Subject:   Here's One for the Wicked Witch of the South

Bartcop --

Just perusing the ol' United States Code and found the following, which I offer as the meathook by which
someone can figure out how to hang the political career of Katherine Ambassawhore Harris for her
activities in Florida. I'm forwarding it to you in hopes that one of your readers somewhere can tell us
if it could apply and, if so, how to get that bitch indicted.  "Interfere with" or "affect" the nomination
sure sounds an awful lot like her arbitrary decision to not count all the votes. The reference is 18 USC 595.

Of course, there's also 18 USC 371 and 372, dealing with defrauding
the US and conspiracy, or even 18 USC 2381 -- Treason.
Thoughts?

United States Code
TITLE 18, PART I, CHAPTER 29 - ELECTIONS AND POLITICAL ACTIVITIES
----------------------------------------------------------------
Section 595. Interference by administrative employees
of Federal, State, or Territorial Governments

Whoever, being a person employed in any administrative position by the United States, or by any department or
agency thereof, or by the District of Columbia or any agency or instrumentality thereof, or by any State,
Territory, or Possession of the United States, or any political subdivision, municipality, or agency
thereof, or agency of such political subdivision or municipality (including any corporation owned or
controlled by any State, Territory, or Possession of the United States or by any such political
subdivision, municipality, or agency), in connection with any activity which is financed in whole or in
part by loans or grants made by the United States, or any department or agency thereof, uses his  official
authority for the purpose of interfering with, or affecting, the nomination or the election of any
candidate for the office of President, Vice President, Presidential elector, Member of the Senate, Member of
the House of Representatives, Delegate from the District of Columbia, or Resident Commissioner, shall
be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than one year, or both.

Hmmmmm....
I shall have my attorney research this.

From:   No name, please

Subject:   Why Gore Might Win the Overseas Absentee Ballots

4,100 overseas ballots had arrived by Tuesday.

Well, as of Monday, there had only been 446 military
ballots returned (presumably they check the postmark to tell).

I don't think that's the ratio Bush was looking for.
Rush and his sheep seem to think that all of the
overseas ballots are military.  Military could be less
than 20% of the total.

You see, I've had a theory for more than a year that
the military leaders have offered incentives to get
the soldiers and sailors to vote.  Maybe a day off if
a unit hits 100% voting rate.  I was in the army for
four years, and one thing I learned is that they do everything early.
Most of Bush's military votes are already in.

Who votes from overseas?

Military personnel:  Tend to vote Republican, but not quite a slam-dunk. 58-42

Civilian personnel on military bases:  Slam-dunk Republican.  65-35

Civilians assigned overseas:  Usually fall into the
Repub demographic, but also a lot of libs like
overseas assignments.  I'll guess 50-50 College
students:  65-35 Gore, but probably heavily diluted by
Nader.  My stereotype of a college student overseas
paints them as very Nader-esque.

Retirees:  I'll guess 50-50, but I'm not sure.

Dual citizenship American Jews in Israel.  Would be
75-25 Gore, but that nice Joey Lieberman brings it to 83-17.

Which groups will be most represented?
What will the real ratios turn out to be?

Tune in on Friday!

I hope they open the envelopes and count them one at a
time on TV.  This could go on past closing time, so
make sure you have enough of your favorite beverage.

BTW:  If I'm right, Rush and the sheep will freak out.
They'll accuse the "Klintons" of hijacking the mail.

I would give those Jewish voters a little more weight.
We could have us a surprise in those ballots.

Have you seen this?
 

"Fuck the Jews. They didn't vote for us"

 -- Daddy Bush's Secretary of State, James Baker,
    as quoted by Ed Koch in the New York Post, 1992

From:    mbatchelor@hits.att.com

Subject:     International support

Hey Bartcop,

        We should begin to lobby international leaders to not recognize a Bush administration, a la
Milosevic. Since he neither will win the popular vote, and is trying to rig the electoral college to win the
Presidency on a technicality, we should appeal to the U.N. to help us preserve our democracy.

A side benefit of the U.N. not recognizing Dauphin Bush as President, would be the stroke
Strom Thrumond and Jesse Helms would have upon hearing the U.N. resolution.
Just thinking out loud.........

J. Mark Batchelor
 

Mark,
That may be going a liiiiiiiittle too far.
I'd rather torture Smirk for four years than tear the country apart.

...just one torturers opinion,
 

From:   to.bob@att.net

Subject:      I Trust "The People"

Bartcop,

I hope that someone from the Gore campaign reads your web site.
I know that you provide a lot of information that they could use.
My suggestion to them is this:
Whenever the reporters ask about the Florida situation, he should just say

"I Trust The People."

Nothing more needs to be said. Smirk had his opportunity to prove that
he trusted The People, but he blew it.

Bob in Oklahoma

From:   swlacey@prodigy.net

Subject:        We trust people

During the campaign, Smirk kept saying
"They trust government, we trust people"

Now Gore should say "They trust machines, we trust people"

Steven

From:   johnblax@hotmail.com

"Empty suit filing more empty suits"-should be the description of shrubberies 'un-holy' quest.
There's definitely a "bustle in this hedgerow" in his rise up the "stairway to ogliarchy".

John
 

ha ha

From:   rick_stump@yahoo.com

Subject: It ain't up to the Brits

REPLY TO THE NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE

To the subjects of Her Majesty, the Queen of England,

In the light of your failure to prevent us from kicking you out in the 18th century and doing as we
damn well please, we hereby notify you that you can keep it down over there before we take notice.
Sure, historically America really doesn't pay much attention to the rest of the world.
But when someone does catch our eye, we tend to carpet bomb them to a pre-industrial state.
It may not be right, or fair, but it is a trend. I suggest you keep it in mind.

To aid in your realization that you should pipe down, the following facts are listed:

1. American English is distinct from British English.
Our aluminum is a lovely silver color, and we do not 'armour' our tanks, thank you.

2. When you can tell the difference between an Alabama and Louisiana accent, I'll pay attention to the
difference between a Londoner's and a Yorkshireman's accents.

3. Rather than "God save the Queen" you should learn "The Battle Hymn of the Republic". After all, if it
weren't for American soldiers you'd speak German today, twice over. And if it weren't for American
bread, butter, etc., you would have been starving while we saved your little old island from the Hun.

4. If I were to throw an American football block on football player, he'd be out of the game and I'd be
ejected. If I were to throw a real tackle on a rugby player, he'd be maimed. The pads in American football
are to keep you from being crippled or killed. Just because rugby players tear their ears in a group hug
called a 'scrum' doesn't make them tough. You want tough? You put your arms in the air while a 320 lbs.
man slams into you at a dead sprint and still catch the ball, that's tough.

5. If you can't settle the French's hash, find someone else.
After all, they have lost to everyone *but* the British this century.

6. The irony of a Brit complaining about American cars is too much.
I've driven British cars and they're like a Hyundai, but poorly made.
When someone else comes up with an idea as good as the muscle car, we'll think about it.

We really aren't interested in your opinion.

Richard
 

ha ha
Richard, I enjoyed reading that.
Write some more like that.