Here's the deal:

When you produce what Dave calls a 'Space Monkeys movie' the minute
the space monkey appears, all logic is erased and gravity no longer exists.

 SPOILERS:
 Don't read this and  say "Why didn't you warn me?"

In this movie Kevin Kostner is an ER Doc who's pregnant wife is killed on a bus
that was victim to a mudslide in Venesuela and her body was never found.

Costner starts getting nightmares and visits from the beyond. Since he works in the ER,
every patient who shows up dead and then is recessitated tells Kostner, "Betty says 'Hello.'"

Betty is trying to communicate from the "afterlife."
Trouble is, Betty has Smirk for brains.

In the movie, Betty tries for days and days to communicate with Costner by sending him
images of a "crucifix of jello."   Everywhere Costner looks, there are squiggly crosses.
In  his mashed potatoes, in his flower pot, in his French Toast.

Then, remember that great, great scene in Poltergeist where Jo Beth was looking at the kitchen table,
which was all normal and stuff, and she turned to the left, then turned back to the right, and even tho only
2-3 seconds had passed, the chairs had been re-arranged in a balanced array that would've taken minutes,
minimum, to pull off.   At that moment, Jo Beth knew she was dealing with space monkeys.

Let's go over this again:

There is no God.
There are no demons.
There is no such thing as Hobbits.
The Easter Bunny doesn't exist.
Santa is a fun toy for children.
There are no true "boogeymen," unless you count the vote-stealing sons-of-bushes who
took away America's Bill of Rights and are attempting to destroy a once-mighty nation.
There are no "evil demons" unless you include the Bush Family Evil Empire.

OK, so in the movie, Costner's dead wife kept trying to get a message to him by writing a jello crucifix
in the mud and other cryptic methods. There's a scene in the movie where Costner is cleaning out her
closets and he tosses the dead wife's fifteen dresses on the bed. He turns around, and when he looks back,
those fifteen dresses jumped up like Larry Klayman at a Hillary Clinton deposition and THREW themselves
back into the closet, in place, on the dress rack which happens all the time, ...right?

Hello?

Don't get me wrong.
I love science fiction.

But Kevin Costner's dead wife is trying to send him a message from the fairyland that we're
all going to after our brains rot. So what does she do? She sends him little squiggly crosses.

But wait a minute!

If Costner's dead wife can menbtally pick up fifteen of her dresses off the bed and hurl them
perfection-style onto the closet pole like Martha Stewart spent an hour at it, why the hell can't she
manipulate the keyboard when he sits down to send some e-mail and say,

"Hey, Dumbass. You have something waiting for you under the waterfall in Venesuela."

Doesn't that make sense?  If she can muster the force to hang dresses up,
why can't she pick up a pancil and write him a damn note?

It's outrageous that Hollywood doesn't have to meet an I.Q. of 40 to produce a $40M movie.

If the dead lady can telekenetically throw dresses on the rack, why the hell can't she f-ing type?

I can type, as witnesses by the drivel you read,
but I'm unable to maneuver objects with my post-mortem mind.

Am I right?

Don't you think major movie studios should pay me to point out these massive howlers in advance
so they don't look so stupid when the movie comes out?