As most of you probably know by now, James Hatfield, the author of a book alleging that George W. Bush
was arrested in Texas for cocaine use and served six months of community service in exchange for having
his record expunged, was found dead in an Arkansas hotel room last week.
The official police report listed the cause of death as suicide pending an autopsy report, but many people are
already crying foul, suggesting instead that Mr. Hatfield was eliminated by agents of the Bush family to
prevent him from discussing new evidence in the re-release of the book, entitled "Fortunate Son."

I have one thing to say about this whole sad business.  Remember how I was going around during the
presidential campaign shooting my mouth off about what a bastard Bush is?  I may have used epithets
such as "thief," "drunk," "dumb as sled tracks," "King George," "pretender to the throne," "evil" and "anti-Christ."

Remember all that?

Well, I take it all back.  I was wrong.  George W. Bush is a fine upstanding citizen,  and I regret any remarks
I may have made or written that angered Mr. Bush, his lovely family or his secret CIA connections in any way.

And do you remember how at the Inauguration, as the presidential limousine drove by, I was among the folks
who flipped George Bush off?  Well, I don.t know what happened there.  I must've been drunk at the time.
I'd had a bad week, and my job wasn't going well, and it was pretty cold, and by the time the motorcade drove by
I was in a pretty surly mood.  A lot of the  folks around me were doing it, and well, what can I say?
I just got in with the wrong crowd.

For months now I've been going on and on about how Bush doesn't care about normal Americans;
that he's in the pocket of big business, the oil companies and big tobacco; that he's going to wreck
the economy to give his wealthy friends a tax cut and he's going to gut Social Security like a fish to do it.

But I feel I've been too negative.  I've been taking a half-glass-empty attitude toward George W. Bush.
From now on, I pledge to focus on the more positive aspects of Bush's administration.

Let me give you an example.  Everybody is angry at Bush right now for pulling the U.S. out of the Kyoto
treaty talks.  Every other major country on the planet is going to sign this treaty except the United States,
and folks are saying that Bush won't sign because it would force his big business cronies to tighten their
environmental standards, which would cost them some of their precious money.  But I think we should
look at this from Bush's point of view.  I mean, really, think about it:  What have trees ever done for you?

Take the case of my neighbor Denise.  She has a beautiful 200-year-old brownstone two doors down
from me, and there is a giant oak tree out front, the roots of which are buckling her sidewalk.  When guests
come to visit, they have to walk all the way around to the other side of the tree to get to her front steps.

Now I ask you, is that efficient or fair to Denise's guests?  Next week she's having a tree removal company
come to remove this tree.  It's just as well.  It's an old tree anyway, nearly 100 years.  It's outlived its usefulness.
And look at the bright side, since Bush has refused to force companies to regulate their toxic emissions,
the tree would otherwise die a slow lingering death from ozone poisoning.

You see?  I've turned over a new leaf.
I am not the same person who said all these mean, mean things about George W. Bush.

And if you think about it, even if I did say all those things about Bush, what does it really matter?
In fact, what do I really matter?  I'm insignificant, a speck on the wall of the big picture.  I mean, let's face it,
nobody takes me seriously anyway.  I'm just a little writer from a teeny, tiny little Internet magazine.
Mr. Bush, if you're reading this, remember:  I am not worth the effort.  I am no threat to you.

But then again, neither was James Hatfield.
The real threat to George W. Bush is the truth.
 
 
 
 
 

(Epilogue:  For any of you who may have been offended by my treatment
in this piece of Mr. Hatfield's tragic death, I hope you will
understand that I am trying to find some good in a horrible tragedy by
using Mr. Hatfield's death to make a salient point about the current
band of thugs occupying the White House.  I mean this as an homage to
him and his courage in standing up against the Bush regime to the very
point of giving his own life.  The author.)