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Thurs-Friday, Sept 6-7, 2012 Vol 2933 - Big Dog Rocks

In Today's Tequila Treehouse...


	Clinton brings Down the House
	DemoCon Night Two Best Tweets
	Ryan Loved Obamacare in 2010
	Ryan's Mountain-climbing Lies
	Leno's lame-ass Jokes
	Don't Make Me Stop This Car
	White Collar's Tiffani Thiessen

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Quotes

"We know Mitt Romney never met a tax haven he didn't like. But his new favorite
tax haven is actually not the Cayman Islands—its Paul Ryan's budget."
-- Chuck Shumer, pounding on those Repugnant theives Link

Send e-mail to Bart

Clinton brings Down the House
Asks voters to give Obama another chance

Link

Clinton saved the big zinger for tax cuts for the rich, warning that Romney will "double down on trickle-down."

He paraphrased Ronald Reagan: "As another president once said, 'There they go again."

In reframing last week's GOP message, he employed equal parts mockery, wonkery and plainspeak.

In short, he said, the Republicans came to Tampa to deliver a simple message about Obama:
"We left him a total mess, but he hasn't cleaned it up fast enough, so fire him and put us back in."

More on the Clinton speech to follow...

Send e-mail to Bart

DemoCon Night Two's Best Tweets

Here's some of the best Tweets.

Biden's going to face the wrong way, and claim its a spoof on the Eastwood thing - Garry Shandling

If what Mitt is proposing worked, George W. Bush would
have been the keynote speaker at last week’s RNC -- LOLGOP

Who sings "Are you ready for some football?" now that
that racist piece of human garbage doesn't - Horatio Sanz (SNL)

Use the bathroom. Grab your popcorn. Turn off your cellphones. The show is about to begin - Chris Rock

Republicans want to take us back -- the way Chris Brown wants to take Rihanna back - LOLGOP

CNN: Awaiting the arrival of the first black president: Bill Clinton - Chris Rock

If @AnnCoulter still wants to blame Clinton for getting a blowjob,
we guess it's OK to keep blaming Bush for completely fucking the country - TheDailyEdge

GOP terrified that Sandra Fluke might explain where the clitoris is - LOLGOP

ha ha

Unwed teen Bristol Palin has a baby, and GOP cheers.
Sandra Fluke advocates birth control, and gets called a slut - Tusk81

Made it to Charlotte. This place is packed like Kanye at MSG - Alex Wagner

Is Al Franken drunk? He is babbling incoherently on MSNBC or is that a requirement to get
on air there? Claims Bush tax rate caused debt - talk show host (and Uber-Nazi) Chuck Woolery

Hey Chuck, the Bush tax rate DID cause the deficits. If you triple spending and work fewer hours,
and start two wars on the credit card you run out of money fast.

BUT SCOTT BROWN HAS A TRUCK! - LOLGOP

Isn't it funny how stupid GOP voters are?
Fred Thompson used to take a private jet to some campaign appearance, then a limo to a small town
where his broke-dick, needs-paint '72 Chevy pickup had been planted so he could drive in "like a regular guy."

Apparently Scott Brown does the same thing.

How can Repubes be that stupid?

We want Bubba! We want Bubba! We want Bubba! - Chris Rock

Bill is in the house, hide the women folk! - Nazi racist Chuck Woolery, being "funny" again

LOVE Clintons, LOVE Gore, Love Obama. LOVE J CARTER!!!
Go ahead haters, I don't give a fuck. PROUD LIBERAL. #suckit!! :) - Kathy Griffin

Why can't Clinton be running this time, maybe we would win? - Chuck Woolery, admitting defeat

This is Bill Clinton's half-billion dollar donation to Obama - LOLGOP

Clinton Swagger Factor = off the charts. - Alex Wagner

She's hot AND her spelling and grammer and punctuation are hot, too. I love smart women.

Clinton: "I want a man who had the good sense to marry Michelle Obama!"

Clinton: "Every Republican will tell you he was born in a log cabin he built himeself."

ha ha
"You didn't build that!"
See? Bill Clinton is making them EAT THAT.
We should've been making them EAT THAT since the first damn time they said it.

Look at that audience. Holy shit. They all just orgasmed together - Rude Pundit, who had a great night

Now Clinton is just running up the approval numbers. They only go up to 100, Bill!    LOLGOP

Dems have Clinton headling their convention. Repubs shamefully avoid mentioning Bush's name

my god, he's good - John Aravosis

PRESIDENT CLINTON ON FIRE!!!   GO BIG DOG!   - Tally

Clinton is really getting going now. Love watching him wind up - MSNBC's Krystal Ball

TelePrompTer comes to a halt. Clinton is improvising - Karen Tumulty

OKay Big Dog...How many out-of-the-ballpark home runs can you keep hitting.???!

Clinton's tearing the house down! Meanwhile #Mitt just vomitted

Clinton went off-script to praise Republicans for authentically caring about their families and the country

Clinton said more nice things about W. tonight than Nazi-Con 2012 did all last week

ha ha

hope somebody requests freebird - Atrios

Bill Clinton ain't reading off no teleprompter, this guy is jiving up there!
Sounds like a black preacher at Sunday Service - Chris Rock

Can anyone have watched these 2 conventions and have decided to vote for Romney/?   Howie Klein

Oh wow. I actually just applauded at the TV.   Clinton is fantastic.

"No sugar-coating it. Bill Clinton's speech is really very, very good." GOPer S.E. Cupp

Bill Clinton up there dancing! Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee!
Rumble young man, rumble. Them hands don't stay still!   - Chris Rock

Bill Clinton is uploading common sense into brains like he's in the Matrix - LOLGOP

10:56 EST: He's departing so much from text that at rate he's going Clinton
has another half hour to go. But he's selling it like old times   - Jonathan Alter

Talent of this man is unreal. Brilliant speech. Open, moderate, base loves it
& unequivocally states that nobody could have fixed the GOP's mess.    - Krystal Ball

For a man impeached by Republicans to say they hate Obama even more
than they hated him is quite something - Andrew Sullivan

Clinton's got this audience on FULL-OPRAH mode! - Chris Rock

Clinton improvising on live TV is the reason they should keep having political conventions.

Clinton is such a wonk. These numbers are in is head. His head!

Bill Clinton is ear-fucking the shit out of this crowd - Rude Pundit

Save for the pesky 22nd Amendment -- Bill Clinton right now would be
running for his sixth term. - Walter Shapiro, first funny thing he's ever written

I guess this is why they called him "The Natural".
Bill Clinton delivering a master class in political rhetoric

William Jefferson Clinton, Jedi Grand Master.

Bill Clinton is the gun you bring to a knife fight.

The reason they hated Bill was same reason they hate Obama: Jealousy.
They can't produce anything close to those two -   MsJoanne

What's amazing about Bill Clinton is that if you were that great, you would never be this gracious.   LOLGOP

I love my country right now - @downwithtyranny

Bill freakin' Clinton!   What he said.   - poker great Daniel Negreanu

SPOILER: Obama walks onstage, throws cape over Clinton. Brushes off his shoulder.
Accepts nomination together, Bill & Barack fly out of the arena!!    - Chris Rock

Bill Clinton. Blowing minds by going rogue and making it look easy.

Bill Clinton on Paul Ryan attacking Obama for Medicare cuts in his own budget:
"It takes some brass to attack a guy for doing what you did."

Reverend Clinton officially has taken over the presidency. he's pointing
to center field, and looking at Barack, and saying - Watch! - Chris Rock

ha ha

Bill Clinton: 100     Clint Eastwood: 0

WOW. If a political speech could be a wet dream, this is it - LOLGOP

That sound you're hearing is your country is being saved - LOLGOP

Clinton just made Chuck Norris weep.

The teleprompter guy just went out for a smoke.

Now watch this drive.    KagroX

ha ha

This guy knows how to talk to women. I'm ready to get in bed w/ him right now! - Chris Rock

There's only one person who can stop him. She's in Asia. (Hillary) - Alex Wagner

Somebody drag an empty chair on stage just so Bill Clinton can kick it over and drop the mic - JanelleNanos

ha ha

I wonder if this Clinton guy has ever considered a career in politics? He seems to have a knack.

Clinton: "We cannot give the reins to someone who will double down on trickle down!!"

This is weird, Clinton is talking to us like we should be allowed to know stuff

Everyone watch your feet when you get up from your couches, cause
President Clinton just DROPPED KNOWLEDGE EVERYWHERE

Journalists *always, always* misjudged Clinton's popularity. They're doing it as we speak.

That Blitzer-in-training Chuck Todd said Big Dog's approval was 39% when he left office.
I got cash that says you're a liar, Chuck Todd.

I have chills (i also have pneumonia but that's besides the point) AMAZING doesn't do this justice

Remember when people thought Ann Romney was an impressive orator?   - Matt Yglesias

THIS is why the GOP had to impeach Clinton.   They could never beat him   - LOLGOP

Man, there's nothing like an old-time barnburner of a convention speech. I want to hold up a lighter - Rude Pundit

That was the best speech I ever heard. Bill Clinton was so full of passion, humor, wit, and info.
I loved the whole thing.    - Poker great Daniel Negreanu

The minute Clinton's speech was over, Twitter went offline - at least mine did.
Every time I tried to refresh, it said "X Bad Command."

It was down for 12-15 minutes

I think Clinton broke twitter - Ari Fliesher (R-Forked Tongue)

ha ha

Clinton hit a home run. No doubt. Nobody does it better - former GOP chair Michael Steele

That subtle throat-sob when Clinton said, "I love this country" = Hendrix setting his guitar on fire - Patton Oswald

"I wish to God as a Republican that we had someone who could do that." - McCain 2008 Campaign Boss Steve Schmidt

I'll vote for Obama because I want to plunge Chuck Norris into a thousand years of darkness. - fourdk

Did you hear that Romney commercial featuring that moron, Chuck Norris?
"If Obama wins, it will plunge America into 1,000 years of darkness."

That's their vision for America's future - threatening you with 1,000 years of darkness
as tho Obama will use his incredible mind to blot out the sun and punish all the non-Muslins...

Obama TONIGHT

I'm going to watch.

I hope the Friday headlines say, "Obama's Speech Better than Clinton's!"

Send e-mail to Bart

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Ryan Loved Obamacare in 2010
Ryan tells more lies than Cheney, but Cheney told worse lies

Link

Paul Ryan is barnstorming the country, promising to repeal the Affordable Care Act.
But a letter he wrote to the Obama administration may reveal his true colors.

On December 10, 2010, Ryan penned a letter to the "horrible government" to recommend
a grant application for a new Health Center in Racine, Wisconsin, an area within Ryan’s district.
“The proposed new facility will serve the healthcare needs of thousands of new patients of all ages
who are currently without healthcare,” Ryan wrote.

But now that he wants power, fuck those poor people?

Cheney is hoping you win so he'll be the second-worst VP ever.

Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: l've lost weight since then

Beowulf and retired top toonist Bruce Yurgil

Wierd seeing my picture all of a sudden.

I'm worse off than when I last wrote. I'm actuallly homeless now.
I still have a job, but it doesn't pay a living wage. I couldn't afford rent at my last place,
and I am having major difficulties finding an inexpensive pad in CA.
I couldn't even land a room in a trailer home.

It may not be much to Mitt, but my best year was the $40,000 I made during Clinton's
last year in office. I lost my job and 401K when Bush took over and have been struggling ever since.
And I'm not the only one I see sleeping in their cars.
The truly sad thing is, some of those people will vote for Rmoney.
Bruce

Dude, I'm really sad to hear all that.
If you want, send me your location and I'll print it.
There's always a chance z reader has a apartment above the garage kind of thing in your area.

There are other Bartcop regulars that are living without homes, such as Michael Dare.
It doesn't seem possible that this is happening to real people but I know you're telling the truth.

I assume you need to stay within walking distance of your job, or maybe somebody
knows a place that's hiring that could use a master of graphics and photo manipulation.

Write back with your info - you have nothing to lose.

Need a graphics expert on your staff?

Click Here to see the first page of the Bruce Yurgil Graphics Contest.

This ran as a daily feature back in 2007 so you'll have to manually change the page numbers.

http://www.bartcop.com/by-toon-round-01.htm

This is the first link, just change the round-01.htm to round-02.htm

After you get to round-42.htm it switches to round-finals-01.htm up to round-finals-20.htm

Maybe we can get Bruce hired somewhere.
Hell, he can do graphics via the net so anyone can hire Bruce.

Maybe a Hong Kong web site needs a great graphics designer?

Send e-mail to Bart

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Astrocat

I could live there...

mikemalloy.com

Nathan Yost‏@nathanmyost

Why did the #GOP re-design their logo to have a satanic star?

Maybe it was to honor the Vulgar Pigboy,
who, everyone knows, is a notorious goat sexer.

Ryan's Mountain-climbing Lies
Has Ryan once told the truth about anthing?

Link

Ryan claimed that he has climbed "close to 40" of the famous "Fourteeners" in Colorado -- the 54 peaks
more than 14,000 feet high. He made this claim before he was important enough to fact check.

Still: this claim makes me even more suspicious than his Marathon Lies.
Ryan skeptics say:

The 54 peaks are scattered throughout remote parts of Colorado and you have to visit out-of-the-way
little towns and valleys to tick the list, towns and valleys that you would never visit otherwise....

To have climbed forty and not be a resident means that you would have had to devote entire summers
to climbing fourteeners, in essence becoming a "lifestyle" hiker/scrambler. I doubt Ryan had the time
or dedication to take the required time out from his political career. Even if you did four per summer,
that would be ten summers devoted to traveling to Colorado for the purpose of high altitude hiking.
Even if you live here in Colorado, forty is a hueueueueueuege commitment of time and energy.

Send e-mail to Bart

Leno's lame-ass Jokes
Is anyone as not-funny as Jay Leno? Link

"What a different four years makes. At the last Democratic Convention the
theme was 'hope and change' - This time it’s 'hope you don’t make a change.'"

That's not even a joke - it's just a repetition of the words "hope" and "change."

"The first two nights of the Democratic convention are at the Time Warner Cable Arena
and Obama's big speech will be at the Bank of America Stadium. That’s good thinking,
the two things Americans love most: cable companies and banks."

Jay, where's the joke?
Obama isn't partying with cable execs and bankers.
They bought the rights to name those venues - what's wrong with you?

You need to let Bob Hope's joke card collection go and hire some better writers.
However, I'll bet Dennis Miller thinks you're on fire!

"The Democrats also have a mystery speaker. It's Mitt Romney's dog."

Jay, that dog was put down thirty years ago - where'e the joke here?

How can one man so corner the market on unfunny jokes?

Correction:
How can one man with TWENTY WRITERS so corner the market on unfunny jokes?

Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: The Republican argument

Republican logic continues to confuse me. The Republican argument is:

Obama made promises.
Republicans blocked Obama's promises.
Obama therefore failed to keep his promises.
Vote Republican.

What?

I wrote a joke:

Q) What's is a 4 letter word that starts with the letter F that Republicans find extremely offensive?

A) FACT

Marc Perkel

Send e-mail to Bart

What could be worse than getting a phone call
out of the blue that says, "Your son Mark has died?"

Knowing you don't have enough money to bury him.

Al and Marylyn Abrahamian could really
use some help with these funeral expenses.

I know most of you didn't know Mark.
He grew up in the East Bay Area of California
but had recently moved to Austin.

Mark joined Starship in 2000 after playing with
Survivor, Toto, Loverboy and ACDC.

Think of a donation as Karma.

If you donate now, maybe things will be smoother
for your family when they really need a break.

Or what the hell - do it for rock n roll.
If you've ever seen Survivor, Toto, Loverboy or ACDC live.
you might've seen Mark on guitar.

I PayPal'd $50 to the Mark Abrahamian Memorial Fund.

Can you match that (or give anything?) to help
Al and Marylyn deal with the nightmare of losing their son?

Think how good you'll feel after making an
elderly couple's total nightmare a little less scary.

Don't Make Me Stop This Car
I'm tired of the bullshit on jobs

Link

With Dem-Con 2012 in full swing, party leaders are boosting Obama's re-election effort
by asserting that 4.5 million new jobs have been created during his term.

However, CNN fact-checked that claim and found it to be "not the whole picture."

Nobody said it was "the whole picture."
The statement is true as stated - suck on that.

Instead, CNN found that there has been a net increase of just 300,000 nonfarm payroll jobs
since Obama took office. And if you count government jobs, there are actually 400,000
fewer people working today than in January 2009.

This is such bullshit.
You penalize Obama for shrinking the size of government?

Does that mean you'd PRAISE him if he hired another million government workers?
How can you attack him regardless of wether government jobs go up OR down?

When Democrats use the 4.5 million jobs number, they're referring to jobs created after
the economy bottomed out in January 2010, one year after Obama took office. That time
frame excludes the worst job losses, which took place in 2009, and which many Democrats
argue were the result of Bush policies.

Such a stupid argument.
The Bush economy didn't stop crashing the minute Obama said, "I will."

If I shoot a guy, then resign my position as sheriff and come back in 30 days, can I say,
"That patient was only in bed ONE day under my administration
yet he's been in bed 30 times longer under YOUR administratrion."

You can't start Obama's clock until the gun-shot patient is at least stable.

CNN concludes: "The figure of 4.5 million jobs is accurate if you look at the most favorable
period and category for the administration. But overall, there are still fewer people working
now than when Obama took office at the height of the recession."

So I was right - the guy after me takes 30 times the blame for the guy I shot?

I think what we have here is CNN has listed several of Paul Ryan's blatant lies.

They must be under pressure from Repugnants to "find some lies on their side" and
this horseshit about the "selective timing" is the closest CNN could find to a Demo lie.

CNN, they name is whore.

Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: Hey Bart!

Bart, I got engaged this week. Woo Hoo!
Kevin in Buffalo

Kevin, congrats!
I hope you have many happy years.

Send e-mail to Bart

Check out the news and toons at

Read all about it!

on the Bart Blog!

Is the USA Today Editorial Board made up of Repugs or morons?
Is there a distinction between the two groups?

Really?
These last 4 years you wanted Obama to focus on
LONG-TERM debt-clock issues?

Saving the banks and the housing industry and Detroit should've
been put on hold while Obama looked at long-term debt issues?

The house has been fully engulfed in flames
since Obama arrived and the fire's not out yet.

Sounds to me that these handjobs wanted Obama to check
hose prices with a half-dozen hose dealers to get the best price
instead of buying the first hose he found and started squirting the house.

Oh, and that bullshit graphic?

Compare Obama to OTHER PRESIDENTS.
Don't compare Obama to Obama and scream, "Failure!"

Again, the whore media acts like Obama continues to buy
new Cadillacs for lazy Blacks while poor Whitey struggles.

Reminder: We've never seen Obamanomics.
Once the fire is out, then maybe we'll see what he's got.

Marty has new stuff every day
on her fine, fine Entertainment Page

Marty's TV Listings are the best!

Today's Mystery City

Link

Subject: last issue's mystery city Link

Bart, that's Brecqhou Island in the Bailiwick of Guernsey, viewed from the north;
one of the British Channel Islands. The island of Sark is just off the left edge of the photo.
Use these coordinates to find it in Google Maps: 49.432845,-2.389966

Brecghou is the home of the billionaire Barclay twins.
John S

Send e-mail to Bart

Astrocat Bonus

Today's History Mystery

Link

Subject: last issue's History Mystery Link

What? USS Macon

When: 16 October, 1933

Where: Hangar One at Moffett Field, California

http://fergdawg.blogspot.com/2008/07/us-navy-partially-spares-moffett-fields.html

http://rooseveltway.blogspot.com/
Stan in Durant

Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: donations

Bart, I'm sorry I can't send more.
As a woman born in 1967, I've always been HORRIFED that in
my lifetime women haven't had the right to vote for 100 years yet.
If Romney is elected, I don't think we'll hit that milestone 8 years out.
Thank you!
kaildigger

Kaildigger, thanks for that - you were very generous.

Subject: donations

You have been especially therapeutic, this week of the NaziCon.
Thanks for helping me to keep my sanity, so I can help other people keep theirs!
Be well, Bart!
Janet

P.S. And move out of Oklahoma-- you deserve normal neighbors! :-)

Janet, thanks.
We're planning a scouting trip to Oregon soon.

Amazon.com is my best bet to staying on the InnerNets.

...and if you shop with them, you might even save some money.

Humor can get us thru the worst of times so we will keep on.
As my buddy Ray Coleman used to say, "Never quit!!"

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White Collar's Tiffani Thiessen

Check out over 100 sexy and tasteful photos of Tiffani Thiessen

More in BC Hotties

Thanks to Blue in Seattle for helping me corral the hotties.

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