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In Today's Tequila Treehouse... Cardinal Blasts 'Da Vinci Code' Oil Prices Soar Above $57  Hariri killed for US AFB?  Fate of DeLay looks grim  The Darkness Drops Again  Color commentary  McGwire Remains Evasive Bolton's Nomination An Insult Bush's plans for Iraq's oil   Quote of the Day "If I paid attention to surveys,    I wouldn't do anything. "      --Dubya, pretending he's not bothered by polls        that show only 35 percent believe in his plan        to steal their Social Security checks,                                           Attribution

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"An ABC News/Washington Post poll shows that 39% of adults approve of 
  the way Bush is handling Iraq and 53% think the war with Iraq was not worth fighting." 
         --Hotline's Wake-up Call!,   Attribution
 

 But no matter how many soldiers and civilians die,
 no matter how many billions are missing at Halliburton,
 no matter how many lies he tells about Social Security, 
 the budget, the economic mess or the environment 
 people say they like the Monkey personally.

 ...at least that's what we hear from the networks, the cable Nazis and talk radio

  Comments?

 Top Cardinal Blasts 'Da Vinci Code' as 'Cheap Lies'

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
A top Catholic cardinal has blasted "The Da Vinci Code" as a "gross and absurd" distortion of history 
and said Catholic bookstores should take the bestseller off their shelves because it is full of "cheap lies."

Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone became the highest ranking Italian Churchman to speak out against the book, 
an international blockbuster that has sold millions of copies. 

"(It) aims to discredit the Church and its history through gross and absurd manipulations," Bertone, 
 the archbishop of the northern Italian city of Genoa and a close friend of Pope John Paul. 

"This seems like a throwback to the old anti-clerical pamphlets of the 1800s," he said.
 

 Hmmmmm.... 
 The Catholics seem to want a piece of everybody except ther Giggling Mass Murderer
 and the organized child rapists that have infiltrated their ranks.

 Maybe they should flame-back on writers and Democrats and go after real evil?

 And as far as that crack about "a throwback to the 1800s,"
 that sounds odd coming from a group that's just now re-starting their exorcism classes.
 

 Comments?

 Oil Prices Soar Above $57 on Supply Fears Bush's orders
   Why did BIG OIL give $60M to get Bush in the White House?

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Crude oil futures prices soared above $57 a barrel for the first time Thursday after OPEC's
 pledge to increase output failed to assure traders who were worried about tight supply.

 Light, sweet crude for April delivery rose 78 cents to $57.24 a barrel on the New York
 Mercantile Exchange by afternoon in Europe, after reaching as high as $57.50. The previous
 intraday high, set in October, was $55.67 a barrel. Heating oil rose to $1.6145 a gallon.
 

 Why are oil prices going up?
 Because Bush has given them permission to gouge America.

..
    Chevron-Texaco stock went from 32 to 62.
    The super-rich (and  bartcop.com  readers) knew this was going to happen 
     so the super-rich invested millions and doubled their money.

..
    Exxon-Mobile stock went from 35 to 64.
    The super-rich (and  bartcop.com  readers) knew this was going to happen 
     so the super-rich invested millions and doubled their money..

  That's why they gave Bush $60,000,000 to steal his way into the White House.
 

..

 Comments?

 Subject: Cutting Medicare

 I want to thank the Republicans in the Senate who crossed party lines and voted with the Democrats
 to stop Bush from cutting medical services for the poor so that the super rich can keep their tax cuts.

 Poor people who are sick need medical services to stay alive and get well. I would hope that America 
 remains a country who still shows compassion for poor sick people.

 Marc Perkel
 San Francisco, CA.

  Comments?

 Hariri assassinated to make way for U.S. air base

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
According to high-level Lebanese intelligence sources, both Christian and Muslim, the former Lebanese 
Prime Minister Rafik Hariri was assassinated in a sophisticated explosion-by-wire bombing authorized by 
the Bush administration and Ariel Sharon's Likud government. There are also strong indications that the 
Hariri assassination was carried out by the same rogue Syrian intelligence agents used in the 2002 car bombing 
assassination of Lebanese Christian leader Elie Hobeika, who was prepared to testify against Sharon in 
a Brussels human rights court."
 

This can't be true because it's been well established that evil men will not kill for money or power.

 Comments?

  The fate of DeLay Inc. looks grim
   by Sid Blumenthal

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Three times last year DeLay was rebuked by the House ethics committee. But DeLay has more to worry about. 
 Three of his closest aides in Texas are standing trial for criminal campaign-finance violations involving funneling 
 $2.5 million in illegal corporate money from his political action committee to Republican candidates for the state 
 Legislature. (Afterward, the Legislature redistricted congressional seats to eliminate Democrats and consolidate 
 Republican control of the House.) 

 In response to the possibility that he may face trial himself, DeLay tried to force the House to abolish a GOP rule 
 that requires leaders to step aside temporarily if indicted. But members faced an uproar in their districts and DeLay 
 had to abandon his gambit. As the web of grand juries and trials entangling his closest political associates spreads, 
 his self-protective tactics have become more frantic. Last month, he purged those Republicans from the House ethics 
 committee who had any Hamlet-like hesitations about suppressing further investigations into his activities. 
 

  Comments?

  The Darkness Drops Again

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Neocon warlord Paul Wolfowitz will head the World Bank;
 The White House illegally puts out fake news reports, and the Justice Department does nothing;
 Another $81 billion of your money and mine is to be poured onto the Iraqi sand;

 The GOP majority in Congress is preparing to trash 200 years of Senate tradition in order 
 to post a number of certifiably insane people to the bench;  Kevin Martin, a conservative 
 Christian activist for the GOP, will now chair the FCC;

 The Alaskan National Wildlife Reserve, one of the most ecologically pristine areas remaining to us, 
 will be paved and drilled for its tiny amount of petroleum.

 And that was just yesterday. 

  Comments?

 Subject: New Washington developments 

 Williams Cabinet Member Is Slain
  Gay Affairs Director Found Dead at Home

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 An appointee of Mayor Anthony A. Williams who headed the city's office of gay and lesbian
 issues was found slain late yesterday in her Northeast Washington home, police said, 
 stunning city officials, activists and friends.

 Any relation to HST murder?
 Johnny Law
 

 JL, all I can say is if I was gay, I would not get mixed up with people who would kill to keep their secret.
 If a Democrat gets outed, they just get outed.
 If a member of the BFEE gets outed, he loses everything - so murder comes into play.

Comments?

 McGwire Remains Evasive
  Why can't he give simple, straight answers? 

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 While McGwire acknowledged "there has been a problem with steroid use in baseball," 
 he responded to questions about his own involvement by saying, "I'm not here to discuss the past," 
 or, "I'm here to be positive about this subject."

 McGwire's testimony, meantime, was noteworthy for what it did not say. "Asking me or any other player
 to answer questions about who took steroids in front of television cameras," he said, "will not solve the problem.
 My lawyers have advised me that I cannot answer these questions without jeopardizing my friends, my family 
 and myself. I intend to follow their advice.""
 

 He's trying to sound noble, but to me he just sounds caught.
 He's admitted taking "Andro," which was/is legal, so why not go further?

 I still say they're only talking about this because a black man is about to take Ruth's title.

Comments?

 Subject:  Tiger Woo   in Ireland

 Taking a wee break from the golf course, Tiger Woods drives his new Mercedes into an Irish gas station.
 An attendant greets him in typical Irish manner, unaware who the golf pro is.

 "Top o' the mornin' to ya".

 As Tiger gets out of the car, two tees fall out of his pocket.
 "So what are those things, laddie?" asks the attendant.

 "They're called tees," replies Tiger.

 "And what would ya be usin' em for, now?" inquires the Irishman.

 "Well, they're for resting my balls on when I drive," replies Tiger.

 "Aw, Jaysus, Mary an Joseph!" exclaims the Irish attendant.
 "Those fellas at Mercedes think of everything"!!

   Comments?

 Presumed Guilty
  How Nancy Grace has poisoned American justice

....
 "Cops only arrest the guilty,
   so why bother with a trial?"

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Christmas came early and often last year for Nancy Grace. A jury in California found Scott Peterson guilty
 then recommended that Peterson be sentenced to death. Grace could hardly hide her satisfaction with the decisions.
"Today, for this moment, there is justice for Laci and Conner. A jury has spoken, and if you listen to those jurors the
 way I did today, you know that justice has been done."
 

"We all know he did it" makes for good TV.
 That means this female is on Court TV with her Nancy Grace Guarantee that all arrested men did it.
 Then she moves over to CNN with her Nancy Grace Guarantee that all arrested men did it schtick.
 Now she has her own all Nancy Grace Guarantee that all arrested men did it show on Headline News..

 It's not about fairness or accuracy or justice - it's about making money for the whore networks.
"We all know he did it" makes the whore networks more money, so they run with that.

 Maybe Scott Peterson is guilty, I don't know, but I wish the state's evidence was solid.
"He said he was going to play golf, but he went fishing, instead. That's good enough for me!"

 Maybe Michael Jackson is guilty, I don't know, but I wish the state's evidence was solid.
"A boy with an ambitious mother makes a claim. That's good enough for me!"
 

 The good news?
 States can save money on those unnecessary trials because once you have the Nancy Grace Guarantee,
 there's no reason to spend taxpayer's money to find out that which we already know.

 Tip for all men:
 If you buy a fishing boat, tell everyone you f-ing know right away or Nancy Grace
 will taint your jury with her Nancy Grace Guarantee and then you'll be Scott's cellmate.

 Comments?

  Quotes

"I wouldn't want to move to a smaller house."
   -- Bono, when asked if he'd ever want to be President      Attribution
 

  Comments?

 Torture takes a Holiday

 So many people wrote with comments and questions,
 it will take additional hours to corral and answer them.

 Look for that in a future issue.

  Comments?

 Subject: On fire!

 Dear Mr. Cop, you wrote -

> The whole world is talking about Bush's gay sex scandal - everyone but the pro-Bush American media.
> They spend years on Clinton's girlfriend, but they refuse to print stories about Bush's boyfriend?

> The "liberal press" won't mention the facts (gigolo Gannon's White House access) that they witnessed with their own eyes.
 

 Ouch, the whiplash. Everytime I read this I practically roll on the floor after the first two lines. 
 Then while I'm still wiping tears from my eyes I get slapped across the face about our/their media. 
 Now THAT's an education.

 Mark Twain would've been proud.
 a loyal subscriber 
 

 Dude, thanks.
 Did you know Twain had a mouth on him like Jayson Mewes?
 

 ...fucking A, bitch.

 Comments?

 Bolton's Nomination An Insult to the U.N. 
   by Joe Conason

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 The nomination of John Bolton to serve as U.S. ambassador to the United Nations is in keeping 
 with the governing philosophy of the Bush administration, which has displayed a penchant for officials 
 who despise the agencies they are appointed to run. Consumer protection is turned over to people 
 who believe consumers needn't be protected; environmental protection is entrusted to people who 
 think the environment shouldn't be protected; and now our U.N. mission is to be overseen by a man 
 who has loudly and repeatedly denounced the international organization. 

 Conservatives in Washington regard his long history of shrill disparagement of the U.N. as his strongest 
 qualification for dealing with the world body's officials, ambassadorial colleagues and other members 
 of the diplomatic community in New York. 
 

 Comments?

 Did Hunter S. Thompson Really Kill Himself?
   by The Hollywood Liberal

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 1. Would Hunter blow his brains out with his 6-year-old grand child in the house? (doesn't seem likely)

 2. Would Hunter leave a note? (You would think so, but some other friend of his said it would be just like him to not leave a note.)

 3. Was he planning suicide? (According to reports He had spoken of suicide, with greater frequency. 
      It was causing big problems with the marriage for Anita. Also Hunters son Juan, said that he always knew 
     that was how Hunter would go out. (but he was surprised with the timing.)

 4. Was Hunter really working on some big story? (The truth is Hunter had not put out any original material in at least a decade. 
     The only thing he was doing was his sports column for ESPN, where he did trash Bush occasionally. But I don't think he was 
     really working on any story.)   One thing that was puzzling to me was the way AP originally reported the Hunter death story, 
     which I first found out about as a headline on Yahoo News: 

    "Author Hunter Thompson Kills Himself"

 Not, dies of an apparent suicide. Not commits suicide. Not under investigation. 
 Just that he kills himself. No doubt, no question

  Comments?

Color commentary
  by Gene Lyons

 Click  Here

  Excerpt:
With many Americans entering NCAA college basketball betting pools this week,
it occurred to me that C-SPAN might get a ratings boost if U.S. senators wore brightly 
colored uniforms with numbers on their backs. Think about it.  Millions who can't tell a 
match-up zone from a no-parking zone are wagering good money on the Opossum State 
Marsupials' chances of upsetting the Fighting Toll Booth Collectors of UNJ. Yet only a
tiny fraction can tell you how their senator voted on a bankruptcy "reform" law that among 
other outrages puts credit card companies ahead of child support payments in collecting
from deadbeat dads. That's right, sports fans. The corporate shills who peddle unsecured 
credit to teenagers and house pets via bulk mail and Internet pop-up ads, seduce them into 
debt, then pummel them with late fees, excess-spending penalties and 40 percent interest 
rates now want to prevent the poor saps from escaping through bankruptcy. 

 Subject: GOP pedophile -gate 

 Bart,

 I have been following this. 
 Legible copy of the Moonie Times copy is here. 
 The story is very scary and sickening. 

 This could be the one that ruins the republicans for all time, but of course,
 the catholic church should have been ruined too... 

 If Guckert really turns out to be Johnny Gosch, it might be hard to keep a lid on it.
 I bet the reason the Washington Times ran this, when they seem like the Republicans' 
 best friend, is BLACKMAIL. They run this one day, to remind the R's who's boss, then drop it. 

 Cults are big on sexual persuasion and blackmail (how did Scientologists get their IRS exemption?), 
 and Moon has never intended to be #2. This story is so big, now I'm getting paranoid. Scary shit. 
 I hope it ends the Republican party!

 Gordon  the Pillar
 

 Gordon, thanks.
 Bush and Karl Rove hope nobody will click on that.
 The networks, newspapers and talk radio are helping by looking the other way.

 Comments?

Quotes

"I like the idea of people running for office. There's a positive effect when you run for office. 
  Maybe some will run for office and say, Vote for me, I look forward to blowing up America."
  I don't know, I don't know if that will be their platform or not. But it's -- I don't think so." 
       --Dubya, talking about his daddy's Iran-Contra partners, Hezzbollah,  Attribution

  Comments?

 I got this e-mail...

 From: John Kerry

 To: Icavedin

 Yesterday, we saw a relentless Republican attack on one of our most 
 treasured natural wonders sneak through the Senate on a 51 to 49 vote. 

 But, we also saw ... 
 

 For a minute, I couldn't figure out what this was, then I remember sending Kerry an e-mail 
 after he caved in last November and I wanted to send a message so I used that name.

 Comments?

 Secret US plans for Iraq's oil 
   by Greg Palast  for the BBC

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Two years ago today - when President George Bush announced US, British and 
 Allied forces would begin to bomb Baghdad - protesters claimed the US had a 
 secret plan for Iraq's oil once Saddam had been conquered. 

 In fact there were two conflicting plans, setting off a hidden policy war between 
 neo-conservatives at the Pentagon, on one side, versus a combination of "Big Oil" 
 executives and US State Department "pragmatists". 

"Big Oil" appears to have won. The latest plan, obtained by Newsnight from the 
 State Department was, we learned, drafted with the help of American oil industry consultants. 

 Insiders told Newsnight that planning began "within weeks" of Bush's first taking office in 2001,
 long before the September 11th attack on the US. 
 

 Quotes

"We're more hated than ever; there are more loose weapons than ever; we've created 
  more terrorists than ever; our enemies are rejoicing and Bin Laden remains at large, laughing at us, 
  and we've shown the world that our word and our competence cannot be trusted.  Nice job." 
      --Eric Alterman,    Altercation

  Comments?

 Subject: Scott fries, Due process dies

 Still no smoking gun. 
 The case totally relied on sensationalism and petty emotionalism. 
 No presumption of innocence. 

 ...and OJ is still a free man

 Barnaby
 

Comments?

 Gwen Stefani, Live From New York

..

   Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Gwen Stefani is the musical guest on Saturday Night Live March 19th on NBC.

 Stefani also will stop by David Letterman on Monday, March 21.

 Internet rumor: Anderson Cooper is dating the star of what cable TV show? 

 It's a little known fact that he's been secretly dating Larry King....
 Name witheld in Fort Lauderdale
 

 No, the correct answer is Carson Kressley from Queer Eye.
 Did you know Anderson was the son of Gloria Vanderbilt? 

  Comments?

 Subject: House rocks

 Hi Bart,

 We look forward to House now every week, it's earned a #1 place on our calendar of TV.
 Earned, the hard way, by wit and grit, and the use of intelligent dialogue, and promoting some values that I like.
 Like cause-and-effect, intelligence, curiosity, science, and reason.  Too bad it's on Fux TV, but that's the breaks.
 It's as interesting as ER used to be, or West Wing, in its own way.

 Don the Day Trader
 

 It's the best show on TV, but The Shield could change that.

  Comments?

 VCR Alert

 Bill Maher is having his "conservatives only" show tonight on HBO.

 Lucky Bill, with his Hollywood connections and HBO's massive cash flow, 
 he's able to find a conservative who is semi-willing to debate the issues with him. 
 Damn, wish I was that lucky.

 Saturday's Rock n Roll Hall of Fame Show might be good.
 Sunday's shark movie on CBS is to be avoided, but then anything is better than basketball.

   Comments?

 Subject: BartCop stickers

 Bart,
 I am going to see Garbage in April and i need Bartcop stickers to give to Shirley!!!

 $10 should cover a few stickers and postage.
 Thanks again for your great site.

 Steve
 

 Steve, thanks for that. Stickers are on the way
 Give Shirley a hug for me and ask her to link to  bartcop.com

 They're back

..

 Get your BartCop Stickers!

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 Your pet would like to be in bartcop.com  right?
 I know your plant would.

 Comments?

Subject:  You assholes

you are all assholes...so fuck yourselves and all your liberal buddies

Tony Fronczak Jr
 

 PS. you assholes can contact me at work

 Southwest Metal Finishing 
 2445 S. Calhoun Road, 
 New Berlin, WI 53151
 Phone: 262-784-1919 
 Fax: 262-641-7086 

 Human Resources: HR@SWMetalFinishing.com

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..
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..
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 You can call the Bart-Phone at 918-748-1714
 That would be really cool, and we'll catch you in Vegas at The Joint on your next American tour. 

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