Arrived Sunday in Vegas, for the first time in over a year. Discovered, and don’t know how I missed it
before, the $4 shuttle to the hotel of your choice. Amazing. While Vegas cabs are cheap, they’re more like
$15 to most of the big hotels. Take the shuttle, gang. It leaves every 10 or 15 minutes, which is less time
than you’ll spend in the cab line on a busy day.

Arrived at the Luxor, which is that big pyramid-looking thing.

Rooms are big enough, but very plain and with lousy pillows. As usual, they don’t want you hanging in the room,
so no in-room bar, limited cable TV and even no city guides (they don’t want you leaving the hotel at all, so
why advertise restaurants, attractions or shows at other casinos?).

Luxor’s food, on the whole, sucks. Second rate steakhouse, third rate bars, and at La Salsa, truly horrid
Mexican food, as I found out immediately, as I went in search of Chinaco. None of the bars serve it, but
La Salsa has a tequila menu, with about 40 selections. Chinao Anejo was in the moderate range ($8.75)
but of major interest to Bartcoppers in general and BC in particular is the POUR. It’s very close to two
full ounces, and the bartender topped it off for free.

Whoo Hoo!

The general business there is margaritas by the yard for about $17 to $21, depending on your choice of tequila.
While it’s blasphemy, you can get one of these doodads (and you get to keep the yard glass, if you really want
the sucker) made with Patron or Chinaco for virtually the same price as any Cuervo product, or even the
no-name crap they give you if you don’t specify.

That night, too tired to leave the hotel, we retired to the in-hotel steakhouse called, cleverly enough,
The Steak House. It’s a chain. It’s OK. It’s expensive ($35 for a Tbone) and vaguely pleasant.
You could get the same thing for less anywhere in the world, and much better in any major city.
They had some fancy seafood place which didn’t even list prices and we took a pass.

The next night, we wandered over to the MGM, which actually has outstanding restaurants and live lions.
Really. Live lions. You can walk underneath them (protected by glass) and look at them close up.
They’re lions, alright. Teenager lions. They sort of lie there and roll around like pussycats. They sell
t-shirts that say “Here, human, human, human.”  Otherwise, they’re, well, lions.  Woop.

We wanted to eat at Emeril’s, you know, that guy who’s always yelling “bang” and “let’s kick it up a notch”
on FoodTV. But there was a long wait for a table and the menu, frankly, didn’t take my breath away
(unlike the one in Orlando, which is amazing, not to mention his places in New Orleans, which are terrific
if overpriced), so we bailed an went to the Southwestern Grill. I had the cowboy steak, which was good
(smoked, marinated, grilled and served with salsa, beans and onion rings) but not show-stopping.
Had some more Chinaco, served unattractively in a square shot glass. Not the wildflower one,
but very good. I switched to Grey Goose martinis after one.

The next evening was the highlight. My triumphant return to the Rio, where I stayed the last time I was in town

(I’ve been going to Vegas on business for about 20 years, so I’ve stayed at most of the older casinos,
usually Bally’s, and am now discovering the new ones). The Rio, as Bart has told you, is amazing.
All rooms are small suites (or big ones, if you have the money), and its restaurants, apart from an abysmal Asian
noodle house, are unreal.  Last time, I ate three times at their seafood grill, which is four-star and reasonably
priced for the quality of the food),  but this time we went straight to the Voodoo Cafe, up on the 53rd floor.

You NEED A RESERVATION at the Voodoo. Upstairs is a hot lounge, which charges a cover charge,
but you get in free if you have dinner. This has nothing to do with the Rolling Stones, by the way, despite the
Voodoo Lounge name. Think voodoo dolls and Mexican day-of-the-dead for decor.

They have more waiters per square foot in the Voodoo Cafe than at those places in Mexico where one guy
shows you to your table, one guy takes your drink order, one guy delivers the drinks, one guy...and on
and on until you’ve met the whole village. Once again, they  had Chinaco Anejo, so I started with that,
which was served, properly, in a snifter. Then I switched to hurricanes, which were terrific.

For dinner, I decided on a veal chop (I was really in carnivore mode on this trip) with a wild mushroom sauce.
Which, unfortunately, had just run out. So, sigh, I had a porterhouse, which was huge and well-cooked to my order.
But frankly, as in the other places, I have questions about whether this is prime beef. It was OK, but at $33, I expect
fantastic marbling and flavor, and compared to great steakhouses, none of the steaks I had really made the grade.

The Voodoo is known for its view, and you get a great one.

Vegas has grown enough that it’s actually interesting to look at these days. But I was expecting something spicy
and different, and really, it’s just standard American fare, with a bit of a twist. Underwhelming.

I had been invited to a party poolside at the Bellagio, which appears to be in a class by itself as far as casinos go.
But after two days of plodding through the Convention Center, and another day ahead of me, I opted to go to bed
at a decent time. I was told later the party was a blast and the hotel is as good as any in the world, so my loss.
But sleep is a valuable commodity to me. Even in Vegas. (But not in New Orleans, which is the REAL thing that
Vegas tries to imitate. In La Grand Facile, I go with the “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” approach, because the place
just gets more fun the later you stay out.)

It was well over 100 degrees the whole time I was there. It’s funny; you don’t sweat. The atmosphere just
swipes all your water direct from your bloodstream, and I was constantly dying of thirst, even indoors.
If you’re stupid enough to visit during August, carry a water bottle everywhere. Or pay $3 a bottle at the gift shops.

Note to cigarette smokers. First, you can smoke just about anywhere in Vegas. Second, at the convenience
stores in town, cartons go for $25, compared to $6 a pack in the casinos. Plan accordingly.

On the way out of town, we stopped at the Lone Star Steakhouse for a late lunch. This, if you don’t know
it, is a budget steakhouse. My lunch sirloin, at $10, was as good as any of the $35 steaks I had consumed in
the more rarified air of the casino side of Vegas. If you have a car, there are tons of decent restaurants
off the strip (with a million residents, they have to have SOME PLACE for the natives to eat). If memory
serves, an Italian place called Mario’s is everything the fake Italian places on the strip try to be, at a
fraction of the cost. There are also several low-priced Vietnamese joints around town that are very
good, with meals for less than $10. Usually, however, they don’t have a liquor license.

The days of free unlimited drinks for gamblers are over. They’ll spot you a round if you buy a roll of
quarters at the bars instead of the change booths, and the waitress will bring you a round after you pay for
a couple, if  you keep gambling, but it’s not longer the free drunk Vegas used to be. They’ll buy a bit
more often at the tables (compared to the slots), but you’re expected to tip generously on the free rounds.
So it evens out.

Did I gamble? Oh, yes. And left Vegas with a very impressive 200% gain on my investment. Which was a
quarter, dropped into a machine on my way to my room one evening. Last time, I came back up two-fifty.
That’s $2.50, if you want to nitpick it to death.

If they knew my gambling habits, Vegas would stop me at security on the way in and put me on a plane back
to Chicago. Oh, and one note. Southwest was fantastic...left on time, arrived on time, and didn't
give my seat away. Which is a lot more than people flying on United and other airlines could say....

Pete, too bad it didn't work out better for you.
One thing I think we've established - the food at the Luxor blows.

We have had better luck with the restaurants, but I'm sure that's because
when I find Nirvana, I don't want to try other places.
We hit the Balboleo (inside the Rio) every time, and it rules.

Also, next time try to hit The Venetian, The Aladdin, Mandalay Bay,
Monte Carlo, New York, New York, Paris, ...the list is endless.

I know you didn't have a lot of time, but even if you stay at a moderately priced place,
you should eat those meals inside the billion dollar buildings.

The Chinaco talk was encouraging.
I need me some Chinaco Anejo by the yard.

Too bad the trip wasn't more positive for you,
but I appreciate the trip report, Dude!.
 

We have other trip reports in the pipeline.

Stay tuned...