BERKELEY, Calif., July 9 (UPI) -- Republicans have scarier and more
 frequent nightmares than Democrats concludes one prominent dream researcher.

"Republicans are nearly three times as likely as Democrats to experience nightmares when they dream,"
 Kelly Bulkeley, who teaches at the Graduate Theological Union in Berkeley, Calif., claims in findings to
 be released Wednesday at the 18th Annual International Conference of the Association for
 the Study of Dreams in Santa Cruz.

"Half of the dreams of Republicans in my study were classified as nightmares, compared to only about
 18 percent of the dreams of Democrats," Bulkeley reports.

 While Republicans and Democrats may agree with the survey's results, they are divided on the causes
 of the GOP's troubled sleep. Both parties, however, blame the man at the top.

"What do you expect after eight years of William Jefferson Clinton?" Kevin Sheridan, RNC deputy press
 secretary, told United Press International from Washington.

"If George W. Bush were the leader of my party, I'd have trouble sleeping at night, too,"
 Terry McAuliffe, Democratic National Committee chairman, told UPI.

 Sleeping Republicans also inhabit scarier dreamlands, according to Bulkeley who is former president of
 the Association for the Study of Dreams and author of  "The Wilderness of Dreams, An Introduction
 to the Psychology of Dreaming."

ha ha

Are you buying any of this?

 Aggression, misfortune, and physical threats characterize Republican nightmares, while familiar settings
 and friendly characters populate the kinder, gentler bad dreams of Democrats.

 Bulkeley also claims Democratic nightmares are tempered by the very principals Democrats claim
 to espouse -- hope, power, and positive action.

"My speculation is that people on the right are very attuned to the dangers in the world, and they're seeking ways
 to defend themselves against those threats," Bulkeley said in his paper. "They're drawn to a political ideology that
 favors things like a strong military and traditional moral values. People on the left tend to be more utopian and open
 to the possibility of going beyond the way things are now to how things could be made better."

Terry McAuliffe told UPI his dreams of a better tomorrow come with a fulfillment date certain:

  "On Election Day, 2004, we're going to elect a Democratic President and
 our long national nightmare will be over."

 ha ha

 I did not write this.

 For Republicans, according to Sheridan, the nightmares have finally passed:

 "Rest assured that with President George W. Bush in office, Republicans
  and Democrats are both resting a lot easier."

 Bulkeley said he was drawn to the subject of his latest study by what he
 terms a different national nightmare -- the 2000 presidential election. His
 paper, aptly entitled "Nightmares and the 2000 Presidential Election,"
 focuses on the dreams of Republicans and Democrats during and after the
 election and discusses new data on the differences in their dream content.

  "The dreams reflect, in both humorous and disturbing ways, the emotional
  turmoil people experienced in response to the election," Bulkeley explained.

 While the election nightmare has long passed with favorable results for Republicans,
 dreams populated by unfriendly faces still show up for them now and again, according to Sheridan.
 "We've always suspected Terry McAuliffe was off in a dream land," he quipped

  (Reported by UPI Science Correspondent Mike Martin in Washington.)