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Sally's American Idol recap
Paring 11 down to nine
The music of Sir Elton John tonight
- Hummmmm.
Great songs done by mediocre singers. Uh oh, this could be brutal...
But first we have to 'welcome' the
judges, and the host - then relive the BS from last week... I hate this shit!
Ooh, there is a clip of 20 year old Elton - Liberace's little
brother... Now we have to endure
a fashion shoot of the kids and watch them making love to
themselves. I'm ready to hear
Sir butchered and served up piping hot, via the, "Top 11," so here we
go:
1) Scotty McCreery, "Country Comfort."
Standing with his Guitar, still sounds C&W. Geek-tastick!
Shout out to grandma! Well, he's got my vote right there!
J you have amazing instincts, and you keep grounded.
R you have seasoned from the auditions. You sound like you are at your concert,
or have already made a record, and are singing a cut!
Note: Get ready for Nashville,
Scotty, they are already rolling out the, 'Red Carpet' for you!
2) Naima Adedapo, "I'm Still Standing."
Raggae OMG! She's still standing, but she still can't sing. Naima needs
to learn that it takes a
bit more than some dreadlocks to pay tribute to her 'culture.' Still,
she gets my personal appreciation
for being interesting! If she sticks around, I would really love to
hear her sing a Miriam Makeba or Nina Simone classic.
J she loves you, and loves the
raggae swag. However, she thinks it was a better idea than form.
R agrees with Jennifer. He loves raggae, but thinks it made you sound
corny.
S "Boom shacka, locka locka baby..." (I swear, that is what he said...)
Note: I think my girl Naima's in
trouble. She got the number 2 slot, and then, got slammed by the 'nice'
judges...
3) Paul McDonald, "Rocket Man."
For starters, Paul always looks so scuffy. I wonder, did he cut up
mom's drapes for his jacket?
Oh, I'm, sure you are, "high" Paul... The jumping, bending, contortions
- insufferable.
His singing is an assault. His voice is so affected, and he was
just an overall mess.
Bart says: I think he sings like Macy Gray (Not a
compliment)
R liking to quiet comfort, but
Randy's not going to lie, heard 'pitchy' and thinks you are holding
back.
J allow yourself to go all the way.
S we believe - are you watering those flowers on that jacket? Sometimes
you hit a note, sometimes you don't...
Note: Who knew Elton John had this
many boring songs? (Can't be the singers, can it?)
4) Pia Toscano, "Don't Let the Sun Go Down On Me."
She has to sing this balled because she's so passionate - she says...
Backed by her Eltonettes
- same old, same old. Pia and her endless saccharine ballads are
technically proficient;
Pia's diva ballad style is not. Also, she talks like a Kardashian.
That's two strikes, Pia.
S you've done it again. Ballads are
what you are.
J your notes take us to another place.
R you slayed 'em every time... Show the public you have a range,
though...
Note: No Celine/Whitney material
here, not even close. More like Broadway,
or a really good cruise ship - yeah, I like the latter...
5) Stefano Langone, "Tiny Dancer."
How I detest this Jimmy character who is, 'coaching' him. Famous and
rich as he may be,
he annoys the shit out of me - almost as much as does Stefano. More
pained faces, but the
eyes are open, not that it matters to me... It was all very loungey and
had none of the funk
of the original. Stefano sings another song like he's singing it to his
mother, let me reach for
the FF button... It comes out, as Simon would have said: "Forgettable".
J she can feel that you are
connecting with the audience. She thinks you are amazing,
but she tosses that word around at random, so I don't take it to mean
much for you, Stefano...
R likes that you are moving around the stage, and that you hit the
money note. (He did?)
S you are connecting with the audience and nailed it - being so crazy
young and all...
Note: Stefano's makeover involves
very tight pants. Do we really need to know this?
6) Lauren Alaina, "Candle In The Wind." It would be nice if I could
catch the words she
is singing, such bad diction. Apparently, she went to the same
Elocution school that Lee DeWyse attended.
First we see her photo shoot, and how much she loves herself... Yup,
she ate the camera up!
This girl is so obviously Nigel's favorite, there's no need to discuss
it, anymore. Complete karaoke.
No interpretative talent, whatsoever. Embarrassingly immature interview
moments.
R one of EJ's best songs, and for
Randy, one of the best performances from you. Very Hot!
S "I've loved you since the first night you laid eyes on me." Keep
singing like that and soon you can afford the rest of that dress.
J You are amazing (There goes Jennifer, tossing it around again...)
7) James Durbin, "Saturday Night's All Right."
He is entertaining, and always wakes up the crowd! He hits the audience
on both feet - you either love him or hate him.
I love him.
Ooh, good mic stand toss - stage antics, screech, piro-techs, and performance! Oh yeah!
S you brought the heat. "Don't be
up there too long, like me." (What the Hell does that mean?)
J when you're up there I think I'm at a concert.
R love how you enjoy yourself. Love the fire, the piano - great
performance.
Note: Love James, but he definitely
needs to get his ears pinned back. They are very distracting from his
talent.
8) Thia Megia, "Daniel."
Such a sweet voice, much better than Pia. True pitch and not harsh at
all. Good song choice for her.
J that was beautiful, a beautiful
moment.
R liked the relaxed side of you, but he says he heard a few pitchy
notes. (I sure didn't hear them.)
S you sang a great Elton John song.
Note: As soon as you are eliminated, Thia, Disney is gonna scoop you up!
9) Casey Abrams, "Your Song."
Poor Casey castrated himself to make him more appealing to the
critics. His song was
really weak - or, Hummmmm, boring? More like a hotel lobby performance
R one of best performances you've
had.
S last two notes deserved standing ovation! You, "sing different" every
time.
J glad we saved you Casey, and you proved it tonight.
Note: They just had to revisit, 'THE MOTHER OF ALL SAVES' didn't they...
10) Jacob Lusk, "Sorry Seems to Be The Hardest Word."
Who shows up for a cameo appearance, but MJ Blige - that was nice of
her... What?!
No evening gown and feathers in his photo shoot? So producers, if the
song can easily
be over dramatized, why would you give it to the biggest 'drama' queen
on the show?
Here comes the smoke - can the mirrors be far behind. Don't cry Jacob,
that's over the top.
Good strong end note. Jacob's performance was very good. Jacob does
have a great talent
but he seems to, "gospelize" everything he sings.
S you get far out there when you
sing. You slayed Steven.
J you made it your own...
R remember to add a, 'Jacob spot.'
Note: Lord forgive me, but I was so
hoping Jacob would come out
in black leather and chains, and rip into Bennie and the Jets...
11) Pimp Spot: Haley Reinhart, "Benne and the Jets."
Sitting on the piano. Sounds good, looks bad.
J that's it, Haley. Amazing (again).
R amazing, best performance of the night.
S you sing sexy.
Note to Steven: Yes, THAT always
gets Middle America's votes.
Program change: The theme for
tonight was, "Let's See Who We Can Over Praise the Most."
I'm not going to lie to you here, readers - my precious gs is named,
"Jonathan Elton" after you
know who. His parents are crazy EJ fans, and I think they will agree
there is a difference between
loving Elton John, and liking other people trying to
cover/mashup/butcher/sleepwalk/regg-ate/
countryfornicate/cheese-glam/or otherwise make the song, 'their own.'
IMHO, there are way
too many personality-challenged contestants singing ballads this
season. According to the judges,
everything is fabulous all the time. These people need some real
criticism.
Thank God for James and Haley...or
I'd have been asleep tonight!
I just heard on FOX local news,
that Casey and Haley are an item. Cute.
Was Ryan going to a, "Great Gatsby" party after the show?
Read me next time,
SP