WASHINGTON -- In Bushworld, it's always Day 41 of Desert Storm, that glorious day the
                president's approval ratings soared toward 91.

                The head-scratching choice of Dick Cheney is explained by the fact that he was in the
                bunker during the family's finest hour. They would have preferred Colin Powell, who was also
                in the bunker during their finest hour. But they let Brent Scowcroft, who was also in the
                bunker during their finest hour, help seal the deal for Mr. Cheney.

                It's impossible to work up even a solitary goosebump for a former staff member in the Ford
                White House. A prosperous, well-fed, balding, bland, male Republican Washington insider
                and former House leader who voted to the right of the N.R.A. and Newt Gingrich.

                In Congress, Mr. Cheney was way, way out there, always willing to pony up money to
                guerrillas in Nicaragua and Angola but not to poor women whose lives were endangered by
                their pregnancies.

                When Trent Lott starts gushing about somebody, Katie bar the door.

                The Texas governor who promised to be a "different kind of Republican," the candidate who
                used words like "inclusive" and "compassionate" and "heart," is now running with a guy who
                defended cop-killer bullets and plastic guns that could slip through airport metal detectors.

                Million moms will love that.

                The Bush convention in Philadelphia will be gauzy, trying to appeal to women, moderates
                and minorities, showcasing Elizabeth Dole, Condoleezza Rice (also in the bunker at the
                finest hour), John McCain, General Powell and Laura Bush. The opening theme is "Leave no
                child behind." It will be delicious to see how the Republicans deal with those Cheney votes
                against Head Start.

                "Inclusive" loses a little punch when you are running with someone who in 1986 opposed a
                call to release Nelson Mandela after 23 years in prison, and often voted against the
                economic sanctions that helped crush apartheid.

                The Cheney choice is about the past. But then, W.'s campaign has always been less about
                vision than vindication.

                The dauphin must reclaim the throne because the Bushes must restore the halcyon days of
                the ruling-class court that thrived before that dissolute commoner Bill Clinton usurped it.

                The family yearns to go back to the "honorable" days, the golden era of Establishment reign
                -- before the decision not to go into Baghdad began to fester, before Bill Clinton stole credit
                for the thrumming economy, before first ladies went all weird on us.

                Mr. Cheney was picked because he is the anti-Quayle. George I was determined that
                George II not repeat his mistake, choosing someone young and callow. The ticket already
                had that covered.

                Back in 1988 Mr. Cheney, then a House luminary, would have been a good choice for
                George I. For George II, he comes across as the baby sitter.

                Mr. Cheney has been minding Junior all year -- first coaching him in foreign affairs, then
                helping him sort through his V.P. picks, and now stepping in to provide a steady hand on
                the tiller.

                The past dictated the choice in this way as well: W., who had loafed through long years
                when he could have been prepping for the presidency, felt he needed some heaviness on
                the ticket.

                The Bushes hate being "psychoanalyzed," as they call it. They don't like personal
                questions. And yet they make many crucial decisions based on personality.

                The father chose Dan Quayle and the son chose Dick Cheney for the same reason: They
                wanted men who liked them, men with whom they had "a comfort level."

                And while Mr. Cheney might have voted like Tom DeLay, he has a calm and avuncular air.
                He vetted the other candidates, but he himself was vetted by W. and Poppy, who, as usual,
                trusted their instincts.

                I doubt either Bush would have felt comfortable running with a woman. Or with anyone who
                challenged their egos or made waves, like John McCain. They need a history of loyalty, and
                they have a preference for deference.

                Dick Cheney is one of their guys, in the Club. And they know best.

                Before the Bushes mess up any more vice-presidential picks, for Jeb or George P., they
                might want to stop checking their gut and start checking the voting record.

                A ticket with two rich white Texas oilmen who went to Yale, avoided Vietnam and act more
                moderate than they are? For the Bushes, that's a perfect fit.