Maybe we're going at this the wrong way.
Maybe we need to try another direction.
I'm never sure why, but about 4-6 weeks ago we jumped up in hits.
There's no way to pinpoint the cause (I think we can rule out
clever writing
and the constant stream of wonderfully inventive comedy routines.)
But I have a suspicion it was the nasty
personal attack launched against bartcop.com
by the bribe-taking ponytails at The Washington Mooney Times
that played a role.
So here's my idea: What if you, the reader,
wrote to Bill Kristol and Fred Barnes,
the co-fools who run that awful rag, The Weakly Standard
and "ratted me out."
What if you wrote to them and said stuff like,
"How are lying websites like bartcop.com
legal?"
"How dare he say untrue things about
our wonderful president?"
"Can't these kinds of sites be shut
down?"
"Aren't there limits to freedom?"
- that kind of thing.
Now - you can't use those words exactly, because they'll
know it's a set-up.
You need to re-phrase it or think up something truly awful to
say about
bartcop.com and I think profanity would be a plus!
"How dare that commie bastard claim Bush
was AWOL during wartime?"
"How can that lying SOB say Bush did
community service for cocaine?
"Can't you do an expose about this dumbshit
pinko loser?"
If they got enough letters, they may even launch an attack!
ha ha
I'd love to take on the whole pack o' bastards at once!
But, and here's the part that needs restraint:
If they get 100 letters all at once, they'll know somthing's up.
So, using your e-mail name, let's stagger this out.
A-E send the e-mail today, Friday the 22.
F-L send the e-mail over the weekend.
M-S send the e-mail Monday and
T-Z send the e-mail Tuesday.
(For those of you in Broward County, Florida, that means if your name
is
Rick Jones, and you go by "Moondoggie," use "M," not "R" or "J.")
I won't be able to repeat this, because they can't see this when
they check.
So tape a note to your monitor so you get the right day, OK?
Also, I can only keep this message up for a few hours, to avoid
detection,
so e-mail your friends and ask them to help, OK?
If we can get the Weakly Standard to hate us this week,
maybe we can get Fux News coming after us next week.
Remember: Make it short and use lots of profanity
to condemn bartcop.com
We have to send so much mail the the stalkers who'll try to warn
Kristol/Barnes
will get lost in the flood, so if you have two e-mail addresses,
send one on each, OK?
...and send me a copy, so we can print the best ones.
With any luck, Kristol or Barnes will assign a ditto-monkey reporter
to search for the "vitriolic" anti-Bush sites and we'll get a
mention.
For some reason, mail for Bill Kristol and Fred Barnes should be sent to:
If this works, everyone gets a free trip to Vegas!
Remember - short and profane, and be sure to mention bartcop.com
Next week's target?