The Blessed Virgin Mary, the Mother of God, told the three children that
 the Third Secret was that Metallica would sue Napster in the year 2000.
 
 

 No, just kidding.
 But I do have a fascinating true/false story to tell you
 This story was a major factor in my spiritual growth as a child.
 The Miracle of Fatima changed my life.

 First thing, they have the story half wrong.

 Pick up any newspaper, (like the Sunday K-Drag World) and they say
 there was only TWO children.

 Koresh!
 If they can get the number of kids correct, how can we trust those kids
 to accurately quote the Virgin Mary?

 Secret One was the prediction of the end of WWI and the beginning of WWII.
 This sounds like major horse-hockey to me.

 I want to know what Mary's exact words were.
 I mean, c'mon, we're trusting some small children to bring a secret, sacred
 message from God's Virgin Mother to the Pope and we can't get a quote?

 If a vision appeared and said, "The Great War will someday end, and a
 greater war will eventually occur," that's NOT some big prediction.
 That's the same problem with Nostradamus.

 "Someday a man from the East will create havoc in the land of the Bear."
 That's no prediction - that's horseshit.
 That's the same as saying, "A great storm will occur in Texas."
 Yeah, I'll bet it might!

 That's no prediction - that's horseshit.
 That's some dink on the Psychic Network, stealing your money.

 Secret Two was the prediction of the rise and fall of the Soviet Empire.

 Duh!

 "A great empire will rise and fall?"
 That's a secret, sacred prediction?

 Dionne Warwick does better than that.

 Now, if she said, "The Berlin Wall will fall in 1990,"
 and if we learned of this in 1941, like they said,
 that would be a giant step towards being a prediction.

 But saying, "The Great War will end, and another will take it's place,"
 coupled with "a great power will rise and fall" isn't something I'd feel
 comfortable putting my faith in.

 Secret Three is the secret the Pope revealed just this week.
 Once again, they're not allowing access to the exact language,
 which, in the prediction business is everything,
 but one translation is,  "a bishop in white, in a sea of martyrs,
 will fall, apparently dead, from a burst of gunfire."

 Now, did the Virgin Mary really use the phrase, "burst of gunfire?"
 And why would a Divine Prediction use the word "apparently?"

 Call me the Doubting Bartcop.

 One last thing
 Something the Catholics try to keep hidden, like their exorcisms:
 In 1941, when the first two secrets were revealed, they said,

 - now grab your ass because this is a big one -

 they said "before the end of 1960, the Virgin Mary will
 PERSONALLY appear to EVERY CHRISTIAN and reveal
 the Third Secret to all Catholics who were going to Heaven."

 So here's poor, faithful, little BartCop, on New Year's Eve 1961.
 Remember, at this point, I'm six years old, and they HAD me.
 They had their clutches in me all the way.
 I bought into everything they were selling.
 If they said it, I believed it.
 I was the biggest Catholic ditto-head in .....Denver!

 I'm staring at the clock, watching those hands move closer
 to the twelve oclock position - and still no Virgin Mary.
 Remember, now, the priests and nuns gave us their guarantee
 that Mary would appear to every Heaven-bound Catholic.

 The clock struck midnight, and I got my first big clue
 that they were selling me a big old bag of horse-hockey!

 So, the great Fatima story has now been told.
 It seems strange, looking back 40 years...
 They guaranteed something they knew wouldn't happen.

 Why did they do that?

 Everything on this page is 100 percent true, swear to Koresh.
 Maybe in YOUR parish, you got a different story.
 If so, I'd like to hear from you.

 Oh, I got lots more, I got LOTS more Catholics stories that
 only a six-year old faithful, trusting fool would buy, but not today.

 Four decades later, I look around and I see organized religion
 is still selling the rubes a tale nobody in their right mind would buy.