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Rick
Santorum's Anal Sex Problem
It's always the ones you'd never
suspect...
Rick Santorum would very much like
to be president. For the past few years, he has been diligently
appearing
at the sorts of conservative events—the Values Voters Summit, the
Conservative Political Action Conference
—where aspiring Republican candidates are expected to show up. But
before he starts printing "Santorum 2012"
bumper stickers, there's one issue the former GOP senator and his
strategists need to address. You see, Santorum
has what you might call a Google problem. For voters who decide to look
him up online, one of the top three search
results is usually the site SpreadingSantorum.com, which explains that
Santorum's last name is a sexual neologism for
"the frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the
byproduct of anal sex."
ha
ha
Santorum's problem got its start
back in 2003, when the then-senator from Pennsylvania compared
homosexuality
to bestiality and pedophilia, saying the "definition of marriage" has
never included "man on child, man on dog,
or whatever the case may be." The ensuing controversy prompted
syndicated sex columnist Dan Savage, who's gay,
to start a contest, soliciting reader suggestions for slang terms to
"memorialize the scandal." The winner came up with
the "frothy mixture" idea, Savage launched a website, and a meme was
born. Even though mainstream news outlets
would never link to it, Savage's site
rose in the Google rankings, thanks to bloggers who posted
Santorum-related
news on the site or linked to it
from their blogs. Eventually it eclipsed Santorum's own campaign site
in search results;
some observers say it contributed to Santorum's crushing 18-point
defeat in his 2006 campaign against Bob Casey.
I'm happy about Rick Santorum's
anal sex problems.
It couldn't happen to a bigger asshole, unless it was Jim
Inhofe.