John Madden: It sure doesn't, Pat. At this point, the Giants will need a miracle to win this one.

Pat: Wow! look at that, all of a sudden the sky has opened up... Let's see... Yep. It's the Son of God himself!
       He's driving a golden chariot with the hosts of heaven sweeping down as his escorts!

John: You're absolutely right, Pat. Jesus Christ is descending with the cherubim and angels proclaiming
         his name with the music of the spheres. Let's go to the telestrator - right there ( draws a circle) BOOM!
         That's Gabriel right there, positioned perfectly, I can tell that trumpet anywhere... and BOOM!
         Right there, that's Michael...there's his boat... his oar... and right there, BOOM.
         There's the Fallen One himself,  tied in tarnished chains, on his knees, arms fastened securely...
         no longer able to bedevil our Annointed President For Life, George Walker Bush.

Pat: Blessed be his name.

John: Boy, howdy!

Pat: That's a nice touch, right there, John. Having the attendees of Satan be Saint Nixon and Saint Reagan.
       Allowing them to beat the prone figure of Lucifer for eternity.

John: Hey, you're absolutely right, they earned it.

Pat: Now, down on the field...Jesus has left the golden chariot and walked over to... looks like Jason Sehorn, John!
       Yep, Jesus is taking Sehorn's helmet and , yes, Jason is leaving the game! The Lord himself is lining up with the Giants.

John: Good Coaching move by the Lord right there. Sehorn's been in a fog all day.

Pat: So would I, if I was sleeping with Angie Harmon.

John: Can't blame the guy.

Pat: Not much... Back to the Game...Griese behind center, McCaffrey in motion...

John: I expect a running play, gotta run down the clock...

Pat: The snap! The hand off to Anderson...Here comes Jesus on a Cornerback Blitz! Oh! What a hit!
       Anderson's helmet AND the ball go bouncing wildly...Jesus picks up the pigskin! He's going to score!
       Touchdown! Time runs out, Giants win the Super Bowl! What an amazing ending!

John: I've never seen a guy run so fast with sandals on!

Pat: Let's go to the replay...uh,huh...right there, the Tackle missed his block on God's own begotten son...

John: You bet, Pat. On the telestrator...Here you see...Jesus blew right by him. I think His Dazzling Glory
         must have blinded him, just enough...Oooh. And right there, Griese gets hammered, I'll tell ya, that little
         Semitic sure brings a load! And look at the speed after he gets that ball, (chuckles), that toga's flappin'
         in the wind...and all the Bronco's can do is look back and get a free shot of Completed Jewish Heinie,
         right there (draws a circle)... BOOM!

Pat: That loin cloth doesn't hide much. Now, let's go down to the field to our sideline reporter Jim Gray.
       He used to work for NBC, but since all other networks have been disbanded by the Freedom Of
       Monopoly Act, he's working for us. Jim?

Jim Gray: Thanks, Pat and John. I have with me, Kerry Collins the winning Quarterback. Kerry?
               What a great win, to what do you attribute the victory?

Kerry Collins: I just wanna say, that we owe this to our Lord and Savior, without him, this wouldn't have
                      been possible. We're Number One! Whoo-Hoo! Thank You Jesus!

Jesus Christ: Your welcome.

Jim: Jesus, do you...

Jesus: Hold it, Jim. I think you should talk with THIS poor sinner right here...

Jim: Okay, I'm talking to Ray Lewis, big free agent from Baltimore signed by the Broncos this year... Ray?
       Can you put into words you're dissapointment?

Ray Lewis: Well, we tried real hard, but, in the end, the Lord was against us...

Jesus: And do you know WHY, Ray?

Ray: This have anything to do with that double murder thingy...?

Jesus: No, Ray. You prayed and asked for forgiveness, you are redeemed...plus, you've got a fat wallett...get it?

Ray: Huh?

Jesus: Remember, when you signed your contract? What didn't you do?

Ray: Darn. The tithe.

Jesus: Exactly, you can pray 'till the cows come home, but nothing brings the Favour of the Lord like a fat 10%.
          You know, building the Kingdom Of God Here On Earth doesn't come cheap.

Jim: Jesus, one final question. Do you think it appropriate that the Son of God should favour...

Jesus: Whoa there, Jim Gray. I've heard about you, I saw that hatchet job you did on Pete Rose.
          Who are you to question God himself? Shame. Shame.

Jim: Um, sorry, Jesus. I'll pray for forgiveness.

Jesus: You better.

Jim: That's it from down here, back to the booth...Pat and John?

Pat: Thanks, Jim. Holy Moly! Jim almost stepped in some right there, John.

John: I'll say, it's a good thing that our Lord God was in a good mood.
         Bringing down the wrath of God can ruin a perfectly good day for football.

Pat: And that's it for the Super Bowl, fans. Stay tuned for a Fox News Special, Sean Hannity debates Bill O'Reilly.
       The topic - Summary Executions or Work Camps? What should be the fate of those Convicted For Being Poor.
       Should be enlightening.

John: The News Shows are way better, now that all the Liberals are gone.
         Plagues, boils and pestilence sure thinned their ranks.

Pat: I couldn't have said it better myself, John. Good Night Everybody!