From: Cfortunato@aol.com
Subject: Vulgar Pigboy
As God is my witness, acting on something you
wrote, I typed "Vulgar Pigboy"
into Yahoo!, and it gave me www.rushlimbaugh.com
- the porker's
official site! About fifth down the list.
I may stop laughing in about a half an hour.
ha ha
Giant Papier-Mache Puppets with the Charicature of Smirk in Putignano, Italy
From: KEYSAL@aol.com
Subject: End of Bartcop
Bartcop will end when Bush the lessor accidentally
launches a Nuclear warhead
while giving a tour of Missile silos to Big Oil
Republican contributors
letting each one have a turn at having their
finger "on the button."
The resulting Nuclear exchange and electromagnetic
pulses wipe out every web server
on the planet and plunges the entire country
into a power black out instead of just California.
During the 2004 Presidential debates held by torch
light, Bush will turn to Gore and say
"How 'bout dat dar Internet of yours NOW, eh
big guy? Not so cool as it wuz anymore is/was it?"
A "never say die" Bartcop will purchase an old
hand crank printing press and
start raising carrier pigeons. Circulation is
expected to boom.
From: to.bob@att.net
Subject: How do you keep your sanity?
Bartcop,
I quit listening to the radio the night Gore gave
his concession speech. I
have not watched TV in years (except Clinton's
State of the Union
addresses and his speeches). I found that it
was too depressing to see how
the hypocrites (Henry Hyde et.al.) were attacking
our second-best president ever.
I get most of my news from your website. Although
i find it depressing to
see what Shrub is doing to the country, I don't
see how you can keep your
sanity since you are involved with the information
for such a big part of each day.
Keep up the good work if you can. But please be careful.
Bob in OKC.
Bob, the trick is guns and alcohol,
From: Alan.Deikman@znyx.com
Subject: How will Bartcop end?
Dunno.
But the question made me wonder if you had ever
seen this website.
Belive it or not, "Pud's" website has become a
key source of
information for many in the investment community.
So I'm told.
Great web site.
At least one hit a day from me.
Alan
From: GGordonLippy@aol.com
Subject: Gore's Internet "Lies"
If you want further confirmation of Gore's involvement,
he published an article
on the initiative in Scientific American around
90 or 91. I remember this well,
because I wisecracked to my College Composition
students that the 92 veep
candidate was such a brainy guy, he could get
into a magazine like that,
whereas it would be doubtful that Spudboy Quayle
could even read an article
of that caliber, much less write one.
This began a long story of not being able to keep
my politics out of the
classroom, which eventually brought an end to
my teaching career, so it
is burned in my memory. But boy, you should have
seen the Reprignicants
when I tried to inject this into their autopilot
scripts during the 00 election.
It's true--when confronted with facts and logic,
they just start repeating the
same crap louder. A frightening spectacle. It
is an effort just to believe in
your own perceptions, when it comes to politics
in Buckeye Country!
From: jabramowitz@paceacademy.org
Subject: Faux News
My friend's father used to work at Faux News.
When they hired him as
chief of the news bureau, they actually asked
him if he could find and write
"news with a Republican slant."
Truly sickening. They know they can't hold
up under normal circumstances
in the court of public opinion, so they have
to tilt the "facts" in their direction.
Jeremy
From: renay@nwinfo.net
Subject: the end- which is just the beginning
Bart-
Bartcop will end on Nov. 8th, 2004. On that date,
the newly elected
Democratic President will announce your appointment
as Chief Inquisitor
of the soon to be formed Department of Media
Oversight.
I guess we can dream.........Presidential Decrees can't stop dreaming.....can they?
Jim Mitchell
From: williamkirksport@netscape.net
Subject: Sex and Gender Roles
Hi, Bartcop
Agree with
you basically on this one. This is well-traveled terrain in the
evolutionary psychology thread. Basically, males
are out to spread AS MANY of
their genes into the gene-pool as possible, while
females are out to spread as much
of their genetic makeup into the gene pool AS
POSSIBLE.
Females are for quality of contribution, males
are for quantity.
The two sexes are basically in competition with
each other. Yes, humans have this
big prefontal cortex, which introduces all sorts
of behavioral complexities, but because
both men and women cheat (statistically: about
2/3 of couples do, one or the other partner,
in every culture examined so far) within the
pair-bond, both kinds of bodies have evolved
PHYSIOLOGICAL (and unconscious) measures and
counter-measures to allow cheating,
or nullify it's consequences. This could not
happen if sex were all a matter of 'cultural conditioning',
and didn't at least somewhat have to do with
what's in our genes.
BTW, I'm reminded of something 'Mr
Chatterbox' in the UK's National Guardian once wrote:
"Conservatives think genes determine everything
except homosexuality,
and liberals think genes determine nothing but
homosexuality".
Sport
From: EnzioQuaf@aol.com
Subject: James Watt and Gail Norton
Here's a knee slapper for you.
Gail Norton is officially known as: Watt's Twat.
EQ
From: mbatchelor@hits.att.com
Subject: Locked out at work
Hey Bartcop,
Well,
it happened to me. I got locked out at work from your site
by our security server. The problem is the word
'Wh*re' (I think he means whore)
in your title.
You need to delete it from your html script.
If you don't, security servers
think your running a p*rn (I
think he means porn) site. Well, I'll
try and read you on weekends.
Good luck.
Mark
Mark, that will haunt me for a long time, I guess.
In the summer of 1999, we changed from RL-LNW to bartcop.com
so as not to scare the women, but some search engines still pick up
that old phrase.
Currently, it says, BartCop's Political Humor - Today's BartCop Rants
How will bartcop.com end?
The Great BartCop Finale
by hudson_todd@hotmail.com
Sept. 29, 2004
With the Bush Administration in flames, they have finally turned on their detractors.
In January 2001, 185 anti-bush sites were discovered
by the Bush inner circle, and the list was growing, becoming
stronger, and more organized. By 2003 this number
had grown to over 2,500. What were once several poorly
organized web sites had become of behemoth of
opposition, led by the notorious BartCop. BartCop had become
something of several thorns in the sides of the
Bush family. In 2002, he descended on Florida, organizing a massive
campaign against Jeb Bush and Katherine Harris.
Both were flushed out of office, and Katherine was forced to flee
the state once BartCop WorldWide Radio revealed
that she systematically sabotauged voting machines in
Democratic and minority districts. In 2003, BartCop
helped uncover evidence of money laundering by former S&L
badboy Neil Bush and his younger brother, Marvin.
Both went to prison, and both swore revenge against BartCop.
BartCop was on the rise and the Bush Machine was
angry and worried. In his hometown of Tulsa, Oklahoma, local
Congressman Michael Del Giorno resigned after
becoming entangled in a humiliating animal sex scandal, prompting
Oklahoma Democrats to get out the Big Hammer,
and capture the district that would swing the House of
Representitives in their favor. BartCop handily
won the special election, bring his hard-hitting style to Congress,
where he used his position to repeatedly slam
the Bush administration, and calling the President "full of horseshit".
The White House attempted to deride Congressman
BartCop as "corrupt and mentally ill", but this spin campaign
was aborted when Senate Majority Leader Marc
Perkel (R-MO) launched a major investigation concerning financial
transactions between members of the Bush Administration
and the nation's only oil company (several years of
mergers created one monopoly), Exxon-Bush-BP-Cheney-Shell-Enron-Halliburton-Mobil.
In July 2003, it had become apparent that the
Bush Administration was using any tactic possible to silence BartCop,
whose enourmously popular website was receiving
more hits than any other in the nation. On July 27, vice
president Jim Inhofe, who replaced Dick Cheney
after his 9th heart attack, announced that an investigation of
BartCop.com had revealed that it was passing
top secret information to the People's Republic of China. On July 29,
the infamous BartCop Manor exploded in flames.
It was ruled that a gas leak caused the incident, but several militia
members had been spotted in the vicinity in days
previous. BartCop happened to be on vacation in an undisclosed
location at the time. On July 30 web moderator
Genslab mysteriously disappeared and publicist Christian Livemore
was arrested for what Attorney General John Ashcroft
called "gross sedition and filthmongering".
It was believed at this point that BartCop went
underground. BartCop WorldRadio became dead air, but the website
mysteriously continued at the steady pace of
an issue per day. BartCop.com moved onto overseas servers. It was
believed, but never confirmed, that an 'underground
railroad' existed to support BartCop’s war against the Bushes.
As a result, Attorney General Ashcroft declared
martial law in all Western States, the last confirmed location of
BartCop. Houses were searched, telephones were
monitored and airwaves were scoured.
But BartCop could not be found.
At least until September 2004. Bush-Fox News Network
reported that gunfire erupted at a local tavern in Kalispell,
Montana. A six-hour investigation led by the
Ashcroft Morality, Godliness and Justice department concluded that a
liberal separatist group was responsible. All
bar patrons were gunned down in cold blood, and no witnesses could
be produced to determine what exactly happened.
“Among the victims was that of BartCop,” Ashcroft added. “I
cannot condone justice in this fashion, but we
should be God-blessed that we are no longer victim of the scourge
brought on to the United States by this heinous
and vicious anti-American.”
After the Bush Administration brought down the
webmaster, the pages of bartcop.com fell silent. Anti-bush sites
fell like dominoes. Some simply suffered repeated
server problems, while in other cases, the webmasters simply
vanished. “We are not orchestrating a campaign
against these vicious, treasonous, websites,” said Internet
Decency Bureau spokesman Tom Delay, “Perhaps
if were less ungodly in nature, they would be more successful in
their endeavors”
After BartCop was silenced, a dark cloud descended on America.
From: ca_creekin@yahoo.com
Subject: how will BartCop end?
The economy keeps going downhill as confidence
in our undemocracy plummets
and inflation rises to Carterlike levels owing
to higher energy prices created to please
Repug campaign contributors. Honchos at
major media conglomerates like ABC (Disney)
and CNN (Turner) decide that Resident Bush must
go. Congress turns Democratic in 2002-3.
Dubya is impeached and removed from office because
he lies under oath about Funeralgate
and his multiple arrests, one of which was for
a felony. You BartCop become a jetsetting media
pundit, and no longer have time to maintain a
PayPal-funded website.
Really one has to wonder about overall Repug political
"strategy" if they couldn't even win an
election with Nader running for the greens, fraud
in > 2 states, and a relatively charming if
alcohol-stupefied candidate. Codeword racism
and Xtian fundamentalism do not make
a majority now, and will do so less in the future.
Bill