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Quote of the Day "We had our Hitler, now you have yours." The Jews have a saying, "Never
again," so why do
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Volume 1502 - America's Hitler
Thursday Feb 24, 2005 Mike Malloy - 10 EST Weeknights on AAR
Quotes
"We are a nation that is unenlightened because
of religion.
I think religion stops people from thinking.
I think it justified crazies.
I think flying planes into a building was a
faith-based initiative.
I think religion is a neurological disorder."
--Bill Maher, fired from ABC for telling
the truth Attribution
Only
one question each:
Europe's
leaders are given instructions in Monkey talk
Excerpt:
As the leader of the free world George
Bush is known to be a busy man. There have also
been question-marks in the past over his attention
span and dislike of protracted debate,
but, even by the standards of the Bush White House,
the assembled heads of Europe will be
given short shrift tomorrow when they gather to
address America's most stupid Monkey.
When 25 elected heads of state assemble
tomorrow in the Justus Lipsius building,
which houses the Council of Ministers, eleven of
them have been chosen to address Bush
on an international matter of importance, they
will be allocated a minimal amount of time
the betting is five minutes each..
The Monkey is too stupid to engage in adult
conversation and he's incapable of explaining his crimes,
so they limit comments to five minutes (and one
topic) each so the Monkey can say, "I appreciate
your concerns," then
move on to the next insulted guest as tho a conversation was taking place.
The whole world knows he's a braindead Monkey,
and they can't believe Americans would let
this incompetent loser/invader/mass murderer run
the planet for another four years.
Soldiers shocked by pupils' letters
Excerpt:
One of the letters from the 11- to 12-year-old
pupils, stamped with a smiley face, asked:
"Have you seen how many civilians you or some other soldier
killed?"
Another read: "I feel that you are being
forced to kill innocent people. Iraq never attacked us,
if Bush cared so much about this country then we
would be out there trying to find bin Laden.
Bush calls this war the war on terrorism. What
terrorism? Name one terrorist from Iraq ... I know I can't."
A Muslim boy wrote: "I know you're trying
to save our country and kill the terrorists
but you are also destroying holy places like mosques."
Another asked: "By the way, when you shoot
someone, is it great or horrible?"
I guess we can't blame the kids, but why
did the teacher let these go out?
Some poor soldier in Iraq who misses his family,
who's been shot at and mortared
every day for a year, doesn't need to be told he's
killing innocent people over there.
When those soldiers come home, they're going to need help.
Quotes
"Thank God Michael Jackson never became a priest."
-
Grant Gerver, as seen at allhatnocattle.net
..
"I don't
get it...
What's
wrong with sexing little boys?"
4wk
From now until
the end of February
I will double your order.
Order 1 get 1 free,
order 5 get 5 free, etc.
Subject: blowing one's head off
Bart, having been elected to clean up after
a friend's death, with the shotgun in the mouth routine,
I have no sympathy for what ever drove HST to do
the deed and leave no note.
If the fucker wanted out, he could have
driven over a cliff
or taken his sure to be enormous stash of meds...
Could there be such a thing as gonzo death?
Volvoguy
I, too, am not comfortable with the "he went out in style" rhetoric
some have expressed.
It seems to me that barring some severe medical condition, there are few
good reasons
to kill yourself and NO good reasons to do it in a super-bloody way.
And leaving a note always makes sense, because so many questions come up.
...and
remember, I'm a TOP!
It's not gay
when I'm on top.
Gonzo
journalist's gone
by Irish Danny Sweeney
And finally, a big tip of the 40 to Dr.
Hunter S. Thompson, who finally succumbed this past weekend
to the bad case of terminal weirdness that had
plagued him, apparently since birth. While Internet
rumors fly about George W. Bush having the good
doctor whacked, I'll stick with the suicide explanation;
though it failed to make any of the obits, I have
it on good account that Thompson's son, Juan, was in
the next room when he heard the gun go off.
Thompson once said, "I hate to advocate
drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone, but they've
always worked for me." Well said. And they worked
for him right up to his dying day. Those of us
who write in the first-person, subjective style
known as new journalism owe him a staggering debt
of gratitude, which we will pay back to his estate,
just as soon as the expense checks clear.
Subject: Sandra Dee
You got it right, Bart.
I was a 13-year-old gay teenager in 1960
and went to the movies
at least once a week in the little town of Nevada,
Missouri.
And boy, did I EVER lust after Troy Donahue!
Regards,
David
ha ha
'Gannon's
'outing' ignored by 'liberal media''
by Gene Lyons
Excerpt:
Citizens, it's finally happened. An alleged
former male prostitute has been unmasked among the
White House press corps. If this comes as a surprise,
don't blame liberal media bias. For once,
there's a Washington sex scandal our fastidious "mainstream" press
mostly wishes to avoid.
Why? Good question.
"Gannon" was granted day passes to White
House press briefings and news conferences,
where he routinely lobbed softball questions to
Scott McClellan.
What does the affair tell us about White House security amid the "war on terror"?
Shallow
Throat
Reports from the Slimy Bush World
Excerpt:
We met in an obscure diner in Rockville,
Md. I could tell Shallow Throat was in bad shape,
since my conservative informant looked pale and
depressed and was back to wearing a wig and wraparound shades.
"I can't describe to you, Bernie, what the atmosphere
is like inside the Administration," said a nervous-sounding ST.
"Publicly, they are taking their electoral 'victory'
as confirmation that they don't have to give an inch, to anyone.
It's full speed ahead domestically and abroad.
But privately, they are well aware of how tenuous the situation could
become for them in some areas, which is why they
are coming out of the chute with such full-bore speed and determination.
(Observe how they are trying to keep anyone from
getting to the truth of that electoral 'victory,' especially in Ohio.)
"They realize that, as is often the case for 're-elected'
administrations, there is only a brief window of opportunity in
the second term to get things done. So, it's tort
and Social Security 'reform' and more Patriot Act laws domestically,
and in foreign policy it's on to getting their
way with Syria and Iran."
Subject: Jesus, High Tide, Full Moon and You
My mother who once swore she saw Jesus Christ
walking across the Damariscotta River on a
particular Diamonds on the Water sunshiney late
morning early gin and tonic lunch hour liked Hunter S.
I did too.
Fuck.
From the Berkshire grass smoking late seventies
to the acid dropping Montana eighties to the peyote filled
Grand Canyon journey culmminating on a one day
hike out to Angel's Landing the day Ronald Ray-Gun
was shot to the many bourbon, beer Bacardi-and-tonic
days that followed, I kinda loved the crazed Lono too.
I'd surely slug ANY asshole who tells me
anything, ANYTHING about Hunter not being a voice in the wilderness,
a rock against the plate glass window of society,
a belch and fart in the church of your parents or a flapping bat in the dusk
of the desert.
Thats it.
If I ever had a reason to burn a candle in the
middle to see which end melts off first it is now..........
On the high tide I will slip the lines of
CHAZ 1 and run her engine hell for high water down
the damn Damariscotta looking for Jesus and you,
Hunter. And you.
Graham in Maine
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Quotes
"For certain members of the Bush family the
war in Iraq has been very profitable.
Just ask William H.T. Bush, or, as President
George W. Bush calls him, Uncle Bucky.
Bucky Bush just made a cool $450,000 in war
profits from Iraq through ESSI.
Bucky, who sits on the company's board, cashed
out a half-million of the company's
stock options last month. ESSI's stock prices
skyrocketed "to record heights" with
Uncle Bucky's nephew's decision to invade Iraq."
--Think
Progress Team, "Paying
Uncle Bucky",
The BFEE is stealing $100M a day and has been for almost 700 days
now.
They stole $11 trillion from the Treasury and trillions more in Iraq,
so let's not spend a lot of time chasing this popcorn thief, "Bucky."
However, if Roger Clinton had made $200 from his brother's presidency,
the sons of bitches would stop the government to put him on trial
for treason.
Sidebar: Do you wonder, like I do, why nobody else
ever mentions Bush's $100M a
day?
Subject: Hunter S. Thompson, Clinton and Gay Americans
Hunter S. Thompson had a clear idea of his
place in the universe. I don't think he was bigoted, even though
he seemed to have low opinions of many people. He
just seems to have tried to cut through the crap and
find the truth. He wasn't someone out to "bash" anyone. Instead,
if someone who was gay, or the president
of the United States, did something he felt was
stupid Thompson would find suitable colorful analogies that
shamed the individual by its irony and humor.
Hey, I'm a gay man, and I learned a lot
about realms that I had no way of experiencing first hand. No
way would
you find me hanging out with members of the Hells
Angels Motorcycle Club, for instance. Yet HST's book about
the Hells Angels revealed to me a group of men
from the dark side of life, yet they were presented as men, not as
dangerous mythical creatures. He bravely
revealed their humanity, and I understood them enough to get to know them.
As a result, I am friends with many Angels, am
respected, and I have even met Ralph "Sonny" Barger on several occasions.
Yes, the Hells Angels are not a boy scout troop,
but they aren't devils either. I respect and love their way of living,
and I have ridden with them on numerous occasions. Without
HST I would have remained fearful and hateful as
many of my friends are today.
Because of HST I have come to understand
that even those icons who I respect in many ways have their weaknesses.
I saw the good side of Bill Clinton, but I have
to agree that HST revealed chinks in his armor. Hunter's descriptions
of George W. Bush were full of insight. He
responded as I responded, but I couldn't find the words to express the
loathing I have for Dubya.
Say what you want, Hunter S. Thompson was
the real deal. He had courage, honesty, and talent. His
point of view
helped me to see life a little clearer. His
talent with irony revealed to me the insanity of our world. He didn't
pull punches,
and madman that he was, he did skeet-shoot golf
balls on golf courses. My friends think I'm nuts, but I will never
disown my high respect for Hunter S. Thompson.
Nelly Fae
Quotes
"When John F. Kennedy came to Germany he drove
through cheering crowds.
Now Bush is here and will drive through empty
streets."
--
Mark Reichelt, 20, a student, reminding us that Bush is hated all over the
world, Attribution
Subject: AARP's take on Social Security
If the US has $1-3 trillion to burn on the
SSA privitization plan,
why don't we just plunk it into the trust fund
and be solvent for even longer?
Just asking
Deb
Deb, because saving Social Security isn't the goal.
The goal is how many hundreds of billions more can the BFEE steal.
Ah, I love the naivete of youth...
Bush
Keeps Dodging As Addicts Rot in Jail
by Joe Conason
Excerpt:
...if Bush could drink too much, smoke
those forbidden herbs and perhaps even snort illegal
powders, and nevertheless become a baseball magnate
and successful politician, then "some
little kid" might reasonably assume that he or
she could sin likewise without undue risk.
Any such assumption would be terribly mistaken,
of course, unless the kid happened to belong
to a wealthy and well-connected family like the
Bush clan. Prisons and jails across the country
are crowded with nonviolent drug offenders whose
lives have been ruined÷and whose families
have been damaged or destroyed÷by the same
punitive legal system that never touched young
"Georgie," except to issue him a drunk-driving
summons.
The poor and the black are incarcerated
for using pot and coke, while the rich and the white lie
to their kids (and occasionally to the voters)
about those same transgressions. [Bush's}niece
Noelle Bush went through a drug-rehabilitation
program and was released two years ago.
His friend Rush Limbaugh went through rehab and
has returned to berating the less fortunate
on the radio, without doing one day of time.
Quotes
"I have very little trust in the senior leadership
of this country.
They lied about WMDs. They assured (us)
the Iraqis would just
transform into Arab-Americans with a new outlook
on their own country. ..
I miss Janet very much. I hope that our time
here is shortened."
-- Sgt. Gregory Pennington, killed by Bush's oil greed Attribution
Why did Greg join up?
Was he a crazed killer who wanted to torture somebody?
"There just weren't that many jobs around here," says
Janet, his widow.
When Clinton was president, men didn't have to risk their lives
to support their family.
Clinton's economy was so strong, men quit the military to take advantage
of it,
so the Republican whores of talk radio said "Clinton
is decimating the military."
I guess in some ways that was true, but with Clinton, they were still alive.
Marty's Entertainment Page
Did
Bush have 'homo sex' with Jeff Gannon?
Remember, they impeached Clinton for lying about sex
..
Excerpt:
In 1998, Bill Clinton was impeached because
of these 10 words:
"I did not have sexual relations with that woman,
Monica Lewinsky."
In 2003, New Jersey Gov. Jim McGreevey was forced to resign over a secret gay affair.
So what about George Bush and this man James
Guckert (a.k.a. Jeff Gannon)
- a $200/hour gay male prostitute? Sooner
or later, Washington will have to ask:
Did George W. Bush Have Homo Sex with That Man,
James Guckert?
Tarantino
to direct C.S.I. season ender
"Kill Gil" to air May 19th, the day before Pokerfest Maui
Excerpt:
"He knows everything there is to know about 'CSI,'
and he is into the whole mythology of 'CSI,"'
exec producer Carol Mendelsohn said. "Quentin came
in for a story meeting with the writers.
He had a great idea, and it was so much fun to
have him in the room. . . . We are positively giddy."
Quotes
"Now that I've raped Iraq and killed 100,000,
it's over with and now
it is time to unify for the sake of peace.
The key now is to put that
behind us and to focus on helping the new democracy
succeed."
--Dubya,
if he had an ounce of honesty in his crooked brain Attribution
..
"What
is this word - honesty - you speak of?"
We've got truthful books by honest authors.
Synthetic
Pot Could Slow Alzheimer's
Prepare for an avalanche of government lies
Excerpt:
By suppressing inflammation in the brain,
a synthetic marijuana compound
could offer some protection against Alzheimer's,
Spanish scientists report.
The researchers, who studied the brain tissue
of deceased Alzheimer's patients,
discovered that many of these patients lose the
function of important cannabinoid
brain receptors, which seem to guard against
cognitive decline.
They further discovered in a rat study involving
synthetic marijuana that when these
brain receptors were working, they reduced Alzheimer's
brain inflammation.
These sons of bitches...
You just know that real pot works better
than their handjob synthetic, but whitey
can't make any money if you can grow the cure in
your backyard. So they'll allow
Pfizer to sell the inferior synthetic cure while
jailing those who want superior relief.
Why does every decision involving drugs
have to be illogical?
If you have Alzheimer's or cancer or glaucoma or
some other severe medical problem
that pot can help make tolerable, why does the
federal government have to get involved?
Republicans do NOT want less government.
They want to force their superstitions
on everybody at gunpoint.
Subject: HST-Clinton-Swaggart story
Hey Bart,
Love the page. I read it every day
over lunch.
My impression of the "double date" quote
is that HST thought Swaggart and Clinton
might be well-suited to go a'whorin' together,
as it were. Looking for women. And that has the ring of truth.
I don't get the impression that HST meant
to imply that Clinton and Swaggart would be well-suited to dating each
other.
So the comment about HST not liking gays, at least
in this context, doesn't work for me. Am I out to lunch on that?
MP
MP, no, I just wrote that poorly. I knew he meant a foursome.
The "faggots" quote came after that, but it was already in my head
when
I made the observation that HST seemed to be no friend to gays or Bill
Clinton.
I'm pretty sure everyone on the planet knew Clinton had an eye
for the ladies,
so for HST to bring that up, he must've just wanted to cause the Democrats
some grief.
That's OK, we're all entitled to an opinion, but one man getting
a little tongue and another
man killing 1500 soldiers just to steal some oil aren't equal "crimes" in
my book.
His comments seemed "unnecessary" to me.
HST's Ashes May Be Shot From Cannon
Excerpt:
Hunter S. Thompson might have one more
salvo in store for everyone:
friends and relatives want to blast his ashes out
of a cannon, just as he wished.
"If that's what he wanted, we'll see if we can
pull it off," said historian Douglas Brinkley,
a friend of Thompson's and now the family's spokesman.
If the Thompson job were his, Williams said,
he would probably blast the ashes from a
30.5-centimetre-diameter mortar 240 metres into
the sky. Then a second, window-rattling
blast would scatter them amid a blossom of colour
180 metres across.
"If you were going to light up a flash-bomb worthy
of Hunter S. Thompson,
you'd want to make it an earth-shaker," Williams
said.
The subject was torture...
What causes people to run from logic when certain subjects come up?
Because I wanted to answer my good friend Jim last issue, I stupidly
opened this
torture subject again, a subject that makes people disregard facts and
lose their minds.
I got a half-ton of mail, and very little of it made any sense.
I sure wish I had a dime for every time someone told me "Torture
doesn't work, and you know it!"
That's just about the most illogical statement I can think of right now.
Nobody wants the pain to stop?
Everybody can tell pain, "I
choose to ignore you - to trick my torturer."
Like with HST and Clinton, I don't mind people having diverse
opinions, but stop
trying to turn what you believe into a cold, medical fact that *Bart
knows* is true.
If nothing else, would you at least admit the Pentagon believes
torture works?
Between Vietnam and Desert Storm, they changed the rules. They now
say,
"If they start torturing you, give up whatever information
you have to stay alive
because they'll get the info from you eventually
so you might as well save yourself
the days/weeks/months of pain."
Again - just to be clear - you don't have to agree with me,
you don't have to agree with the Pentagon, either. Just
agree that
the Pentagon changed the rules because THEY say torture works.
This, "Bart, why do you love torture?" talk
from usually sane friends is illogical.
People force themselves to "read between the lines" when I write
and discern my
"real meaning" that torture is the Commandment that guides Bart's very
soul.
Is it impossible to have an adult conversation with some people?
Do we have to add torture to the list of subjects we can't talk about?
Rocket-Fuel Chemical Found in Breast Milk
Excerpt:
Scientists say perchlorate, a toxic component
of rocket fuel, was contaminating
virtually all samples of women's breast milk and
its levels were found to be,
on average, five times greater than in cow's milk.
The findings concern health experts because infants
and fetuses are the most vulnerable
to the thyroid-impairing effects of the chemical. Breast
milk from 36 women in 18 states
was sampled, and all contained traces of perchlorate. The
researchers recommended
that pregnant and nursing women block the
effects of perchlorate by taking iodine
supplements as a precaution.
Bush, Kerry and the networks tell us America voted
for more perchlorate in their milk last November.
They tell us America voted for fewer food tests
and fewer safety inspections of our food, the air that
we breathe and the water we drink.
To Bush, Kerry and the networks I ask: Why would
we do that?
Why would America consistently, since 2000, vote
against their wallet and their own best interests?
Robert Plant to play haunted Cain's in March
..
Will he remember Ol' Bart?
Subject: best HST quote
This is from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, this is what I consider his best paragraph to be, it gives me chills.
Strange memories on this nervous night in Las
Vegas. Has it been five years? Six? It seems like a lifetime
-- the kind of peak that never comes again. San
Francisco in the middle sixties was a very special time and place
to be a part of. But no explanation, no mix of
words or music or memories can touch that sense of knowing that
you were there and alive in that corner of time
and the world. Whatever it meant. There was madness in any direction,
at any hour... YOU COULD STRIKE SPARKS ANYWHERE.
THERE WAS A FANTASTIC UNIVERSAL
SENSE THAT WHATEVER WE WERE DOING WAS RIGHT, THAT
WE WERE WINNING. AND THAT,
I THINK, WAS THE HANDLE -- THAT SENSE OF INEVITABLE
VICTORY OVER THE FORCES OF
OLD AND EVIL. NOT IN ANY MEAN OR MILITARY SENSE;
WE DIDN'T NEED THAT. OUR ENERGY
WOULD SIMPLY PREVAIL. We had all the momentum;
we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave...
So now, less than five years later, you can go
up on a steep hill in Las Vegas and look west, and with the right kind
of eyes you can almost see the high water mark
-- that place where the wave finally broke and rolled back.
Sharon Ruby
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Suicide
forces Lawrence, KS to rethink mental health care
Bush's recession hurts so many more people then we realize
..
Brianna
Mitchell killed herself
last
month while waiting to
receive
care for her mental illness.
Her
death is one incident leading
to an
examination of the city's
mental
health care system.
Excerpt:
"My daughter asked for help," said Kathy Mitchell,
whose daughter Brianna committed suicide
last month after she was sent home from Lawrence
Memorial Hospital because LMH lacked a
mental health unit. "We were at LMH. We knew she
was in crisis. There was a gap in the system,
and it wasn't for a lack of us seeking help."
When Brianna Mitchell became suicidal, her mother
accompanied her to the LMH emergency room.
LMH officials told her that her daughter needed
treatment at the state mental hospital in Osawatomie.
But weather conditions prevented her daughter from
being transported to Osawatomie that night, so
the Mitchells were told to go home and return the
next morning. But Brianna Mitchell committed suicide
that night while at her mother's home.
It started with Reagan's cuts and Bush just multiplied
the heartless chain-sawing of emergency services.
It's all about tax cuts for the super-rich and
let the little people get by the best they can.
How could America vote for a heartless bastard
who favors the rich over people who need help?
Bush's U.S.
soldier body count in Iraq
1479, 1485,
1487, dead soldiers under Bush
Only 2 families destroyed since yesterday?
..
For Bush, that's a "military success."
American-Made Tequila Takes Shot at Market
Excerpt:
J.B. Wagoner planted blue agave around his 25-acre
property as an inexpensive landscaping
alternative to water-loving citrus or avocado groves. But
now he's found another use for the plants.
After years of research and experimentation, Wagoner
plans to use the 1,000 agaves to produce
tequila in hopes of cashing in on the distilled
spirit's growing popularity. Americans drank about
$1 billion worth of real Mexican tequila last year,
according to the Distilled Spirits Council.
There is an obstacle to Wagoner's plan. International
trade laws forbid use of the name tequila
unless it's made from blue agave in the Mexican
state of Jalisco. Wagoner came up with a solution.
He labels his liquor "Temequila," after the city
of Temecula, where BartCop is wanted by the law.
(I'm totally innocent - you should see her with
make-up on - she looked 30.)
Call the
918-748-1714
You have two minutes to record your message.
When "Reason" Rings Hollow
Excerpt:
Nick Gillespie, who I've never heard of before
today, has a piece up for Reason entitled,
Beyond
the Politics of Personal Destruction: What the Bush tapes reveal about policy
disputes.
Once I was done reading it I found myself appalled
by the lack of any reason to this piece.
His arguments are almost all torn down by reality.
Let's begin this dissection, shall we?
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..
Shirley Manson from Garbage
Shrl, call The BartPhone,
just to say "Hi!"
Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member
- for free!
You can call the Bart-Phone at 918-748-1714
That would be really cool, and we'll catch you in Vegas at The Joint on
your next American tour.
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