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"A modem, a smart mouth and the truth." Established Feb. 1996 |
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Wed-Thurs July 12-13, 2006 Vol 1798 - Fund fun
 Quote of the Day "So much of that stuff was overblown...
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In
Today's Tequila Treehouse...
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The net's best advertising deal
Reach over twenty people per penny.
advertise on bartcop.com
Quotes
"Let's forget about global warming and talk
about flag burning and gay marriage.
I don't know how long you can milk
that old cow."
-- Bill Clinton, 'GOP
strategy is weak', politicalwire.com
Pinochet's
Mad Scientist
by Sam Blixen
Excerpt:
New allegations in Chile have implicated ex-dictator
Augusto Pinochet in smuggling cocaine to the
United States in the 1980s, when he was a close
ally of Ronald Reagan and George H.W. Bush.
According to a court filing by one of Pinochet's
former top deputies, Pinochet used a government
scientist named Eugenio Berrios for the cocaine
production. Berrios also allegedly manufactured
poison gas for assassinations of Pinochet's enemies.
But Pinochet's "mad scientist" became a
mystery himself, 13 years ago when he disappeared
before being tortured and murdered.
Note: Consortiumnews.com is the most important site in the Internet
Quotes
"Let's be sure we count every vote in our elections.
This country deserves to have
an electoral system that has integrity.
I know there's been a problem here in Ohio,
and I hope everybody from Ohio is watching
this election like a hawk. Don't let them
pull anything over your eyes again.
One of the people running for high office is actually
running the election. It's a
conflict of interest...We've got to take back our democracy.''
-- Hillary Clinton, turning the heat on Ohio's crooked Secretary of State
Ken Blackwell, Link
Israel rolls
into Gaza
Somebody could get hurt
Excerpt:
Israeli tanks and troops poured into the central
Gaza Strip on Wednesday, expanding a
two-week-old offensive aimed at recovering a
captured soldier and stopping rocket attacks
by Palestinian militants.
To the sound of gunfire, dozens of armored vehicles
trundled into Gaza down the same road
from which troops pulled out less than a year
ago, when Israel abandoned the territory after
38 years of occupation.
Israel is "pot committed" to this fight.
In poker, when everything goes bad, you lose your money and leave.
This ain't poker, but it's played the same way.
Israel keeps raising and the "Palestinian militants"
keep calling.
Wednesday, the "militants" grabbed 2 more Israeli soldiers.
Losing two more trying to save one is bad chip management.
"Unka
Dick, why doesn't that Greg Palast fella
just tell his Palastinians to release that soldier?
Quotes
"The war in Iraq is shameful. You've got to
admit it: Bush lied. And he continues to do so.
I can't understand why he's just not
run out on a rail. To send somebody's kids off and
have them killed for no good reason
- he's going to have his day in hell for that. I wouldn't
want that karma."
--Tom Petty, nydailywhore
Subject: power grab
Bart, you wrote
> Sometime during the Monica "Constitutional
crisis," some Neocon realized that,
> with the Russian bear tired and sleepy,
the world was theirs for the taking.
You need to read Nixon's 1991 book, "SEIZE THE
MOMENT", in which he fires
the starting gun on America's right-wing world
power grab.
These bastards have been working on this endless
murder spree for a long damned time!
Tim in Ky
50 Questions to ask a Bush fan
Excerpt:
1. What are the Top Seven best things that Bush
has done?
2. Is the Iraq War is going well?
3. When might Iraq "stand up" so that America
can "stand down"?
4. How would you rate Bush's protecting New Orleans?
I think one question would do the trick:
"Why did Bush invade Iraq?"
The liars change their reasons so often, it'd be interesting to see
which reason a ditto-monkey gives for the 2544 dead soldiers.
Another bad gamble - all those lives to disarm a "threat" that wasn't
there.
Subject: Haditha "errors"
Bart,
Looks like the real "error" was taking their urge
to commit atrocities outside the barracks.
I mean gee, if those monst- I mean, "brave" soldiers
had adhered to the status quo of
sexually assaulting their fellow women-in-arms
then we'd never have heard a thing about it.
Beth in NC
Quotes
"President Bush and Jessica Simpson were born
in the same week,
maybe there is something to this astrology
stuff."
-- Jimmy Kimmel
The vulgar Pigboy's Sex Life
Excerpt:
I know that the last thing anybody wants to think
about first thing in the morning is Rush
with an erection. But, as Todd and Ian point
out, Rush has been rather hard on medical
marijuana users and people who bring drugs into
this country. So I'm disinclined to avoid
speculation where Rush in concerned.
John points out over at Americablog, it feels
like there's something missing from the story.
I've been waiting for someone to point it out;
ask the obvious question.
What was Rush doing in the Dominican Republic?
Sex with
Children?
Shame on the vulgar Pigboy
Quotes
"This just in, breaking news from Hell,
Ken Lay has just swindled Zarqawi out
of his 72 virgins."
-- Dave Letterman
Subject: Der Monkey and funerals
Bart, last issue, Kevin wrote:
> Bush continually refers to his presence
at the funeral
> of the kids he kills as an "honor"
to the dead.
Kevin, it is worse than you think, buddy.
Bush boasts of never having attended ANY of the
funerals of the kids he's murdered.
Bush hasn't even visited any of the plane loads
of flag drapped coffins as they return.
He variously claims attending funerals 'would
be a distraction,' and, 'How do I decide
which funerals to attend? If I attend one,
I'd have to attend 'em all.'
The revulsion I feel for this cretin, Bush, makes
me more nauseous than the chemo.
Be well,
Alvin in L.A.
Odd that riding his bike isn't a "distraction,"
nor are the never-ending fund-raisers.
Deficit of Candor
Excerpt:
Bush had a great time patting itself on the back
yesterday over his stewardship of the federal budget.
He went to the East Room to crow that the deficit
is now projected to be less than $300 billion this year
-- 30 percent lower than what the administration
had forecast in February. As a result, Bush proclaimed,
the administration is a full year ahead of schedule
on its goal of cutting the deficit in half by 2009.
But this a phony goal.
What's important is getting the federal budget
on a sustainable fiscal course for the long term.
Yesterday's news doesn't get the country closer
to that objective. Assuming the administration's
projections prove accurate, spending will outstrip
revenue in every year through 2011 -- the end
of the administration's budget window.
Clinton did the exact opposite:
He'd forecast good news, and when the numbers came in, they
were better than predicted.
What Bush is doing is predicting twenty stab wounds, and when we only
get stabbed 18 times,
he crows about what a great protector he is for America.
Subject: Centrist argument
Hi, Bart.
I think the idea centrists have it easier is bullshit.
Centrists don't get the comfort that extremists
have in that extremists know automatically
what the "right" viewpoint is on a subject before
a single neuron fires in their brain.
These are the people who scream and yell and
don't bother to stop and listen.
Centrists are folks who listen and think before
they respond.
They might be known to change their mind once
in a while, too.
It ain't easy to admit your wrong, and those
on the far end of the spectrum don't.
Brian in Mobile
Right-wingers always make it a contest to see who can get afrther to
the right.
That's why Michael Savage has to be a bigger prick that Rush the vulgar
Pigboy.
Sadly, it's infected our side, too.
Who the most leftist lefty on the left?
Who knows, but we know it's not *her* and that's why we should hate
her.
Marty's Entertainment Page
always has good stuff.
Click The E!
Keith claims he can play guitar
Excerpt:
Keith Richards says, despite the brain injury
he suffered after falling from a coconut tree,
despite the decades of hard drug abuse, he still
thinks he can manage to play his guitar
well enough to pull off those complicated riffs
he wrote back in the early sixties.
The Stones were to resume their "A Bigger Buck" tour Tuesday in Milan, Italy.
Asked what he's been doing since the fall, Richards
responded,
"I recovered. ... Six weeks, I mean not bad for
a brain job."
Why I Like
to Beat Up Women
John "Mr. Conservative" Fund is going to trial
"I
beat women - Got any?
I belong in f-ing jail, where real men
could teach me some manners."
Excerpt:
Fund, scumbag supreme and a former Whore Street
Journal editorial writer who also appears
as a living Nazi on Fox News, MSNBC and CNN,
is accused of battering his then-girlfriend.
The bizarre story started in 1999, when Fund became
involved with Morgan Pillsbury.
As the romance soured, she made accusations of
physical and emotional abuse.
She has also blamed the staunch pro-lifer for
a traumatic abortion.
What a scumbag Fund is, beating up my good friend Morgan Pillsbury.
When they started fighting this scumbag kidnapped her stuff animals.
Have you ever heard of anything so scumbaggy-ish in your life?
She got even - she had his computer password - and secrets
were revealed.)
ha ha
This trial could become a mountain of Fund fun.
Keep your eyes on AMPOL for all the latest Fund dirt.
"I
beat women - got any?"
I wonder if, ...after he's found guilty, ...will he have a heart attack
like Ken Lay?
Then he could beat up the women he runs into in Hell.
Subject: missle defense
Dear Bart,
From 1975 to 2004 I worked as a DoD contractor,
almost exclusively in the area
of anti-ballistic missile, and anti-missile defense:
DOT, HOE, SDI, KDEC,
Brilliant Pebbles, Patriot, GBR, NMD, and THAAD.
It is my considered opinion that these systems
don't work and, if they do ever
get them to work to any significant degree, they
can be easily thwarted.
I have argued for years that our 100 billion dollar
ABM system could be gotten around
via a 20 thousand dollar Cessna with an altitude
detonated nuke on board.
I, and many of my co-workers, called these programs
white collar welfare.
(withheld)
"Star Wars" is just another giveaway to the billionaire defense contractors.
Bush would give billions to Lockheed,
Northrup and Raytheon and they'd
give his campaign millions in return
and then they'd just spend the rest of the money.
And if, by some miracle the Patriot thing works,
some Al Qaeda handjob
will sail into Long Beach harbor with a nuke
on a rusty-ass boat.
Doug
the Pillar
Questionable outrage
Excerpt:
Does Bush believe his own accusations? If it
saw a grave danger in letting this information out,
it could have acted pre-emptively to keep it
from ever seeing print. Though there was no guarantee
of success, it had nothing to lose by trying.
True, that would have sparked a flurry of outrage.
But since when is Mr. Bush scared of being criticized
by the press or civil libertarians? The president
has a solemn duty to protect the nation from
attack. His decision not to ask a court to block these
disclosures suggests one of two things. The first
is that he knowingly exposed Americans to a
danger he might have averted. The second - and
more likely - is that he knew the revelations
wouldn't compromise our security. It's one thing
for Mr. Bush to claim the stories did great harm.
It's another for the administration to do what
a court would have required: Prove it."
Subject: Worst President Evah
Bart,
I just got back from a trip to New York, New Hampshire
and Maine.
I wore my WPE shirt in Manhattan, Sandown, NH
and Portland, ME.
I can't tell you how many people asked about
the shirt, gave me a thumb-up, smiled at me, laughed, etc.
Pile the pie higher, as families need to put food
on themselves.
Keep swingin'.
Cheers
Steve W
Subject: Kerry's e-mails
Maybe your moronic reader should have read Kerry's
e-mails.
They fight back against Bush more then anyone.
Dude, are you talking about John Kerry?
John Kerry, ..tall lanky guy, ...his bitch own
ketchup?
(Don't write, it's a popular joke...)
Did you really use the words "fight" and "Kerry"
in the same sentence?
Gosh, we live in different dimensions.
But you and the moron's ignore it because you
have the same stupid,
fuckin, boring act, going and going, and goingnzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
KSWANN4@aol.com
KSWANN4, for whatever reason, you have refused to maintain low tones.
Your plan is not well thought out.
Your feet are not on firm ground.
You have pulled on a grizzly's tail - and you're still
alive to regret it.
I advise you to look down, ...slowly step back and walk away.
Subject: my WPE t-shirt
Bart, people in Vegas loved the WPE shirt and
I have to say I had the most attention paid to me
in one day than I have ever had in my whole life.
It being a big Union conference 99 percent of
everybody there loved it. I wore it out
on The Strip and had lots of positive feedback.
This was my first trip to Vegas and I cant wait
to go again.
At
Quark's Bar w/ Salt monster and Gorn at the Las Vegas Hilton
Send in a picture of you in your WPE t-shirt!
American
Dream
by my good friend Chris Floyd
Excerpt:
The [Bush is not
a King] ruling has been hailed as a "victory
for democracy," the "light at the end
of the tunnel", a "turning point" in the long
struggle to reclaim the republic from the usurping junta
of the Bush regime. But we have seen these lights
before, and watched them fade. All the previous
"turning points" - scandals, atrocities, judicial
rebuffs, investigations, convictions - have only led to
more depredations; every seeming defeat of unlawful
power becomes instead a springboard for its
further advancement. There is no reason to think
it will be any different this time...if there is no
political will in the American establishment
to enforce the ruling, it will be nothing more than a
pretty ornament for the republic's coffin.
Subject: Clintonian?
Wait, what?
Is it now an acceptable insult to refer to Clintons
policies as being dangerous?
Are we to no longer laud his shirking of responsibility
as pertaining to terrorism.
Objection to facts not in evidence.
You can say Clinton went to sleep on terrorism,
you can say Clinton helped the terrorists get
stronger,
you can say Clinton was terror's greatest recruiter,
you can say Clinton lied us into a war that killed
2544 soldiers,
you can say Clinton lied so his warmongering
arms dealers friends could get richer,
you can say Clinton lies us into a war to prove
to his Daddy that he was no wimp,
you can say Clinton hired a gay prostitute to
feed him softball questions all the time,
you can say Clinton inherited a surplus and created
the biggest deficits in history,
you can say Clinton made secret, illegal deals
with Hitler, Saddam, Noriega and Hamas,
you can say Clinton traded Stinger missles to
terrorists only to get more people kidnapped,
...but none of that would be true.
There's a hole in your argument, boy.
Am I to understand that giving North Korean leader
Kim a couple of nuclear
reactors in exchange for a pocket full of mumbles
was a bad thing?
Clinton gave North Korea electricty because they
agreed, with inspectors, to disarm the nukes.
You call disarming a nuclear power, "mumbles?"
Methinks you have feces for brains.
I'm confused so please forgive me as I am learning
rewritten history as quick as I can.
I see you are too.
Dude, I wish our respective IQ numbers were closer
together.
Dems have lost their grip on reality.
I liked that for a while but it is starting to
be just plain scary and not at all good for the country.
Carsonmonk
ha ha
Democrats scare you?
With their "No dead soldiers" policies?
With their "peace and prosperity" policies?
With their "triple the stock market" policies?
With their, "How do we spend the peacetime surplus" problems?
Do you even realize that you voted for fewer government services
so Bush
could borrow from the Chi-Comms to give Barbara Streisand
a giant tax cut?
It's like, with all the bills you have, every time Bill Clinton is in
New York,
his limo service gets put on your VISA card - Carson's VISA
card.
That's what Bush is all about.
He sold the stupid people the idea that their lives would be better
if they transfered
some of their wealth to the can't spend-it-all bastards who make upwards
of $20M a year?
...and you voted for that?
Man Linked
To Enron Found Dead In London
Another coincidence? Like Ken Lay?
Excerpt:
A British banker who had been questioned by the
FBI in a matter related to the Enron case
was found dead in a park in East London on Wednesday,
British media reported.
The body of Neil Coulbeck, 53, a former executive
of the Royal Bank of Scotland was found
in a wooded area near his home. Police termed
the death "unexplained."
Iraq pumps 2,000,000 barrels a day,
(and that was before the 2003 Halliburton Upgrade)
times today's oil price which is almost
$75
a barrel
makes $150,000,000
Bush stole just yesterday
No wonder they were so eager to start a war
Bush's "Bring 'em on" death taunt is up to...
2544....2545
American victims
By Christmas, Bush will have killed
more Americans than his partner Osama.
Minimum
Standards
by William Rivers Pitt
Excerpt:
"The Bush administration, under duress, has finally
decided that the minimum standards of the
Geneva Conventions are worth paying attention
to. They did not do this because it is right,
because it is moral, or because they know that
doing so affords a small margin of security to
troops in the field. They did so because their
hand was forced, and there is no guarantee that
their words on the matter will be followed up
by actual deeds.
Subject: WPE and BCR
Bart:
Yo, big-up props and major shout-outs to you and
your crew for the t-shirt
(a show-stopper when shopping at CostCo) and
the BartCop Radio CDs.
As a DJ who produced and hosted reggae and heavy-metal
shows for community radio
in El Paso, TX., and Juarez, Mexico, I can say
unequivocally that you and Tommy Mack
drop major science with BCR -- quality, quantity,
and deadly hilarious content.
When the BartCop hammer falls, it really leaves
a mark.
Rastacruciana
Dude, thanks for that.
Donate $24
(or more) and get a 
3
months of 
3
x 2 = 6 BCR CDs
2 CD BCR
93 and 4 CD BCR
94
delivered directly to your home like magic
Twn hours of BCR
and 4
stickers,
..
..
..
plus 3 months
of BCR for $24(cheap)
PayPal to bartcop@bartcop.com
or
bartcop.com
PO Box 54466
Tulsa, OK 74155
South Park banned episode back July 19th
Excerpt:
One week after South Park's "Trapped in the Closet"
episode garnered an Emmy nomination,
and nearly four months after it was abruptly
pulled from rotation on the cable net, Comedy Central
has finally acquiesced and will allow the Scientology-skewering
episode back on the air.
Subject: Armstrong's problem
Bart,
Lots of union folks like me resent Lance Armstrong.
It has nothing to do with his riding a bike.
It has to do with him going back on his word
not to cross a picket line back in 2000. When SAG
and AFTRA (actors' unions) went on strike, they
asked celebrities and athletes to honor the strike.
Lance, Eldrick and Andre Agassi all said they
would honor the strike. Agassi kept his word.
Eldrick went to Asia and shot a commercial and
tried to weasel out of his scab status by arguing
he wasn't really crossing the line since he was
in Asia.
Armstrong went ahead and shot ads and said he
was a cancer survivor with a family to feed.
A millionaire cancer survivor who gave his word
not to cross a picket line.
A millionaire who claims to support us one day
then stabs us in the back the next and uses
his disease as an excuse for his duplicity really
grates on us.
Keep Swingin'
A Teacher in Jersey
Call
the all new, toll-free
1-800-530-2979
Get your opinion on BartCop Radio
GOP callers Welcome (snicker)
Del Castillo profiled on Telemundo Sunday
Del Castillo will
be profiled on Porque Amamos La Musica (Because We Love Music) this
weekend.
The show will air in the U.S. via Telemundo on Sunday at 9 a.m. and
10 p.m
Subject: Your hatred of Kerry is eating at you
Let it go.
DanA
Kerry's laziness and stupidity did great harm to Democrats, America
and the world.
I don't hate him for that, it's just a fact that can't be denied.
An extra thousand soldiers could've
spent Fourth of July with their families, but no,
they're dead because Kerry waved the white flag
of surrender.
Thousands of people in Iraq
would still be alive if Kerry wasn't such a coward.
The WTC towers might still be
standing, if our team remembered how to fight.
The trillions of dollars Bush
gave to his friends and the arms dealers could've been
used for Medicare and Social Security, but Kerry
wanted to windsurf instead of work.
America would've regained respect
around the world, if not for his cowardice.
America might still have a Constitution,
if not for his incredibly bad decisions.
Democrats won three consecutive popular votes in a row, then Kerry screwed
us all.
Now, the GOP gets to say we're the out-of-touch losers
because Kerry refused to
keep his promise to "fight for every vote."
He chose to surrender, instead.
Twice we've thrown in the towel "to
avoid a divisive fight."
That's why my money is on you-know-who.
She won't surrender like our last two "fighters."
Party at the Palms, Sept 16
Keira Knightley movie not in Dominica
Excerpt:
The only theater in Dominica won't be screening
"Pirates of the Caribbean,"
disappointing fans who live on the island where
the film was partially filmed.
Thanks to bartcop.com subscribers.
We know you work hard
for your money, so we take it as
a compliment when you throw some our way each
month.
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
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