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Memorial Day Weekend-Tuesday May 25-28, 2013 Vol 3067 - Broke yogi

In Today's Tequila Treehouse...


	Reagan in Today's GOP? Nah
	Jon Stewart reads Bartcop?
	Attention Gullible Teabaggers
	Lauer, Today Show Killing NBC
	Pot Helps with Blood Sugar
	Amazon Helps Tequila Treehouse
	Brit Hottie Cheryl Tweedy Cole

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Quotes

"I guess there is a market for my Rick Santorum-has-an-affair-with-Marcus Bachmann fan fiction."
-- LOLGOP in a Tweet with a Link

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Saint Reagan couldn't be in Today's GOP
Says Bob Dole, who's still alive

Link

When President Obama says Ronald Reagan would no longer win a Republican primary,
rabid Teabaggers don't bother to wonder where it all went wrong for their party.

But when a former Republican presidential candidate, Bob Dole, says essentially the same thing
on Fox News, as he did Sunday ... well, Baggers are probably still not going to get too worked up
about it because they're f-ing loons, but it might at least perk their ears a bit more.

The challenges facing the national Republican Party are well known, after getting Obama's shoe
up their asses last November.

It's a far cry from the days when Reagan won 49 states in 1984. Back then, there were Reagan
Democrats. These days, it seems, there aren't even Bob Dole Republicans.   ha ha

"Reagan couldn't have made it. Certainly, Nixon couldn't have made it, because he had ideas,"
former senator Depends said on Fox Lies Sunday.

Not content with saying Saint Reagan would have been run out of his own party today
because he had "ideas," Mr. Dole went further.   "They ought to put a sign on the GOP National
Committee doors that says 'Closed for repairs,' until New Year's Day and spend that time
going over ideas and positive agendas," he said.

The Republican agenda for America's future is Benghazi hearings.
That's all they've got and poor old Bob Dole knows it.

Look at Dole, actually doing something for his party and his country.
Did you ever think you'd see the day?

He's trying to tell them the GOP ship is sinking, but they can't hear him.
Rush and FOX news insist they lost because the GOP isn't Nazi enough.

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Who is an "athiest higher-up?" Marc Perkel?

Astrocat

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Amazon business has been slower than usual.
I hope things pick up between now and Christmas
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Extra thanks to those of you who
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Since last issue, the most interesting item purchased from

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Does Jon Stewart read Bartcop.com?

Video

Thursday on The Daily Show, Jon Stewart explained that Obama is going after people
whose crimes seem minor—especially when you look at them in comparison to what
Wall Street executives did to create the financial crisis. To which Stewart asked:
"What, none of them bought pot?"

Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: Atheist gives +1 to new Pope Francis

As an Atheist I have to say thank you to the new Catholic Pope Francis when he said,
"The Lord has redeemed all of us, all of us, with the Blood of Christ: all of us, not just Catholics,”
the Pope said, according to Vatican Radio. “Everyone! ‘Father, the atheists?’ Even the atheists. Everyone!”
Francis went on to say that “we all have a duty to do good.”

Of course we Atheists don't believe in Heaven or Hell, but that doesn't mean that I don't appreciate
the spirit of the statement. Up until now the official position of the Catholic Church was that we
Atheists were subhuman, evil, and that we deserved death and eternal damnation. And of course
we in the reality based community didn't like that; and who would like that?

But now a paradigm has been established. The new message is that everyone who does good goes
to Heaven regardless of what they believe and that we all have a duty to do good. I too believe we
all have a duty to do good. Now Realists and Catholics have more in common.

I have always thought that Christians were cheating the system with judgment being based on what
you believe rather than what you do, and that they claimed divine forgiveness for merely confessing
very bad behavior. I always thought, "Really, you think God is that stupid?" Now I think that God is
smarter than he used to be and I have more respect for the story.

I see this as a significant step forward for both Catholics and Realists, and with the Dalai Lama also
moving towards an all inclusive world view I see new respect happening between Realists, Catholics,
and Buddhists. Now if we can get the Protestants and Muslims on board maybe we can all work together
as one world and make this reality a better place to exist in.
Marc Perkel

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Lauer, Today Show Killing NBC
Ratings plunge to 19-year low vs GMA

Link

Dancing With The Stars may have hit its lowest finale ever on Tuesday night, but it helped
provide a nearly two-decade high to Good Morning America. With DWTS winners on the show
on Wednesday, the ABC morning series continued its dominance over rival Today by beating
the NBC show by 1.596 million viewers. That’s the largest single-day total viewership spread
GMA has had in fast affiliate results over the NBC show since May 18, 1994.

Oh, Matt, if only you hadn't allowed the bullying of Ann Curry.

Matt Lauer:
"Thanks for inviting me tonight. Usually I only get invited if Polio can't make it."

Matt Lauer - less popular than Polio.

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If only Obama could be as forward-thinking as
a Republican who's been dead for 150 years.

Does Obama read Bartcop.com?

Transcript of Drone Speech

Now is the time to ask ourselves hard questions – about the nature of today’s threats,
and how we should confront them.

As Commander-in-Chief, I must weigh these heartbreaking tragedies against the alternatives.
To do nothing in the face of terrorist networks would invite far more civilian casualties.
The terrorists we are after target civilians, and the death toll from their acts of terrorism against
Muslims dwarfs any estimate of civilian casualties from drone strikes.

Where foreign governments cannot or will not effectively stop terrorism in their territory, the primary
alternative is conventional military options. Conventional airpower or missiles are far less precise than
drones, and likely to cause more civilian casualties. So it is false to assert that putting boots on the ground
is less likely to result in civilian deaths. The result would be more U.S. deaths, more Blackhawks down, etc.

Obama essentially has three choices: Do nothing, use drones, or invade every country with a threat..
Once you remove "do nothing" from the list of options, drones beats invading everybody.

I agree with the President.
Drones are the only logical choice available to him.

Send e-mail to Bart

Marty's Entertainment Page
has new stuff every day

Marty's TV Listings are the best!

Marty always has good stuff.

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Jeanie is 78

Today's OMG! Don't Look Down Picture

Link

Maybe the scariest picture ever?

I must be photoshopped.
I mean, how could he even stand up to leave?

Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: you asked for e-mail

Bart, long time no see.
Hope you and the Mrs. and the cats are well.

They haven't gotten us yet.

I am now fully retired and dedicating my life to slingshot making and shooting.
Fuck Obama and the cesspool of pure corruption that America has become.
I have tried so hard, but now I'm 68 years old (as of today) and don't figure
I will last long enough to see anything get better. So as I say fuck it!

Two things I really wish I could do before I die are, get a hug from Tina Turner
and have a couple of drinks with Bartcop. Neither will ever happen. So as I say fuck it!

Shooting soda and beer cans with a slingshot sure is fun though.
I miss reading you every day.
All the best,
-- Pipe

Pipe, thanks for that.
How much for a slingshot?

...and where are you? Like Maine or something?
We still have some Southwest miles... :)

Send e-mail to Bart

Attention Gullible Teabaggers

Hey guys, remember how Glenn Beck and other for-sale hucksters
convinced you to buy gold back in 2011 when it was $1900 an ounce?

Remember how they said gold was king?
Remember how they said it was the best investment you could make?

Let's say you bought ten ounces of gold in 2011 for $19,000
(Actually, they add 10% buyer's fee so you'd pay $20,900)
that same amount of gold today is worth $13,910

So, Glenn Beck's lies have cost you $7,000, yet something tells me
you're OK with that because Glenn Beck is an honest patriot, right?

Send e-mail to Bart

Beautiful Nature Picture

Take a deep breath before you click...

Pot Helps with Blood Sugar
But Obama says you can't have your medicine

Link

People who had used marijuana in the past month had smaller waists and lower levels
of insulin resistance - a diabetes precursor - than those who never tried the drug, in a new study.

"These are preliminary findings," said Dr. Murray Mittleman, who worked on the study at
Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center in Boston.

"It looks like there may be some favorable effects on blood sugar control, however a lot more
needs to be done to have definitive answers on the risks and potential benefits of marijuana usage."

Let me guess:
Obama won't alloe the testing because it might prove that Reefer Madness is the least logical way
to treat a cheap and plentiful miracle drug that could help millions of Americams live better lives.

Send e-mail to Bart

Know Your Classics

Link

Subject: last issue's Classic Link

Bart, that's the opening line to Heidi by Johanna Spyri.
Heidi, I will never forget when NBC in 1968 cut away from the
Raiders/Jets game to the programmed broadcast of that suckass movie!
Mike95

To this day, they stay until every second has been played.
no matter how many touchdowns behind the Cowboys are.

Send Classic Lines to Bart

Subject: Keep hammering Obama on pot

Now we hear that marijuana can be of benefit in cases of PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder).
How much more evidence does Obama need before he legalizes the stuff?h
Eckhard Festang

He said it himself - sometimes he's slow to evolve.

Send e-mail to Bart

Today's Mystery Celebrity Photo

Link

Subject: last issue's Mystery Celebrity Link

Bart,

That is Elvis Aaron Presley, his momma Gladys Love and his daddy Vernon.
Keep hammerin,
Randall

Send e-mail to Bart

Today's Mystery City

Link

Subject: last issue's Mystery City Link

Bart, it’s Albuquerque!
Rick the Tip

Bart, that is Albuquerque, New Mexico!
I've been waiting for it to happen for years at it finally has!
By the way pot's not legal here yet but it is everywhere and
you can play poker at the many casinos around the town (or my house).
Breaking bad is actually a documentary about life here in abq. ha ha
Jeff in Albuquerque

Send e-mail to Bart

Name the Mystery Car

Link

Subject: last issue's Mystery Car Link

Bart, that's a 1937 Jaguar SS100 Roadster, the sort of car
that Monty Burns may have had as a youngster.
Davo, Stalybridge England

Stalybridge England via Google Earth

Send e-mail to Bart

What is today's History Mystery?

Link

Subject: last issue's History Mystery Link

Bart,
Wow, that one hit me square in the face like a brick. That’s Jim Croce.
Everyone knows the tragic story so I won’t repeat it.

I will add, however, that I cannot listen to “I’ve Got a Name”
without dissolving into a puddle of tears.
Rick P

Someone else wrote to say they knew a guy who was a stagehand at his last show.
He went to help Jim get on the plane and Jim handed the stagehand a guitar,
saying it wouldn't fit on the small plane.

Of course, I can't find that e-mail now.

Someone else wrote saying in college they did a show where
"Jim Croce from Villanova" was their warm-up act.

Can't find that e-mail, either.

I need interns.

Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: donations

Hey Bart, here are some shekles for you to keep swinging the hammer,
Brad from Canada

Brad, thanks for that.

Humor can get us thru the worst of times so we will keep on.
As my buddy Ray Coleman used to say, "Never quit!!"

Amazon.com seems to be my best bet to stay on the Tubes
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Brit Hottie Cheryl Tweedy Cole

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