Alone at his desk, The Hammer for freedom and liberty sat working at his desk going through the latest news
and developments of The United States of Oppression. While concentrating on what needs to be posted on
his web site, a loud noise disturbed him. It was his door being knocked of off the hinges with a battering ram.
Bartcop jumped to his feet and viewed several members of the elephant men (a spin off of the leopard men
of old Tarzan movie fame) dashing toward him. They were flapping their ears and waving their fake tusks
and trunks menacingly. Bartcop put up strong resistance but was subdued by the elephant men in a matter
of moments. The Hammer injured only a few of the elephant men, but managed to insult all of them before
losing consciousness after he was elephant man stomped.

When Bartcop came to, he was in some sort of ritual room surrounded by hundreds of elephant men.
He overheard one elephant man say to another "We are large in numbers because we fear him so!"
This causes Bartcop to have satisfaction that they are scared to take him on in small numbers.
Suddenly, an elephant man everybody was referring to as Elephant Brother Trent announced that
punishment had been decided. He shouted, "Bring out the sacred golden elephant!"

Seconds later, a large golden elephant was wheeled into the room. It was only cheap hardened, cold steel, but had a
coating of Krylon gold paint on it. Bartcop stared in silence, sensing an impending feeling of doom. He watched as
a long bungee cord with a large slingshot type patch was attached to each golden tusk. Elephant Brother Trent
ordered "Attach Bartcop in the patch backward. We will give it to him like we gave it to America during the
election in 2000! We want to hear him really scream!" With that, Bartcop was placed in the bungee patch
backward and stretched way out (this is working like a reverse slingshot). When the command to release was
ordered, Bartcop was violently slung backward, striking the rigid golden elephant trunk square in his rear end,
impaling him mortally. Bartcop did not cry out. He was biting his lip so hard, blood was running down his chin,
but not a sound did he utter. He whispered "Chinaco" to himself, and a few moments later he expired.

Suddenly, there was silence in the great ritual room of the elephant men.
Some of them had tears in their eyes.
Is this a show of compassionate conservatism because of what they had done?
Hell no, they were sad because Bartcop did not cry out, and the party was over until the elephant men strike again.

Alas, poor Bartcop The Hammer, we knew him well.