When I was 14, I wanted a set of drums more than I wanted to drive.

 I wasn't raised like the silver spooned Smirk, so my Mom made me a deal:  If I got a job,
 she'd buy the drums and I give her my paycheck every week until the drums were paid for in full.

 ha ha

 I was sure being a drummer would get me in big-time with the babes.
 
 So I went to work in an juice bottling factory, loading and unloading trucks.
 While I was there, I learned a little bit about the stuff.

 The best orange juice you can buy at a store is Tropicana in a bottle - not a cardboard wax carton..
 This is 100 percent real orange juice - not from concentrate.
 They advertise it this way:

 The "gold standard" of orange and grapefruit juices, Tropicana Pure Premium is the world's #1
 and original not-from-concentrate (NFC)100% juice brand. Our flagship brand is the perfect
 combination of taste and  nutrition. It's absolutely pure  juice—nothing added, nothing  taken away

  Sidebar:
 The best bottled water you can buy is Mountain Valley Spring water from Hot Springs, Arkansas.
 If you're Catholic, you can use it to heal, like the water from Lourdes.

 So, anyway, I'm in the store the other day and I felt like some superior orange juice,
and I see they have a "new & improved" sign on Tropicana's best.

New & improved?

How do you improve on absolutely pure not-from-concentrate orange juice?
If, as their ad says, "nothing is added and nothing is taken away,"
how do you put "new & improved" on your bottles?

Maybe, unlike Sammy, they're using clean barrels now?