Aaron Barnhart writes:

That must have been some meeting David Letterman and CBS chief Les
Moonves had earlier this month. Even after the host of "Late Show
with David Letterman" took a week's hiatus -- where presumably he
forgot all about the cares of network TV -- Dave found himself unable
to drop the subject on his first night back.

Usually when Letterman returns from vacation, it's with a clean slate
and renewed vigor. There was plenty of energy on Monday's taping --
but otherwise Dave picked up right where he left off a week earlier,
dropping oblique and not-so-oblique clues about what happened during
his 90-minute meeting with Moonves.

Fans of "Late Show" will recall that throughout the last two
pre-hiatus broadcasts, Letterman kept repeating the phrase,
"You got a problem with me?"

Those words, according to Dave, were uttered by Moonves during their meeting,
which took place mere hours before Thursday's and Friday's shows were taped.

The words obviously stuck in his craw. As the piece de resistance, Friday's Top Ten list
was devoted to "Things Overheard at a Meeting with Les Moonves," just so Dave
could have the satisfaction of reading at No. 1, "You got a problem with me?"

Letterman griped at length, almost ad nauseam, to his bandleader Paul Shaffer during both shows.
"I'm 53 years old. I don't need any more meetings," he said at one point.

The current situation bears eerie parallels to NBC -- and I'm not talking about the late-night power struggle
of 10 years ago. In 1979, then-NBC honcho Fred Silverman made the mistake of treating Johnny Carson
with less than the proper amount of fealty. Carson, who was then in his mid-40s, began dropping hints in the
media that he might retire. With NBC's ratings in the toilet, Johnny had called Silverman's bluff, and it cost
the network dearly: Carson got ownership of "The Tonight Show," ownership of the franchise that would
become "Late Night with David Letterman," more vacation time, a reduction of the show's length from
90 to 60 minutes, and of course, a hefty raise.

Perhaps it's just a coincidence that Letterman is in negotiations to renew his contract with CBS.
His current multiyear deal expires in 2002.

Monday's show was not three minutes old when Letterman took his first shot at the network honcho.
He joked that Moonves, who recently returned from a high-powered summit with Cuban leader Fidel Castro,
had just helped Chinese premier Zhu Rongji celebrate his 75th birthday.

Then, no sooner had Letterman settled behind his desk than he blurted out another revelation,
no doubt from his meeting with Moonves. Letterman noted that one of the guests that night was
"Survivor" contestant Jeff Varner. Then he added, "none of them want to come on my show anyway,"
referring to "Survivor" contestants, because, he's been told, they think Dave is "snotty" toward them.
Now who could have possibly told him that?

Letterman added, half-jokingly: "I think I'm on probation." And: "I think somebody might be docking my pay."

It seems clear that Moonves' patience is finally wearing thin with his late-night heckler, who has made fun of him
almost from the day he walked through the door at CBS (just as he has done with every one of his bosses going
back to Silverman). Publicly, Moonves is a pro, and in the past he has gallantly waved off numerous satirical
treatments of him.

But events of recent months may have put a strain on the relationship between Moonves and one of the very
few talents at CBS who can say he owes him nothing. Consider:

*    In December, Dr. Pepper, which is a major sponsor of college football on CBS, complained loudly to
the network's sales staff after Letterman referred to the soft drink as "liquid manure."

*    In January, the latest actor to appear on the show posing as Moonves was unusually nasty.
His words were bleeped although astute lip-readers in the audience detected "Moonves" saying,
"Yes sir, all in all my life is one hot, throbbing bulge after another."

*    Then, in a conference call with reporters, Moonves was asked about the sketches making fun
of his visit to Fidel. Moonves said they had gone on "a little longer than I'd like."
That story came out two days before his meeting with Letterman.

A CBS spokesman did not reply to my e-mails seeking comment from Moonves, though Moonves
confirmed to Eric Mink of the New York Daily News that the meeting indeed happened; that it was not
scheduled; and that, in Moonves' words, "We talked a little about 'Survivor.'"

Moonves argued that viewers don't even knew who he is, much less care about a trip he took to Cuba.
But he can hardly make that claim today, when media moguls are profiled and quoted constantly in the
mainstream media and when magazines like Forbes list executives alongside celebrities in their ratings o
f the most powerful people in show business. (In this year's Forbes survey, Letterman came in 24th.)

Among the "Late Show" faithful, there's little doubt who's at fault in the bubbling feud.
"I don't understand how Les can take that much offense at it," read a typical post on the alt.fan.letterman
newsgroup. "Seems like he is low in self esteem or something. How about ignoring it and running CBS
... I hope Don Rickles doesn't call him a hockey puck, he just might lose it."

Curiously, on the same night that Letterman read his Moonves Top Ten, Conan O'Brien was airing a
parody sketch about one of NBC's most overhyped properties, the XFL. The three-minute taped bit
was one of the better "Survivor" spoofs I've seen. It purported to show the last six people still watching
the XFL, in a competition to see which viewer would outlast the others. It ended with an outdoor scene
of  the last few angry XFL viewers chasing down NBC Sports executive Dick Ebersol and taking out
their wrath out on him. (Of course, it wasn't Ebersol but an actor.)

In a way, this three-minute taped bit cut deeper than Dave's potshots at "Survivor" because it was a
drawn-out satire and because the sketch underscored the fact that the XFL, unlike "Survivor," is failing.
Still, Moonves must feel about now like a guy who's had 100 paper cuts inflicted on him -- and the worst
of it is that if he wants to avoid further bloodletting, he needs to zip it. Letterman may not wield the clout
Johnny Carson did 20 years ago (who does?), but he has tenure, and the ear of the powerful New York
media, who watch his show nightly. Moonves might do well to consider that and keep all future thoughts
about Letterman to himself. That won't come easy; Moonves rarely betrays even a hint of annoyance
when he's on the record, but he can be extremely caustic and blunt off the record.

Still, if I may quote an old newspaper adage,
don't pick a fight with someone who buys his ink by the barrel.

As Maria Pope, one of the show's executive producers, told TV Barn last week,
"We make jokes of everybody and network executives have no immunity from that."

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