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April 26, 2000
LIBERTIES / By MAUREEN DOWD
G.O.P.: Guns Are Scary!
WASHINGTON --REPUBLICAN PLATFORM 2000 -- THE VISION SHARED
(Post-Elián revisions in bold face)
Strong Families and Strong Communities
We are the party of the American family. We believe that strengthening family life is the best way to improve the quality of life for everyone.
We are the party of the Cuban-American distant relatives. We believe that strengthening our ties to Cuban-Americans is the best way to improve the quality of life for Republican office-seekers.
The best care for most children, especially in the early years, is parental. Government must never hinder it.
The best care for some children, especially in the early years, can come from a loony cousin-on-the-verge-of-a-nervous-breakdown. Government must sometimes separate a child and parent, if that parent is hindering electoral votes.
Republicans traditionally have held children within what Blackstone called "the empire of the father," which tells the state and the courts to butt out of what is the parent's sphere of sole discretion.
Sometimes minors, even 6-year-olds who believe Play-doh is better than Prozac at relieving stress, are entirely competent to make decisions about their future. The parent's sphere of sole discretion ends at the Florida Straits, and children occasionally can live legally within what Blackstone called "the empire of the great-uncle."
Safe Homes and Streets
One of the first duties of government is to protect the public security -- to maintain law and order. We must erase the legacy of liberalism that leaves law enforcement officers powerless to deter crime with the threat of certain punishment. Unlike Bill Clinton, we respect our men and women in uniform, risking their lives in service to our nation.
Let's face it. Sometimes police officers and federal agents are pigs. Not to mention jackbooted thugs and storm troopers. The rule of law must not eclipse the rights of lawbreakers who belong to key voting blocs.
It's permissible to use excessive force on an immigrant waving his wallet in New York's inner city (a k a Democratic precincts), but it's not permissible to use excessive force near an immigrant being tucked into a closet in Miami's inner city (a k a Republican precincts).
A generation of fatherless boys raises the prospect of soaring juvenile crime.
A fatherless boy here and there, now and again, won't hurt anything.
Lawlessness is crumbling the foundations of American society. We support decisive action to quell civil disorder, to stop those who set fires, burn American flags and riot.
Lawlessness has its place. Setting fires, burning American flags and rioting can be a legitimate form of self-expression.
Restoring Justice to the Courts
The American people have lost faith in their courts, and for good reason. The federal judiciary oversteps its authority under the Constitution, making up laws and inventing new rights as it goes along, arrogating to itself powers King George III never dared to exercise.
The American people have complete faith in the courts, and for good reason. A federal judiciary overstepping its authority can be a beautiful thing. We salute the sage judges sitting in the 11th Circuit Court of Appeals in Atlanta. Arrogate away!
Our nominee, George W. Bush, no longer wants to be, as he said, "the tort-reform president." We have seen the benefits of constant, unrelenting litigation. At the very least, it's an effective stalling tactic against Commies. All Republicans are urged to get lawyered up.
Individual Rights and Personal Safety
Republicans defend the constitutional right to keep and bear arms. We are the party of John Wayne.
Goodness gracious, guns are big and scary and can give you nightmares. As Mr. Bush says, "Ours is a nation of laws, not guns." Of course, we still welcome six-figure checks from the N.R.A.
A Sensible Immigration Policy
We support efforts to secure our borders from the threat of illegal immigration and end asylum abuses.
Some asylum abuses are fine, as long as the applicant is a photogenic Cuban kid. Haitians need not apply.
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