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Subject: an e-mail that's going around...
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished
to see that his bed was nicely made
and everything was picked up. Then he saw an
envelope, propped up prominently on the
pillow that was addressed to "Dad."
With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.
Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing
you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because
I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I
have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.
But I knew you would not approve of her because
of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and
the fact that she is much older than I am.
But it's not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy.
She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack
of firewood for the whole winter.
We share a dream of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana
doesn't really hurt anyone.
We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading
it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.
In the meantime we will pray that science will
find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better.
She deserves it.
Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.
Love, Your Son
PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at
Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you
that there are worse things in life than my most
recent report card that's in my center desk drawer.
I love you.
Call me when it's safe to come home.
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