BartCop's Hollywood Gossip - gossip-130807.htm

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There are lots of young celebrities who could use a good slap upside the head
before they wind up in the headlines for the wrong reasons. Let’s start with these five:

The first is a young female singer we’ll call HalfWit. She garners huge amounts
of publicity about her fake sobriety and about being a positive role model for
young girls. What a liar. We know that she was blowing piles of snow up her
nose last week. Yes, she calls it "snow". Because that just makes it so much cuter!

The second is a young male singer we’ll call Jokester. His pretty girlfriend is a
heroin addict who encourages him to do it too because it’s "natural". She is out
on tour with him right now and even brought some balloons for him. How thoughtful.

The third is a young male singer we’ll call Baby. He starts smoking weed first thing
in the morning, does cocaine, drinks every day, and mixes up a tasty purple beverage
when he wants to get really wasted. He hasn’t had a sober day in over a year now.
He is so reckless that he may expire in a car accident instead of an OD.

The fourth is an under-30 female singer we’ll call Really FuckedUp. She is so
fucked up all day, every day that she can’t fulfill even the most basic of work
commitments. All of those who think that you can’t get addicted to weed are
just naïve. She’s going to get sued pretty soon for not fulfilling her contract.
Wonder if she’ll get a tattoo to commemorate that?

The fifth is a sweet young female singer we’ll call Princess. She started doing
blow fairly recently, but now it’s a daily thing. Getting back together with her ex
and hanging out with his unsavory posse of juvenile delinquents and addicts
certainly isn’t helping the situation.

Any Guesses?

Half Wit: Demi Lavato
Jokester: Joe Jonas
Baby: Justin Beiner
Really FuckedUp: Rihanna
Princess: Selena Gomez

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