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In Today's Tequila Treehouse... Bush, Posada & Terrorism H'burton gets $72 Million  United dumps pensions  Lauren Bacall Bush & the UK War memo  Dennis Miller gets Fired Politics in a bloody mist Garbage on Dave  Bush not told of threat    Quote of the Day "I hope it's not Rahm Emanuel flying this    plane, (over DC ) ...or some Clinton aide."       --the vulgar Pigboy, scaring his stupid sheep          when they think Bush's life is in danger                                                 Attribution     Why do his fans take that from him?    Joking about a Clinton aid gunning for Bush    while the Secret Service scrambles to protect him?

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Quotes

"Today is National Small Business Day. It's the day we honor
  a lot of small businesses that used to be big businesses."
       --Jay Leno,
 
 

..

  Comments?

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 The New York Times has finally put the case of fugitive terrorist Luis Posada Carriles
 on Page One, observing that the violent anti-Castro Cuban's presence in Florida
 "could test" George W. Bush's universal condemnation of terrorism. But that principle
 already has been tested and failed.

 Without doubt, Posada - who reportedly has been hiding in South Florida for six weeks
 - is getting the benefit of a conscious U.S. policy of benign neglect, a Bush version of the
"I know nothing" approach made popular by Sgt. Schultz, the German prison guard in the
 TV comedy "Hogan's Heroes."

 If Posada were a suspected Islamic terrorist - not a CIA-trained right-wing Cuban exile
 - there's no question that the Bush administration would be showing zero tolerance for
 his presence inside the United States. Certainly, the U.S. government wouldn't be waiting
 around patiently for the terrorist to check in with immigration authorities.
 

 Note: Consortiumnews.com  is the most important site on the internet

  Comments?

 Subject: United bankruptcy is a preview of Social Security

 The United Airlines bankruptcy is a preview of what is going to happen to the Social Security
 system if Bush gets his way. All these years United was supposed to be paying into the retirement
 fund for its workers, but now is defaulting on its obligations. The same thing is happening with
 Social Security. For the last 30 years the baby boomers have been paying in excess Social Security
 into what is called a "Trust Fund" that Bush jokes is nothing more than an IOU. Our money we paid
 in is being doled out in tax breaks for the super rich.

 Now Bush wants to take our Social Security money and give it away to his crooked stock broker
 buddies who are going to invest it for us and we are going to trust that it's going to be there when
 we retire. But as you see more companies dumping their obligations on the tax payers while
 protecting the investor class it's clear that putting Social Security in Bush's hands would be
 a huge mistake. The Republican Party is looting the retirement system.

 Marc Perkel
 San Francisco, CA.
 

 Comments?

 Halliburton gets $72 Million Bonus
   Bart's Law #2 - Mo Mistakes equals mo money

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 The Army has awarded $72 million in bonuses to Halliburton for logistics work in Iraq.

 The Army said it had given Halliburton ratings from "excellent" to "very good" for six task orders for
 work supporting U.S. troops in Iraq.   The Army said its Award Fee Board in Iraq had met in March
 and had agreed to pay the BFEE bonuses for work it did they billed the government for.
 

 Who are the accountants traveling town to town in Iraq verifying this fake accounting?
 There are none, thanks to the violence and beheadings that prvent a independent audit.
 
 The more terror, the more death,
 the more money they get,
 the fewer oversight assholes to fool, bribe or murder.
 

 ...but that can't be right,
 because greedy oil men would never kill for unlimited money and power.

  Comments?

 United dumps 4 pension plans
  Before Bush, pensions were sacred

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 United Airlines gained a significant financial victory with court approval to dump
 its four pension plans but faces a tough challenge to win back the support of angry employees.

 While smoothing the path toward a targeted exit from Chapter 11 bankruptcy later this year,
 Tuesday's ruling inflamed United's unions, with some hinting at the possibility of strikes or
 other disruptive actions.

"Taxpayers had better buckle up because we will be in for a bumpy ride of bailout after bailout,
 as more and more corporations dump their pension plan obligations on the PBGC," said U.S. Rep.
 Jan Schakowsky, D-Ill., referring to the Pension Benefit Guaranty Corp. that already is operating
 at a more than $23 billion deficit, thanks to Bush and his billions-to-the-super-rich welfare programs.

 This debacle is screwing 120,000 current and retired United workers, including 62,000 active employees.
 

  Comments?

 Quotes

"A bunch of the news channels showed Hillary walking out all calm and cool and collected;
  everybody else around her was running for their lives and Hillary was just taking her time
  and walking out. Now, the Democrats have started to say -- if you've been watching any
  cable news, paying any attention, you're starting to hear just a little bit of rumbling about this,
  and it's going to grow louder as the day goes on. "  We need leadership. Did you see the way
  Mrs. Clinton calmly and coolly and collectedly walked out of there? That's the kind of
  leadership we need." Gag me! Puke day, but that's what's brewing now in Democrat circles."
    --Rush, very upset that Hillary didn't imitate the Panic Monkey and read "My Pet Goat" in a time of crisis,
                                                                                                                           Attribution
 

  Comments?

 Subject: Steve Stevens

 Hey man,
 
 So... Steve Stevens reeked ???
 He's my hero , man .............
 
 I'd like to see Del Castillo pull off REBEL YELL ..
 
 Love ya ,
 Mark
 

 Mark, actually, that's just my wacky writing style.
 Stevens was actually very good, but it seemed odd that in the middle of the Billy Idol show,
 he'd do a flaminco guitar solo.  While he was playing that, I thought it was strange that I have
 at least two good friends who could do it better, so I piled on - sorry.

 Somewhere I have recordings of Rick Del Castillo playing and singing Rebel Yell.
 I might even have video of Rick doing the lip snarl :)
 

  Comments?

 Quotes

"Why are you complaining about North Korea
  breaching the treaty if treaties are not binding?"
      --Hans Blix, asking Bush why he can cancel treaties but North Korea can't    Attribution
 

 Remember what they did to Hans Blix?

"Hans Blix is so stupid, he can't find WMDs in Iraq."
"Hans Blix is so blind, he can't find WMDs in Iraq."
"Hans Blix is just like Mr. Magoo, he can't find WMDs in Iraq."

 Yeah, it was all a big f-ing joke, until the 1600 soldiers died.

  Comments?

 Subject: Lauren Bacall

 What!?  No pic!?

 Lauren had more sex appeal when she turned 70 than any
 pea-brained silicon miracle on the big screen in the last thirty years.

 When she did her first promo pics the photographer for the studio
 said she was sexier in a turtle-neck sweater than any other actress
 he ever photographed even if they posed nude!

 Come on, Bart, how about a nice one for us fan boys out here.
 joe in Japan
 

 Joe, here you go.
 

  Comments?

 Bush asked to explain UK war memo
  Wait - you mean the Democrats came to work?

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Eighty-nine Democratic members of Congress last week sent Bush a letter asking for
 explanation of a secret British memo that said "intelligence and facts were being fixed"
 to support his bloody oil snatch -- long before he brought the issue to Congress for approval.

 On May 1, The Times of London published the minutes of a high-level meeting on Iraq held July 23, 2002.
 British officials did not dispute the document's authenticity...
 
 

 Remember Bush, again and again, swearing that he hadn't made up his mind?
 Remember how he mocked the Pope by saying "War is always the last resort,"
 when all the time invasion plans were being put into place and pity the foolish intelligence
 agent who suggests that Saddam wasn't about to attack us on a moment's notice..

 Why to Republicans and Religio-fundies not care when he lies to them?
 He was lying all along and the proof is out - and there's no outrage?

 They demanded that we turn on Clinton for having sex, but it's OK with
 Republicans and Religio-fundies if Bush lies 1600 men into their graves?
 

    Comments?

 Subject: Rummy and Saddam

 Hey Bart:

 Show 74 was biting, penetrating and entertaining, as usual.
 I have one thing to say, though:  You said something to the effect that
 no one was more angry at the Democratic Party than you.

 I don't have time to look for the past webpage, but you did say, at one time,
 regarding Kerry's rolling over like a prison bitch that:  "Think I'm angry?  Check out Elaine."

 Heh.

 ha ha

 However, that is not the point of this e-mail.

 At Unknown News, there is, on the wire, some rumor to the effect that Rummy made
 a secret visit to - guess who? - Saddam Hussein in his jail cell for the purpose of cutting
 a deal to the effect that if Saddam returned to Iraq and could "quell the insurgency",
 well, some compensation might be forthcoming....

 I don't know whether it's true.  I intend to look into this, but not right now.

 Your friend always,
 Shy Elaine
 

 Shy Elaine, I remember you :)

 I'm not sure the Saddam visit is a bad move.
 (I think it's accepted that it happened.)
 America is losing this war, drastic measures may have to be taken.

 I think the deal that was offered was that if Saddam could get the beheaders
 and suiciders to chill, they might let Saddam live out his life somewhere.
 This is Bush's "victory with honor" handjob.

  Comments?

 Dennis Miller gets Fired
  Former comedian sold his soul for Bush Beans

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 We will be introducing a new Business Day program at 7 p.m. ET sometime in the Third Quarter.
 I have spoken with Dennis Miller about these plans...and his strong preference is to leave his program
 immediately. Therefore, the final episode of "Dennis Miller" will air this Friday, May 13.
 

..
 "I went Nazi for Bush!"
 

 I wonder what nickname Bush gave him?

  Comments?

 Subject: radio feedback

 LOVED the latest show, great that you finally got some calls and answered them (that's been
 missing from the show and it brings a level of involvement that works for me).  I also loved the
 rant in part three of the show, where it sounded like you backed away from the microphone
 and really let loose. It was a "Randy Rhodes/Mike Malloy" moment, and worked a lot better
 than the more controlled anger outbursts you give.  It really gave a solid ending to the beatdown
 of the Democrat's begging for money, showing that you (and a lot of the rest of us) are just sick
 of the Dems running business as usual, limiting our choices, and not looking for new ideas that will work.

 My only criticism of the show is one on form...watch that you don't repeat yourself a lot.
 It's a good thing to get certain phrases to come back to, but try to keep from using the same phrase
 of outrage too many times.  The best example is Mike Malloy's show...he will say "Have I mentioned
 yet tonight now much I hate these people" on every show, but once he says it, he doesn't say it again.
 I also miss when you and Tommy would spend about 15 minutes going over a topic or two.

 Keep swinging that hammer, and get ready to watch me get schooled in poker in Chicago.  ^_^

 Cory Strode,
 The Best Dressed Man In Comics
 

 Cory, thanks for that.

  Comments?

 Don't be the only one without...

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 Subject:  Bart, you're totally out of line on 9/11

 I hate to hammer you like this, Bart, but you're full of shit on this one
 --though maybe you don't know it yet.

 As soon as I've finished giving you the red-ass over this, you will.
 jmowreader
 

  Click  Here

 Dude, I'm overdue for getting my ass handed to me.
 Good luck.
 

  Comments?

 Kansan Ancient Greeks Petition Education Dept.
  Residents want Zeusian Theory taught alongside Meteorology

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Ancient Greek Kansas residents are one step closer to righting a wrong, according to
 Clytius-Bob "Bubba" Diotrephes of Garden City.

"When I was in school nobody ever told me meteorology's just a theory," he lamented.
"If I'd known that, I wouldn't have doubted my religious convictions so much."
 

 Comments?

 Subject: U2 in Chicago

 I just caught U2 here in Chicago on Monday night.
 They announced beforehand they were going to shoot the show for the DVD.

 Bart it was one hell of an incredible night.
 I've seen the Stones, The Who, and Pink Floyd all live and no one,
 I mean NO ONE works a crowd like these guys.

 There is a connection that none of the others can match.
 Go see them when you can!

 Take Care,
 Matt the Pillar
 

  Comments?

  Politics in a bloody mist
 
  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Even by Iraqi standards, yesterday was a terrible day. At least 71 people lost their lives
 in several suicide bombings, outside Kirkuk in the north, in Tikrit and in Baghdad. Scores
 more were wounded amidst stomach-churning scenes of shattered bodies and charred flesh.
 The attacks again gave the lie to the optimistic claim, spun in recent weeks by US spokesmen,
 that the insurgency is waning, or at least is mounting a final desperate onslaught before
 acknowledging that the game is up."
 

..
"Thank you, Meester Boosh."

  Comments?

 Subject: Star Wars III

 Dear Bartcop:

"So that's how liberty dies· to thunderous applause."

 This line is from the upcoming Star Wars movie.
 The wingnuts will come completely unglued.

 E.L
 

  Comments?

  Quotes

"It's truly horrific, there are snipers everywhere, rockets, no food, no electricity.
  Today five rockets fell in front of my house...We are mentally exhausted."
       --Abu Omar, Iraqi father of three, on life under the Bush Occupation     Attribution
 

 I guess they'll let FOX News and talk radio write Bush's history, how his "liberation of Iraq"
 was the turning point that saved the world from 4000 years of religious insanity - or blew it up.
 

  Comments?

 Subject: radio feedback

 #74 is so great I can't believe it.
 Your rant on Al Hunt was so fucking great I almost, ...oh well!!

 Bart you are an absolute shinning light on the stupidity in this country.
 As you said, go after Coulter, Novak, Savage, Limpball(!), Hannity,
 Carlson, Scarborough, Mathews, Ingraham, ETC.

 Thank you for being yourself and take care.
 I'm going from $5 to $20 a month contribution NOW.

 Paul C
 

  Comments?

 Bush not told of threat until it was over
  He was ignorant of the danger, just like 9-11

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Late Wednesday, word emerged in wire service accounts that Bush was not told about the
 brief security scare and evacuations in D.C. caused by an approaching Cessna until after the
 incident was over. The plane, with two men on board, turned away, after violating the no-fly zone
 and coming within three miles of the White House. Bush was tricycling in nearby Maryland at the
 time but with his usual security detail and communications system. The incident touched off speculation
 about who would have ordered the shooting down of the plane and how closely Bush was monitoring
 the situation. Later it turned out: He didn't know about the threat as it transpired."
 

 The poor Monkey - they didn't want to scare him.
 I'll bet Condi held his hand while Cheney tinkled his car keys to distract him.
 

  Comments?

 Subject: Chappelle

 Hey Bart,

 Dave Chappelle has done an HBO comedy special.
"Killin' 'Em Softly" was done on HBO back in 2000.
 He also did an hour on Showtime last year.

 All of it was top-notch killer stuff, but The Man, Chris Rock,
 has had 4 HBO specials and an HBO series.  Rock's still the man.
 Trust me, I'm a HUUUUGE Chappelle guy, but he isn't Rock.

 If Chappelle is like Garbage (great with critics, loyal fans,
 quality material), then Chris Rock is U2 (a giant in the field).

 Daniel in H-Town
 

  Comments?

 Subject: new page sux

 Hi Bart,

 You sure you aren't glossing over the complaints about your New Page?
 It is horrible, and unreadable.

 Please don't try to fly with ass-kissers and non-boat rockers on this one:
 You know how that ends up...

 New Page looks, and reads, like a NUTRITION label;
 and is just as interesting - no matter what the content.

 I have used Microsoft FrontPage for years, to create auctions on eBay.
 Your present page design is a cinch to create.

 Don't know what you "have" to go through now to post each day's important work;
 but, the fact is - the site's current layout is a breeze with MS FrontPage; and eminently
 searchable by Google. It's just text and jpegs, for Koresh's sake. No big deal......

 If you want to test this theory, and run it by other web-page publishing readers,
 I will be happy to simply click "Edit" on my browser (which opens MS FrontPage),
 and send you the MS FrontPage file for that page.

 Screw "knowing" html - it's been automated for YEARS.

 <Ink/Flink/Dink> Who cares what that means in html?
 FrontPage or some similar program knows that stuff; already.
 Just learn a few routines, and the rest is: enter text and paste images.

 Thank you very much Bart,  for standing up and protecting the USA
 GuitarBob
 

 Bob, we haven't launched the new page yet.

 We're in this interim stage to accomodate the blogads.
 The new page might premier this weekend or Monday.

 Y'know, I like a dude with strong opinions.
 You got 'em, and I enjoyed reading them.

 That "ass-kissers and non-boat rockers" stuff was sweet.
 But I don't know Bush about designing web pages, so I'm going with the people I trust..
 

  Comments?

 Quotes

"Abortion is wrong, there's no way around it. But the question then comes in, in the
  Baptist Church, how do I vote? Let me just say this right now: If you vote for John Kerry,
  you need to repent or resign. You have been holding back God's church way too long.
  And I know I may get in trouble for saying that, but just pour it on."
    --Rev.Chan Chandler, explaining his and Bush's view that women are too stupid to make
       their own decisions, that BIG government should make those decisions, instead,    Attribution
 

..
"I'm nuts about raping women's rights."

  Comments?

 TV Stuff

 Noah Wylie's last night on ER - is that show still on?

 Joey wraps up his first season with a 2-show special - is that show still on?
 
 Survivor runs its last regular show of the year, the finale comes this Sunday

 Maybe the second last C.S.I. with Gil Grisson is tonight.
 Tarantino, director of next week's 2-hour closer dubbed "Kill Gil," was on Dave last night.
 He says the last show will not be a cliff-hanger, that "when it's over, it's over."

 When I think about William Peterson leaving C.S.I., I'm reminded of the old, classic, black-and-white
 Popeye cartoon where he was talked into giving up his spinach. He opened the can and threw in on the
 back of a truck and as it drove away, the spinach cried out to him, "You'll be sor-ry!"

 Then Garbage on Dave!

 Last time they were on Dave, we were in a motel in seaside Oregon, October 2001.
 I'd like to see "Why Do You Love Me?" because it's the only song I've heard so far,
 but I'm betting they go with their new video, "Bad Boyfriend."

  Comments?

 Quotes

"The North Carolina preacher, who kicked out members of his flock who didn't vote for Bush,
  quit today...See, in his whacko world, those pesky rules really shouldn't apply to Reverend
  Chandler because he opposes abortion. He'll become some kind of martyr for the radical
  right wing nuts. We'll hear that if the Senate could just end the filibuster, Chandler would have
  nothing to worry about. He'd still have his job and those pagan Democrats would be gone.
  Chandler will probably be the poster boy for the nuclear option, because it's the evil filibuster
  that stands in the way of the theocracy. And, in the GOP theocracy, all politics will be religion
  and all religion will be politics."
       --Joe in DC, "Preacher Who Kicked out Dems. Quits",   Attribution
 

  Comments?

 Subject: Chris Rock the man?

 Hey Bart,

 We've had this discussion before.
 While Chris Rock has his moments (even a broke clock
 is funny twice a day); he is not now, nor will he ever be the MAN.

 I saw Richard live, in his prime. Richard Pryor was the Beatles of comedy.
 He was THAT good. He was THAT much different, that much better than the others.
 Think "Heart Attack" sketch.

 What has Chris Rock done that's anywhere near that effin' funny?
  Look, I'm happy for Rock's success. And I hope Dave can pull it together,
 and not be overwhelemed by his success.

 But Richard (even 20 year old Richard), is STILL the Man.
 Michael
 

 Mike, I agree but Richard Pryor stopped working.
 He can't do Kobe jokes, and R Kelly jokes, and Bush Monkey jokes.

 Chris Rock holds the crown until somebody snatches it away from him.

  Comments?

 Subject: ignore Ann Coulter

 Yeah, I know: stop paying attention and she'll just disappear, right?

 It sure worked for Kerry.
 He just ignored those swift boat liars and went windsurfing and...

 Hey! Wait a minute....

 I even heard that back in the twenties and thirties most reasonable,
 sane Germans thought that the Nazis would go away if they just ignored them.

 Worked just about as well, then, too.
 Drew in CT
 

  Comments?

 Jennifer Garner...

..

 impregnated by this man...

..
        my good friend Ben Affleck
 

  Click  Here

 I know Ben remembers me, because I gave Pearl Harbor
 the only good review it got - and Ben wrote to say thanks.
 

..
   "Aflack!"

  Comments?

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