Subject:  A short rant by Lo Phat Ham
 

HEADLINES -
 
Bush wins election and keeps his promise to downsize government
Declares himself King on November 8th
 
Gore wins election and keeps his promise to continue the "age of prosperity"
Homeless and poor people declared "illegal".
 
Hey, either one could happen.
 
Gore is only a Nehru jacket and a conspicuous facial scar away from being
Doctor Evil, and Bush has that same look your kid gives you when he tells
you he has no idea who broke your favorite lamp.
 
I hear that Bush leads Gore by approximately four points. though, those may
be the ones on his driving record. Who knows? There more finger pointing
going on than when Charlie Sheen picks out his "evenings entertainment” at
the local whorehouse.
 
Also, don't whine and bitch about all the crap that's going down.
That's James Carville's job.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Here’s my thoughts on this whole fiasco.
 
Only In America
 
Well, it’s Nov. 20th and the answer still lies just over the curve of the horizon. The nation is divided and it’s a 50 -
50 split according to the votes and the polls. The Bush League wants the votes to stand as they are.. ..The Gore
Camp wants a recount. Tempers clash and opinions vary, however, there’s one thought that seems to be
prevalent, regardless of your political affiliation.
 
That one thought would be - Holy Friggin’ Christ!
 
It’s an epithet that seems to sum up the whole situation. It can mean whatever you want it to mean and, in political
circles, this is a wonderful thing. When I give voice to the aforementioned three words, I mostly aim them at the
press.. ..the media.. ..those that choose to live in the world of Political Journalism.. ..that refuge of the scum, a
filthy sinkhole of iniquitous buggerers, a place for the truly loathsome to go to ground like an inbred strain of
diseased jackals.
 
Any quick glance at who gets into covering politics serves not only to confirm this, but to show that this description
is weak. Political journalism is a veritable hell-spawn, corrupting all it touches, worming its slimy, sunless-white
tentacles into every facet of our society, seeking the rot it feeds on, ruining the pure to create the fecund pools of
putrescence it requires.
 
The publics "right to know" provides the wrong reasons to do almost anything. In the workplace, the bedroom, then
government.. ..wherever in society the media thrusts it's rotting, gray-toothed, vacuously grinning head, those
enslaved to it find themselves acting for their own reasons, not the real reasons, not the right reasons. Like some
blind, headless worm, a doomed, obsolete hold-over from an earlier and more foul epoch, the political journalist
hones in on the productive with the same unerring aim as that of the ravenous giant sea-lamprey amidst a school
of salmon, seeking to fasten their grisly sucker-teeth on the face of the body-politic.
 
In my opinion, politicians deserve whatever hellish attention they so blindly attract.. ..but do we deserve to be
drawn into the morass? Is there such a thing as responsible journalism anymore? Has accountability of the press
withered and died without anyone noticing?
 
Gore won Florida.. ..no, wait.. ..we take that back. It’s too close to call.
 
Bush won Florida.. ..no, wait.. ..all the votes aren’t in yet.
 
Bush in the next President of the United States.. ..no, wait a sec.. ..It’s still to early to tell.
 
Everybody say it with me.. .."Holy Friggin" Christ!"
 
Now we are doomed to watch another 7 days of "up-to-the-minute coverage" by these soulless golems and we’ll
be forced to run every single phrase they utter through our own personal "bullshit meters". Can we trust the media
to tell us the real story anymore? Could we ever trust them?
 
All I know is - Down where the rubber meets the road, in the real world, those of us who seek the truth of the
matter.. ..the Real Story.. ..will struggle through the mud and muck and mire, all the while cursing the bloated,
fat-assed media whores and pundits who not only ride the backs of every potential story like a rodeo clown with
an amphetamine shunt, but who continuously confuse the issues with their witless coverage and ritualistic
kowtowing to bigger, more bloated babbling scum higher up on the slime-chain.
 
Then again.. ..maybe I’m being a little too harsh.
 
<cough>
 
I’m just sayin’…
 
Lo Phat Ham – Rogue Reporter
LoPhatHam@yahoo.com