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Did
Men in Bible Times Really Have Balls as Big as a Donkey's?
Pastor,
Please forgive me to uses the words, "Balls."
Just hoping you answer my letter of the thousand you receives ever
month.
I is very sincere about my questian. I just turn 17 and allow to read
Bibles by myselfs.
So there is a verse I is curiousity about. The verse say:
There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of
donkeys
and whose emission was like that of horses - Ezekiel 23:20
I look up the word genitals in the dictarionary and it say, Balls! OMG! LOLS!!!Sorry!!!
So Pastor, did mens in Bible times has donkey balls?
Thats is VERY BIG!
Stacey-Lynn
Landover Baptist Academy for the Saved
Age 17
Stacey-Lynn,
The Bible is certainly full of
wonderful amazing facts, but accepting the fact that most folks
lived to be over 800 years old
is a whole lot easier to swallow than believing that every man
in the Bible walked around town
with giant donkey-sized tallywhackers and balls the size of
grapefruits! Good Heavens! That
would explain why they wore robes! And they still do to this day!
I can't expect a young lady like
yourself to understand how difficult it would be to stuff a donkey
dong into a pair of Wrangler
jeans. A-men?
Stacey-Lynn, what you need to
understand up front, before you attempt to swallow this whole
thing is the "context" of the
verse you are quoting. Ezekiel 23:19 teaches us that a woman
"played the harlot in the land
of Egypt." So, the Bible says that this whole donkey dong
situation was localized to
Egypt-land.
Now, it gives me great joy in
these modern times to tell you that God's Word never changes!
Stacey-Lynn, if you've turned on
Fox News lately, you will see that Egypt-land is the top story
across the world! Why? Its
because everyone in the world is amazed at how big Egyptian men's
balls are! As tens of thousands
of them take to the street to overthrow their government.
That takes some mighty big
balls, I'd say. And God says it too! Praise His Holy Name!
If everyone in the whole world
would just stop for a minute and open their Bibles to Ezekiel
23:19-20,
they'd find out what we True
Christians have known all along! Egyptian men have tallywhackers
and dingy-sacks the size of a
donkey's! Praise God for giving us evidence His Word is true,
even in these modern times!
And Stacey-Lynn, for the benefit
of anyone in internet land or any member of the Landover Baptist Church
who happens to be reading my
answer to your question, I'd like to make one thing clear.
I don't condone quoting the 2011
New International version of the Bible! unless the Lord
calls me to do so for the sake
of blessed convenience.
The King James 1611 version of
the Bible, or as I like to call it, the Real Bible,
doesn't use the word, genitals
in Ezekiel 23:20. The KJV 1611 uses the word, flesh:
"...she doted upon their
paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is
like the issue of horses."
So, according to Real Bible,
Egyptian men had some mighty hairy hineys in their day!
And they pranced around like
horses, neighing whenever any issue came up!
Miss Stacey-Lynn - The more I
think about it, I believe the Bible based fact that every man
in Egypt is doing a might bit of
prancing around nowadays, because they are dealing with all
sorts of issues is a more
important thing for a girl your age to focus on than the size of their
genitals or even how many hairs
they have on their hineys.
After praying over your E-mail,
I decided to forward it to Dr. Edwards and request he schedule
a gynecology appointment with
you and a counseling session with your mother and father.
Until then, please refrain from
reading the 2011 New International Version of the Bible
without a Baptist Pastor's
supervision.
Sincerely,
Pastor
Deacon Fred
CEO
Head Pastor
Landover Baptist Church
