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Wednesday, Aug 17, 2011 Vol 2738 - Surrenderer
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In
Today's Tequila Treehouse...
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Click Here
Quotes
"No one wants a scary extremist in the White House!"
-- CNN's resident Rethug Alex Castilanos, on Gov Perry screaming "Treason" at
Fed Chairman Bernacke if he prints more money between now & the election 4:14 Central yesterday
Perry is introducing himself to America by doing his Palin/Bachmann impression.
Do you think he has already blown up his candidacy?
On his first full day as a candidate, he accused Bernacke of "treachery...treason."
Plus, he sounded just like Der Monkey Fuhrer when he said it.
In a sane world, he'd already be toast, but Teabaggers love that insane crap.
Romney must be loving this extremist Texas cornholer.
All he needs to do is sit back and watch Bachmann and Perry try to out-extreme the other
Send e-mail to Bart
Did you see this ignorant slut in Iowa last weekend?
She knows the cameras are there and she knows she's f-ing catnip
to America's whore press, so she shows up to one-up everyone
and when asked by a press whore why she's there, she says,
"Go interview someone else - pretend I'm not here."
"No one wants a scary extremist in the White House!"
-- CNN's resident Rethug Alex Castilanos, on Gov Perry screaming "Treason" at
Fed Chairman Bernacke if he prints more money between now & the election 4:14 Central yesterday
Perry is introducing himself to America by doing his Palin/Bachmann impression.
Do you think he has already blown up his candidacy?
On his first full day as a candidate, he accused Bernacke of "treachery...treason."
Plus, he sounded just like Der Monkey Fuhrer when he said it.
In a sane world, he'd already be toast, but Teabaggers love that insane crap.
Romney must be loving this extremist Texas cornholer.
All he needs to do is sit back and watch Bachmann and Perry try to out-extreme the other
Send e-mail to Bart
Did you see this ignorant slut in Iowa last weekend?
She knows the cameras are there and she knows she's f-ing catnip
to America's whore press, so she shows up to one-up everyone
and when asked by a press whore why she's there, she says,
"Go interview someone else - pretend I'm not here."
GOP pledge to investigate fags, others
I think they want a peek under those skirts
Link
Get ready for another round of McCarthyism. Romney and Rick Man-on-dog Santorum have
all signed a pledge to form a commission to investigate the LGBT community if elected President.
This pledge was created by the National Organization For Marriage, and they have a history of
extreme views against homosexuals and anyone who votes to extend marriage rights to them.
The pledge reads as follows.
I, [ your name ], pledge to the American people that if elected President, I will:
[...] establish a presidential commission on religious liberty to investigate and document reports
of Americans who have been harassed or threatened for exercising key civil rights to organize,
to speak, to donate or to vote for marriage and to propose new protections, if needed.
What are they saying?
Roving
bands of gays are going around harassing and intimidating men from
Texas?These awful brutes are poushing the men
of Texas around like ragdolls?Did they put little pink skirts on those
men from Texas?That
these men from Texas 'did things' they are now regret?I assume Bachmann's beard will chair this Find-a-Fag witchhunt?
"I volunteer to taste ...investigate these manly men."
Send e-mail to Bart
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Marty
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day
on her fine, fine Entertainment Page
Marty's TV Listings are the best!
Help Marty name the kitty
who walked into her life
on her fine, fine Entertainment Page
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Marty
always has good stuff.
My good friend Alan
Bisbort has an exhibit
coming up Sept 1-23 in Hartford, CT.
Click Here for More Info
coming up Sept 1-23 in Hartford, CT.
Click Here for More Info
How ...weird ...is Perry?
Perry's wife's Dad did his vasectomy
Link
Rick Perry wasn’t around, but that didn’t preclude a constant discussion of him,
my favorite bit of which was a CNN segment in which it was revealed that
his father-in-law had performed his vasectomy.
Any excuse to get a man to handle your junk...
Send e-mail to Bart
Subject: Who is this "Tally" you mentioned?
Is she someone who's keeping (an accurate) track of Obama's accomplishments?
If so, I'd love to know how to navigate to her section on your site.
Reading a compilation of the good things Obama's done, while ignoring all opportunities
he's missed, is as close as I get to "Bartcop's Rule #1: People want to be lied to."
It would be particularly useful if 2012 isn't safe enough to settle for merely voting.
Because this is what I said to the DCCC when they called this afternoon:
"If you can figure out how much money I'll save by you caving in to only 98%
of what the Tea Party wants if you win; compared to the 100% you'll give them
if you lose - I'll give you that much."
Cheers,
-Rex Devious
I'm trying to get Tally to do a regular daily column.
Send e-mail to Bart
I tried to make this font larger.
My American-made browser won't let me.
I Wanna be your Exorcist
by Mark Morford
Link
Fresh job opportunities abound, if you know where to look.
The Vatican is hiring! Don't laugh. Business is solid (2000 years and counting!)
Thanks to the Vatican, it is now easier than ever for young people to discover that
classic go-to monster of lazy dark lords everywhere: Satanism.
Satanism! No, not the kind espoused by Michele "Crazy Eyes" Bachmann, who will cut you
for looking at her funny. Not what Rick "Rainfall for Jesus" Perry surely believes, as he holds
giant prayer vigils amidst thousands of fellow zealots in dusty Texas stadiums, hoping for rainfall
to nourish the crops, wash away the gays and drown out damnable health care reform designed
to help the greedy middle class, and immigrants, and the poor, and women and children and
minorities and people who care about, you know, stuff.
This is the Vatican. Which means this is old school Satanism: blood rituals, badass pentagrams,
spitting nails, speaking in tongues, hissing in gibberish and they don't mean Sarah Palin-style
gibberish that makes four-year-olds wince, but more like Charlie Sheen-style gibberish,
which is more like malformed Latin mixed with, say, bad sexting.
The Vatican just can't make up their mind.
When The Exorcist premiered in 1973, they said,
"Yes, it's real, we still do exorcisms, but it's quite rare."
A few years ago, they came out and said exorcisims were no longer being done.
Now they're recruiting young skulls full of much to battle Satan?
...anything for a buck - or a child rape - that's their motto.
Send e-mail to Bart
Now available - details below 
New
shipment in - details belowSarah Palin Nude!!!
Link
Send e-mail to Bart
Quotes
"Palin would be my first choice, but Rick perry is strong.
He's the quintessentila Texan, he's got great hair, he's a
good-looking guy, he stands tall and he talks directly.
A Palin-Perry ticket would be fine with me."
-- Torin Archbold, a member of the Austin Tea Party, Link
You see what we're up against?
Teabaggers want a good-looking Texas-monkey with great hair.
This is why we have to vote for the timid surrenderer in the White House.
Send e-mail to Bart
Breitbart the Coward
What's he afraid of?
Link
Send e-mail to Bart
Subject: View from my window
Hi Bart, since you were recently here, I thought I would send you a picture from my living room window.
This is Mt. Rainier as we see it.
Sue
Damn, that's a nice view you have.
Sure looks like a pile of coke...
Send e-mail to Bart
Notice he's careful with his teeth...
New!
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any four for $21
any eight for $26
We take credit cards
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to bartcop@bartcop.com
From 1934 - thanks to Steve 7
Subject: Photos of Perry with African Americans
Hey, Bart,
Have you ever seen a picture of Governor Perry having lunch or dinner
or any kind of fun with an African American? Man or woman or child?
Me either.
Geoff in Montana
Geoff, Perry's advance people search the crowd for military and elderly as RP enters.
They tell him "Military on the near right, elderly on the far left," and Perry heads that way.
Similarly, his people could be telling him, "Nigger on the left, faggots to the right"
so he wouldn't run into any of "those" people.
That's more proof how racist they are...
Send e-mail to Bart
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I'm glad someone took a picture because some
Texas redneck will total that truck by this weekend.
Tour Manager saved Sugarland
She held them back as they were taking the stage
Link
It came down to seconds and one instinctive decision that may have saved the lives of
country duo Sugarland and others at the Indiana State Fair where five people died when
a stage collapsed.
Tour manager Hellen Rollens looked at the sky and decided to hold the band backstage.
A minute later, 60 to 70 mph wind gusts toppled the roof and the metal scaffolding holding
lights and other equipment on Saturday night in Indianapolis. It crashed into the audience,
killing four instantly and fifth later at a hospital. Dozens were injured, some critically.
Update
Someone saw an opportunity to lie for Jesus, so they've changed the story.
Now they're claiming PRAYER saved them, because they do a "prayer circle" before they go on,
so they've chosen to credit the non-existant Invisible Cloud Being in the sky instead of their
tour manager who made a logical and smart decision to hold them back a few minutes.
If there was a God, why would he want you to lie to make him look better?
Send e-mail to Bart
She held them back as they were taking the stage
Link
It came down to seconds and one instinctive decision that may have saved the lives of
country duo Sugarland and others at the Indiana State Fair where five people died when
a stage collapsed.
Tour manager Hellen Rollens looked at the sky and decided to hold the band backstage.
A minute later, 60 to 70 mph wind gusts toppled the roof and the metal scaffolding holding
lights and other equipment on Saturday night in Indianapolis. It crashed into the audience,
killing four instantly and fifth later at a hospital. Dozens were injured, some critically.
Update
Someone saw an opportunity to lie for Jesus, so they've changed the story.
Now they're claiming PRAYER saved them, because they do a "prayer circle" before they go on,
so they've chosen to credit the non-existant Invisible Cloud Being in the sky instead of their
tour manager who made a logical and smart decision to hold them back a few minutes.
If there was a God, why would he want you to lie to make him look better?
Send e-mail to Bart
Last Issue's Mystery Car
Link
Can you ID this car?
Bart, that's an Alfa Romeo 1938 8C 2990B Berlinetta.
Maybe it's a guy thing....but I find it easier to ID the cars than the cities.
-- Dave, in Portland OR
Send e-mail to Bart
Link
Can you ID this car?
Bart, that's an Alfa Romeo 1938 8C 2990B Berlinetta.
Maybe it's a guy thing....but I find it easier to ID the cars than the cities.
-- Dave, in Portland OR
Send e-mail to Bart
Send e-mail to Bart
Subject: thanks
I can't thank you enough.
In the insanity that has surrounded us since GW's epic fail you have kept me sane.
I am ever impressed of you savant political skills. You were so right to wonder if
Obama could take a punch - obviously he can't.
Any plans for a Vegas trip? Also, we live about an hour North of Flagstaff, AZ and if
you ever return to the Grand Canyon, please let us know and we would be pleased to
show you and Mrs Bart some of the amazing sites on the Western Navajo Reservation.
Yours with true respect,
KXA from the high desert of Navajo/Hopi Lands
p.s. What exactly is the benefit of writing "love" on a check we would send to you?
KXA. thanks for that. You might get an e-mail from me saying we're on our way :)
The way my tax-preparer/former IRS agent explained it, if someone buys stickers or
a t-shirt or a subscription, that's taxable income because it was a trans action.
But if someone sends a check and says, "Love your work,"
that could hardly be considered a transaction so it's tax-free.
I don't understand these things, I just follow orders.
Send e-mail to Bart
Wildlife Close-up
Link
Visiting our sponsors puts food on Bart's family...
Send e-mail to Bart
Check out the news and toons at
Today's Mystery City
Link
Can you guess the city?
Send e-mail to Bart
Subject: last issue's mystery city
Bart, Last Issue's Mystery City is beautiful Ypsilanti Michigan, on the banks of the Huron River.
CD
CD, you are very close...
Bart, Last Issue's Mystery City is Paris and the building is the Cathédrale Notre-Dame de Paris.
Construction started in 1163 AD, and was complete by 1345.
Fun Fact: There are five bells at Notre Dame. The great bourdon bell, Emmanuel, is located in
the South Tower, weighs just over 13 tons, and is tolled to mark the hours of the day and for
various occasions and services. On the night of 24 August 1944, as the Île de la Cité was taken
by an advance column of French and Allied armoured troops and elements of the Resistance,
it was the tolling of the Emmanuel that announced to the city that its liberation was under way.
Vince
Bart, Last Issue's Mystery City was Paris.
Once (a long time ago) I went in the evening into the grounds of Notre Dame
after taking LSD and when I went to leave I found that the gates were locked.
So I had to climb the fence and shinny around that wall
over the Seine to make it to the street again.
I don’t remember if it was a full moon as in the picture though.
GD
Another damn nice picture - beautiful city.
Send e-mail to Bart
The stickers on Mary R's car.
I mailed out over a hundred Corp Welfare stickers
but so far, nobody has sent back any pictures...
Today's History Mystery
Link
Who is today's Mystery Person?
Send e-mail to Bart
Subject: last issue's history mystery
What is last issue's History Mystery?
Bart, I believe that is a portrait of former Congressman Davy Crockett.
b c
Did you see that David Crockett biographer on Jon Stewart?
Click to Order Just $12.64 via wireless
He said Congressman David Crockett told President Andrew Jackson
that he was wrong, wrong, wrong for putting thousands of Indians on
the dreaded Trail of Tears - and he was then thrown out of congress
and banished to a small mission in San Antonio called The Alamo.
He stood up to power and paid for it with his life.
A shot of Chinaco for David Crockett
Send e-mail to Bart
Subject: donation
Bart, here's a little to make the pie higher and keep the kitties fed.
Must be about time to renew my subscription anyway.
Did you see Jim Kunstler's blog today? Really funny and right on target.
"Intelligence has the same effect on Rick Perry as daylight does on Dracula."
George In Oregon
George, thanks for that.
You have made the pie higher.
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