Planet of the (Sour Gr) Apes
 
I was off to the theatre right after work, excited about the new version of one of my all time favorite movies.
I got my popcorn and drink and settled in for what I completely expected to be a wonderous vision of a
talented director.  What visions could he insert now with the new technologies?  What dark vision did he
have for this wonderful timepiece?  How would the undertones of nuclear war and racism translate today?
 
Maybe it was just that I was jaded from having grown up watching all of the originals, but what appeared in
front of me was nothing short of blasphemy!  If he intended to make a traditional action flick with talking
apes, he succeeded.  If he intended to extend the legend of these great movies, he failed miserably.
What I saw was nothing short of an advertisement for action figures...."I like the chimps",
"I want the Leo character", "I want a taco because it comes with a ape car"
 
The film started off almost the same, but quickly all similarities ended.  The humans talked, the planet had
multiple moons thus erasing doubt it was Earth, and a chimp falls in love with a HUMAN?????  Idiotic!!
I am sure the kids of today will love this movie, and it will make 100 million, but it is NOT going to be a
classic, nor will it be endeared by those of us who love the original.
 
The only part which hinted at the past movies was Heston (AS AN ELDER APE????) reciting a
famous line from the first film, to much hoopla in the crowd (or the 50 or so who knew what it was from).
There was no clue that the film was actually asking the question about reverse racial discrimination,
which kills the whole idea behind the film
 
If you want more reasons, try this on for size...an ape says "You don't want a human teenager in your
home"...this drivel from one of the darkest directors in history?  This from the man who brought us Batman
the way it should have been and Sleepy Hollow??  No, this was your basic Hollywood drivel which is
spewed at us every summer.
 
I say, if you are a fan of the old movies, save your $9 and either sneak in or buy a copy for $5 on the
streets of NY (they were out there already by the time I left the theatre).  If you are looking for a simple
mind numbing BS that Hollywood wants you to waste your money on, go ahead.