As the clock runs out on the Clinton era, an accounting is in order.
The past eight years have brought us many magical moments. Recalling just a
few may best illustrate the singular achievements of our 42nd president.

In 1993, Attorney General Janet Reno barbecued 25 children and 55 adults at
the Branch Davidian compound in Waco. Seven years later, she sent a SWAT team
into the Gonzalez family home in Miami's Little Havana, to pave the wave for
sending young Elian back to a slave state. Net result: 80 dead, one in limbo
- but she did it for the children.

Starting out with the tried-and-true horseshit, eh?
Look how this donkey set this up: The total dead for the two incidents = 80.
That tells the ignoratti Reno killed 40 people each time.
It's important that Don Feder set it up that way because Elian was a great success
with no injuries except some guy who got scratched by a cop's watchband.

Now, the substance of the horseshit:

Senator Ralston Purina said Clinton and Reno were "100 percent innocent" in the fire
that Vern set to murder his children and his followers. If Purina can't be trusted,
we should withdraw Ashcroft's name for AG because Purina is his sponsor, you moron!

Sidebar: Purina also sponsored Slappy Thomas, the last ultra-unacceptable nominee.
 

Joycelyn Elders, the surgeon general from another planet,
recommended that schools teach masturbation.

No, you racist bastard, she's from Earth - she's just black.
And your statement was a lie.
There are no (zero) high school kids who don't know how to masturbate.
There's nothing she can teach them except the FACT that some kid can't
get pregnant or contract an STD thru masturbation.
You're right, Don Feder - pregnant kids with AIDS are better than masturbation.

Secretary of Health and Human Services Donna Shalala commissioned ads that
dedicated condoms to save humanity.

That's written "funny," so I don't know what you mean, but from your other writings
it's safe to assume it was more horseshit.

At Rambouillet, Madeleine Albright, the mad bomber of the Balkans, presented an ultimatum
to the Serbs she knew they couldn't accept, as a prelude to 78 days of bombing.

ha ha
Clinton re-wrote the rules of war and you can't stand that.
The maddog GOP said "You can't win with just an air war," and
"You're going to bring our young boys home in body bags."
You were wrong on both counts.

Suck on it.
 

Clinton's other foreign-policy triumphs included: sending U.S. forces to Haiti to
``restore democracy'' (something the island didn't have before and hasn't had since),

You're about to see the alternative, Sparky.
First time some outlaw nation starts a slaughter, Smirk is going to giggle and say
"We are not the world's policeman," and the press will run pictures of the dying people for weeks
while Smirky plays golf.  I hope you're still around when Smirk is forced to crumble.
If you think he won't, explain why his Daddy set the Somalia debacle into motion.
 

...bombing a Sudanese aspirin factory as part of the war on terrorism,

Excuse me, Sir, but the Pentagon, Air Force and Navy did that. If they "murdered" on Clinton's orders,
we have another My Lai on our hands and war trials should begin as soon as Smirk gets to work Monday.
You cheating whores love to make that arguement, but you forget who pulled the trigger.
Unlike Republican turncoats, I support our boys in uniform.
 

...Hillary planting a big wet one on Mrs. Arafat,

Oh, just fuck yourself, Don Feder.
Hillary didn't "plant a wet one" on anybody you snivelling bitch.
If I was there, you'd be picking up pieces of teeth right now.

So far, you've attacked Elders, Albright, Shalala, Reno and Hillary.
Whatever problem you have with women should be addressed to your shrink, not the general public.
Whatever problems you had relating to your mother have affected your social skills, Mr Dahmer.
 

...Bill enunciating the Clinton Doctrine (we'll go anywhere to
stop ethnic cleansing, whether or not it's in our interest to do so),

He never said that.
You make shit up.
Why do you need to make shit up?
Is it because the truth won't sell papers?
You're a whore, Feders.
 

...and Bill in Beijing enunciating the politburo's Taiwan Doctrine (let it sink into the sea).

What are you talking about?
Taiwan is doing just fine.
Wait until Smirk needlessly pisses off China.
This will become another "GOP victory" like Beirut.
 

Willie's wise words and witticisms could fill a book
- racial quotas (``Mend it, don't end it'');

Yes, yes, yes, we know how much you hate "the niggers."
Forgive Clinton for wanting to allow them to work.
 

...abortion (should be 'safe, legal and rare');

...and you think abortion should be unsafe, illegal and ubiquitous?
 

Hillary's ethics problems (``If everybody in the country had the character that my wife
had, we'd be a better place to live''),

It's the Barry Switzer Principle.
You can't get any cleaner than "never been indicted."
You can't beat Hillary's ethics, the best you can do is equal her innocence.
 

...rationalizing the first family's use of the Lincoln Bedroom as a perk for campaign contributors
(``Both of us lost a parent, and we just hadn't kept in touch with people like we should''),

Smirk has already confirmed that his campaign contributors will spend the night in the Lincoln Bedroom.
The press, of course, will not have a problem with that because those rentals won't have
anything to do with Clinton's cock,
 

...and assigning blame for the Oklahoma City bombing (``loud and angry voices'' of conservatives
in the media, ``whose sole goal seems to be to keep some people as paranoid as possible'').

"Government is NOT the solution - Government is the problem."
You know who said that?
Ronald Reagan and Tim McVeigh.
If you're not going to blame McVeigh for OKC, we can't have this conversation.
 

But it was the Monica Lewinsky scandal that pushed the president to the top of his game:
``I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Ms. Lewinsky,''

Hardon Kenny said in his impeachment referral that that was true.
That's why she called him "Big Creep," because he refused to have sex with her.
 

...(six months later) ``I did have a relationship with Miss Lewinsky that was not appropriate,''

Words mean things - get used to that fact.
 Webster: physical union of male and female genitalia accompanied by rhythmic
 movements usually leading to the ejaculation of semen from the penis
 into the female reproductive tract; also : INTERCOURSE
Hardon Kenny says you're lying.
 

``My answers were legally accurate,''

They were.
He did not have sexual relations with that woman.
 

``I don't recall,''

You mean like Reagan said 57 times when asked about selling sophisticated weapons
to terrorist factions like Hezbollah and Islamic Jihad?
If "I don't recall" is evidence of a crime, let's put Reagan on trial.
 

``It depends on how you define alone,''

That's very true.
In 1986, I was "alone" with JR's girlfriend, Deborah Shelton for ten minutes, but not "alone"
in the sense that we had sex, so it does depend on how you use the term, doesn't it, asshole?

But wait a minute...
Maybe there's something to this word twisting of Don Feders...

If there's only one meaning to the word "alone,"
...and that meaning is that the people involved had sexual intercourse,
...then maybe I did have have sexual intercourse with Deborah Shelton.
Yeah, ...that's the ticket!  Debbie, you were great!

 Our physical union of male and female genitalia accompanied by rhythmic
 movements usually leading to the ejaculation of semen from the penis
 into the female reproductive tract was a lot of fun!!
 Mr Feders says there's no other way to legally and accurately describe our meeting.

``That depends on what the meaning of the word `is' is.''

"Is" Michael Jordan the best player in NBA history?
The answer is "no."
He's not even in the NBA anymore, so is does depend on the meaning of the word is.
 

Others offered insights into the great man's character: In 1996, Nebraska
Sen. Bob Kerrey told Esquire that Clinton is ``a remarkably good liar.''

I'll be damned, you got one right without lying.
Kerrey hates Clinton and doesn't mind stabbing his party in the back to prove it.
Let's hear it for Don Feders, who's only 98 percent total horseshit.

The president ``has not a creative bone in his body. Therefore he's a bore and
will always be a bore,'' said David Brinkley.

That's two - opinions - you've characterized correctly.
But why didn't you quote the America voter?
 

Testifying before a congressional panel in 1999, Democratic bagman Johnny
Chung said China's spy chief told him, ``We really like your president.''

Outside of lying, nazi whores, Bob Kerrey and David Brinkley, most everyone does.
So what's your point?
 

Judge Susan Webber Wright ruled the president gave ``false, misleading and
evasive answers that were designed to obstruct the judicial process'' and
fined him $90,000 in the Paula Jones case.

Yes, that Republican had an opinion - everyone does.
 

And on Feb 24, 1999, Juanita Broaddrick told a national television audience that
in 1978 the future leader of the Free World raped her in a Little Rock hotel room.

Another claim by another publicity-grabbing, money-seeking opportunist.
 

The Clinton era is etched in our consciousness in words and deeds:
Mr. Feel-Your-Pain paying $850,000 to settle Jones' sexual harassment suit,

The Whore Court thought it'd be "cute" for Paula to be manipulated by right-wing haters.
We've seen how "impartial" those clowns are, so who is surprised?
 

Bill appointing Jane Fonda a ``goodwill'' ambassador to the United Nations
(a position she used to attack the Catholic Church on abortion and birth control),

Just today, Frank Keating attacked the Pope.
Either you can attack Catholics or you can't, but don't try to cherry-pick, you prick.
 

14 individuals associated with the Clintons going to prison over Whitewater and related crimes,

Bill and Hillary weren't even charged, so again I ask, what's your point?
 

China looting our nuclear secrets,

Objection!
Assumes "facts" not in evidence.
 

...then-White House spokesman Joe Lockhart describing Hustler as a ``news magazine''
(publisher Larry Flynt rendered yeoman service during the impeachment by leaking dirt on Republicans),

Everything Flynt revealed was the truth, something you wouldn't recognize, Mr. Feders.

...purloined FBI files,

Hardon Kenny says you're lying, again.
Hardon Kenny and Robert Ray say neither Clinton touched or saw those files.
Why are you attacking Hardon Kenny?
In an attempt to fabricate a charge against Bill Clinton?
 

...the White House travel office massacre

ha ha
Yes, so many died that day...
 

...and (when informed that her plan to nationalize health insurance might lead to massive bankruptcies)
Hillary responding, ``I can't worry about every small, undercapitalized business in America.''

So, in Don Feder's world,
Hillary IS responsible for capitalizing every small business in America?
Don't you have ANYTHING of substance to charge the Clintons with?

It's been a helluva ride. But though the Clinton presidency will soon be
gone, the memory will linger on - as will the stench.

Yes, the stench of peace and prosperity will soon be gone,
replaced by the pleasing, aromatic fragrance of war, recession, complete stupidity
and monster deficits that need a supercomputer to measure.

Mr. Feders, Rush has done a good job on you.