Now, somewhere in this country, there's a millionaire who likes bartcop.com
Someday, this millionaire is going to send me $50,000, or more,
so I can take this nickle-and-dime treehouse to another level
and inflict serious harm on the white-power ditto-spanks.
Don't wait too long, Mr. Millionaire.
You want to see bartcop.com grow and take on the big boys, right?
I can't do it if I'm broke and alone.
C'mon, Mr or Mrs Millionaire.
You want to see the Pigboy be forced to eat it, right?
Aren't you tired of that lying bastard getting away with it?
At the rate I'm going, he'll retire from his strokes
before I get big enough to force him to face me.
At the rate I'm going, I might get big enough to take on
Sean Hannity, who'll take Pigboy's place when he strokes out,
and that'll be fun, lots of fun, don't get me wrong,
but I want the vulgar Pigboy!
I want the son-of-a-bitch who called Chelsea the "White Housedog."
I want the pig who said Hillary murdered Vince Foster.
I want the whore who laughs at the veterans who died in dumpsters.
C'mon, you millionaire out there.
You've got more money than you know what to do with.
Swear to Koresh, I have hundreds of stories I can't get
to,
because there's just not enough time or manpower.
I need help, Mr or Mrs Millionaire.
You can remain anonymous or you can see your name
every day on the pages of bartcop.com
Don't wait too long, Mr. Millionaire.
I can't hold out much longer.
Hurry!