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Wednesday Feb 13, 2013 Vol 3014 - On the menu
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In
Today's Tequila Treehouse...
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http://www.capizomics.com
Quotes
"Marco Rubio, Rand Paul, Ted Nugent. The GOP's response to the
State of the Union has turned into a visual aide to explain devolution."
-- LOLGOP in a tweet
Send e-mail to Bart
Benny the Rat Pulls a Palin
First Quitter Pope in 600 Years
Link
So, Benny the Rat is now Benny the Rat-Quitter.
He's obviously lying about the "failing health" excuse, so what's the real reason?
Does he want to spend more time with his family? (snark) Thanks to Chicago Jim
They say he'll have no say in his we-promote-rape replacement, but trust me, Benny
stacked the College of Cardinals with every Bachmann, Cheney, Santorum, Rick Perry,
Rand Paul, Marco Rubio, Allen West, Steve King, pro-child rape conserevative he could
find to guarantee that the catholic's worldwide child rape spree will continue forever.
That's why the Catholic Church exists - to promote child rape.
Like the US military and cruise ships - rape is on the menu.
The Catholics just make everything worse by raping kids.
"Bart, you don't have kids - why do you care?
What we do with kids is not your concern."
Send e-mail to Bart
Shop
Online
Amazon.com sells everything
Someone bought an Exerpeutic Inversion Table
for $93 (Damn cheap!) so Amazon donated $3.70 to the Treehouse!
I think everyone should have a kinky sex chair.
Thanks for using this link
Amazon.com sells everything
Find
your purchase
then come
back here
and use this link
and they'll throw the Treehouse some pennies...
Amazon
business has been slower than
usual.
I hope things pick up
between
now and Christmas
because Amazon has become my
financial lifeline.
Extra thanks to those of
you
who
use the Bartcop.com Amazon Portal.
Someone bought an Exerpeutic Inversion Table
for $93 (Damn cheap!) so Amazon donated $3.70 to the Treehouse!
I think everyone should have a kinky sex chair.
Thanks for using this link
Buy
online
Free
Shipping
Look for 'bartcop' in the
link when you place the order.
Add
the Amazon link
to your Favorites Bar
to your Favorites Bar
Sorry about the Floating Crap Bucket
Maybe Carnival Cruises just has bad luck?
Link
Carnival Cruise officials apologized today for the crisis on the Carnival Triumph, the fire-damaged
crap bucket that has been stranded in the Gulf of Mexico. There are 4,200 people on board, living with
baggies for toilets and a stench that would level Tacoma. The cruise line said it would get passengers
home as quickly as possible when the ship is pulled ashore soon, depending on the wind direction.
Carnival said original plans to haul the crippled crap bucket to Progreso, Mexico, have been scrapped
because the rudderless crap bucket with 4,000 souls aboard drifted about 90 miles north in strong currents.
Instead, the Triumph is being towed to Mobile, Ala., and should arrive Thursday, with some luck.
Passengers on the ship have reported worsening conditions, including scarce running water,
no air conditioning and long lines for food. They've been sleeping on the deck to avoid the stench.
Can you imagine 4,000 people with no working toilets for days?
"Let me assure you that no one here at Carnival is happy about the conditions aboard the ship
and we are obviously very sorry," said Carbival CEO Gerry Cahill, making everything better.
This is why we didn't get to cruise to Alaska.
Mrs. Bart doesn't mind if the plane goes down in flames but no plumbing? No way.
Send e-mail to Bart
Subject: Pope's resignation
Bart, the Pope's resignation was due to the HBO Documentary that came out just a few days ago.
The evidence was so true, he had to spend more time "with his old age".
http://www.hbo.com/#/documentaries/mea-maxima-culpa
Nancy M
Nancy, I don't know if that's the case. We've seen proof that NO amount of child rapes
will get Catholics upset enough to demand that action to prevent abuse be put into place..
You and I met over a decade ago at Carville's restaurant in Washington DC.
I remember walking the DC streets and seeing a newspaper headline in April 2002
about the thousands of child rapes that had been discovered and now, almost 11
years later, Catholics are still "shocked" that these daily child rapes continue.
The only conclusion one can draw is the rank-and-file Catholics are OK with
the rampant and blatant serial child rapes arpund the world.
What other explanation is possible?
Here's a test we've taken once before:
Pick ANY America city (I'm sure it works overseas, too) and since we just
had the Super Bowl. let's take the two cities of Baltimore and San Francisco.
Baltimore Priests upset by release of abuse list
Link
Baltimore priests responded with sadness and anger yesterday after the release of a detailed
account of Roman Catholic clergy accused of child sexual abuse over the past seven decades,
expressing concern that the church is trying to quell scandal at the expense of their rights.
That's why the Catholic Church exists - to rape little boys. Benny the Rat was the
rape compliance officer for the Catholics and the abuse ran rampant for decades.
They always say, "There's a few bad apples in efety barrel," but that's a lie.
Punch in "Plumber sex abuse scandal" or "Mechanic sex abuse scandal"
and you won't find 10% of the sex abuse these organzied Cathiolcs are running.
Sex-abuse allegation against S.F. Priest
Link
A longtime Roman Catholic priest in San Francisco has been put on leave after
church authorities learned of an allegation of sexual abuse dating from the 1970s.
Pick any American city and thenm read about the priests raping kids there.
Disclaimer:
I was never abused by a priest (or anybody) and I can prove it.
The church I went to as a kid has NOT been burned to the f-ing ground.
I just hate bullies and child rapists and people who enable such behavior.
Send e-mail to Bart
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Fight back!
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Bush bastards' emails hacked
Let's all take a moment and feel bad for them
Link
The Secret Service said Friday that it is investigating the theft of e-mails from the Bush family,
after an apparent hacker leaked the e-mails and Bush family photos to the Smoking Gun.
The Smoking Gun’s report included excerpts from e-mails in which the bad seeds of Herbert
Herbert Bush discussed his severe illness in December and made plans for a possible funeral.
The site also posted paintings made by Der Monkey Fuhrer including purported self-portraits
of the torture maturbator in the shower and the bath.
On the TV news they said the Bush bastards whined about this "terrible invasion of privacy."
Really?
Coming from the murderer who OK'd the federal government reading everybody's mail?
Send e-mail to Bart
America's beaches with no Democratic Party
Brett Farve Survives Tornado
Link
Brett Favre endured a tornado over the weekend. The storm missed Favre’s
property in Hattiesburg, Mississippi by less than a mile, and he’s surprised
that the tornado resulted in no fatalities.
“Nobody was killed!” Favre said . "Can you believe it?’ Amazin’.”
Favre had just returned home when the storm hit the Southern Miss campus.
"The tornado started probably a half-mile to one mile straight east of my property,”
Favre said. “Then it just veered and crossed the main highway in Hattiesburg before
heading to Southern Miss. You never hear of a college getting hit with a true tornado."
They said this was Farve's third tornado in Mississippi - in 18 months.
Whoever heard of tornadoes in February in Mississippi?
Tornado Alley has moved, but nobody talks about it - or why it moved.
I guess Jim Inhofe wouldn't like hearing that.
Send e-mail to Bart
Today's Sarah Palin Nude Photo
Link
Send e-mail to Bart
Quotes
"Todd and I find it sad to see that flags aren't flying at half staff for this American hero."
-- Sarah Palin, in Dallas, screeching at Gov Rick Perry for dissing the troops, Link
As you know, I really really love this Rove vs Teabagger civil war the GOP has going on.
Now if we could just get crazy Palin and nutty Perry to open a second war theater...
We need them to turn on each other and fight like the animals we know they are
for about three years, then let them come together in the summer of 2016 just in time
for Hillary to kick Rubio's sorry teabagger ass.
Send e-mail to Bart
There's a reason why some people don't
have kids
Link
Send e-mail to Bart
Marty's
Entertainment Page
has new stuff every day
Marty's TV Listings are the best!
has new stuff every day
Marty's TV Listings are the best!
Marty
always has good stuff.
Subject: Fuck you
Fuck you on your bias,
you say stupid bicycle but not stupid baseball or stupid ten pins
WHY??
Kevin McManners
McMonkey, were you attempting to make a point?
If you could scrape together enough words to form a thought perhaps we could communicate.
Guessing at what you might have been trying to say, I've always been consistent.
When you have a judge deciding who won, like in boxing, you get corruption.
To prevent that, if the bowling pins fall, it's a strike.
If a golfer can make the white ball fall into the cup in fewer strokes, he wins.
If Lance crosses the finish line first, he wins the race.
If the ball clears the outfield fence, it's a home run.
I put myself thru college by making the 9-ball fall more times than the other guy could.
Did I always know which pocket the 9 would fall in?
No, but I didn't care because IF it fell, I got lunch.
Maybe you should see a doctor about those lil' strokes.
Send Classic Lines to Bart
See more
at http://mariopiperni.com
Bartcop's Computer Repair
We can fix your computer
We do the repairs magically, over the Net.
We can fix your computer
We do the repairs magically, over the Net.
Know Your Classics
Link
Subject: last issue's Classic Link
Nobody got last issue's Classic which was Underworld, by Don Delillo.
Send Classic Lines to Bart
Send e-mail to Bart
Know your Supermodels
Link
Subject: Last issue's supermodel Link
Greetings My Dear Bartcop:
After extensive research I have determined that the Okie supermodel
in question is Angela Lindvall from Midwest City, Oklahoma.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angela_Lindvall
Stan in Durant
Send e-mail to Bart
Today's Wildlife Photo
Link
Send e-mail to Bart
Subject: Matanuska Valley TF
Hey Bart
It exists. Called Matanuska MFer back in the '80's when I was there.
Had heard of it before (rumors on the West Coast.... the Ideal that all
cultivators were aiming for, said to be far superior to anything from Maui).
Hitched a ride when my VW bus broke down. Guy picked me up, drove me to Anchorage,
and drove me to every parts store and wrecking yard in town until I found the part I needed.
Then he drove me back to his house to feed me dinner (funds were tight...I must have looked
a little lean). After eats he took me outback to show me his garden...half-an-acre of anything and
everything leafy. Between a row of the biggest g'damned cabbage you've ever seen and a row of
equally impressive lettuce, he pointed out a row of herb and said '...and you know what that is.'
He explained the valley was one of the few place north of the panhandle you could grow crops.
Growing season was short, but the sun hardly set for a couple of month. Berries and leafy stuff went wild.
Alaska was full of native-born and lower-forty-eight-self-exiles back then.
All the Tejan and Okie Fundies were still working the haul road and pipeline and hadn't yet decided to
settle down and completely f'up the Alaskan political system. Alaska had a real libertarian (little 'l', not the
Rand Paul version) bent back then, and growing pot for personal use was both legal and socially a cceptable.
Ain't so anymore. They traded in weed for God and now they've got oxi and meth and the witch from Wasilla.
Never drove through a town that had more churches than bars when I was there...bet that's change.
Stay away from the born-again and politicians and you'll love the folk up there. Enjoy.
James
Send e-mail to Bart
Going to Alaska
Mrs Bart has always wanted to go to Alaska and Hawaii.
Thanks to Scott H (Don HO) we got to Hawaii in 2005 and we thought we'd
better go to Alaska before I have to drag an oxygen tank behind my wheelchair.
We bought tickets last year but we kept running into reasons why we couldn't go so
we're trying once again to go - and we're Alaska newbies. Astrocat says March is the
best month for aurora viewing and the weather isn't always freezing - hopefully.
I heard Alaska had something called Matanuska Valley Thuderfuck
but I'm a journalist so I can't say it exists because I've never seen any.
Any Bartcop readers in Seward, Whittier, Homer, Wasilla or Anchorage?
And something new we're trying:
Be a part of the Trip Report!
Kick in for a tank of gas or a few dollars towards a hotel or a ferry ride or something and
your name (Earl C in Erie, if you like) would be in the sure-to-be-fun Alaska Trip Report.
"And the fifth night we stayed at the Wild Moose Hotel in Valdez
thanks to Bobby the Burner and Padre Mickey" type of thing.
So, I'm doing the page last week and PayPal calls.
They asked why I wasn't using their "Buy now, Pay in 6 months" feature.
I told them I wasn't really in the business of selling things, but that people donated
a few sheckles now and then and he assured me that lots of people would donate now
if they knew they had 6 months interest-free to actually come up with the cash.
I have my doubts, but back in 2000 I had doubts about online donations in general
so what the hell - we'll give it as try for a week or so and see if anything comes in.
Be in Bart's Alaska Trip Report
You could PayPal something to bartcop@bartcop.com
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Thank you
Today's Mystery
Celebrity Photo
Link
Subject: last issue's Mystery Celebrity Link
Bart, that’s Jerry Hall and an unusually hirsute Mick Jagger.
mj
Send e-mail to Bart
Link
Subject: last issue's Mystery Celebrity Link
Bart, that’s Jerry Hall and an unusually hirsute Mick Jagger.
mj
Send e-mail to Bart
Today's Mystery City
Link
Subject: last issue's Mystery City Link
Bart, that looks like Montreal, Canada,
Stan in Durant, OK
Send e-mail to Bart
Do you know today's Mystery Car?
Link
Maybe you drove one of these years ago...
Subject: last issue's Mystery Car Link
Bart, Bieber has a Fisker Karma plug-in hybrid, except the silver
made it look too much like a Prius for Bieber, so he had the whole
thing chromed (with fuscia LED strips for added bad taste.)
Redlake
Send e-mail to Bart
What is today's History Mystery?
Link
Subject: last issue's History Mystery Link
Bart:
The photograph in today's History Mystery is a portrait (apparently the only one)
of a black Union soldier and his family (his wife and two daughters), taken around 1865.
Monish
I lost the details, but that's either the last picture ever taken of a slave or
it's the first picture ever taken of a free, former-slave family - I forget which.
Subject: donation
Thanks to Jeff W for the 2Checkout donation.
Humor can get us thru the worst of times so we will keep on.
As my buddy Ray Coleman used to say, "Never quit!!"
Amazon.com seems to be my best bet to stay on the InnerNets.
...and if you shop with them, you might even save some money.
Please remember the Bartcop Portal when you shop online.
It never hurts to check http://amzn.to/bartcop prices.
Showtime's Emmy Rossom
Check out over 110 sexy and tasteful photos of Emmy Rossum
More hot babes in BC Hotties
Thanks to Blue in Seattle for helping me corral the hotties...
Send Your Hottie Suggestion to Bart
Use
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portal http://amzn.to/bartcop
and
they'll send bartcop.com
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It had everything.
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