Poor Laura!  First, Russell Crowe burst your balloon:  after all your on-air
slavering over his abs, you read in the gossip columns that he had a fling
with Meg Ryan, and the mental image of him with a woman far younger, blonder
and prettier than yourself turned you off.  Now your "hero" Rudy Giuliani
has made such a pathetic ass of himself, he's turned even your stomach.
You're fast running out of studs that you can fantasize about, to distract
you from your seventy-something husband.

On your Tuesday, May 22 show, you almost admitted that you'd been wrong
about Rudy.  Of course, you knew when you praised him, months ago, that he
was carrying on his grand love affair with Judith Nathan, but until this week you've
overlooked HIS personal life because he's a conservative Republican.

Now his latest move -- trying to move his girlfriend into Gracie Mansion, while his
wife and children are still resident -- has been thwarted, and it's all over the media.
Of course, you couldn't resist attacking his wife, Donna Hanover, too --as if it were
HER fault that her husband is a serial adulterer!

The "Dr. Laura" line is to tell the wife:
"It's all your fault.  You knew what he was like before you married him.
You chose him.  He wouldn't have done wrong if you hadn't let him get away with it."

You made a nasty remark about the "Clinton School of Marriage."
Don't blame Bill Clinton -- of all people! -- for the embarrassment that Rudy has
visited on his two children (ages 11 and 15).  Bill Clinton is nothing like Rudy.
Bill Clinton lied:  Bill Clinton tried to keep his fooling around secret,
Bill Clinton didn't want to dump his wife, Bill Clinton didn't want to hurt his child,
Bill Clinton didn't flaunt his girlfriend in public, Bill Clinton isn't impotent.

(And the media kept quiet about Rudy's personal affairs -- there was no
"Manhattan Project" to destroy Da Mayor -- until Rudy gave them the story himself.)
No, it's the "Rudy Giuliani" School of Marriage that teaches men to humiliate the mothers
of their children by parading around with (as you describe the Widow Nathan) their
"little slut hussies."  Of course, I'm sure you blame YOUR husband's first wife for his
affair with you.  As "scummy" as Lew was to ditch his family to shack up with you,
Jeanne was worse, right?

Liar and cheat that you are, you fail to mention that it was Donna Hanover who
went to court, trying to keep her husband from bringing his girlfriend into his
children's home.  (You pretended that the judge you quoted so approvingly made
the ruling independent of either side.)  Envious yapping dog that you are, you called
Ms. Hanover "equally disgusting, on a different level," because she is an accomplished
actress who was given a role in an award-winning (1997 Obie) stage play.

According to you, Ms. Hanover is "scummy" because she agreed to appear in a play
with the word "vagina" in its title.  But what about you, Mrs. Values, Morals N' Ethics
-- you're notorious for your own vagina show on the Internet.  If Ms. Hanover's
children were harmed by their mother's saying the word "vagina," as you claim,
what damage did you do to YOUR "bunchkin" Deryk by saying to a woman -- less than
five minutes after your attack on Donna Hanover -- "In your next life, check both sides
[of your husband-to-be's scrotum], make sure there are testicles"?
How does a pig dare to decide what's kosher?

Only days before, you had threatened your audience:  "Someday I'm going to
be in the theater.  That is my secret, hidden wish."  What role could you possibly play?
In the "Vagina Monologues," you couldn't win a part as a genital wart.