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Subject: Why can't Bush do math?

I spend a lot of time talking to conservatives. And I like it.
Oh, not because of the sparkling banter, the piercing insights,
or the swift repartee. Nope, I like it the way I like watching the
Three Stooges; look how freakin' stoopid they are! But the problem is,
they aren't stupid in a knuckle-dragging way (well, not always).
They are stupid in a 'the various philosophies I support are completely
contradictory, yet I can't realize it' kinda' way.

Let me give you an example. One acquaintance of mine is a dead-set
opponent of welfare. He says he doesn't like it because he 'doesn't want
his money going to crack-whores', thinks 'able bodied people should get
jobs, not checks', and 'well, all those blacks and minorities use guilt to
get our (meaning 'White Men's') money'.

But when I ask if he knows anyone that is or was on welfare, he says,
'Yes. A woman I knew had a child and her husband left her. I sometimes
babysat her kid while she used her welfare benefits to go to trade school
and become a licensed welder. You know, if she had had to pay for daycare
she couldn't have afforded school. I was proud to help her'.

So the only person he knows that received welfare was on welfare through
no fault of her own, didn't get enough welfare benefits to afford food, shelter,
daycare, and an education, and used her benefits to get a trade that pays well.
But he still thinks welfare should be cancelled because people on welfare are
lazy crack-addicted minorities.
He voted for Bush. Of course.

Then there is the Bush saw that '1% of the country
pays 30% of the taxes. That isn't fair.' I've heard
this ad nauseum. There are two guys at work that
repeat this like it’s a magic spell that will get them
laid. When I point out that the same 1% controls 80%
of the wealth in America they don't get it. OK,folks,
here we go - the IRS taxes MONEY not PEOPLE. If one
guy makes a billion dollars and 1,000 people combined
make 100 million dollars, the one man (less than .1%
of the total) SHOULD be paying 90% of the taxes! Sure,
.1% of the population is paying 90% of the tax, but
the *real* way to say it is '90% of the tax comes from
90% of the wealth'. So, what Bush is really saying is
'80% of the wealth pays 30% of the taxes and I want
those taxes reduced'.
Both guys voted, naturally, for Bush.

People say often that liberals aren't fighters, that
we don't yell and scream and throw things when the
conservatives lie, cheat, and steal. But I understand
why, and can give an example. When I was growing up
the kid next door was mildly retarded. Joey was a
sweet kid; kind, friendly, into baseball, honest,
hard-working. I loved hanging out with him. But the
kid on the other side of Joey's house, Shawn, would
get sooo frustrated when Joey couldn’t keep up. For
example, when Shawn found me reading comic books to
Joey he freaked out.

"Why can't Joey read?" he yelled, "He's 12 years old!"
"He can read," I said, "Just not very fast. And I
have to explain some of the words."
Shawn then yelled and cursed at Joey, calling him
stupid and swearing he wanted nothing to do with him ever again.
This is kinda' like liberals and conservatives. We can either try to
help them see the light and teach them new things, new ways of thinking, etc.
Or we can yell and scream at them.

Either way, they ain't getting any smarter.

Richard Stump