I heard this yesterday, which means most people heard it last Friday.
 I came in late, but I heard enough to know what was going on.

 A woman called and said her husband was a musician who often left town for live gigs.
 She said he promised to give that up when they got married, and he did.

 Years later, she said, he felt that itch and told her he wanted to rejoin the band,
 and that meant he'd be away from home more than she wanted him to be.
 So she stupidly called Laura the homewrecker for advice.

 Laura the slut went totally berserk.

 He doesn't care what you want - it's all about what he wants.
 That means you're Number Two, Honey, and you're still with him?
 What's wrong with you?
 Don't you have any self-respect?

 Why are you still with this guy?
 Can you explain that to me?
 Huh, can you?
 What's wrong with you, lady?

 Do you enjoy being trampled on like a doormat?
 Why are you still with this bum?
 Do you have any kids?  You do?  A six year old daughter?
 Are you going to raise her with that bum as an example of a Dad?

 You've already ruined your life by picking that bum,
 now you're going to ruin your daughter's life, too?

 You're going to raise your poor little girl with these values?

 Here's the part where I reached for my gun.

 Tell me, woman, are you running for the Senate?

 The poor woman, mostly in tears, says, "What?"

 You heard me - are you running for the Senate?
 Because the only reason anyone would stay with a bum is if she was running for the Senate.
 So, I'm asking you - are you running for the Senate?

 Laura the slut hammered and hammered this poor woman.

 Now & then, the poor woman would try to talk and Laura the slut would cut her off.

 I don't want to hear it!!!!
 I don't want to hear it!!!!
 There are no excuses!!!!

 He's made it clear that you're Number Two, or your daughter is Number Two
 and you're Number Three, so why are you still with this bum?
 

 She continued to hammer this poor woman who, by now, stopped talking entirely.
 Knowing the type of braindead idiots who call her for advice on how to live their lives,
 this woman either divorced "the bum" that day, or hell, maybe she shot his deadbeat ass.

 But that little girl probably lost her daddy because her stupid and confused mother
 got between Laura the slut and an extra dime, so she lost big-time.
 

 ...and then I got to thinking...

 Years ago, Laura the panty-dropping slut,

 Proof:

 ...was paid $70,000,000 for her hate show.

 She also signed a contract that paid her $12,000,000 a year to mangle the braindead callers.

 So it's my best guess that to Laura, Money is Number One, and her precious Deheyreche might be
Number Two, and then poor Lew is Number Three.

 But then I got to thinking some more...

I heard the slut say she's written another book since 9-11:
Ten Stupid Things Airlines Shouldn't do for Hijackers, or something like that, and that made me think
her precious Deheyreche might be Number Three, after her radio show and publishing empire,
and then poor Lew is Number Four.

But then I got to thinking...

Laura the slut sells what she claims is "handmade jewelry."
So, after her hate radio show and her publishing empire, she has her jewelry business that must
take up a lot of her time if she's really making each piece herself, by hand, like she claims.
That means her precious Deheyreche might be Number Four, and then poor Lew is Number Five.

But then I got to thinking...

She used to have a TV show, before the market spoke and told her to take a f-ing hike.
That means her precious Deheyreche might be Number Five, and then poor Lew is Number Six.
 

...but that poor lady on the phone had to leave her husband because, according to Laura,
she was made into a lesser human beingbecause her husband enjoyed playing live music.
Meanwhile, the super-rich Laura, who never has to work another day in her life, has her myriad
of empires that allllll come before her little munchkin and poor Lew with the bad heart.
 

Laura, you're a whore.

You ruin the lives of stupid people for the entertainment of others.
You say marriage is sacred and divorce hurts the children, so why in the world
are your breaking up this family just to entertain the idiots who don't get the joke?

Last thing, Laura...

If you don't like me running that photo, why don't you sue me?