Kill Bill

 This isn't a normal movie at all.

 I didn't understand most of it, but Tarantino said in a recent interview that revenge films
 don't need much in the way of explanation. Somebody did somebody wrong, and that person
 spends the rest of the film getting even, kinda like Pinhead and bin Laden, except that Uma
 Thurman actually goes after the people that tried to kill her - not their oil-rich neighbors..

 Thurman is a pregnant bride who is massacred at the altar.
 Her husband, her unborn baby, the preacher, the guests - all are way-over-the-top murdered.
"Bill" has dispatched his deadly vipers to kill Uma, but I don't think they never say why.

 Plus, Bill doesn't just want her dead, no, he wants her beaten to near-death, then shot in the head.
 After doing that, the killers only think Uma is dead, but actually she's in a four-year coma.

 It's got the usual Tarantino time-shifting going on, which doesn't help a guy like me.
 Plus, he has dispensed with those cumbersome "laws of nature" that always get in the way.
 During a fight scene (more sword fights than Lord of the Rings) it's likely that someone
 will defy gravity by flying or running up a wall to the ceiling - things we all do every day.

 While in her coma, Uma's body has been rented out for sex.by a crooked hospital orderly.
 While alone, Uma suddenly wakes up and remembers the wedding massacre. Before she has a
 chance to sort it all out, here comes the crook with another customer to rape Uma's lifeless body.

 Of course, she's now alert but faking being in a coma. The crooked orderly ushers in his latest customer,
 who dies a very bloody death off-screen for trying to rape her. The fun part happens when the orderly returns.
 Uma slices the tendon right above the back of his heel, causing him to fall to the floor. Once on the ground,
 Uma positions his head in the door and proceeds to slam that door again and again into his gonna-bust-open head.
 It's so damn funny, it's hard to explain.

 After killing her would-be rapist and her "pimp," Uma makes a list of people she needs to kill.
 There are five names on the list, but we only see two listed victims die in Volume 1.

 Her first scheduled murder is Vivica A. Fox, Will Smith's wife from Independence Day.
 Watch out for the Kaboom cereal.
 Of course, after her first revenge murder, we see by her list that she's already killed Lucy Liu,
 but that's just more of Tarantino's time-shifting.

 This film has the oddest cartoon violence.
 Whenever somebody loses an arm, a leg or a head, blood shoots out like a fire hose.
 Whenever someone's head gets cut off, it squirts blood like the fountain that opens Friends every week.

 Much of the movie is visually stunning, such as the fight with 100 evil swordsmen at the House of Blue Leaves.
 At one point, the lights go out, and all we see are the silhouette of Uma cutting limbs off the bad guys with a
 beautiful blue background. There were audible sighs at the beauty of those silhouetted beheadings.
 The film closes with Uma giving Lucy Lui the Ray Liotta treatment in Hannibal.

 Financially, it was Tarantino's biggest opening ever.
 This half of Kill Bill costs $27.5M, and they made $22 of that back the first three days.
 Kill Bill Volume II will probably do better - critics love this movie.


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