I had the most infuriating conversation with the Democratic National Committee.
 Christian is always saying, "Let me talk to those people, that's what a publicist does," but did I listen?

 Noooooooo.

 I called the DNC yesterday and asked to speak with someone in Terry McAuliffe's office.
 They put me thru to Justin.

 I told Justin, "I have a pro-Democrat dot.com and I'm organizing a fund-raiser for Julie Hiatt Steele
 and I was wondering if I could get some star power from the DNC to add some punch to this event
 that's being held April 27th in Washington DC."

 Justin said, "Hold on, you need to talk to Donna."
 (fake name - This bridge could easily burn, but now's not the time.)

 So (this is the short version) I got Donna and gave her the same schpiel I gave Justin.
 She seemed very confused.
 She couldn't understand the words that were coming out of my mouth.

 I said, "I'd like to ask how I might go about getting some big names from the DNC
 to introduce Julie or lend their name to this fund-raiser to make it more successful."

 Donna said, "What's her name again?" and I said "Julie Hiatt Steele."

 Donna said, "What district is she running in?"
 

 (cough)

 Starting to steam...

 I said, "Julie Hiatt Steele, the lady who saved Clinton's presidency!
 The lady who made Ken Starr back down, the lady who lost her home saving Clinton!

 ...this IS the Democratic National Committee, right?"

 Now,

 ...are you sitting down?
 ...are you ready for this?
 

 Donna says, "Sir, we don't get involved in fund-raisers."

 I said, "What?"

 Donna says, "We don't get involved in fund-raisers."

 I said, "Am I missing some subtle semantic nuance, here?
 I'm not asking you to donate money, I'm just trying to..."

 Donna says, "I'm sorry, Sir, we don't get involved in fund-raisers."

 I wondered if this was the reason we're no longer in the White House.

 I asked again, "This IS the Democratic National Committee, right?"

 She kept repeating the same line, over and over:
 "I'm sorry, Sir, we don't get involved in fund-raisers."

 ...and I'm like, "Stop saying that!"

 By now, I'm starting to lose it.
 I wasn't expecting them to say, "Sure, Bart, what do you need?"
 I wasn't expecting them to say, "Anything you need Bart, after all those nice things
 you said about us being spineless wimps and scared, pink-tutu-wearing bunnies."

 Frankly, I was expecting to be brushed off in a much smoother and more professional manner,
 hopefully by someone who knew who JHS was.  I mean, Jesus Christ, this is the DNC and
 Donna didn't have the slightest clue about the major players of last four years.

 But after hearing  "I'm sorry, Sir, we don't get involved in fund-raisers," six or seven times,
 I tried to educate her by saying, "Lady, that's what politicians do about half of the time they're awake
 - they raise money - why do you keep telling me you don't get involved in fund-raisers?"

 But all she could say is "I'm sorry, Sir, we don't get involved in fund-raisers,"
 so I thanked her for her time and wished her a nice day.
 Christian was right. I have no business dealing with people.
 I need to take her advice more often.

 Maybe, someday, the hammer will grow and get big enough that the DNC might call to ask
 The Keeper of the Treehouse for a favor.   I'll ask them to put Donna on the phone.