Now and then, big shot Republicans and NRA bag men gather
at Al D'Amato's clubhouse for a heavy cash exchange,
weakly disguised as a friendly poker game.
 

Rush: Hey, guys, look who I brought!
         Justice Thomas!

Thomas: No need to be so formal.
             Call me Stymie.

D'Amato: Hi, Stymie.

Bono: Glad to meet you, Stymie.

Dornan: Are you from Mexico?
             I'm not going to play poker with some goddamn jumping bean.
             Did you vote for Sanchez?

Helms: I thought this game was whites only.

D'Amato: It's my clubhouse and Stymie can stay.

Helms: Well, I'll be going then.
           I'm late for a door-blocking, anyway.

Rush: First game is seven card stud - nothing wild.
         Who didn't ante?

All:    D'Amato!

Rush: Fonz, you cheatin' bastard, ante up.

Quayle: Dittos on seven card stud, Rush.

Dornan: Stymie, last time I saw you, you were wearing a dress.

Thomas: You see, Rush? You See? People remember.
             Why I always gotta wear the dress?
              I'm a Supreme Court judge.
             Why I always gotta wear the dress?

Rush: Where's the food?

Quayle: Dittos on the food, Rush.

Rush: Knock off the dittos, Numbnuts.

Quayle: Dittos on the Knock offs, Rush.

Rush: Where's the goddamn food?

Dornan: Behind your fat ass, Moby!
             You almost knocked the dip off the table with your pilodinal cyst.

D'Amato: What in the world are we going to do?
               Our party is in a world of hurt. We need somebody
               who can fight back, get us back in the White House.

Bono: Bob, who do you like in 2000?

Dornan: Hell, I'd go with Rush.

D'Amato: He didn't mean as a bed partner, moron.

Dornan: I'm on my last nerve with you, Olive Oyl!

Rush: Stymie, pass those potato chips.

Thomas: Yowza, Massa.

Bono: Rush, have you been losing weight?

Rush: Yeah, almost 15 pounds. I did it with hypnosis.

Quayle: Hypnosis? Really?
            Show me! Show me!

Rush: I don't WANT to show you, so don't ask.
         Let's play cards.

Quayle: Please! Please! Please!

Rush: No, I'm not going to show you, so stop whining.

Quayle: Please! Please! Please! Please! Please!

Rush: OK, OK. OK. Just stop whining!!
          Christ, you sound like my first two wives...

One minute later.

Rush: Go ahead, boy. Tell them your name.

Quayle: very seriously  ...I'm Batman!

All:   (Howls of laughter)

Quayle: I must get to the BatCave at once!

Rush: Batman, you have your custume under your clothes?
         Show us your costume.
         Danny starts removing his clothes.

Bono: C'mon, Rush. Knock it off. He was Vice President!

Rush: Is that true, son? Were you once the Vice President?

Quayle: I'm Batman!
            I fight evildoers!

D'Amato: That's enough Rush.
              What if you can't bring him back?

Rush: Well, ....crime would drop... (Laughs)

D'Amato: For the love of fuck, Rush.
               Give Danny his mind back.

Rush: Why?
         What could they charge me with?
          Petty theft?      (Laughs)

          OK, OK... Wake up, Danny.

Quayle: ...Please! Please!
            Show me some hypnosis!

Rush:    Make him stop or he's Batman forever.

Dornan: Stop being such a shithead, Danny.

D'Amato: So, what will we do with four more years of Clinton?
               I'm not looking forward to my next senate race.
              Maybe we'll have a decent candidate next time.

Dornan: That fucking dirty yellow coward bastard Clinton!
             He gets away with everything!

             Billyboy Clinton is like James Bond.
             No matter how thick it gets, he ends up in the raft
             with the girl and a bottle of Dom Perignon.

Rush:     Hey, that's pretty good. Did you write that?

Dornan:  ...Sure..yeah, I wrote that...yeah...

Rush:    Stymie, get me more potato chips!

Stymie: Potato chips? Yes, Massa.

Quayle: Ooh! Let me try again. ..P....O...

D'Amato: So far, so good.

Quayle: ..T...

Bela:     You can DO it, Danny!

Quayle: ..A...

Dornan: Little bastard might get it this time.

Quayle: ..T...

All:  Go, Danny, Go!

Quayle: ..O...

All:   (Loud Cheers)

Quayle: ...E!

All:   (Groans..)

Rush: Can we please just play some poker?