BartCop's most recent rants - Political Humor and Commentary - April 5-6, 2005 - Volume 1527 - Cloudtown, Bush's gas is highest ever, Peter Jennings' lung cancer, The Pope's legacy, Chuck pushes wedding back, Open letter to God, Russians verify Oct Surprise, Giuliani 'Too Busy' to Run, NPC welcomes Bush's whore, Bush Gannon Rove, Buck Fush

"...we seem to have run through a spate of courthouse violence recently and I
wonder whether there may be some connection between the perception in some
quarters on some occasions where judges are making political decisions yet are
unaccountable to the public, that it builds up and builds up and builds up to the
point where some people engage in - engage in violence."
--Senator John Cornyn (R-TX) who seems to be seconding Tom delay's suggestion that
judges need to be taught a lesson for not being radical-right sons of bitches, Attribution

Bush's gas prices are the highest in history
It's going over a hundred - bet your savings on that

Excerpt:
"World oil prices hit fresh historic highs, climbing above 58 dollars a barrel in New York
on tight supplies, as OPEC began consultations to consider raising output by 500,000
barrels per day. New York's main contract, light sweet crude for May delivery, struck a
record intra-day high of 58.28 dollars in early deals amid worries over US refining capacity
and the continued fallout from a study that indicated prices could hit 100 dollars, analysts said."

Excerpt:
Prince Charles' wedding to that woman — beset by problems since it was first announced
— now has been postponed a day to avoid conflicting with the funeral of Pope John Paul II.

The wedding, which had been scheduled for Friday in Windsor, will be held Saturday,
Buckingham Palace announced Monday after the Vatican set the pope's funeral for Friday.

Hey Chuck, I got a hot tip for you - nobody likes this marriage.
It's the most unpopular celebrity marrige in decades. You should've hopped a
Southwest Airlines flight to vegas and boom, it's over with and everybody'd happy.

"You never know..."
--Newt, when asked about a run for the White House in 2008 Attribution

The other legacy of John Paul II I don’t see the media talking about: how his medieval policies
on birth control perpetuate a system of poverty and disease in poor Catholic countries.
The one thing that goes with poverty the world over is the inability of women to control the number of children they have.

For twenty five years progressive Catholics like my wife and I have tried to hang on to an old faith because of community and the love it brought to many. But the more I read and the further to the right this vatican circle-your-wagons went the more we became disillusioned. My studies have lead me to the writngs of the Jesus seminar in California. The old and new "testaments should be abandoned as the pinnacle of reverence. They are fictions and political statements made to protect an all male hierarchy. Is it not interesting how W. used his appeal to most Vatican efforts to his political advantage.

Right wing evangelism has been used by powerful interests in this country to destroy democracy. This head pastor, with his strange and tragic upbringing was not what "Christianity" needed to break from its two thousand year shackles. The Rabbi Yeshua never meant for this to happen to religion. Joanna Manning is right about this Polish bishop in her book "Take Back The Truth: Confronting Papal Power and The Religious Right". After his quest to destroy Communism he goes after secular humanism and feminism??? What a shame to have a deranged pope to take us into the 21st century. How easily he fit into the power structures of the world.

This vatican would certainly have handed over Jesus to Texas governor W. Bush to be electrocuted. W. would not have recognized him. I know Bart would have.

i've been waiting for someone to finally come out and say it and you did. thank you.
We now have to listen for a month at least while they bury and elect a new one. who cares.
Anyway i can always count on you to say the things i'm thinking.

lin

"Bush was asked about the literacy problem. He said, 'We can solve the literacy
if every American picked up just one piece of paper every day and put it in the trash"
--Jay Leno, Attribution

Russian Report on 1980 October Surprise
by Robert Parry as seen on consortiumnews.com

Excerpt:
This document -- a "confidential" cable from the U.S. Embassy in Moscow -- is a translation
of a report sent on Jan. 11, 1993, from the national security committee of the Russian legislature
to a U.S. House task force that was then investigating the so-called "October Surprise" controversy.

That case centered on allegations that, during the summer and fall of 1980, the Reagan-Bush campaign
conducted secret negotiations with Iran's Islamic fundamentalist government, which was holding 52
Americans hostage. The lingering crisis sapped Jimmy Carter's political strength and cleared the way for
Ronald Reagan's historic victory. The hostages were freed immediately after Reagan became President.

The Russian assistance was requested on Oct. 21, 1992, by the House task force chairman,
Rep. Lee Hamilton, D-Ind. The Russian report asserted that the allegations of secret Republican
negotiations with Iran were true. But the Russian report was never released by the task force,
whose public findings reached the opposite conclusion.

Excerpt:
Jennings, 66, told ABC News staff members of his diagnosis Tuesday morning
and said he will continue to anchor the broadcast when he feels up to it as he begins chemotherapy.

He last anchored "World News Tonight" Friday and was too ill to work Saturday during the network's
special report on Pope John Paul II's death.

"There will be good days and bad, which means some days I may be cranky and some days really cranky,"
he told ABC News employees in an e-mail.

Aide: Giuliani Too Busy to Run for Office
Another lie from a man who can't stop lying

Excerpt:
Giuliani's top political aide said Monday it won't be possible for him to run for governor
or challenge Hillary's re-election bid next year.

"Right now, with all the commitments he has here ... I just see the commitment as too great
to undertake any sort of run within the next year," aide Anthony Carbonetti told The whore AP.

Second, Rudy might be someone who "never says never," but his party says "never" all the time.
Rudy can't run for office anywhere except New York because he's pro-choice, he's anti-guns and he
doesn't think gays are some horseshit "abomination from God" like his monkey party leaders.
Rudy can't run because he's a little too sane for the 19th Century Republican party.

The National Press Club welcomes...Jeff Gannon?
Why does Bush's hooker get a press pass? What does he have on the BFEE?

Excerpt:
"The Press Club's Web site, however, does not tout the event as focusing on Gannon
but rather the differences between "bloggers" and "journalists." John Aravosis at
Americablog, which first reported the Press Club event, wrote: 'What is GannonGuckert
doing there at all? Like he's an expert on the difference between blogging and journalism?
How so? He thinks journalism means parroting press releases and transcripts. As for blogging,
again, he started a so-called blog 3 weeks ago and now he's representative of all bloggers?'"

"The essence of civilization is to ensure that you protect the weak against the strong.'
And you say, if that's the criteria, you've got a highly uncivilized administration."
--Cornel West, on America's murder monkey, Attribution

Excerpt:
The last election, I’ll admit, was the first election I’ve voted in. I’ve never trusted politics or politicians,
but then again getting Bush out was a prime motivator. Previous to casting my ballot I was a Dean supporter
and agreed with the Good Doctor’s views at the time. Then the scream, the merciless media edit that they
pummeled everyone with for days till he was relegated to the sidelines. The shift of support was then put
behind Kerry, but he got caught in all the wrong photo ops.

Subject: bartcop on book cover

Hey, you probably already know this, but your site's URL appears on the cover
of a fantastic (yeah, right) new book. Check out this link to DailyKos:

http://69.9.161.200/

Kos is talking about a new book by Byron York of the National Review entitled
"The Vast Left Wing Conspiracy" in a post from April 5, 2005. If you look at the
picture of the book cover just by the name of the author you can make out 'BARTCOP.COM'
behind the 'YORK'. So, now that you've been outted, how can I become a part of this?

Clayton

Clayton, whoever this sackless writer is, if he mentions bartcop.com and fails to mention that
I've been waiting years for some Bush sympathizer to get in a live chat room to defend said bastard,
it'll just be more proof that they can't win without lying.

Republicans are gutless fools who win debates by turning down the other guy's volume.

Bono and the Pope

Excerpt:
Bono discovered another facet.

"He had mischief in his eyes as well as godliness," he says. "If the Catholic Church is the glam rock of religion,
this guy was just the most vivid of performers."

While they were seated together, Bono noticed the pope staring at him. Concerned that his powder-blue "fly shades"
were an offensive accessory, Bono removed them. When Bono approached, the pope continued eyeing the sunglasses.

"So I asked if he wanted them," Bono said. "He not only nodded, but he put them on and made the wickedest smile.
It was a great moment for a lot of reasons, and one of them was, I thought, 'We'll be on the front page of every newspaper.'
I don't mean me, but our issues. I knew what a picture of the pope in sunglasses was going to do."

Many photos were taken. None surfaced. "The Vatican courtiers didn't have the same sense of humor as the pontiff,"
Bono said. "They could imagine the T-shirts. We'll never see those photos."

I realize I don't have any right to ask you for a favor, because over the years I've kinda,
sorta said a few things about You that You might not have liked, such as denying You existed,
but I need a favor and I'm hoping that You're as kind and forgiving as Your believers say you are
- and I really need this one because this is important.

Do you think you could see your way to break off some summer heat for Oklahoma this year?
We could really use some heat this year, Lord, like in June and July, if You don't mind?.

Last year, it barely got above 80 degrees the whole summer (and this is Oklahoma, Lord!)
and the corn came in small, as You know, and we need some BIG corn this year, if You don't mind.

So if You could, in Your glorious and magnificent way, remember to send some heat to the greater
Knuckledrag, Oklahoma region, I would really appreciate Your doing that, Lord. If you could
manage to allow some serious heat to come to an area once known as 'Baked Potato, USA'
I would, in return, deny Your existence less often - if that would do You any good at all, Lord.

As You know, the Tequila Treehouse gets dozens of hits each day, so denying Your existence less often
could result in an increase in population over the long run for that little cloudtown you run up there.

"Maybe somebody's long in the oil market."
--Dick Cheney's non-denial that oil prices could soon be $105 a barrel, Attribution

I'll tell ya, I'm OK now but yesterday I was in rough shape.
One of the cats had a problem, so I took her to the vet.
I had to grab the cat early, because they somehow know when it's vet time.

We get to the vet and I'm standing there 20 minutes waiting for some candy striper
to acknowledge that I'm there. Finally, one shows up and says they got slammed
and everything is running behind so things will take a little longer.

100 minutes later, we're done (It was only $225) but I still need to visit
another vet because this one has a "no compete" clause to get referrals
so here I go to the other side of town to wait on yet another vet.

(BTW, if the vet's making $200 an hour, and has people waiting days to get in,
why can't the vet hire more candy stripers so we can get back to our jobs?)

By now it's 4 PM and I'm finally headed home when I get stuck in the mother of all hail storms.
I've been in hailstorms before (this is Oklahoma) but never one like this. It sounded like
the Yankees were beating on my car with baseball bats. I was driving like a drunken Bush,
trying to either get thru the damn storm or out-run it, but nothing worked. For about 20 minutes
I drove and drove while the car was pummeled like it was a dark skinner at Abu Graib.

Finally, finally, I drove past a Sam's Club that sells gas, and I spotted an empty stall under the roof
of the Sam's gas station where I stayed for another 25 minutes as the hail pounded the whole city.

Good thing I drive an old clunker because my car got the shit pounded out of it.
But I hear you asking, "Bart, who gives a rat's ass if Tulsa had a hailstorm?"

I'm just explaining that this is why the page is late.
Everything has to go right for me to have enough hours in a day to put a page together.
A one-hour trip to the vet lasted 4.5 hours - just like my Bart's Law #4 example, enough to kill
the page for the day. When I get that far behind, all I can do is combine two days and tell myself
I have a jump on the issue after this one.

Mrs. Bart's car was beat to hell, too, so now I have to drive both cars to the can't-trust-anybody
insurance adjuster thief so he can (hopefilly) make me whole again. It's true - nothing is easy.

Comments?

Paris Hilton and Jayson Mewes (Jay and Silent Bob) to star in "Bottoms Up,"
a low-budget comedy from Blue Collar Films. Mewes plays a midwestern
bartender who falls for Hilton's character while working his way to Hollywood.

I like Jayson Mewes, the most foul-mouth in all of movie history.
But if they muzzle him, the movie won't be very funny. He should be free
to say every g-damn, lick-my-balls, mother-effing thing he f-ing wants.

Bart, here's a suggestion: Display the tip jar on every page.
I looked thru 3 pages and couldn't find the jar to send a tip.

I have it bookmarked now, but it'd be great to have easy access
for readers and listeners who want to send some extry every once in a while.

Donation not required, but if you'd like to send a little something
to support the page, we would be very appreciative of your generosity...

Shrl, send me an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member - for free!
Catch you in Vegas at The Joint on your next American tour.

Bono and the Pope

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