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In Today's Tequila Treehouse...
Bush puts the Bag on Syria 
Dems & the Bankruptcy Bill
Beating up Deroy Murdock 
Was HST's death a suicide? 
U.S. Forces Kill Italian Agent
How the BFEE makes money
Anybody need an Exorcism? 
Garbage tour dates
Gas prices going up, up, up...

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 Quote of the Day

"If a frog had side pockets, he'd carry a handgun." 
   --Dan Rather, explaining something...     Attribution
 
 

 

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Volume 1507 - His Lucky Number


  Fri-Sat    March 4, 5,  2005                                                                                                            Mike Malloy - 10 EST Weeknights on   AAR

 Quotes

"The South will rise again, and when it does, it will have
   a D in its name. We are not going to concede the South."
     -- Howard Dean, one of the few who are fighting back,  Attribution

  Comments?



 Bush puts the bag on Syria
  He's just itching to invade someone else

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Saudi Arabia told Syria on Thursday to withdraw its troops from Lebanon, adding substantially
 to Syria's international isolation just a day after Russia joined Western nations in making a similar call.
 

 ha ha

 Bush's CIA has pictures of Russia and the Saudis each blowing a donkey,
 so now Syria must dance for America's Murder Monkey.

 I sooooo need of a staff, I dont even know how many barrels of oil Syria pumps each day.
 ...those poor Arabs, if only they knew about the Bush Curse on their oil

 The BFEE is less forgiving than the Death Valley in August.

 Comments?


ha ha


 Democrats cry over Bankruptcy Bill
   Courage non-existent, we have another cave in

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Stung by two days of defeat for their bids to revise a bill overhauling the bankruptcy laws,
 Senate Democrats are whining like nine year-old girls, portraying the measure as making it harder
 for the poor and sick people to dissolve their debts while allowing the wealthy to shelter assets.
 

 The reason you see a Capitol One credit card commercial every 6 minutes on television
 is because the banks are making billions with their credit cards under the present system.

 ...but like oil men, they want it ALL.

 I heard something that I can't confirm.
 Those greedy bastards at Capitol One (What's in your wallet?) have taken greedy extremism to a new level.
 The way I heard the story, they offer you big loans at near Prime, then constantly monitor your credit.
 If you're late paying ANY bill, not just theirs, they jack you up to 28 percent.
 Bait and switch, just like Bush did with Osama and saddam.
 

 If these greedy bastards make it illegal to go broke, they'll destroy the motivation to take a chance.
 Too bad the Democrats refuse to come to work.

..

 Last night on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, Ari Fliescher (R-Forked Tongued liar)
 said it's hard for Bush to get anything done because you need 60 votes to do anything in the senate.

 There are 55 GOP senators and they can always find 5 more Democrats to screw the poor.

  Comments?


 Subject: Deroy Murdock

 You're sounding more like Ward Churchill every day.

 As soon as I get some time, I'll look that name up.
 Meanwhile, I'll assume it's not a compliment.
 

 Yes America is a racist Country, to an extent but please tell me that Cuba isn't or France isn't or even Mexico isn't likewise??

 I'm not much on world travel, but after WWII and Vietnam, black soldiers always returned with stories
 about how they were treated as "real" customers in European restaurants and hotels, then they'd come back
 to the good ol' USA and get "nigger" every time they turned around.

 That's the stories I've heard, but there's just anecdotal.
 I'm certain America is racist, but not as openly as it was 30 years ago.
 And if you're not sure, count the nationally elected black Republicans..
 

 Can't someone, even a Black Man think outside the "Opressed/Opressor Box" without you telling there where their place is??

 If a black man whores himself to sell the GOP point of view, I should overlook that because he's black?
 Murdock had to go back 150 years to find some good Republicans.
 He had to do that because there are so few (if any) tolerant Republicans right now.
 Didn't you get that?
 

 If I wanted a humorless rant I'd go to the CPUSA or IACENTER.ORG.

 Sometimes we make a point, sometimes we do the humor.
 

 I tell my REPUBLICAN Friends that your site is the best place on the web both content wise and ease to nav
 but they'll be wagging their Heads to me if you continue to be schizophrenic.

 Schizophrenic?
 

 Calm down and insult us with the usual finesse please.
 sincerely,
 Neill E

 Why would I insult an honest and sincere guy like you?
 

  Comments?



 Quotes

"Only one in three Americans approve of Bush's handling of  stealing Social Security,
  his lowest rating on the issue since he took office..."
       --Jim Drinkard,   Attribution
 

 Are Americans beginning to understand that the lame duck Monkey is a bloodthirsty thief?

 Comments?


 Subject: Al Qaeda

 Bart, you said:

> "Why have a suicider blow up some dinky sheriff's office 30 miles west of Tikrit, when that same life
>  could take out 100 Americans at Rockefeller Center, the Sears Tower or the Mall of America?"

 The answer is that that same suicide bomber couldn't pull it off.  A suicide bomber needs support to
 get to a vulnerable location with a bomb.  Around Tikrit, there's plenty of disaffected Iraqis willing
 to aid him, and the law enforcement is unlikely to catch or punish them for it.  Around New York,
 there are few people willing to help a terrorist, and the police/FBI are very likely to catch them if they do.

 What?

 So while it takes one life to bomb 30 people in Tikrit, it would take more like a half-dozen willing
(but not guaranteed) to give up their lives, not to mention the extra money and planning, to execute a
 similar attack in the U.S.  And that ignores the higher likelihood that we would catch them before
 they can pull off the attack here.

 When terrorists hit the U.S., they have to think big, because it's a big risk.
 Which means you're right to be suspicious.
 Derek
 

 Derek, I strongly disagree.

 Remember this handjob?

..
           "I'm a handjob."

 All he had to do was light the fuse in his shoe.
 Anybody smarter than him (maybe even Bush) could've done that.

 Why does a nut need a support staff?
 All he needs is a handfull of C4, or hell, he could steal a gasoline truck and a Bic lighter
 and he could cause a whole lot of damage to a sold-out Radio City Music Hall.

 It's not that Al Qaeda can't attack us, it's that they choose not to, and nobody wonders why?

  Comments?


4wk

From now until the end of March,
"Not me" will double your order.

Order 1 get 1 free,
order 5 get 5 free,
order a dozen, get 2 dozen free,
you can't go wrong with a deal like that.


 Subject: Catholic Comments

 Bart,

 Your Catholic "ejaculations" calculations were hilarious.
 I am 51 yrs. old, went to Catholic grammar school and high school and college,
 and have respect for the religion but can't go to Church or follow the Pope.

 Your Catholic comments always crack me up, because I can relate so well.
 I can't attest to the effectiveness of ejaculations, though, wrong gender, and I happen to be lousy at math.

 Dominus vobiscum,
 Dorothy
 

 Dorothy, Et cum spiri 2 2 0

 Comments?


Used with permission  http://www.mnftiu.cc
 

Meet David Rees at Harvard,
tell him "Bart says Hey!"


 Martha Stewart breaks out of Federal Prison
   David Letterman drives getaway car for ex-wife

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
"Right now, as you can imagine, I am thrilled to be returning to my more familiar life,"
 Stewart said in a statement posted on her web site. "My heart is filled with joy at the prospect
 of the warm embraces of my family, friends and colleagues. Certainly, there is no place like home."

 Comments?


 Priest involved in most famous exorcism dies

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Wally Halloran was a handsome and athletic Jesuit scholastic in his 20s when he found himself
 part of a religious experience that would become one of the scariest movies in Hollywood history.

 Father Halloran, who died March 1 at 83, was the last living Jesuit to be involved in an exorcism
 that took place in 1949 in St. Louis. The incident provided the inspiration for The Exorcist, the 1971
 runaway bestseller by that name, which led to the hit movie that caused panic and suicides that year.
 

 I found this accidentally while searching for a story I heard about via car radio.
 When the movie premiered, Ellen Burstyn told the priest her daughter needed an exorcism.
 Father Damien said, "Then we need to put her in a Time Machine and go wabac to when
 Catholics were even more crazy than they are now, back to a time before we understood
 things like psychiatry, mental illness and schizophrenia...  Truth is, we gave up on that
 horseshit because we got tired of the entire scientific and medical community laughing at us,"

 ...but no more.

 Maybe it's the Giggling Murderer Effect, but the whole world is reverting back to stupidity.
 The Vatican recently announced new exorcism classes to handle the tsunami of new cases.

 Vatican offers priests exorcism classes

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 VATICAN CITY -- The Vatican university is offering a course for priests
 wishing to brush up their exorcism skills, the BBC reported Thursday.

 The history of Satanism and its biblical context, psychology and the law will be
 part of the course at the prestigious Athenaeum Pontificium Regina Apostolorum.
 

 The whole world is losing its mind.
 We're all turning into the backside of f-ing Charly

 Thanks to Bush, we're rejecting science and logic and going back to that which we have overcome.
 The Devil has become real again, and the Catholics are ready to do battle with him.
 I wonder what they charge for an exorcism?
 Trust me, they don't do it for free.
 

 Sidebar:
 The Devil is one tricky dude.
 When I was a 40-inch tall Catholic, I wondered why God didn't know Lucifer was a traitor.
 They told us God knew everything.

 Was God a little bit gullible?
 Was God too trusting?
 Did God put His faith in the wrong hands?

 Why isn't Heaven backstab-free?
 When we all get to Heaven, will we have to watch our back?
 Or did God learn from His mistake and clean up the place after Lucifer left?

 Why does God make mistakes?
 How many "angels" did Lucifer convince to go with him and betray God?
 When we get to Heaven, will we be faced with such choices?

 Me?   I'd stick with God, 'cause he's God, but one could certainly make the point
 that Lucifer has done very well for Himself by rejecting and betraying the one, true God.
 By the way, why did God create the Devil?
 Didn't He know he would turn out bad?
 For that matter, why did God create evil?

 Why punish us because Eve couldn't keep her lips off the apple?
 Would've Eve be considered another oversight on God's part?
 

 Like Bush, Lucifer has an approval rating of almost 50 percent.
 Why can't God convince more people that good is better than evil?
 Is God a Democrat?

 Why did God allow the angels to profit by rejecting and betraying Him?
 If you can't trust your fellow angels in Heaven, who the hell can you trust?

 Comments?



 Subject: MWO

 Hi Bart,

 If I recall correctly, the last time I read MWO they had posted some bitch letter they had gotten
 from someone, scolding MWO for not updating often enough.  MWO agreed with the writer and
 said it was time to hang it up and go "Out To Pasture".  It was sad.

 I got the feeling they were really influential, and were just becoming more so as time went on.
 David
 

 I am so conflicted.
 

 Comments?


 Was HST's death a suicide?

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 serious irregularities surrounding the demise
 a lackluster job of investigating
 cops arriving on the scene heard shots being fired
 wife's account of the incident is inconsistent
 merely been firing off a salute to his dead dad
 there was no bullet in the firing chamber
 found at his typewriter with the word "counselor" typed in the centre of the page
 had been working on a far-fetched story about 9-11

 Comments?



 Subject: Do not destroy the egg or sperm

 Menstrual periods are crimes.
 Masturbation and wet dreams are crimes
 They're killing potential babies.

 clarence swinney
 

 Clarence, and what about those nuns?
 Month after month, those eggs babies just get flushed away.

 Comments?


Click  Here  to read the FAQ

Click  Here  to increase your hits!


 Subject: Rather's fall

 Bart, you're too forgiving of Rather.

 People say that about me, ...that I'm too forgiving, that I'm too willing to compromise...
 ...but I've learned to live with my faults.
 

 That idiot spent too many years in the news studio sitting on his fat ass preening like a prima-donna.
 His 'reporting' was already a joke when he joined in the teeny-bopper hero-worship of that senile studio hack from California.

 "...senile studio hack from California?"

 My first guess is Reagan, but did Rather worship Reagan?
 

 He'd been primed for a fall for years.
 If he'd stuck to his job in the 80's and 90's instead of playing the big-shot celebrity,
 he'd never have been snookered by such a lame trick.  Good-riddance!

 joe in Japan
 

 Also, in 1963, Rather from CBS and a reporter for LIFE Magazine were the only two people
 to see the Zapurder film. After one viewing, they were asked what they'd be willing to pay for it.

 Rather said, "I gotta find a phone and call the office," and left the room.
 The guy from LIFE said, "I'll give you $500,000 for it," and the deal was over.

  Comments?


"Is This Heaven?"
... the view from Iowa

by Mike Palecek

...author and former federal prisoner for peace,

www.iowapeace.com


 U.S. Forces Kill Italian Agent After Reporter Freed

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 U.S. forces fired at a car carrying Italian reporter Giuliana Sgrena shortly after her liberation,
 killing an Italian secret service agent and lightly wounding the journalist, her newspaper said on Friday.

 Sgrena was seized in baghdad on Feb. 4 as she conducted interviews on the street near Baghdad University.
 Gabriele Polo, the editor of Il Manifesto newspaper, said Sgrena's car was fired on as it made its way to Baghdad airport.

"This news which should have be a moment of celebration, has been ruined by this fire fight," Polo told Italian television.

"An Italian agent has been killed by an American bullet. A tragic demonstration which we never wanted that everything
 that's happening in Iraq is completely senseless and mad," he added, struggling to fight back his tears.
 

 Why did we do that?
 Do we shoot anything that moves in baghdad?
 Is that how the 100,000 (or is it 196,000?) civialians died?

 Comments?



 Subject: It was all just a hoax

 First, it was because Saddam was connected to 9/11. (now known to be false)

 Then, it was because he collaborated with al Qaeda. (now known to be false)
 Then it was he had weapons of mass destruction. (now admitted to be false by the administration)
 Then it was that Bush was the victim of bad intelligence. (but his own people said Saddam wasn't a threat  2 years prior)
 Then, it was because Saddam was a very bad man. (true, but why Iraq in particular?)
 Then, it was to liberate the Iraqi people. (nice, but why Iraq in particular?)
 Then, it was to spread democracy.(ditto)

 It is obvious in this rotation of reasons, that the real reasons have never been stated. They are:

Iraq has strategic oil reserves.
The public was so scared after 9/11 that a bait and switch was possible.
Bush hates Saddam. It's personal.
It is part of the PNAC plan, ever since the '90s.

 The stated reasons show contempt for the American people They insult their intelligence.
 Apparently that disrespect is deserved, because there is hardly the uprising of indignation at the deception.
 Rather, people keep on disagreeing and discussing the thing back and forth.

 When all the time, show me the microbe, the chemical, the nuke that Saddam was hiding.
 Photos please.

 It was all just a hoax.

  Scott Davs

  Comments?



Marty's Entertainment Page


 Gas prices might shoot up 24 cents
  The nation is stunned by such unexpected news...

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Gasoline prices could rocket 24 cents a gallon the next few days, as stations across the USA scramble
 to keep up with big jumps in the prices of oil and wholesale gas, a veteran energy-price analyst forecast Thursday.

"It's going to be brutal, horrendous," says Peter Beutel, president of energy-price tracker Cameron Hanover.
 He has followed energy markets for nearly three decades.  Thursday, light, sweet crude oil for April delivery
 traded as high as $55.20 a barrel in New York before closing at $53.57.
 

..
"We don't set the prices, those are
  what we call "...market forces"

 A 24-cent jump in the price of gas would bump unleaded regular to a nationwide average of about $2.16 a gallon,
 blowing through last May's record of about $2.06. It could go higher as increased warm-weather driving in another
 two months pushes up demand, and therefore prices, forecasters say.
 

 .
"We work hard every day to help
  bring down the nation's energy costs..."

 The price increase translates to "$90 million a day, every day that it remains in effect,"
 which could be several months, Beutel says.
 
 

 .
"Energy companies must pass on their higher costs
  to stay in business.  That explains the extra $90 million a day."
 

 $90 million a day, that's exactly what Bush is stealing every day in Iraq.
 Is 90 Bush's lucky number?   They just pick an amount they want to steal - and then they steal it,
 while a gutless congress and a whore media watch them stuffing their pockets with million dollar bills.

 Comments?



 Quotes

"I'm trying to tell the truth and taking positions that I hope are godly positions,
  positions that I hope are helpful to my fellow man. And I don't think there's
  any law against enjoying myself in the process."
      --Bob Novak, above the law when betraying a CIA spy,    Attribution
 

 Comments?


We've got tonza books by tonza authors.


This was on the web site of Rick Santorum (R-Reliogiously Insane).
He quickly took it down so as not to shame his Monkey.


 Quotes

"The truth is, not one Republican president has balanced the budget
  in almost 40 years. You cannot trust Republicans with your money.
  The only person who's balanced the budget is Bill Clinton.
  If we can get rid of the Republicans, we can have a better future."
         --Howard Dean,  at Cornell Community  Attribution
 

 Comments?


 Subject: Hillary in '08

 Bart,

 I think if Hillary runs in '08 she'll put up one hell of a fight, unlike our last two candidates, but will
 ultimately be defeated, possibly by another Bush, due simply to the fact that her last name is Clinton,
 and in the eyes of the Limbaugh/Hannity set, that taints her and makes her guilty by association.
 They'll also slam her for being a woman, and imply, if not come right out and say it, that females are
 unqualified for the job.  The only way they won't play the gender angle is if Kinda Sleazy runs for the Repubs.

 However, my hope is that Hillary will have Barak Obama as her running mate.  Obama, mark my words,
 will be the first black President of the US, and he'll do it in 2012.  He'll run with Clinton in '08, and even though
 they'll probably lose, he will have gotten some much needed nation-wide name recognition.  Then, when 2012
 rolls around, and the country has finally started to realize that the BFEE is destroying our country, they'll be ready
 for a change, Obama will be the favorite for the Dem nomination, and he'll sail into Washington and "paint the
 White House black" (to quote another famous Clinton).

 Hell, maybe President Obama would have George Clinton headline the innauguration.
 Now that would be a party.

 Keep Swinging, higher and harder,
  kyle

 Comments?


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 How the BFEE cashes in with Iraq

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 A $33,000 food order in Mosul was billed at $432,000.
 Electricity that cost $74,000 was invoiced at $400,000.
 Even $10 kettles got a 400 percent markup.

 Custer Battles billed the government nearly $10 million for items including food and vehicles.
 The total cost to Custer Battles, according to the spreadsheet, was less than $4 million -- a
 profit margin of 150 percent, far higher than the 25 percent margin allowed under its contract.

 Custer Battles was able to secure tens of millions of dollars' worth of contracts from the CPA
 -- despite the fact that it didn't even exist
 until just months before the invasion of Iraq.
 

 The sons of bitches, knowing Bush was going to invade, form dummy corporations "owned" by
 friends and loyalists who get permission to gouge like crazy until they get caught. Once caught,
 they blame battlefield bookkeeping errors because after all, who among us can keep good books
 with bullets whizzing by every few seconds, right?

 The BFEE is stealing billions every day and nobody -
 not the Democrats and not the media - fucking cares.

 Comments?


Bush's U.S. soldier body count in Iraq
 

1499, 1502, 1503, dead soldiers under Bush

That's  another  family destroyed since yesterday.
 


 

How many more, America?
 

http://icasualties.org/oif/


 Ratherisms

  Click  Here


 Garbage tour dates

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 4/10 - San Francisco, CA @ The Warfield
 4/11 - Los Angeles, CA @ The Wiltern LG
 4/14 - Atlanta, GA @ Tabernacle
 4/16 - Philadelphia, PA @ Theatre Of Living Arts
 4/17 - Boston, MA @ Avalon
 4/19 - New York, NY @ Hammerstein Ballroom
 4/21 - Washington, DC @ 9:30 Club
 4/24 - Montreal, QC @ Metropolis
 4/25 - Toronto, ON @ Kool Haus
 4/27 - Detroit, MI @ State Theatre
 4/28 - Milwaukee, WI @ The Rave
   5/1 - Madison, WI @ Orpheum Theatre
   5/4 - Chicago, IL @ Metro
 

 Damn, they're not making this easy...
 Chicago (600 miles) is closest.

 Hey Shirley, how about a sweep thru the south that ends at the Hard Rock in Vegas?

 Comments?


Call the

918-748-1714
You have two minutes to record your message.


..

  Subject: 1500 dead soldiers

 Mr. Cop-

 Well, the inconsiderate bastards did it again.
 Here we had a another golden opportunity to use a nice, round number to talk about what a shit Bush is,
 but they had to go out and die in a group of 3.  1,502 just doesn't sound right.

 First they win the war, and they don't get slaughtered wholesale,
 and then they have the nerve to get killed in an uneven number.

 I think you ought to write to the extra two families and tell them how badly their dearly departed fucked up your party.
 I mean, if bashing Bush isn't more important that life itself, what is?

 You should be celebrating more American deaths right now,
 not wallowing in anger over this missed opportunity.

 Have a nice day,
 Shamus Slotnik
 

 Shamus, you need to decide which side you're on.
 Bush sent 1503 soldiers to their death for no reason,
 yet you want Bush's reputation to be protected and distorted?

 Or are you saying it's unAmerican to notice how many soldiers died for no reason?
 If I was a better American, I'd ignore the coffins and wave the flag faster?

 Had anyone else been in charge, those 1503 soldiers would still be alive,
 but Bush's insatiable hardon for oil made him richer at the cost of those lives.

 With Bush still in charge, we'll likely lose another 1500 - or more.
 Will you write after there are 3,000 dead and try to pin that on me, too?

 *I* don't steal millions every day from this pointless war, Bush does.
 We on the left want fewer dead soldiers - and you disagree with me on that?
.
 Do you love Bush and his senseless, never-ending bloody war?

 Comments?



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..
                    Oh my, it's Shirley Manson from Garbage

 Shrl, call  The BartPhone, just to say "Hi!"
 Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member - for free!

 You can call the Bart-Phone at 918-748-1714
 That would be really cool, and we'll catch you in Vegas at The Joint on your next American tour.


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