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Friday Oct 27, 2006 Vol 1865 - They've shot Lincoln!
 Quote of the Day "The idea of having a white woman winking
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In
Today's Tequila Treehouse...
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Visit redtractor-usa.com
"The best news in the field.'
Quotes
"I believe marriage is a sacred institution
that is critical to the health
of our society and the well being of
families, and it must be defended."
-- Dubya, threatening to leave Pickles if boys are allowed to play house,
Link
Yes, George - how can your marriage endure such
an assault?
Have you decided on a date to leave her?
Who gets custody of the alkies?
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Misreading
al-Qaeda on Iraq
by Robert Parry
Excerpt:
Peter Bergen, an influential expert on al-Qaeda,
says a long-term U.S. military presence is needed
in Iraq to thwart the terrorist group's strategic
goals. But Bergen appears to be basing his conclusion
on a misunderstanding of recent intercepted internal
communiques.
In a New York Times Op-Ed piece on Oct. 26, Bergen
argues that "a significant [U.S.] force must
remain in Iraq for many years to destroy al-Qaeda
in Iraq" because otherwise the group will turn Iraq
into a base for terrorist operations, an argument
that echoes campaign statements by President Bush.
But Bergen misreads Zawahiri's point. The radical
Egyptian Islamist isn't welcoming the prospect of
an American withdrawal so much as he is warning
Zarqawi about the dangers to al-Qaeda forces in
Iraq should the United States pull out suddenly.
Note: consortiumnews.com is the most important site on the internet
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Used with permission
http://www.mnftiu.cc
Quotes
"What's striking both in Bush's and Cheney's
attitude towards water torture is that it never
even occurs to them that there is a
moral issue here. It's a "no-brainer". Here we are on the
outside having impassioned debates
about the rights and wrongs of abuse and torture of
detainees and these two most powerful
men simply assume it's fine. Their only concern is
that they can find a legal euphemism
in order to lie about it and pretend it isn't happening.
And remember who their base is: Christians.
Orwell could not have invented this."
-- Andrew Sullivan, former (?) chief cheerleader for these torture-happy
bastards, Link
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Visit sendatee.net
The Boy's Third War
Excerpt:
There is a massive concentration of US naval
power in the Persian Gulf and the Arabian Sea.
Two US naval strike groups are deployed: USS
Enterprise, and USS Iwo Jima Strike Group.
The naval strike groups have been assigned to
fighting the "global war on terrorism."
Concurrent with ths concentration of US Naval
power, the US is also involved in military exercises
in the Persian Gulf, which consists in "interdicting
ships in the Gulf carrying WMDs and missiles."
The exercise is set for Oct. 31.
Maybe it's just a Halloween trick to scare us?
Soon, the post 9-11 era might be considered, "the
good old days."
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Quotes
"You ought to just
back off, take a look at it, relax,
understand that it's complicated,
it's difficult,"
-
Rumsfeld to war critics, Link
"Call
me when the stock splits!"
Exxon Mobil
makes $10B profit in 90 days 
$100M a day - all profit - because Bush started a fake war
$100M a day - all profit -
because Bush started a fake war!
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Subject: M.J. Fox a hero
Hi Bartcop,
Limbaugh has already pissed me off so much, now
that slimey piece of shit is attacking Fox?
Michael J. Fox will probably not be cured in
his lifetime, so the only he works and put himself
and his illness in the spotlight is to help others.
When has Rush done anything but shill for the
Nazi republican bastards?
Thanks Bartman,
Robert LC
Rush made all those millions off the fears and prejudices of the stupid.
If you're stupid and scared and Rush says, "The
darkies are coming for your daughter,"
you believe him and tune in tomorrow for more "saving."
If you're stupid and scared and Rush says, "The
queers are coming for your infant son,"
you believe him and tune in tomorrow for more "saving."
If you're stupid and scared and Rush says, "The
beaners are coming for your job,"
you believe him and tune in tomorrow for more "saving."
And anybody not doing that is "a
do-gooder fag, faking his illness."
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Bush's Defeated
Bluster on Iraq
by Joe Conason
Excerpt:
Fear of a humiliating electoral defeat has now
revealed the confusion and incoherence long hidden
behind the bluster of Republican war rhetoric.
As the White House and its congressional allies face
an angry America, the disturbing truth can no
longer be concealed. Waving the flag and questioning
the patriotism of critics don't distract the
public from their failures in military strategy, diplomacy and
planning. These shallow politicians have never
known what they were doing in Iraq.
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Why we Hate
the Clintons
Come Celebrate Bill's 60th! But Bring Six Figures
Excerpt:
Donors will have to cough up $60,000 if they
want to want to see Mick Jagger sing
and at least $100,000 for poached eggs and mimosas
with Bill and Hillary.
"I'm on Clinton overload," said one six-figure
contributor. "I'm not really
wanting to do this. I've been tight
with the Clintons for many years,
but I'm beginning to feel used."
Wow, Democrats are really that stupid?
This guy paid $160K
to be "used"
by the phony couple?
Why is Joe Conason's paper attacking the Clintons?
Writer John Koblin (rhymes with "knob-goblin")
hates them for raising money?
Maybe they should've had hot dogs and charged
$2
a plate?
We can fight the billionaire GOP
with $2
fund raisers, right?
Of all the people this Goblin handjob
talked to, apparently every one of them
hates the Clintons - but was willing to sign
up for $160K
a pop?
He
couldn't find any pro-Clinton people
at
the $160K
Clinton fund raiser?
Gee, that's almost suspicious.
How could Goblin not find ANY backers
there?
That's proof that they're lying - doesn't
that make you angry?
If their point is valid, why do they
have to lie?
It's almost like this Goblin fella had orders to slime the Clintons.
You may reach this hit-for-hire slut at: jkoblin@observer.com
Tell him Bart says he's a whore.
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..
..
Halloween
Special - Four for $*0
(Must be shipped to same address)
We have a few shot glasses left.
If parents acted like the Bush thugs...
Subject: Charlie Brown for Congress
Hi Bart,
I am proud to be a Charlie Brown supporter!
California Democrats adopted a Turn the red
counties blue campaign last year.
As individuals and organizations we have held
fund raisers for Charlie
in the 4th District and McNierney in Southern
California.
Direct campaign contributions instead of sending
money to the DCCC.
My motto is "the donkey kicks in '06!"
Keep up the good work.
Marion
If I lived near Sacramento, CA
the Lt Col (Ret) would have my vote.
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Subject: <<snippage for Bart>>
Excerpt:
My 2 questions are, HILLARY CLINTON is every
bit as bad as Nancy Pelosi when it comes
to CHOKING OFF the FIGHTING Democrat message...
but you keep lighting candles at her altar!
#2, you take a swipe at KEITH OLBERMAN's commentary,
as if it is too highbrow, academic-ese,
and intellectual.
Long-time pillar LJ gets a few things off his chest.
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We
had an amazing time at the Clinton Library in Little Rock...
John
& Tiffany
Random thought...
We talked about a Tequilafest Austin to see Del
Castillo?
Well, after a heavy touring schedule, they're
off the rest of this year.
Maybe we can do that early in 2007...
A possible substitute would be for some keen-eyed
person to watch the Clinton Library
for a time when He might be there and
we could all meet in Little Rock, play some poker,
drink some tequila and then go see the Big Dog
at his Presidential Library.
Hell, he might even play poker, but I guess we'd have to let him win :)
Anybody up for a Tequilafest Little Rock?
I could play like Nelson Mandela and show you the Catholic prison where
I did time...
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Newt Gingrich, Hypocrite
"I
want a divorce, bitch!"
approachingentropy.blogspot.com
Excerpt:
Smart as a whip, but dumb as a box of door knobs.
Who the hell is he to lecture anyone on anything?
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Quotes
"I have the biggest audience around; they know
what's going on.
I have 20 million warriors with me."
-
Rush the vulgar Pigboy, lying about Michael J Fox
He's lying.
He has 20M (maybe) listeners per week.
Using Rush math, Grey's Anatomy
has over 150 million viewers.
It sounds good, but it's just not true.
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Online Poker
is dead?
Not if you do it right
Excerpt:
Instructions for Bartcoppers.
1. Click the Full Tilt banner (easy)
2. Download and install the software (easy)
3. Create a new account and use the bonus
code 'friendofbart' (easy)
4. Fund the account. The tournament buyin will
be $5.50 (cheap)
5. Email the tournament organizer for the password,
rypublic@yahoo.com.
Be sure to include your new
account name when you e-mail rypublic@yahoo.com.
6. Register for the tournament and meet Bart
at the tables on Nov 1st
at 9pm Eastern.
7. It wouldn't hurt to show up early and get
a feel for the place. Look for 'bartcop"
If we can get everything working, we'll even offer a $25 "bounty" if
you're the player
who can knock out Ol' Bart, but that may have to wait for Tourney 2,
3 or 4.
It only took me 10 minutes to get signed up.
They wouldn't take my credit card, but they took my bank account info.
I played a tourney as a test.
First hand, I had pocket Kings so I went all in, figuring some mook
with an Ace-5
might want a piece of me. He called me, but the schumck only had 7-4.
I doubled up the first hand
You can make some real money playing the drunks at Full-Tilt Poker.
Also, it's my understanding they we have a 270 day grace period while
the asshole lawyers figure
the best way to screw our fun. Party Poker shut down all US players,
but Ful Tilt is charging ahead.
If they do crack down, it'll be on the banks, not you & me, so let's party while we can.
This is cheaper than flying to Vegas and renting a room at The Palms :)
So, anybody play poker?
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Want to trade links?
The
link page is bigger than ever,
thanks to Chicago
Jim
Put "Link me" in the subject header.
Maybe mention what section you belong in - news, humor, etc
Your link will be seen by dozens
Cheney confirms water tortures
Excerpt:
Dick Cheney has confirmed that U.S. interrogators
subjected captured senior al-Qaida suspects to
a controversial interrogation technique called
"water-boarding," which creates a sensation of drowning.
Cheney indicated that Bush doesn't regard water-boarding
as torture and allows the CIA to use it. "
It's a no-brainer for me," Cheney said at one
point in a radio interview.
Can we use those statements at his trial?
How can they let this election happen?
Is the fix already in place?
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Subject: Rush the Pigboy
What a great American.
He got out of going to Vietnam with a pimp on
his ass, and he wants to critize someone.
He said M.J. Fox wasn't taking his meds.
I don't think Rush was taking his oxcycodone either.
He needs to get back on it and drone out like
the drone he is.
SGT A
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The net's best advertising deal
advertise on bartcop.com
Mike Malloy Returns Monday
mikemalloy.com
has more details.
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Rush is faking
Excerpt:
Now, I know this may offend those who suffer
from this particular condition, and these
individuals might not like it much when I suggest
that a certain person with this diagnosis is
exaggerating his symptoms, but I think Rush Limbaugh
is just pretending to be a dick.
While the right-wing radio host does exhibit the
common characteristics of this behaviour,
it's so rare for all of them to coalesce at a
single moment that one can only conclude his
most recent performances are nothing short of
fraudulent.
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Minor Flood at Casa de Bart
Click Here to sponsor a $4 square foot of the floor of Casa be Bart
Click Here to sponsor three square feet of Casa be Bart for just $10! (cheap)
Thanks, you can send that to bartcop@bartcop.com
I didn't think we'd have a page today,
but it didn't take long to tear up Mrs. Bart's wood floor.
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Subject: a bet for bart
Bart,
I have a bet for you that you can't loose.
I'm gonna send you a check for $50, snail mail
(I don't have a credit card).
All I ask is that you listen to Neil Young's
new CD. It's free. Just go to Neil's Garage.com.
Scroll down till you see where you can listen
to the entire CD free.
Take the time to have a shot or two, maybe even
some of God's flowers
.
Listen to the words. If you can listen to it
without getting a tear in your eye
I will send you another $50. Even if this doesn't
have the same affect on you
as it did me I will send you the money because
I know you are busy.
The $50 is going out tomorrow 10/28/06. When I
get an answer the next check goes out.
Even if I don't hear from you the check is gonna
go.
So you win. $100 either way.
I just want you to listen. You can't loose.
Dave, Cincinnati
Dave, I enjoy gambling - you're on :)
I'll use that towards the Floor Fund
Thanks.
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Marty's Entertainment Page
always has good stuff.
Click on the E!
White House
denies Cheney's words
He didn't say what you heard him say...
Excerpt:
Tony Snow said Friday that The Dick was not talking
about "water boarding"
when he said dunking terrorism suspects in water
during questioning was a "no-brainer."
Der Fuhrer, asked about The Dick's comments, lied, "This country doesn't torture."
You know as a matter of common sense that The
Dick is not going to talk about water boarding.
Never would, never does, never will," Snow said.
"You think Dick Cheney's going to slip up on
something like this? No, come on."
In other words - are you going to believe Tony Snow or your lying ears?
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Subject: Exxon gouging
Exxon made another 10 billion dollars in the last
3 months while we pay 3 bucks a gallon at the pump.
Of course it's less than 2 weeks before the election
so now gas is only 2 bucks a gallon so that you
will vote Republican and protect these huge oil
company profits.
This is the elections and this is the only time
where the people can rise up and take our country back
from the oil companies. It's time to vote the
Republicans out, tax the rich, and stop Bush's wars for oil.
We can either stop them now or wait 2 more years
and let them become even more entrenched.
Let's vote for the people and throw the oil companies
out of office.
Marc Perkel
San Francisco, CA.
Correction: Perkel has just one home - on the San Andreas Fault.
It toggles between San Bruno and San Francisco.
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I always liked Boots
Jessica who?
Iraq pumped 3.5M
barrels daily before
Bush invaded
and then they got their 2003 Halliburton
upgrade
Bush's oil gouge, which is going to $100
a
barrel
makes $350,000,000
Bush
will steal every day.
No wonder they were so eager to start a war,
stealing $350,000,000 every day.
It's the biggest theft in Earth's history.
Exxon made
$10B profit in 90 days
$100M a day - all profit - because Bush started a fake war
Bush's "Bring 'em on" death taunt is up to...
2803....2809
American victims
Bush killed 6
soldiers since Wednesday,
but that's OK because
Exxon made $100M just yesterday
Why are the military families
so silent?
Do they still think their loved ones died for a reason?
What would that reason be?
Exxon
made $100M just yesterday
Meanwhile, Bush's war costs taxpayers
$2 billion a week.
He's the greatest president ever - if you have oil stocks.
Bush has killed more
Americans than Osama.
Quotes
"I believe Iraq will be able to defend, govern
and sustain itself.
Otherwise, I'd pull our troops out."
-- Der Giggling Murderer,
Link
Butt Monkey, how many thousands of soldiers have to die to test your
lil' theory?
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No livestock or stamps, please.
Random thought...
I have a question about those weird spammer ads in my mailbox:
Why are they always so gross?
They say, "Click Here to see what young girls do with farm animals."
I don't care to see that. Who would?
But if it said, "Click Here to see cheerleaders
in bikinis,"
I might click if it's a slow news day and I'm caught up with
work.
Clearly (I've been wrong before) more people would click for cheerleaders,
than for barnyard animals,
so why don't the spammers want more clicks?
Why appeal just to Republicans?
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TV Stuff
Ghost Moms
If you get a chance, watch my good friend Teri on Ghost Moms,
airing tonight on the WE Cable Channel - they get it in Tulsa :)
Then, send a bunch of letters and e-mails to the WE
Network saying
how much you liked the show and especially how much you liked Teri,
...but don't pull a Millie Helper and mail the letters before the show airs :)
World Series
If the Cardinals are going to win in front of their fans, they gotta
win tonight.
It's no fun watching a game when the crowd is silent, and in pain.
Leno has Kutcher
Is this the repeat when Ashton whines about being invisible when
he's seated at a table with his wife and the Big Dog?
ha ha
Big Dog has it in for Kutcher,
who has it in for Bruce Willis.
Las Vegas Returns
Sorry about last week's false alarm.
O'Reilly on Oprah today, Dave tonight
Last time, Dave told him he was 60% horseshit.
Bill Maher welcomes Harry Belafonte, Harold
Ford. (D-TN) and Arianna the Clinton hater
He tolerates blogger Andrew Sullivan and Christine Todd Whitman.
BTW, Sullivan is NOT a blogger.
A Nazi bastard with a blog is just a Nazi bastard with a blog.
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Subject: Godly torture
Bart:
Have you noticed that all/most of the world's
major religions, and certainly the terrible triplets of
Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, are all based
on torture? I mean, no matter how their practitioners
may say they feel about torture, they're all
perfectly happy to accept the "fact" that their supposedly
loving deity tortures most of humanity for all
eternity for whatever sins happen to strike its/their fancy.
As a recovered Catholic, you're more familiar
with the mortal sins than I am, but it seems to me they
range from things like murder (unless, of course,
it's ritually sanctioned murder) to the far more heinous
crime of not being baptized. The obedience of
the believers is coerced by the threat of eternal torture.
Nice.
Liz Mac.
Caths are so head-up-the-ass, tongue-kissing is as bad as murder.
And yes, God rules by threats, kinda like Saddam or Pol Pot.
But, like with Bush, they say, "God loves all
his children."
Also, like Bush, you're offered, "A carpet
of gold or a carpet of bombs."
Religions is blackmail - plus you gotta tithe 10 percent.
If they didn't drill that crap into your head before you could think,
nobody would ever buy it - and they'd be out of business.
How shameful and disgusting that they pass that down from generation
to generation like child molestation, no pun intended.
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Sarah Michelle Geller's 'Return'
Excerpt:
She's haunted by supernatural visions. She sees
and feels the brutal murder
of a young woman she's never met, at the hands
of a heartless killer--a man
who appears to be making her his next target.
Hmmm, sounds like 'The Eyes of Laura Mars'
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