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Wednesday, Aug 17, 2011 Vol 2738 - Surrenderer
Click Here Quotes
"No one wants a scary extremist in the White House!" -- CNN's resident Rethug Alex Castilanos, on Gov Perry screaming "Treason" at Fed Chairman Bernacke if he prints more money between now & the election 4:14 Central yesterday Perry is introducing himself to America by doing his Palin/Bachmann impression. Do you think he has already blown up his candidacy? On his first full day as a candidate, he accused Bernacke of "treachery...treason." Plus, he sounded just like Der Monkey Fuhrer when he said it. In a sane world, he'd already be toast, but Teabaggers love that insane crap. Romney must be loving this extremist Texas cornholer. All he needs to do is sit back and watch Bachmann and Perry try to out-extreme the other Send e-mail to Bart Did you see this ignorant slut in Iowa last weekend? She knows the cameras are there and she knows she's f-ing catnip to America's whore press, so she shows up to one-up everyone and when asked by a press whore why she's there, she says, "Go interview someone else - pretend I'm not here." GOP pledge to investigate fags, others I think they want a peek under those skirts Link Get ready for another round of McCarthyism. Romney and Rick Man-on-dog Santorum have all signed a pledge to form a commission to investigate the LGBT community if elected President. This pledge was created by the National Organization For Marriage, and they have a history of extreme views against homosexuals and anyone who votes to extend marriage rights to them. The pledge reads as follows. I, [ your name ], pledge to the American people that if elected President, I will: [...] establish a presidential commission on religious liberty to investigate and document reports of Americans who have been harassed or threatened for exercising key civil rights to organize, to speak, to donate or to vote for marriage and to propose new protections, if needed. What are they saying? Roving bands of gays are going around harassing and intimidating men from Texas? These awful brutes are poushing the men of Texas around like ragdolls? Did they put little pink skirts on those men from Texas? That these men from Texas 'did things' they are now regret? I assume Bachmann's beard will chair this Find-a-Fag witchhunt? "I volunteer to taste ...investigate these manly men." Send e-mail to Bart Shopping online?
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coming up Sept 1-23 in Hartford, CT. Click Here for More Info How ...weird ...is Perry? Perry's wife's Dad did his vasectomy Link Rick Perry wasn’t around, but that didn’t preclude a constant discussion of him, my favorite bit of which was a CNN segment in which it was revealed that his father-in-law had performed his vasectomy. Any excuse to get a man to handle your junk... Send e-mail to Bart Subject: Who is this "Tally" you mentioned? Is she someone who's keeping (an accurate) track of Obama's accomplishments? If so, I'd love to know how to navigate to her section on your site. Reading a compilation of the good things Obama's done, while ignoring all opportunities he's missed, is as close as I get to "Bartcop's Rule #1: People want to be lied to." It would be particularly useful if 2012 isn't safe enough to settle for merely voting. Because this is what I said to the DCCC when they called this afternoon: "If you can figure out how much money I'll save by you caving in to only 98% of what the Tea Party wants if you win; compared to the 100% you'll give them if you lose - I'll give you that much." Cheers, -Rex Devious I'm trying to get Tally to do a regular daily column. Send e-mail to Bart I tried to make this font larger. My American-made browser won't let me. I Wanna be your Exorcist by Mark Morford Link Fresh job opportunities abound, if you know where to look. The Vatican is hiring! Don't laugh. Business is solid (2000 years and counting!) Thanks to the Vatican, it is now easier than ever for young people to discover that classic go-to monster of lazy dark lords everywhere: Satanism. Satanism! No, not the kind espoused by Michele "Crazy Eyes" Bachmann, who will cut you for looking at her funny. Not what Rick "Rainfall for Jesus" Perry surely believes, as he holds giant prayer vigils amidst thousands of fellow zealots in dusty Texas stadiums, hoping for rainfall to nourish the crops, wash away the gays and drown out damnable health care reform designed to help the greedy middle class, and immigrants, and the poor, and women and children and minorities and people who care about, you know, stuff. This is the Vatican. Which means this is old school Satanism: blood rituals, badass pentagrams, spitting nails, speaking in tongues, hissing in gibberish and they don't mean Sarah Palin-style gibberish that makes four-year-olds wince, but more like Charlie Sheen-style gibberish, which is more like malformed Latin mixed with, say, bad sexting. The Vatican just can't make up their mind. When The Exorcist premiered in 1973, they said, "Yes, it's real, we still do exorcisms, but it's quite rare." A few years ago, they came out and said exorcisims were no longer being done. Now they're recruiting young skulls full of much to battle Satan? ...anything for a buck - or a child rape - that's their motto. Send e-mail to Bart Now available - details below
New shipment in - details below Sarah Palin Nude!!! Link Send e-mail to Bart Quotes "Palin would be my first choice, but Rick perry is strong. He's the quintessentila Texan, he's got great hair, he's a good-looking guy, he stands tall and he talks directly. A Palin-Perry ticket would be fine with me." -- Torin Archbold, a member of the Austin Tea Party, Link You see what we're up against? Teabaggers want a good-looking Texas-monkey with great hair. This is why we have to vote for the timid surrenderer in the White House. Send e-mail to Bart Breitbart the Coward What's he afraid of? Link Send e-mail to Bart Subject: View from my window Hi Bart, since you were recently here, I thought I would send you a picture from my living room window. This is Mt. Rainier as we see it. Sue Damn, that's a nice view you have. Sure looks like a pile of coke... Send e-mail to Bart Notice he's careful with his teeth... New!
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to bartcop@bartcop.comFrom 1934 - thanks to Steve 7 Subject: Photos of Perry with African Americans Hey, Bart, Have you ever seen a picture of Governor Perry having lunch or dinner or any kind of fun with an African American? Man or woman or child? Me either. Geoff in Montana Geoff, Perry's advance people search the crowd for military and elderly as RP enters. They tell him "Military on the near right, elderly on the far left," and Perry heads that way. Similarly, his people could be telling him, "Nigger on the left, faggots to the right" so he wouldn't run into any of "those" people. That's more proof how racist they are... Send e-mail to Bart Click for subscription info, FAQs and Options Why subscribe? There are tons of shows to listen to. You can select a monthly plan to provide recurring support.Please sign up for whatever
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appreciated bartcop.com PO Box 54466 Tulsa, OK 74155 to bartcop@bartcop.com Business slow? Time to advertise! Banner ads by the day, by the week, or by the monff Click Here to get more Hits Even if business is slow, let people know you're still here. I'm glad someone took a picture because some Texas redneck will total that truck by this weekend. Tour Manager saved Sugarland
She held them back as they were taking the stage Link It came down to seconds and one instinctive decision that may have saved the lives of country duo Sugarland and others at the Indiana State Fair where five people died when a stage collapsed. Tour manager Hellen Rollens looked at the sky and decided to hold the band backstage. A minute later, 60 to 70 mph wind gusts toppled the roof and the metal scaffolding holding lights and other equipment on Saturday night in Indianapolis. It crashed into the audience, killing four instantly and fifth later at a hospital. Dozens were injured, some critically. Update Someone saw an opportunity to lie for Jesus, so they've changed the story. Now they're claiming PRAYER saved them, because they do a "prayer circle" before they go on, so they've chosen to credit the non-existant Invisible Cloud Being in the sky instead of their tour manager who made a logical and smart decision to hold them back a few minutes. If there was a God, why would he want you to lie to make him look better? Send e-mail to Bart Last Issue's Mystery Car
Link Can you ID this car? Bart, that's an Alfa Romeo 1938 8C 2990B Berlinetta. Maybe it's a guy thing....but I find it easier to ID the cars than the cities. -- Dave, in Portland OR Send e-mail to Bart Send e-mail to Bart Subject: thanks I can't thank you enough. In the insanity that has surrounded us since GW's epic fail you have kept me sane. I am ever impressed of you savant political skills. You were so right to wonder if Obama could take a punch - obviously he can't. Any plans for a Vegas trip? Also, we live about an hour North of Flagstaff, AZ and if you ever return to the Grand Canyon, please let us know and we would be pleased to show you and Mrs Bart some of the amazing sites on the Western Navajo Reservation. Yours with true respect, KXA from the high desert of Navajo/Hopi Lands p.s. What exactly is the benefit of writing "love" on a check we would send to you? KXA. thanks for that. You might get an e-mail from me saying we're on our way :) The way my tax-preparer/former IRS agent explained it, if someone buys stickers or a t-shirt or a subscription, that's taxable income because it was a trans action. But if someone sends a check and says, "Love your work," that could hardly be considered a transaction so it's tax-free. I don't understand these things, I just follow orders. Send e-mail to Bart Wildlife Close-up Link Visiting our sponsors puts food on Bart's family... Send e-mail to Bart Check out the news and toons at Today's Mystery City Link Can you guess the city? Send e-mail to Bart Subject: last issue's mystery city Bart, Last Issue's Mystery City is beautiful Ypsilanti Michigan, on the banks of the Huron River. CD CD, you are very close... Bart, Last Issue's Mystery City is Paris and the building is the Cathédrale Notre-Dame de Paris. Construction started in 1163 AD, and was complete by 1345. Fun Fact: There are five bells at Notre Dame. The great bourdon bell, Emmanuel, is located in the South Tower, weighs just over 13 tons, and is tolled to mark the hours of the day and for various occasions and services. On the night of 24 August 1944, as the Île de la Cité was taken by an advance column of French and Allied armoured troops and elements of the Resistance, it was the tolling of the Emmanuel that announced to the city that its liberation was under way. Vince Bart, Last Issue's Mystery City was Paris. Once (a long time ago) I went in the evening into the grounds of Notre Dame after taking LSD and when I went to leave I found that the gates were locked. So I had to climb the fence and shinny around that wall over the Seine to make it to the street again. I don’t remember if it was a full moon as in the picture though. GD Another damn nice picture - beautiful city. Send e-mail to Bart The stickers on Mary R's car. I mailed out over a hundred Corp Welfare stickers but so far, nobody has sent back any pictures... Today's History Mystery Link Who is today's Mystery Person? Send e-mail to Bart Subject: last issue's history mystery What is last issue's History Mystery? Bart, I believe that is a portrait of former Congressman Davy Crockett. b c Did you see that David Crockett biographer on Jon Stewart? Click to Order Just $12.64 via wireless He said Congressman David Crockett told President Andrew Jackson that he was wrong, wrong, wrong for putting thousands of Indians on the dreaded Trail of Tears - and he was then thrown out of congress and banished to a small mission in San Antonio called The Alamo. He stood up to power and paid for it with his life. A shot of Chinaco for David Crockett Send e-mail to Bart Subject: donation Bart, here's a little to make the pie higher and keep the kitties fed. Must be about time to renew my subscription anyway. Did you see Jim Kunstler's blog today? Really funny and right on target. "Intelligence has the same effect on Rick Perry as daylight does on Dracula." George In Oregon George, thanks for that. You have made the pie higher. Click to Subscribe or Donate
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