Subject: Philadelphia Dispatch #3

 Hey,

 Well, it's 3:05 am, and I'm sending you my latest report from Philadelphia, Chief.
 (Psst -- This is where you shout, "Don't call me chief!
  You know -Perry White, Superman's...sorry, I'm tired.)

 As I'm sure you've heard, we had some excitement down here today. Two or
 three separate protests turned ugly. I was at the Town Hall when the
 protesters converged on it. Some people didn't seem to know what they were
 protesting. The more serious ones -- these would be the ones who got arrested
 -- were protesting the death penalty and the GOP platform in general.

 They marched from 15th or 16th and Walnut, which is near the Arts Center on
 Broad Street, also called the Avenue of the Arts because of its several arts
 schools and theaters, to the Town Hall, where the bravest of them staged a sit-in.

 They linked themselves together with these plastic tubes that work kind of
 like Chinese finger puzzles -- the more you pull on them, the tighter they get
 -- so the cops would have a tougher time removing them.

 The cops warned them a couple of times and then started making arrests.
 That's when it got really ugly. The protesters who weren't linked together
 threw bottles at the cops and broke windows in the patrol cars.

 I'm not sure exactly why they were arrested. One of the cops told me
 they didn't have a permit. When I asked a protester about that, he said,
 "Permit? We don't got not permits. We don't need no stinking permits."

 (Pause)

 ha ha

 Okay, well, really he said, "Screw the permit. We're exercising our
 constitutional right to protest a group of political despots who are
 auctioning our country off to the highest bidder." Needless to say, these
 guys were more serious than the Art Museum crowd on Sunday.

 ha ha

 One confused but well-meaning young boy, 19 or so, yelled out,
 "Bush is a murderer! Tell Governor Bush to free Gary Graham!"
 I tried to explain to the boy that, sadly, Gary Graham now is free,
 but he didn't seem to know what I meant.

 I decided not to get arrested with the protestors -- I felt I could do more
 good by carrying the news of the martyred protestors to you.

 ...Okay, I chickened out. I don't want to sleep in jail. I'm not in my 20's anymore,
 and I've begun to truly understand what Mark Twain said, "You know you're
 getting older when you hurt yourself sleeping."

 But I did perform one valuable service. Before the bottles started flying, I
 talked to a bunch of the protesters and gave out your url to a lot of people,
 so hopefully you'll get some new fans out of this.

 We had driven out to the First Union Center Sports Arena on Saturday night,
 and good thing, too, because by Sunday morning, all roads leading to the
 Center were roadblocked, including I-95. You know, the major interstate that
 runs from Maine to Florida. That one.

 You couldn't get anywhere near the place without press credentials, and since
 my press pass from Bartcop.com Headquarters International did not arrive in time,
 we were unable to gain access to All Smirk, All the Time. But that's okay.
 This entire series has presented information you won't find on the major news
 networks. I was about to make a joke, but I'm so tired, I forgot it...it was a
 really good joke, too.

 Anyway, on Saturday night, we drove the entire circumference of the Center to
 get the lay of the land.

 Now being a girl, I'm not a great judge of distances (settle down), but I
 would say that the complex is about the size of nine city blocks by nine city
 blocks, and a chunk of parking lot at least the size of a football field was
 awash in news trailers packed tighter than butt cheeks in a men's steam room.

 ha ha

 Not the little Eyewitness News vans they send out to film Mrs. Potter's Nut
 Museum, either. I'm talking about big, grey trailers with room for panels and
 panels of electronics equipment and satellite feeds, like the kind they have
 at the UFO Observatory in Arecibo, Puerto Rico. (No, I've never been to the
 UFO Observatory in Arecibo, Puerto Rico, but I assume that when you're
 listening for alien t.v. shows, it helps to have a big-ass trailer.)

 Apart from the guards at the entrances to the center, the place appeared to be
 deserted. Until we pulled up on the side of the road to consult our map for
 the direction we would take to find a hotel. Then a Secret Service guy
 appeared out of nowhere. I swear to God, this guy was dead quiet until he was
 right up on us. Makes you wonder how Reagan ever got shot. But once he
 ascertained that we were not driving a Ryder truck, he calmed right down.

 Well, that's all for tonight.
 The protesters are promising trouble tomorrow,
 so I'd better get some sleep.

 cm
 

 Let's be careful out there...