WORLDWIDE CALL TO ACTION: FREE GEORGE W. BUSH
By Dave Gibbons
 
George W. Bush, a wealthy heir in the young nation of The United States, is being held hostage.
Regardless of how one personally feels about a bloodthirsty hatemonger, we have to agree that
no one should be imprisoned unjustly, even if he himself has promoted unjust imprisonment.
Two wrongs don't etc. etc. So all fair-minded people around the world must call on
George W. Bush's captors to free him NOW!
 
The captors: The Iron Triangle
Over five years ago, a militant group of anti-government rebels calling themselves "The Iron Triangle"
began working to subjugate the son of a former US President. Raising vast sums of money from
largely anonymous sources, The Iron Triangle was able to force the innocent, simple heir
(a recovering substance abuser who is reportedly learning disabled) to do their evil bidding,
from simply embarrassing public performances up to and including premeditated murders
numbering in the hundreds. The aim of this group is nothing less than a coup d'etat, installing
their captive as a puppet king with the title "President of the United States."
 
The plot: Steal a United States Election
Under the arcane rules of the US constitution, such coups are largely tolerated if the aggressors
perform a series of strange ceremonial acts (dubbed a "Presidential campaign"). The duties include
making public speeches (feared by most worse than death), answering questions from monied
interests who actually choose the President (the "Press"), and compelling a small number of US
citizens to "vote," a process where white people are required to poke holes in paper with sticks.
Brown-skinned people are systematically marginalized during this archaic ceremony, with a
random number being allowed to participate while others are turned away.
 
The evidence: Unanswered Questions (Many Unasked)
During the last five weeks of the campaign, after the captive heir famously and repeatedly failed
to pronounce "subliminal" at an informal "Press avail," he was not allowed to talk to the Press
"on the record." The only way one could hear George W. Bush talk about The Iron Triangle's
policies was under the terms of his captors -- on their own stages, with their own props, and
with their scripts. There was one notable exception, a five-minute, heavily-scripted drunk
driving non-confession confession, but even then he only answered questions about drunk
driving, not policy. Reliable sources say he couldn't sneeze without permission from The Iron Triangle.
 
During the pre-election crisis, captors released one videotape of the heir, obviously suffering from
torture and mental cruelty. The half-hour videotape was shown only on the country's most right-wing
network (called the "Fox" by the secretive cabal that controls its content). In classic hostage videotape
style, the tape shows a nervous captive stumbling over a script, clearly terrified. Since this broadcast
was made on a Friday night (traditionally a night for not watching television), it is estimated that only
two people (Brit Hume, who broadcast the tape, and this author) actually saw the entire event. Other
television networks were unwilling to show the footage, deemed "too gruesome" for general consumption.
 
As has been widely reported, after the ceremonial "election day" there was some dispute over how
many brown-skinned people had been turned away. The Iron Triangle protested that too many had
been allowed to participate, including Jews, who are generally not brown-skinned but are traditionally
included in the "randomly disqualified" group. The contest was extended until more votes pieces of
paper with holes could be attributed to these groups and randomly disqualified.
 
This presented a problem for The Iron Triangle. They had publicly promised to release the captive
heir AFTER ELECTION DAY, installing him in the young nation's highest office but enabling him
to speak freely. Weeks after the election, however, the heir is still being held against his will.
Videotapes released in the post-election period show him bruised and bandaged, still not allowed
to answer questions from the Press.
 
Meanwhile, militant thugs representing The Iron Triangle have intimidated voting officials, physically
assaulted their opponents, and disrupted opposition speeches before international observers. Though
this behavior is hard to understand -- even repellent -- in modern, civilized democracies, it is not
unusual in corruptly-controlled nations in Africa, Central and South America, Eastern Europe, and
some of the more militaristic areas of Asia. Arguably, it must be viewed through that lens.
 
Call to action: Demand Freedom Now!
The United States has now been established as something of a hybrid plutocratic monarchy, so no one
in the civilized world can expect it to behave with any respect for democracy. Indeed, the local language
(also controlled by the Press) has been changed to accommodate the anti-democracy movement's desire
to soften its image. Illegal and disgraceful election fraud is now quaintly referred to by the Press as
"irregularities," not unlike minor digestive problems. However, even the most hard-line right-wing
observers can agree that this continued illegal imprisonment of a wealthy white person cannot be tolerated.
 
Tell The Iron Triangle to FREE GEORGE W. BUSH. Allow him to openly answer questions about
his captivity, the policies he's been forced to adopt, the fabled "twin daughters" we also never see,
and his criminal history. If they refuse to FREE GEORGE W. BUSH within the next week, free
nations around the world must impose sanctions. Appropriate sanctions for this ultra-rich cabal
should include the denial of visas to those who would come to the United States as servants and
farm workers as well as the immediate nationalization of all US-owned businesses in every free
country (essentially all businesses). Not even the ruthless forces of The Iron Triangle would risk
alienating their wealthy backers, so the mere threat of such actions will doubtless force them to
FREE GEORGE W. BUSH.
 
(I would warn leaders of free nations not to actually try to enforce these sanctions, since The Iron
Triangle controls the US military. They will, without blinking, kill you, expatriate your working-class
citizens, forcibly claim or reclaim any nationalized business, and overthrow your government,
installing their own bizarre form of pseudo-democracy in your place.)
 
 
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