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Subject: What Eldrick meant to say
To my wife, I'm sorry. I fucked up but I'm not
changing so you'll either need to put up
with this shit or I'll stroke you the check I
agreed to in the pre-nup....sorry.
To my fans, get over it. Where I stick my dick
is none of your business.
If you care....sorry. I don't need any of you
in order to make 20 times in one month
what you'll make in a career. I promise
to continue to hit 4 irons from 210 yards to
within 10' of the hole and drop puts that you
couldn't read in a million years.
If that's not good enough for you, go watch tennis.
To the media. You cocksuckers are the only ones
more two-faced than I am.
Kissing my ass for all those years and then ripping
me constantly since Thanksgiving.
Fuck all ya'll. I'm glad I don't have to take
the time to sit and answer the same
bullshit questions over and over again.
To the other golfers. Kiss my cablanasian ass!
You motherfuckers come out ripping me
when I've put more fucking money in your pockets
than you could even count. You think
anyone's been paying to see Jesper-fucking-Parnavik?
Give me a fucking break.
I'm almost tempted to give up golf just to punish
you guys but I think it's going to be
more fun to practice for the next few weeks and
get back to making you all my bitches.
That's all I got today folks.....see ya at Augusta
!....
Oh and Bambi, if you're listening I'll meet you
at the Ritz in 45 minutes.
Sent in by Rick J
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