BartCop's most recent rants - Political Humor and Commentary - April 2-4, 2005 - Volume 1526 - Don't Scream - Bush relied on drunken liar, Creditors can't seize IRAs, Parry: Just Sack 'Em All, The Pope's Legacy, Media Silent on Schiavo, Church of Reality Dogma, Curveball the Goofball, My God, they've killed him, Bush is a monkey, Cheney, Rove and Rumsfeld are evil sons-of-bitches

"...what this was all about is that Cisneros was not honest to the agents conducting his
background check about money he had paid a former mistress (he said the amount was
lower than it actually was). Dishonest? Sure. Stupid? Absolutely. But he admitted it and
paid the fine ( $10,000 ). For this, an investigation that lasts for a decade and spends over
$20 million of taxpayers' money? And they're still investigating? It's Cisneros' bad fortune
that his particular ethical lapse didn't involve, say, insider trading, or lying to start a war that
has killed over 1500 Americans and maimed another 11,000. Then there'd be no need to investigate."
--Paul Waldman, on the never-ending investigation by independent counsel David M. Barrett into
allegations that Henry Cisneros misled the FBI about money he paid to a former mistress, Attribution

Excerpt:
An alcoholic cousin of an aide to Ahmed Chalabi was the key source in Bush's rationale to go to war in Iraq.

According to a US presidential commission looking into pre-war intelligence failures, the basis for pivotal intelligence
on Iraq's alleged biological weapons programmes and fleet of mobile labs was a spy described as 'crazy' by his
intelligence handlers and a 'congenital liar' by his friends.

Supreme Court: Creditors Can't Seize IRAs
This has to anger those who want to steal every penny

Excerpt:
The Supreme Court on Monday ruled that creditors may not seize Individual Retirement Accounts
when people file for bankruptcy, giving protection to a nest egg relied upon by millions of Americans.

The unanimous decision sides with a bankrupt Arkansas couple fighting to keep more than $55,000
in retirement savings. As a result, IRAs now join pensions, 401(k)s, Social Security and other benefits
tied to age, illness or disability that are afforded protection under bankruptcy law.

IRAs should not be treated any differently because the benefits are tied to people's age, the court said,
citing a substantial tax penalty that is imposed for withdrawals before a person turns 60.

This new bankruptcy law is so incredibly flawed, surely a congress with a brain (or a heart) will
come along and amend it. But for now - go figure the whore Supreme Court did the right thing?

Also, do you think Bush wants to privatize Social Security so his wealthy banking friends
can seize that if you've had a major medical/financial setback?

"He has taken the occasion of the most devastating attack on U.S. soil to drone on about how
his baseball bat was taken from him as a child headed to one of Franklin Roosevelt’s Japanese
internment camps....Good God!   A guard took his baseball bat as a child, and as a result he’s
subjecting all of America to the Bataan Death March! Somebody please give him a baseball bat."
      --Ann Coulter, accusing Norman Mineta of being consumed with hatred for America, and belittling
          his experiences in Japanese-American internment camps during World War II,     Attribution

First Lady Laura Bush stated that she and the President as well as their parents all have living wills
in case they become incapacitated like Teri Schiavo. So - what is in their living wills?

Do they want to be kept alive in a permanent vegetative state or do they want to be allowed to die?
It seems to me that in preparing a living will that the Bush's don't want the government, congress,
Terry Randal, and Jesse Jackson to make the decision for them. They want the family to make that choice.

"I think it's fun to talk about but I mean, you see a guy in a pickup truck
with a rifle and a Confederate flag, and you know how he's going to vote anyway."
--James Carville, on a survey of new-car buyer's political leanings, Attribution

CIA 'Reform' -- or Just Sack 'Em All
by Robert Parry as seen on consortiumnews.com

Excerpt:
If the American people want to prevent another intelligence failure like the one that has sent
more than 1,500 U.S. soldiers to die in Iraq, it will take more than just shaking up the CIA.
Much of Washington’s political and media elites would need to be sacked as well.

Former Sen. Charles Robb, represents another part of the problem: the go-along-to-get-along Democrats
(He means the gelding, pink tutu cowards) who did little to stop the Reagan-Bush-era politicization of U.S. intelligence.

But the crisis goes deeper still. The Silberman-Robb report, which faults the CIA for providing “dead wrong”
intelligence about Iraq’s weapons of mass destruction, was delivered to George W. Bush, who has built his
presidency on an unprecedented use of pseudo-facts over a wide range of issues, from the federal budget
to global warming to the Iraq War.

The Pope's Legacy

So far, I haven't heard a single TV pundit tell the truth about the Pope's legacy.
In my mind, the truth is, this pope sat on his hands for 26 years while his priests and bishops
went about covering up the thousands of child rapes they have committed over the years, decades, centuries.

He apparently just didn't want to face the truth.
He apparently chose to lie to himself while the rapes continued - and what kind of pope does that?

Under John Paul II, the Catholics have turned their backs on the "We promise not to rape" pledge.
If I was Pope, that would be rectified (no pun intended) the first hour after being sworn in, but then, they'd never
allow an anti-rape cardinal like me to become pope, because that would spoil their ongoing child-sex party.

They say John Paul might be voted in as a saint.
Like the Democratic Party, the Papacy very much needs some bartcop-ism.

Hersh said that his best guess is that [invading Iraq for] oil was not “the real thing he wanted to do.”
Bush couldn’t have sold “democratization” on it’s own, so WMD’s were used as the reason.
“If we had known there was no WMD, there would have been no vote.”

Hersh warned that when the price of oil reaches $68-$69 a barrel, this will be the crunch point in terms of
real economic decline. If Bush wants to move against Iran, which is pumping about 3.9 barrels a day,
he’s heading for trouble. According to Hersh, Iran will scuttle every ship in the Straights of Hormuz and
the Malaca Straits in Indonesia. It will take months of dredging and salvaging to approach normalcy.

If oil is Bush’s top priority, “Bush is just not behaving as someone who is managing an oil crisis”
and has already been “mismanaging oil in Iraq.”

Brian - think like a crooked president.
If Bush attacks Iran, they'll go crazy and block shipping lanes.
That means the price of oil will shoot up to over $100 a barrel.
Where's the bad news for Bush?

He'll say he invaded "just in tiime," his whore media will back him up while the rest of the world
will see another blatant invasion/power grab by the world's biggest nuclear bully with a hardon.
He'll stand before the flag and say 'The Axil of Evil caused this," and the flag will wave and
Lee Greenwood will sing and they'll hang Michael Moore (hopefully only in effigy) and Bush's
approval ratings will go almost as high as the price of a barrel of sweet Iraqi crude.

Jane says Vadim liked his chili 3-ways
I'm just glad it's not Election Eve

Excerpt:
Jane Fonda says in a "60 Minutes" interview set to air Sunday that she engaged
in threesomes with hookers and strangers to satisfy her first husband, French film director Roger Vadim.

Liberal Media Silent on Schiavo case
MSNBC ran story only 12 times an hour, CNN even less

Excerpt:
In addition to highlighting the evil rampant in today's media market, the study made some startling revelations
about FOX News vis-à-vis its competition. "Obviously we're the only news provider who really cares about life,"
explains FOX News Channel's senior correspondent Brit Hume, "and this independent, non-biased, intelligent,
unbiased, absolutely perfect, Fair and Balanced® study proves that."

In the last few days I have been working on the official position of the Church of Reality on death and dying.
Here is my initial draft on this issue. I intend to do more work on it and improve it.

With the Teri Schiavo case the issue of religion and death is an issue. Courts often ask what a person's religion is
in order to calculate what a person "would have wanted". It seems to me that the Church of Reality should take
a position to provide that kind of guidance.

And - if you are a church member but you don't agree with this
definitely draft the legal documents that make your wishes known.
http://www.churchofreality.org/death.htm

When this crisis hit the fan, I right away knew what to do. Science and logic works great with medical
techonology and when you add in BartCop ethics, well, what you have left is the perfect solution.

Those who want their useless, lifeless carcasses kept alive by modern wizardry when all hope is gone
because your dead ass passed fifteen years ago - get in your car and drive to your local DMV
and stand in line for three hours to declare, on the reord, "These are my wishes."
If you're not willing to stand in your state's DMV line for three hours, we pull the plug on your ass.

"We were not authorized to investigate how policymakers used the
intelligence assessments they received from the Intelligence Community."
--The WMD Commission, "The most important sentence in the commission report", Attribution

Well ...of course.
This administration is just one giant handjob after another.
Bush's job is to steal hundreds of billions of dollars and change the Constitution so he
and his friends can continue to steal hundreds of billions until the end of time.

She dragged me, I didn't want to go.
New homes for Republicans, $550K to $1,8M.
In Oklahoma, you can get a castle for $200K, so imagina $1.8M

This one mansion, big crowd in the master bath, the architect was there.
People said, "Dude, where's the faucet for the tub?"

He turned on the shower's water valve, ...and ...from the f-ing ceiling came a perfectly
formed pole of water that was visually stunning to a simple Okie man like myself.

No air bubbles, no "soda effect" it was just a clear pole of streaming water.
It was like a CGI waterfall, but I was looking right at it.

Plus, screw the plumbing and safety issues, the architect who thought of having the water
come down from out of the ceiling on some kind of easy-to-fool-Bart pure and perfect
see-thru stream of water thingy deserves a shot of Chinaco...

They will disapprove, of course, but the raping will continue for the little girls and boys. The body, mind and
spirit rape will go on, as it has in the past, and some of it is sexual. The “news” about pedopriests and
other “orthodox” abusers isn’t new. The sexual abuse is only part of the use of rape of body, mind and
spirit that allows the authoritarian institution to reproduce itself. The Roman Church has a cadre of non biologically
reproducing (officially) administrators. The requirement of celibacy was instituted some hundreds of years ago to
separate the administrators from having legal heirs to claim such property as they might own and thus deprive the
church organization of the ownership. “Salvation” is the product but “Sin” keeps the sheep coming back to the fold
and “Confession” keeps ‘em in line. Such a feeling of God’s Power must flow as they watch the sheep of the
congregation line up for fleecing! It beats shepherding since real sheep have only one coat to give each year
but these get in line every week.

The priest at the altar feels the power but he is both the abused and the abuser in a long line of victims. Few of them
become “princes” of the church; what keeps THEM in line? Righteousness, of course; blessed assurance and all that.
But nuns abuse orphans and priests abuse little girls, boys, nuns and the whole goddam population that are made to
believe the crap that they pass out. And some of it is sexual. The priests, nuns, deacons, preachers, elders, bishops
and the like are the reproductive organs of an authoritarian institution that I can only compare to THE BORG.

I lucked out in this flow of power and bullshit. I go to the Unitarian church that is a community. The Unitarians are the
inheritors of the Puritans. You hear the name “Puritan” and think of an oppressively orthodox “set” of belief and behavior
that would have Borg- like descendants. The “puritains” reacted against the “official” religions with a defensive purity but
they were also inheritors of the Enlightenment and the outlet to “the American colonies” delivered the FREEDOM that
they wanted. Just check in at a local Unitarian-Universalist assembly to check it out- go as a reporter, go as Atheist
and you might have a discussion with an Agnostic like me. There is no “conversion” process whatsoever. Two Unitarian
ministers signed the Declaration of Independence back when it was a hangin’ crime and your personal independence is
an article of faith. Well, not so much “faith” as a determination that your rights are rights for all. Tom Jefferson was
seriously Unitarian whilst his friend, Ben Franklin, was prob’ly Deist; not that there’s much difference, but there are
some good discussions to be taken with strong Sherry, as was the custom, or Chinaco in these days.

Dude, thanks for that.
It had never occured to me that the reason for the rule that priests couldn't marry was to keep
their property in the church instead of letting it slip away to a (they think) lesser woman.

Curveball the Goofball

Excerpt:
It is absurd to have yet another investigation into the chuckleheaded assessments on Saddam's
phantom W.M.D. that intentionally skirts how the $40 billion-a-year intelligence was molded
and manufactured to fit the ideological schemes of those running the White House and Pentagon

We don't need a 14-month inquiry producing 601 pages at a cost of $10 million to tell us the data
on arms in Iraq was flawed. We know that. When we got over there, we didn't find any.

Then the president appoints a compliant Democrat and a complicit conservative judge to head
an inquiry set up to let the president off the hook.

Please, no more pantomime investigations. We all know what happened. Dick Cheney and the neocons
had a fever (She means hardon) to sack Saddam. Mr. Cheney and Rummy persuaded W., "the Man,"
that it was the manly thing to do. Everybody feigned a 9/11 connection. Ahmad Chalabi conned his neocon
pals, thinking he could run Iraq if he gave the Bush administration the smoking gun it needed to sell the war.

There are some of us Christians who are looking forward to being in Heaven.
When the family of a dear friend of mine was told that she could never recover from her illness,
we gathered around her bed, and each of us told her how much she had meant to us, how we
would miss her, and how lucky she was to be entering into this new life.

She was in a deep coma, and when life support was removed, she never took a breath,
and she died peacefully. Our tears were for us because we were left behind. My children
know that I am looking forward to being reunited with their mother, and that I have no wish to have this
life prolonged artificially. I am reluctant to judge others for their beliefs, as I have struggled with my own.
Jesus taught that God "would have mercy and not sacrifice,"

Bill, I'm happy that your faith brings you comfort.
When John Jr. went into the sea near Martha's Vineyard, the Kennedy's remarked
how much their strong Catholic faith helped them cope with another tragedy.

Unlike those I criticize, I think everybody's faith is a private matter..
I think my outlook is more reality based than yours, but that's just an opinion.
If I ever take over this country, you'll have no government pressure on you to change your faith.
Thanks for the note.

Excerpt:
Since there's a lot of speculation these days about who will succeed Pope John Paul II, it seems a good time
to recall the circumstances of the last papal succession. Because Luciani Albini, Pope John Paul I, was almost
certainly murdered, by an international network of fascists and money launderers, with ties to far-right elements
within military and intelligence agencies. (And isn't it just amazing, how often we find that convergence?)

He only served 33 days; what could he have done in that short time to deserve death? What kind of Pope was he becoming?

It there is any doubt of the Masons’ influence in this country an incident with one the U.S. President should clarify the point.
This incident is not in most history books. If it is, the most important facts are left out. The U.S. Congress tried to impeach
President Andrew Johnson because he pardoned Albert Pike, who was a General in the Southern Army when they fought
against the North in the Civil War.

After the Civil War, Pike was tried for treason, found guilty, and sent to jail. Many of the Mason brothers used their influence
to get Pike pardoned for he was the Grand Master of the Southern District. Now President Andrew Johnson, being a Mason,
pardoned Pike April 22, 1867, but did not inform the press for nine months. Because of the Anti-Mason fervor in this country,
Congress impeached President Johnson in March 1867. During this impeachment hearing President Johnson, Albert Pike and
General Granger had a meeting for three hours in the White House. The General was summoned by the house Judiciary Committee
and asked about this meeting. William Still’s book stated that the General said the following. “They [President Johnson and Pike]
talked a great deal about Masonry. More about that than anything else. And from what they talked about between them ...
I understood from the conversation that the President was [Pike’s] subordinate in Masonry (p. 123).”

Shortly thereafter, President Johnson was given the fourth through the 32nd degrees of the Scottish Rite Masonry in his bedroom
in the White House. Now this shows the power and the influence of Masonry and its shows that the President of the United States
is subordinate to the Grand Master of Freemasonry.

"That's not the way the world really works anymore. 'We're an empire now, and when
we act, we create our own reality. And while you're studying that reality ...we'll act again,
creating other new realities, which you can study too, and that's how things will sort out.
We're history's actors . . . and you, all of you, will be left to just study what we do.''
-- a senior Bush advisor off the record,

That quote rings true with me, because that's exactly what they're doing.
While people are outraged about 9-11, Bush invades Iraq.
While people are outraged about Iraq, Bush destroys the environmental laws.
While people are outraged about the environmental laws, Bush destroys Social Security.

There's no time to think or absorb what they're doing - and they know that.
As long as they own the papers and the TV programs, they can direct public opinion.

Show 71 was awesome! It doesn't seem like almost 2 hours of program.
Your delivery is a crack-up, very listenable and entertaining.

Rick, thanks and yes, that's straight from the bottle
but it's more of a Chinaco kiss than a chuggin

Since February of 1996, when my ne'er do well felon friend taught me html,
I've used the Netscape 4.7 abacus to create this page.

This weekend, bartcop.com manager Chicago Jim pulled me kicking and screaming
into the 21st Century and this page is the first under the new Mozilla 1.75 system.

It'll be easier as I get more used to the new feel, but you may see some
imperfections on today's page - not the usual perfection you're used to.(cough)

Every day that goes by I'm more convinced we have a fascist revolution
taking power away from the rational people in this country.
Keep on swinging that Hammer!

Donation not required, but if you'd like to send a little something
to support the page, we would be very appreciative of your generosity...

Shrl, send me an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member - for free!
Catch you in Vegas at The Joint on your next American tour.

Curveball the Goofball

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