Too Bad it's Miller Time
 MNF Pass Rush Over Ratings isa  Huge Fumble
 by Ditto Debbie Schlussel

http://www.jewishworldreview.com

IN 1987, writer Kurt Vonnegut asked, "Who is more to be pitied,
a writer bound and gagged by policemen or one living in perfect
freedom who has nothing more to say?"

In June 2000, the thought police at ABC's "Monday Night Football" (MNF)
say the answer is both. By choosing comedian Dennis Miller over radio talk
show host Rush Limbaugh for the "third man in the booth" position on MNF,
ABC really blew it.

Most of my friends in the worlds of sports and sports broadcasting agree that
the choice of Miller is odd and won't be a good fit. We thought there could be
no other choice than Limbaugh, because during the three-months that Rush was
in the MNF commentator sweepstakes, he generated more buzz than the show
has seen since Howard Cosell announced his retirementin the early 80s.

Miller's buzz? The decision was announced late Thursday, and by Friday Night,
the buzz was already over. ABC would've done better searching over the
internet, like Tom Arnold is for wife #3. After all, ABC has been to the MNF
altar many times, and has been divorced more than Arnold, with Roseanne
seeming a better choice for Arnold than Miller seems for MNF.

My sources say that ABC didn't want to take the risk of picking a highly
political guy like Rush for MNF, and a handful of minor would-be media-critics
on the far left, who have made an ill-founded campaign against Rush their life's
work, sounded off against his views in few newspapers. Plus, it's no secret that
Disney, which owns ABC, is headed by Michael Eisner, a strong Clinton friend and
campaign donor. But Rush wouldn't have been political on MNF, and in playing it safe,
ABC is forsaking the marketplace, which can't get enough of Rush's radio show.

Oh, please.
Hollywood ignoring the bottom line?
How stupid can this lady be?
Next to Washington, only Hollywood has more greedy whores
The bottom line is all they consider.

But, they chose, Miller, a man who has nothing more to say past his formulaic,
ranting, sarcastic monologue, over Rush, a man who manages to have plenty of
entertaining things to say for three hours, five days a week, and manages to hold
the interest of over twenty million listeners. Rush would've brought a significant chunk
of those listeners over to MNF.

Woman, divide 20 million by five days a week.,
That means Rush has 4,000,000 listeners.
MNF can't make it on 4,000,000 viewers.

Miller's "popular" HBO talk show, "Dennis Miller Live"?
Well, it's not very popular. Not only is it on a pay-extra premium cable channel.
But the small minority who "pay extra" aren't watching him. The only show that
draws significant ratings on HBO is "The Sopranos." And Dennis Miller isn't on it.

..and Rush's TV show was so-not watched, it was cancelled.

MNF producer, Don Ohlmeyer, and ABC Sports President, Howard Katz, also went
with Miller because they wanted a pure entertainment figure, and Miller is thought to
appeal to the younger, Gen-X crowd that is watching the Internet more now than the
once sacred MNF contest.  But Miller, who had his heyday long ago,  doing the
"Saturday Night Live's" "Weekend Update" parody of the news, is not the pop icon
of Gen-X, Gen-Y, or anybody else. He's largely washed up, being relegated to
unmemorable phone commercials and bit supporting actor parts in a few movies.
Unlike Limbaugh, he has no constituency. So while MNF may revive his career,
he will not take MNF off the respirator.

One difference between the two?
Miller will still have a career when Clinton leaves office.

And if ABC was concerned about politics, liberal, outspoken Miller wasn't
the right guy. (No pun intended.)

No pun received, Debbie, trust me.

Ohlmeyer wanted to return to the glory days of Cosell's and Don Meredith's MNF,
when the program was king in the ratings, and people stayed up to watch the ending
of even the dullest game. But with cable, the Internet, and lots of programming choices,
the network is merely rushing the fifteen-yard-line on the football field of futility.
"If they think whoever they name is going to bring Monday Night Football back to
where it was their first decade, they are mistaken," Bob Thompson, founder of the
Center for the Study of Popular Television at Syracuse University told Scripps Howard
News Service. "They could name Moses to this, and it wouldn't have an effect."

Well, Rush isn't Moses, but he could've been ABC's "Hail Mary Pass." He was and is the
only thing that might have brought back some of MNF's luster. A la TV's predicted demise,
the "experts" were predicting the death of radio. A song called "Video Killed the Radio Star"
was the first video broadcast on MTV's debut in the early 80s. But the group that sang that
song ("The Buggles") is now defunct, and Rush, who single-handedly made radio--at least
for the three mid-day hours he's on--the highest rated medium, is still going strong on more
than 600 radio stations across America.

"Still going strong?"
 Tell that to Stern, Doc Harpy and the toothless horse molester, Harvey.
 They all claim more listeners than Senior Puerca.

Then there's Miller's style, if you can call it that. "I'm going to stay in the background and
ask questions a fan might ask. The rants are my HBO show and I won't try to recreate that."
Except that, without the annoying rants, there's no Dennis Miller. His SNL shtick was a rant,
his unwatched cable show is a rant, and so are his phone commercials, stand-up comedy
routine, and guest appearances on other shows. All he knows how to do is rant. It gets old.

At least Miller's rant changes, Rush's never has.
Rush has been Piggy-Piggy-one-note since Clinton was elected.

ABC announced that it will be running MNF preseason games instead of coverage of the
national presidential nominating political conventions, with only half-time reporting on the
conventions. I can just hear Miller, now. "Boy that Tampa Bay tight-end is stiffer than Al Gore."
Or, "The Cowboys had more facelifts on their playbook than Tipper Gore."
Or, "If Bush had designed the Broncos new uniforms, he'd get voted off 'Survivor Island.'"
It's not funny, but it's stock Dennis Miller. And MNF fans will quickly tire of it.

Look at her!
She writes dialog,
then puts those words in Miller's mouth,
then she says those words aren't very funny,
then she blames Dennis Miller for her unfunny writing!
What a fucking ambush!

With the scruffy looks and deranged rantings of a show-biz Unabomber, he may draw
extra viewers for his debut, but that will merely be the "gawker effect." Once viewers see
the twisted site of MNF's latest accident, they will drive on to other things, in the same way
that the NBC's NBA Finals and ABC's supposedly bullet-proof "Millionaire" have now
fallen ratings victims to CBS' "Survivor."

Can anyone tell me what point she was trying to make, there?
Anyone?

Miller is not only sarcastic and kvetchy, but he's known around Hollywood for his lack of class,
being rude to everyone but celebrities, using four-letter words, and making obscure references
to things no-one ever heard of--and frankly, no-one cares about. I experienced all of this firsthand,
when I appeared with him on ABC's "Politically Incorrect," recently. When I made a strong
comment about an issue, he replied, "Wow, she came out of the gates like Larry Mahan."
Who's Larry Mahan?

Larry Mahan is a world champion rodeo guy.
I didn't know who Larry was, either, I looked it up.
Once you know that, his joke is pretty funny.
The ignorati won't always get Miller's jokes, but that's one big reason
I really like him.  When Dennis Miller's off on a rant, I know I'm
not the smartest person in the room. To tell a family secret,
that doesn't happen that often, so it's a feeling I rather enjoy.

He said I was "a cross between Taylor Dane and U. Thant."
Dane's a formerly hip pop singer, and Thant was Secretary-General of the U.N in the 60s.
But, most football fans won't know or care about that stuff.

Woman, he said that on POLITICALLY Incorrect.
Those people know who U Thant is, you slut.

Unlike Rush, they won't be able
to relate to Dennis Miller. And he won't be able to constantly insult the other guys in the booth,
which is what he does.

Compared to Rush?
You're saying all Miller does is insult people?
Compared to Rush?

Which brings me to the class factor. Miller has none.

ha ha

Compared to Rush?

ha ha

Whereas, Rush knows where to draw the line, Miller-upon being named to MNF-said,
"I admire Don Ohlmeyer's cojones." He can't bring this Howard Stern act to the booth,
and he'll be hamstrung. Last week, Miller welcomed himself into ABC by dissing new
colleague John Stossel of ABC's "20/20," on Miller's HBO show, according to the Detroit
Free Press' John Smyntek. When Stossel missed his appearance due to a weather-delayed flight,
Miller proclaimed, "We didn't want him anyway."     What a jerk.

No, Stossel is the jerk.
Miller has  LIVE television show.
Do you know what the word, "live" means, Debbie?
Live means when your shithead guest cancels, you don't have a show.
Stossel claimed he was stuck in New York for three days?
I missed the weather reports of New York being "socked in" for three days
due to that dreaded late-June Nor'easter they got blindsided with.
Stossel's a prick and always has been, but you really fuck up a one-guest show
when you cancel at the last minute. I'd like to see Debbie Schlussel do a
live comedy show when her only guest cancels at the last minute in
fucking June because of "weather problems."

In contrast, Rush is a class act,

ha ha

Tell that to Chelsea Clinton, Ron Brown's widow, and Caroline Kennedy.

to whom even the most regular guy can relate, and he would've drawn all kinds of people
to the MNF venue. Aside from his 20 million listeners, Rush in the booth would've been
destination viewing for liberals like Detroit Free Press sportswriter Steve Crowe and my
cousin Ira; for women--whom the NFL is now trying to reach and many of whom are
Rush fans; and for a host of other niche groups ABC desperately needs.

In announcing the choice of Miller, Ohlmeyer said, "We want a telecast that's relevant, successful,
and unpredictable." Well, he's one for three--it'll be unpredictable, except for the ratings.
With ABC passing over Rush, look for those to remain in the bargain basement.

Hey, dumbshit!
Let me show you a quote:

"If they think whoever they name is going to bring Monday Night Football back to
where it was their first decade, they are mistaken," Bob Thompson, founder of
the Center of Popular Television at Syracuse University told Scripps Howard.
"They could name Moses to this, and it wouldn't have an effect."

You know who quoted that guy, Bob Thompson?
YOU DID, you ignorant slut.

Where else but  http://www.jewishworldreview.com
or  Newsmax.com  or Fox Whore News could
an ignorant Nazi slut like this get published?