You don't normally get to pick your boss. And that's
the problem with this presidential election.
We are watching these debates between Al Gore
and George W. Bush -- two down, one to go -- and
in a way, we are conducting a job interview. The
candidates are wearing their nicest suits, selling their
strengths, downplaying their weaknesses.
It's the same thing that happens when you go to hire
a salesperson, a secretary or a housekeeper.
Only in this case, once you make your choice, the
person no longer works for you, he's in charge.
No wonder the way Gore sighs seems to make so
much difference to us. No wonder the way Bush
smiles goes such a long way with voters.
I mean, who wants a boss he doesn't like?
A friendly face?
Which leads us to our dilemma. We are watching
these debates like children auditioning baby-sitters.
Who wants the old hag with a stern look and a sharp
tongue? Wouldn't we prefer the friendly-faced teenager
who looks as if she wouldn't mind a pillow fight?
I can't tell you how many people after that first
debate sent me e-mails complaining about Gore's
sighing and seeming impatience. And the fact that he
behaved like a "know-it-all."
Far fewer people said that when it comes to president,
picking the guy who knows more might be important.
And how many people, after that first debate,
branded Gore a "liar" because he said he'd traveled
to Texas with a certain federal official (a guy most
Americans have never heard of) when in fact he'd
traveled with one of the man's deputies (another guy
most Americans have never heard of).
For that faux pas, and one other exaggeration
(concerning how long a schoolgirl stood in a crowded classroom) Gore was
pasted, lambasted and parodied on "Saturday Night Live" as a serial prevaricator.
Yet after the second debate, far fewer people
jumped on Bush when he said that all three white
supremacists charged with killing a black man in
Texas "were going to be put to death."
In fact, only two are.
I don't know. Forgetting how many people you're
executing seems a more bothersome memory loss
than who you took a trip with.
Why wasn't there more objection? Because Bush
comes across as the nice baby-sitter. We say to
ourselves, "Ah, he didn't mean anything by it."
Whereas with Gore, seen as stiff and deliberate,
every word is measured on a scale of manipulation.
Did you notice in the second debate when Gore
pointed out Bush's record on health care in his home
state of Texas? He said it ranked at the bottom of
the U.S. barrel, 49th or 50th. If we're judging candidates
on their records, that's a valid pretty criticism.
Yet when the moderator asked Bush -- twice --
"Are those numbers correct?" Bush never answered.
Was there outrage? No, because of the way we look at Bush.
He doesn't like to get too bogged down with numbers.
Why should we?
The right man?
Now I know in reading this, many people will assume I am pro-Gore
and anti-Bush. That is not true. To be honest, I haven't made up my mind.
Besides, I am not a political columnist, and whom I support matters little.
But I am concerned about the process. I am concerned about a country
that sees sighs, eye rolls and kisses on "Oprah" as the barometers
of who will make a good president.
The accusations that Gore "reinvents himself"? What politician doesn't?
Bush is charming and gets people to work together?
They said the same things about Bill Clinton.
What worries me is that we, as Americans, have so
little interest in the actual issues, that we judge our
most important election based on who we think we'd
like to have lunch with.
The teenage baby-sitter wasn't always the most
responsible one. The stern-looking hag often knew
best how to handle an emergency. There is a time to
worry which guy has a nicer laugh and a time to
worry which guy knows what he's talking about.
If you decide that's Bush, fine. If you decide that's
Gore, fine. I am not telling people how to vote.
I am suggesting that if we want a serious president,
we ought to be serious in our standards.
Contact MITCH ALBOM at 313-223-4581 or
albom@freepress.com. Catch
"Albom in the
Afternoon" 3-6 weekdays on WJR-AM (760).