloons
   brought to you by  buckfush.com

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Remember, a full balloon will pop sooner, so there will be no problem with it drifting very far.
 A balloon not filled all the way will expand as it rises and will float a great distance.
 Be careful about this, most people think the opposite.

 Hopefully, enough people in the Washington area will take this advice and there will be no problems
 in the skies over the Inauguration.  After all, you wouldn't want the President's speech drowned out
 by the sounds of interceptor jets, would you?
 

 ha ha

 Comments?

 Quotes

"I voted for Bush. I think the economy is picking up,
  and the nation is in pretty good shape."
      --E.J. Lamirande, 47, New Jersey,      Atttribution
 

"I love Bush. I voted for him.  I'm very pleased with him and his policies.
  I think we went to Iraq for the right reasons."
      --Kathleen Carr, 41, New Jersey,      Atttribution
 

 "I like mashing my finger in the car door."
     -- BartCop, wondering what makes people say crazy things
 

 Comments?

 Feedback from BCR #65

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 What Randy Moss did was tasteless and crude but I understand the following from
 attending past Packer-Viking games and that is Randy almost certainly put up with
 hateful fans shouting insults that go far above normal booing and catcalls.

 The same goes on most places.
 A superstar player is a target of abuse.
 Favre gets the treatment anywhere the Packers go.

 Tom Go
 

 On FOX, JB was backpedaling like a Lance Armstrong tape in reverse agreeing with you,
 but then he added another bogus charge, that Moss "wiped his ass" on the Green Bay goal post

 To the eyes of someone with no racial animosity towards Randy Moss, it looked like a guy
 on the dance floor at some nightclub giving some girl "the bump," not wiping his damn ass.
 But if Rupert Murdoch tells his black announcers to tie a slave to a tree, they will.

 Y'know, I wouldn't mind if seven announcers had seven different opinions.
 But when they all chime in like they're reading from a Rove fax - I don't call that "commentary."
 I call that being a whore, and if you're black, that makes you (...dare I say it?)

 ...another Clarence Thomas.

 Comments?

 While riding around looking at possible living quarters Tuesday, I heard AAR's coverage
 of the Democratic Cave In on the "grilling" of Killa Sleazy Rice.

 I felt like doing this rant on radio, but I'm afraid my temper would have me screaming
 "mother-effer" at your personal heroes, John Kerry and Joe Biden, so my survival angels
 told me I'd better do this in print so there'd be fewer cancellations.

 Kerry and Biden acted like two high school kids who got to interview the prom queen.
 They acted like love-struck puppies and it made me fucking sick.
 Did their wives let them into bed last night after that disgusting performance?

 Imagine me, tongue-tied, trying to interview Shirley Manson.
 That's how pathetic these sons of bitches were in the "grilling" of Killa Sleazy Rice.

 Kerry guaranteed her that she'd be confirmed.
 John, I get phyisically sick when I remember that I voted for you.
 You sell-out bastard, how fucking dare you do this to us?

..
  "We serve at the pleasure of the President. We love him!"

 What was your entire campaign about, John?
 Why is it YOUR duty to suck ass with the enemy?
 Why is it YOUR duty to let Killa Sleazt Rice know she's a shoe-in?

 Is she a shoe-in because only 1400 men have died so far?
 If  14,000 men had died for Halliburton, would Killa still be a shoe-in?
 How about 44,000  John - or is there no number that's too high?

 What about the soon-to-be 1400 dead soldiers, John?
 Will you send the families of the dead soldiers video of you fawning over Killa Sleazy?
 Why were you flirting with her, John?
 Last I heard, you were a married man - remember Teresa?

 Does John Kerry even have a political future?
 I think he's so flawed, and so painted as a wimped-out, loves Bush loser that
 even Massachusetts wouldn't want his yellow-streaked ass back.

 Click  Here   if you're from Massachusetts and plan to vote for Kerry ever again.

 And Biden was even worse, if that's possible.
 Even the normally staid AAR gals were saying "Biden has launched a search for
 his testicles - they MUST be somewhere here in the floor of the conference room."

 Joe Biden was a giggling little shit, asking Killa Rice of she knew that some high school
 football team from Delaware (his home state) won some damn football title.

 Hey asshole,

 we've lost the right to vote,
 we've lost the Clinton surplus,
 we're losing a war in Iraq and
 the bastards are killing Social Security
 and you're playing football footsy with Killa Sleazy Rice?

 Son of a bitch, I'm going fucking crazy watching my party getting worse by the week.

 These self-important, horny school boys take their job less seriously than I do,
 and I'm a tequila-drinking, treehouse-hosting comedian on the f-ing internet!

 If this was any other game besides the future of our country,
 I would've given up a looooooooooong time ago - but we just can't quit.

 Somehow, the guys on our team are playing for THEIR team.
 Each time our team hikes the ball, Kerry and Biden turn around and tackle our quarterback.

 It's a good thing for them that Ol' Bart has very, very little power, because
 I'd be tempted to go "all in" on forcing Kerry, Biden and Leahy from their senate seats

 Swear to Koresh, we could get more out of Pauly Shore and Pee Wee f-ing Herman.
 Biden and Kerry and Leahy are nothing but rubber-stamp clowns for Bush.

 It makes me fucking sick...

 We can't get any worse than these two - and to think I voted for Kerry?
 Excuse me, I have to go wash the hand I used to pull the Kerry lever.

 Comments?
 
 

..

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..
                                                           Shirley Manson of Garbage

 Shrl, call  The BartPhone, just to say "Hi!"
 Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member - for free!

 You can call the Bart-Phone at 918-748-1714
 That would be really cool, and we'll catch you in Vegas at The Joint on your next American tour.

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