Now, I'm not a Torontonian, I'm a Canadian. ( reminds me of old movie
- Reagan playing captured air force
pilot, German Inquisitor says "You are American?" Reagan's character
retorts, " I'm not American. I'm from
Jersey City.") But just the same, I'm glad Toronto didn't get the Olympics.
You see, there is naught but
horror and destruction that awaits the winner of the bid. Don't believe
me? Check your history.
This may be a misperception of mine, bur let's see what I can remember
off the top of my head.
Berlin '36 - Within 9 years the German nation is destroyed.
London '48 - Bankrupted already overtaxed, recovering, war-stressed nation.
Melbourne '52 - Rabbit infestation. Don't laugh, it ruined the economy, pretty much.
Munich '72 - Palestinian terrorists and overexposure of Mark Spitz,
creating waves of
skinheads with 'porn-star' moustaches. Horrid.
Montreal '76 - How do you spell debacle? Canada won exactly zero gold
medals, sad when you're hosting.
More to the point, massive corruption and graft (traced to the Mayor's
office) bankrupted the city and they
were stuck with that Mausoleum - Olympic Stadium. Which, by the way,
keeps threatening to crumble to
the ground but, sadly, fails to fulfill the objective.
Moscow '80 - boycotted by the Free World. White guy won 100 meter sprint.
Afghanistan soon to become
USSR's Vietnam. Complete Communist collapse was only about 7 years
away.
Sarajevo '84( winter ) - Civil war soon followed, Olympic Stadium used
as killing ground.
Unrest continues to this day.
LA '84 - Boycotted by Unfree World. Soon to be followed by earthquakes,
race riots and the continuing scourge
of crack cocaine (thank you, Ollie North)
Seoul '88 - Canadian sprinter Ben Johnson wins gold in record time (9.69
seconds) only to fail drug test Badly.
Revelations of doping in sport follow, forcing the IOC to, once again,
turn a blind eye and the doping continues.
Meanwhile, Seoul faces recession in wake of having to foot the bill
for Juan Antonia Sandwich's special Geisha
foot massages. Revolting.
Barcelona '92 - Canadian rower Silken Laumann struggles back from life
threatening accident, wins Gold,
stripped of same because she used Claritin, a banned substance, because
she had a runny nose. thank you
pharmaceutical companies! Meanwhile Spain kept being, well, Spain.
Many bulls were to die horrible,
sacrificial death to please an ancient need for an old religion, Mithraism,
the official religion of the Roman
Legions until Constantime came along. Damn, I digress, and often if
you notice.
Atlanta '96 - The Corporate Cronies take over. Profit is made. Economics
over Athlete's comfort stressed.
Bomb goes off in park. Richard Jewel roughed up and blamed. Bill Clinton
Haters were honing their skills,
getting ready for the Cock Hunt of the Century. Freepers start to make
impact.
Sydney 2000 - Rabbit infestation, plus export of "Crocodile Hunter"
to unsuspecting countries worldwide, "
Isn't she a beaut? Coorr. What lovely fangs this Cobra has, ouch!
Blimey, I've been bit....feeling faint...(crumple)...help..."
Salt Lake City '02 may only be Winter Games, but that should not make
the Utes too comfortable. As
shown in Sarajevo, these Jinxes have ways of crossing over. Especially
when rampant immoral corruption
at HIGH levels in the IOC made a mockery of the whole bidding process.
Can you imagine how hard it
must have been to find a good Utah prostitute? By the way, what are
you gonna do when the Germans,
Canadians and Australians want beer after the curfew? That depends
if you want your city left in ruins. Ever
seen those three nationalities reaction to a 'Sorry, no beer' answer.
Wince, I hope the Mormons lock up
their children and hide the silver.
Finally, Athens in '04 holds some distint Destructive Possibilities,
we shall see. I hope at least the Greeks
do it right. They invented it, so hopefully it'll be a good experience
for them.
As for Beijing '08, I see trouble. Plenty of trouble. Right there in
Tianmen Square.
Will Students use the cover of the Olympics to rebel once more, will
the Falun Gong religious
movement try and force the Goverment's hand? Or, more likely, will
China be like Germany in '36
and use it as primarily a Propoganda Tool?
There's one thing I DO know, very few blessings come from hosting these
Games, often many headaches.
Sometimes, outright destruction and economic collapse.
So, even though I'm not particularly sympathetic to the Center Of The
Universe (Torontonians think they're
New York North, yeah right), I'm glad they didn't get it. Who knows
what ill winds would blow and what evil
deeds would follow? The City of Toronto should breathe a sigh of relief.
The Jinx has set it's sights on fresher pastures and a billion potential
consumers. I wonder if there was
Corporate support for the Beijingers? Maybe we should warn them? Hmmm.
I'll make them a deal, they
free Tibet, and I'll lift the Jinx - personally. But I also demand
one personal peccadilloe of mine - I want to
draw a funny moustache on Mao tse-Tung's portrait. They wouldn't shoot
me during the Olympics.
Would they?
7-17-01